On an island

[mmasmommy]

this is how I feel.

 

We homeschool for educational reasons (not religious ones) and we educate classically, both of which apparently make me an outcast in my local hsing community.

 

I have attempted to join 2 different co-op's but it seems that every class they offer revolves around religion in some way. I joined a group that just does various field trips throughout the year but even there as soon as they find out I don't use Abeka or R&S I am shunned. I attempted to form a book club for dd's age group and got zero response. I joined a science & nature club but at the first meeting they started talking about Mother Earth and got into some very political topics that we have differing views on. Not to mention the fact that the kids were sent outside alone to "explore" the 3 acres of land, none of which gets mowed because that "would disturb the natural habitat". As the mother of a child with chronic lyme disease that is a nightmare scenario for me. <sigh>

 

I don't know what to do. I don't care about me not having a support system, I can always come here but my kids need friends. I was contemplating putting a sign up at the library and attempting to start my own secular homeschoolers support group. The kids are involved in sports but neither seem to make real friends through that outlet, just aquaintances.

 

Sorry for the pity party, I'm just frustrated and sad to see my kids so lonely.

Edited June 1, 2011 by mmasmommy
my poor spelling.

[Carol in Cal.]

Can you put your children into enrichment classes with school kids? I did that somewhat, and it was great. For one thing, since they were held in the after school hours they did not conflict with homeschooling, which was wonderful in comparison with all the park days and fluff homeschooling classes that were held in the morning, our academic sweet spot. For another, it widened DD's circle of friends considerably, and they tended to be intrigued that she was homeschooling. True, some of them assumed that she had 'issues' that forced this, but others thought that she was either really smart or really lucky or both.

 

Interestingly enough, quite a number of them ended up homeschooling for a couple of years here and there, and we occasionally became partial resources for that. People move in and out of homeschooling a lot around here.

 

The other thing is to keep trying to pull people together if it's a priority of yours. Invite one family over for lunch one time. Or invite someone from church over after Sunday worship. You don't need to have friends that you have EVERYTHING in common with. I'm living proof.

 

This takes time. That's OK.

[mmasmommy]

The enrichment classes are a good idea. I'll look into that, thanks for the suggestion. :001_smile:

[Jean in Newcastle]

We get our socializing and fun through the Y, tae kwando, gymnastics, and things like that. Many of my kids' friends don't know that we homeschool or don't care even if they do know.

[justamouse]

this is how I feel.

 

We homeschool for educational reasons (not religious ones) and we educate classically, both of which apparently make me an outcast in my local hsing community.

 

I have attempted to join 2 different co-op's but it seems that every class they offer revolves around religion in some way. I joined a group that just does various field trips throughout the year but even there as soon as they find out I don't use Abeka or R&S I am shunned. I attempted to form a book club for dd's age group and got zero response. I joined a science & nature club but at the first meeting they started talking about Mother Earth and got into some very political topics that we have differing views on. Not to mention the fact that the kids were sent outside alone to "explore" the 3 acres of land, none of which gets mowed because that "would disturb the natural habitat". As the mother of a child with chronic lyme disease that is a nightmare scenario for me. <sigh>

 

I don't know what to do. I don't care about me not having a support system, I can always come here but my kids need friends. I was contemplating putting a sign up at the library and attempting to start my own secular homeschoolers support group. The kids are involved in sports but neither seem to make real friends through that outlet, just aquaintances.

 

Sorry for the pity party, I'm just frustrated and sad to see my kids so lonely.

:grouphug::grouphug:

 

scouts? 4-h? Robotics team?

 

Yes, put the sign up at the library. I would come in an instant. (I'd much rather a secular group than a religious one)

[delaney]

I feel the same way. No one I know close to me homeschools secularly and honestly the few I have met are , well, politely, VERY religious to say the least. Makes me uncomfortable to even sit through a conversation with them for the most part. Sigh:grouphug:

[BridgeTea]

Aww, I was just claiming to be on a similar island myself, in another thread. :grouphug:

 

My daughter and I ended up knocking on someone's door (neighborhood kids that we'd seen around, so not totally random and creepy it turns out) and inviting the kids to come see our baby chicks. That grew into lunch at our house, visits back and forth between our homes, holiday parties, and meeting up for biking and swimming. They happen to be former public-schoolers like us, but other than the fact we all like doing things outdoors our families are worlds apart. The kids play, and the moms talk about gardening and other fluff. It works.

 

The moral of my story: Don't be afraid to knock on a few doors.

Edited June 1, 2011 by BridgeTea
typo

[starwarsmomma]

my friend (secular homeschooler also) has been saying the EXACT same as you!

 

I understand her frustration...

 

Start a yahoo group for your local area... Make sure the local Homeschool co-op's know about you, ask to put a note in their newsletters about you.

 

My friend and I were talking about (for our older boys) setting up a teen poker or game night once a month... put on some sports on the tv, soda and chips and let the "guys" have fun playing cards... Make the dads supervise so there's no esstrogen there. LOL

 

My younger one's want to start a movie club. Once a month, go see a PG movie and be film critics.

[clarkacademy]

this is how I feel.

 

We homeschool for educational reasons (not religious ones) and we educate classically, both of which apparently make me an outcast in my local hsing community.

 

I have attempted to join 2 different co-op's but it seems that every class they offer revolves around religion in some way. I joined a group that just does various field trips throughout the year but even there as soon as they find out I don't use Abeka or R&S I am shunned. I attempted to form a book club for dd's age group and got zero response. I joined a science & nature club but at the first meeting they started talking about Mother Earth and got into some very political topics that we have differing views on. Not to mention the fact that the kids were sent outside alone to "explore" the 3 acres of land, none of which gets mowed because that "would disturb the natural habitat". As the mother of a child with chronic lyme disease that is a nightmare scenario for me. <sigh>

 

I don't know what to do. I don't care about me not having a support system, I can always come here but my kids need friends. I was contemplating putting a sign up at the library and attempting to start my own secular homeschoolers support group. The kids are involved in sports but neither seem to make real friends through that outlet, just aquaintances.

 

Sorry for the pity party, I'm just frustrated and sad to see my kids so lonely.

I am right there with you, for almost identical reasons. I moved here is Aug I live in the boonies and we have made no friends. I have met a few hsers the first questions, What church do you attend, what does your husband do? My kids are majorly lonely and honestly so am I So :grouphug:

[Night Elf]

I was contemplating putting a sign up at the library and attempting to start my own secular homeschoolers support group. The kids are involved in sports but neither seem to make real friends through that outlet, just aquaintances.

 

You should certainly give that a try if you feel up to the challenge. Goodness, even if you only get 1 response, that is one more family you have to do things with.

 

I would like to say that being a part of a group won't necessarily mean you or your children will make friends. In all the years of being in homeschool support groups that had park days and field trips, we found only one family that we considered friends. The mom was my best friend and her only son was my son's best friend. Even when we dropped out of the groups, we had each other. Then one day, she just dumped us. It took me months before I found out her reason - she said they just got too busy. :001_huh: My daughter never connected with anyone in those groups. They all had a good time playing but except for that family, we never got together with others outside the group.

 

My dd13 finally found a few really nice friends through homeschool classes. I hate that it took 8 years for it to happen, but I'm happy it finally did. It really is important for her to have friends. She is a very social being.

 

My ds14 wishes he had a friend. He has Aspergers and we joined a teen Aspie group, that I ended up taking over as a matter of fact. It's all boys and they enjoy meeting up every few weeks, but they don't talk outside the group. I've been encouraging him to get in touch with them via facebook but he says none of them are really active. That makes sense. They are all Aspies! I really don't see him making a real friend in this group. That's probably a topic for a different thread though.

[Parrothead]

What about your friends? Do they have children? How about your dh's friends/co-workers? Neighborhood? Playground? Scouts?

[Tarreymere]

Are you in Northwestern PA? We are in a small town and we are secular hs'ers also. I like the idea of a notice at the library, I have thought of doing that myself. Right now my kids just run around with the neighborhood kids, play sports at the Y, that kind of thing. We don't look for other homeschoolers but I know that there must be a few out there since our local school district reported eighty kids homeschooling in the district in the last few years. I have no idea where the heck they are. We don't even have a homeschooling group closer than 45 miles from me.

[GTJo1996]

I feel the same way. There used to be a bumper sticker for Georgia Tech (my alma mater) that said "We don't FIT the mold, we MAKE it." I realize now that this is true in many facets of my life. I'm not uber religious, I'm not trying to advance my kid thru math so she can be Ivy League material, I don't control every move my kids make, and {gasp!} I occasionally let them play unsupervised outside! We simply don't fit in with any of the HS groups around us.

 

We are active at church and do a few things thru the Rec Dept, but I do feel like my kids are missing out on those friends you can run around with and "do nothing" together all summer or the kids you pair up with to go to sleep-away camp. Maybe in time we'll find those people. I like to think they could be right around the next corner. Keep looking!

[JessieC]

I joined a science & nature club but at the first meeting they started talking about Mother Earth and got into some very political topics that we have differing views on. Not to mention the fact that the kids were sent outside alone to "explore" the 3 acres of land, none of which gets mowed because that "would disturb the natural habitat". As the mother of a child with chronic lyme disease that is a nightmare scenario for me. <sigh>

 

 

 

I'm sorry, this sounds hard. I am a little confused about why a nature group would want to explore a mowed lawn though--isn't the purpose of a nature group to get out into nature?

[mcconnellboys]

I'm sorry, I wish you were in this area, where we're finally seeing more of an open mix of different types of homeschooling. I would try posting at the library, and you might also check out 4-H in your area. If you have any local universities, you might check with them to see if they sponser any LEGO clubs, etc., too. What about pen pals for them to help bridge the gap until you get local things going?

[mmasmommy]

I'm sorry, this sounds hard. I am a little confused about why a nature group would want to explore a mowed lawn though--isn't the purpose of a nature group to get out into nature?

 

I understand this. I expected that there would be nature exploration, however I did not expect the kids to be trudging through 3 acres of grass that was waist to shoulder height looking for bugs. Inviting another tick bite is not what we're interested in after the hell we've been through in the last 6 years.

 

I have no problem with their club, it's just not a good fit for us.

[JessReplanted]

FWIW, we are Christians who homeschool, and I haven't found a group that we fit into either. There is a 'secular' group in the area. I went to one of their meetings and the women seemed really friendly. But then they moved the meetings to people's homes, and I just don't feel comfortable showing up at the house of someone whom I've never met. There is a 'Christian' group that meets at the library. We went to one of their events and I ended up chasing my two young girls around the whole time and never had a real conversation with anyone. And then there is another group that meets at a church nearby, but that is only for cyberschoolers.

 

We have absolutely *zero* homeschooling friends. :tongue_smilie:

[~Amanda~]

I could have written this.

[trailofsparks]

We've been a part of different co-ops or field trip groups. In the end, we've made our closest friends just hanging out at a local park. It's great b/c we live in close proximity to each other.

 

My suggestion: go to a local park in the middle of a school day and see who you'll meet! I do hope you meet someone soon.:grouphug:

[Occasionally]

I could have written this.

 

:iagree: :(

[mmasmommy]

I am glad to know that I am not alone but so sad that so many of us are in the same situation. It really stinks. :grouphug:

 

Rainefox - I am actually in Southern PA, in a very small town about 5 miles from the MD border. I wish I were closer.

[JoyfulMama]

I am part of a very small group that meets in York Co. Group is inclusive, and some of the meetings are at the church of one family, but it's not a Christian group. There's a family very big on unschooling, there are cyber schoolers, I'm much more classical, but the focus is on getting together to do some fun things and to let the kids develop friendships.

 

I don't look for a group of like-minded folks anymore, but look for a group of open-minded folks instead.

[Ellie]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

I'd look for activities outside of homeschooling circles, such as 4-H or scouts or dance or whatnot.

 

Even when we were hsing, most of my dc's social outlets were things like that. We usually only did park day with other hsers--no co-ops--although we did have a Camp Fire club with a few hsed girls for a couple of years.

[Halcyon]

I encountered the same thing when I moved from NYC to Florida. Only religious groups, most using Sonlight or Abeka, very few classical homeschoolers if any. There is an unschooling group about 45 minutes away, but the drive was too much.

 

Anyway, I started my own group. I advertised at the library, posted it online (there are some sites that list all the local groups and it's easy to add your own). We now have 30 families in the group; granted, most are not active, but I've met enough families so that we can have play groups, game days, park outings etc. I emphasize an accepting, open-minded approach to our group and all are welcome.

 

I now have a free site on groupsite.com to organize our activities, and I'm even vaguely thinking of offering a Kilgallon-based coop class next year :)

 

Good luck.

Edited June 3, 2011 by Halcyon

[YLVD]

I feel the same way. No one I know close to me homeschools secularly and honestly the few I have met are , well, politely, VERY religious to say the least. Makes me uncomfortable to even sit through a conversation with them for the most part. Sigh:grouphug:

 

Same here. I don't know many people with kids as is and very few homeschool. The ones that I have met are very religious as well.

 

My DD is an only, and very introverted, and I've recently decided to have her take some enrichment type classes through the school district. It's kind of an alternative learning experience.

[mmasmommy]

Thanks everyone.

 

I think I'm going to make up a sign over the weekend, put it up at the library, and see what happens.

 

I'm extremely introverted so this is hugely out of my comfort zone but it needs to be done for my kids sake. :)

[cat]

Join 4H! ;)

 

We love 4H! If your county doesn't have one look at the next county over. 4H is not religious or political! LOVE LOVE LOVE 4H

 

My DS are in a shooting sports 4H and Science 4H. Check out what your county offers. If the next county over offers something yours doesn't go try their club. You can also start your own club with 5 members.

 

4H ISN'T just raising animals for show at the fair. You can form a club around almost anything. I am planning to start a homeschool 4H club.

 

This past year my kids participated in the 4H state archery match, went camping, did community service by cleaning up our local river and have made some wonderful friends.

 

This next year my kids will participate in the competitions they offer throughout the year. Google your city name and 4H and then go see what they have to offer.....it's not all agricultural.

[Maverick_Mom]

I'm extremely introverted so this is hugely out of my comfort zone but it needs to be done for my kids sake. :)

 

This is me.

 

We ran into feeling isolated, too -- there aren't many homeschoolers in our town, and when we began to look at groups in distant towns they were made up of militant unschoolers or Christians who felt that they "owned" homeschooling. I'm a Christian and I think unschooling can be very successful, but both groups had a very narrow view of what was acceptable.