I was rebuked for changing my neices' diaper....

[twoforjoy]

I have to add, as for breastfeeding being immodest my kids are more concerned or curious when they see a baby getting a bottle. Breastfeeding is perfectly normal to them. My sons have even pretended to nurse a doll baby in play as young children (and even waddled around patting a shirt with a doll baby stuffed inside).

I remember my dad being horrified when he realized I was nursing one of my kids under a shawl one time...........like I was having sex in front of him or something. He couldn't see anything, but the thought of what was going on was killing him. I thought it was hilarious.

 

Yeah, it all depends on what you're used to. DS was breastfed until he was 2, and he watched me breastfeed his sister. Most of my friends breastfeed, and don't leave the room when they do so if we're together, so it's just normal to him to see a woman breastfeeding a baby, and he really doesn't pay any more attention to it than some other kids might pay to a baby being bottlefed.

 

But, my family was absolutely scandalized by the idea that I didn't go into a room by myself every time I breastfed my kids. In general, when I was visiting with them, I would, because it made everybody so uncomfortable, but the reason it made everybody so uncomfortable was because I was the only person in the family to breastfeed for a very long time. My grandmothers did, but none of their children did, and none of my cousins did. So it was just something people weren't used to seeing at all.

 

That tends to make me think that most people's shocked/scandalized/offended reactions to breastfeeding are mainly because they have just never seen it before. And that's sad. I have no problem with bottle-feeding--I weaned DD at 10 months because it was just too draining and painful for me to keep nursing her while pregnant, and she's been happily bottle-fed since then--but I do think it's sad that in some settings breastfeeding is so rare that it's something many people have never even seen before. Honestly, I don't think I saw anybody breastfeeding the entire time I was growing up--not until I went to grad school and had friends who breastfed their babies--because everybody I knew bottle-fed.

[twoforjoy]

IF it seemed immodest for the 13 year old to be in the room HE could have been guided into leaving the room. Why not teach HIM to behave in a modest way.

 

Excellent, excellent point. Why does the burden for "being modest" always fall on the woman, even when said "woman" is only a toddler?

[Alice]

Have you gently discussed with your son the difference between adult nudity and baby nudity? I mean, at some point he is going to be changing his kids diapers, ya know? I don't mean that as harsh,I just wonder if somehow he hasn't realized the difference. Babies CAN'T be modest....they would have to sit in their own poop for years if they were, lol.

 

Honestly, if a child is young enough to be in diapers he/she is young enough to be naked without worrying about modesty. I mean, that is just the nature of being a baby.

 

:iagree: It's a life skill and what is he going to do when he's a dad? "sorry, honey, I can only change the baby's diaper if it's a boy...you're on your own with any girls"

 

I totally agree that this aunt overreacted. Totally ridiculous.

 

But as a defense of the Mom who said her 13 yr old boy is embarrassed about nudity (not the one in the OP, someone who said her son might be embarrassed but would have left himself), I have a friend who has 6 siblings and has an 11 yr old boy who is somewhat similar. I've seen him quietly leave the room when a toddler or preschooler is running around naked (they have a pool at their house so there are often kids changing). He doesn't make a big deal of it but his Mom had told me he is a little embarrassed. She doesn't make the toddlers hide but respects his modesty. I think that's fine. I also have known him for a long time and he is a great caretaker for all his younger siblings and will make a fabulous Dad. My nephew who is 16 and the youngest in his family also gets a little weirded out when I've changed diapers or our boys have changed in front of him.

 

My husband also was the youngest of 4 and always extremely modest. He had never changed a diaper until our oldest was born. It wasn't modesty so much as just not wanting to do it and not having a lot of need. He admits to having getting really freaked out when his sister breast-fed in front of him and as a young single guy when women breast fed in front of him. He always left the room himself, he didn't think they shouldn't have breast-fed but it did embarrass him. He is now a hands-on Dad who has changed many many diapers, stays home with our kids part-time and is only partly bothered by our kids' tendencies to streak through the house fully nekkid. Mostly he is bothered because we live on a busy street with a huge windows/no curtains. :) I breast-fed in public with him around and totally fine with it. He has no problem when our friends with babies breast-feed in front of him. People can change.

 

So, I think the Aunt in the OP was totally off base. But if a kid in those pre-teen/early teen years seemed embarrassed I would look at it as normal. Some of that is just being awkward with anything to do with the body at that age and they can grow out of it and be a great parent.

Edited May 27, 2011 by Alice

[catz]

I totally agree that this aunt overreacted. Totally ridiculous.

 

But as a defense of the Mom who said her 13 yr old boy is embarrassed about nudity (not the one in the OP, someone who said her son might be embarrassed but would have left himself), I have a friend who has 6 siblings and has an 11 yr old boy who is somewhat similar. I've seen him quietly leave the room when a toddler or preschooler is running around naked (they have a pool at their house so there are often kids changing). He doesn't make a big deal of it but his Mom had told me he is a little embarrassed. She doesn't make the toddlers hide but respects his modesty. I think that's fine. I also have known him for a long time and he is a great caretaker for all his younger siblings and will make a fabulous Dad. My nephew who is 16 and the youngest in his family also gets a little weirded out when I've changed diapers or our boys have changed in front of him.

 

I have a 10 year old who be grossed out by diaper changes at this point in his life. He just hasn't been around that for a while. But I wouldn't ask someone else to make a change to accommodate him. He can move if he doesn't want to watch! We still have young relatives so that has happened.

 

This reaction by the aunt sounds weird to me. Especially at a family gathering in a private home.

[BlsdMama]

Well, on my part it isn't really about your son at all. It's just about modesty and discretion and changing the baby away from others. So, yes, I do change the babies away from their 12 year old brother. And, well, pretty much everyone else. I don't ask him to dress them after baths nor do my sons & daughters bathe together. And I do breastfeed, in public, but I do so modestly. I've nursed eight babies so far and pumped for another and I consider myself a strong advocate for breastfeeding but it drives me batty when mamas pull their shirts down from the top or unbutton them all the way to nurse. It shows a lack of consideration for anyone else's feelings but their own.

Edited May 27, 2011 by BlsdMama

[Jennifer3141]

OP, that is creepy and weird in the level of overreaction. That would make me make sure I NEVER left my kids alone with that family.

[SweetMissMagnolia]

:iagree: weird over-reaction.....

[Stacyandtherugrats]

IMHO, definitely a major overreaction. My parents don't care much for our daughter running around naked but wouldn't have a problem with us changing a diaper in front of a 13 year old boy.

 

It is a shame that is such an issue.

[Wabi Sabi]

Gross overreaction, IMO. I'm on Team Creepy.

[CalicoKat]

We went to my parents home for a shindig recently.

Attendees:

My parents,

My husband, me and our 4 yo son,

My sister, her husband, and her 3 daughters (6, 4, 2).

My (maternal) uncle, his wife and 2 kids (ages 13boy and 12girl).

 

My sis and her husband had to run a quick errand so I offered to keep her kids there with us. The youngest (age 2.5) had a #2 diaper, so I went to change her and realized my sis had driven off with diaper bag. We found a swim diaper, so I took her back to the bathroom and cleaned her (with soap and water) having no wipes and set her down on a towel (having bathed her in sink). She runs out wrapped in the towel into the living room where everyone is gathered. I sit down on the floor (she's still in the towel) with her swim diaper and clothes and I turn her towards me so that her privates are aimed to me but not to the 13 yo boy. (the only males in the room were the 13yo boy and my 4yo son). I proceed to unwrap her and quickly slide on the swim diaper and my mom pipes up, "Maybe we should do this in a more private area?" My age 40 aunt, mother of the 13 year old son, also looks offended. Her son is not even looking our direction and is completely oblivious. It's not like he's a known weirdo/pervert.

 

Again, my little neice's top-of-head is aimed at him and I have the towel loosely over her anyway to keep her warm. So, in response to my mom, I say, "Oh I'm sorry; I didn't think anything of it." To which the 13yo's mom says, "Andrew hasn't seen his sister naked since they were babies." So, taking the cue, I got up with her and left the room to finish getting on her clothes. (It took my milliseconds to slide the swim diaper up in the first place).

 

I wonder what boys of much-younger siblings do in this world seeing their moms breastfeed and other such scandalous activities?!?!?!(sarcasm).

Do you moms with age spans of 13+ years, do you go to such links to keep your daughter's anatomy hidden from the brother?

 

 

I know young men have raging hormones and so I did choose our location with this in mind and aimed her accordingly, but wasn't this enough?

 

In short,

would you have asked me to relocate had this been your 13 year old son?

 

What are your thoughts?

 

I find their response very odd and I would have been hurt.

 

But perhaps there is some concern with the young man that you didn't know about. I guess I would approach your mom from this angle. "Is ________ having sexual issues? Sorry, I didn't realize."

[SailorMom]

I think they are oddballs....

[sparrow]

:iagree:Weird overreaction. My "this is odd" radar would have been going off.

 

I wonder, would they have the same reaction if it was their 13 yo daughter and you were changing their 2 yo son?

[Heatherwith4]

I think they are oddballs....

:iagree:

 

Of course, I have a baby daughter and two older sons. They see her naked regularly and take baths with her. Plus they see me nursing her all. the. time.

[mom2denj]

I truly do not mean to sound insensitive, but reaction would have been, "you have got to be kidding me!!!" she is 2, not 12.

[arghmatey]

Bizarre.

[kchara]

I don't have quite that age span, but I think they way overreacted. I agree with the others who said the baby was 2, not 12. Heaven help that boy when he's a father himself and can't change a diaper.

[*Lulu*]

I find their response very odd and I would have been hurt.

 

But perhaps there is some concern with the young man that you didn't know about. I guess I would approach your mom from this angle. "Is ________ having sexual issues? Sorry, I didn't realize."

 

Umm......I'm thinking if they reacted badly to the situation in the OP the above approach would fly like a lead balloon. :tongue_smilie:

[blakereese]

Way overreaction.

 

 

:iagree:

 

It wouldn't be a family gathering without all the fun. ;)

 

And man, these people would NOT want to ever be at my house!! :lol::lol:

[twoforjoy]

Umm......I'm thinking if they reacted badly to the situation in the OP the above approach would fly like a lead balloon. :tongue_smilie:

 

That was my initial thought, too, but honestly, if they respond that way in front of most people, that's exactly the conclusion most people would jump to: that there is something going on with their DS sexually that means he shouldn't be around even a very young child's diaper change. I'm assuming that isn't the impression they want to give, and it might be helpful for them to know that that is a thought that would occur to most people if they respond that way.

[Word Nerd]

It's just about modesty and discretion and changing the baby away from others.

 

The OP is the child's aunt and is no more the baby's mother than any of the other people who were in the room. By that logic, why isn't it considered immodest for her to be changing her niece's diaper in the first place?

Edited May 27, 2011 by WordGirl

[vonfirmath]

Honestly, I'd have been questioning the using of a SWIM diaper instead of the 13-yr boy in the room!

 

Did you at least put a plastic "pull up cover" over it or something?

[twoforjoy]

Is it really immodest or indiscreet, in any absolute sense, to change a baby in the presence of other people? I don't know, I think that's kind of taking what might be a cultural expectation in some settings and elevating it to a moral mandate.

[Tap]

My family is very, very private. Nudity, was only behind closed doors and as brief as you can get.

 

OT.....You didn't even speak of body functions in my home. No sex ed. No changing body talks. No discussions unless it required a visit to the dr. I can remember a few times when I should have told my mother something medical was going on, and didn't. I even started going to the gyn on my own without my mother knowing (there was a medical center that treated teens for free by our high school). Everything I knew about my body and sex came from sex-ed in school.

 

I do not raise my kids this way. I was the girl in gym class who changed in the bathroom stall. I don't know what I would have done if we had to take showers. I was very very embarrassed about my body growing up and I didn't want my kids raised that way.

 

All 3 of my kids have spent a significant amount of time naked (typically their bottoms are covered) until the age of 4 or so. Even out side in the back yard, I am fine with it.

 

DD12's best friend, is one of 3 girls. She is always appalled when she shes dd4 running around without a shirt on. Seriously appalled. So, I guess that there are families who are still hyper vigilant about it. I am surprised for her, since she is the baby of 3 girls. The only boy in the house is the father.

[m0mmaBuck]

I find their response very odd and I would have been hurt.

 

But perhaps there is some concern with the young man that you didn't know about. I guess I would approach your mom from this angle. "Is ________ having sexual issues? Sorry, I didn't realize."

 

:iagree:

 

I never gave any thought to changing DD in front of DSS (who is 14 years older than her). Actually, he used to change her diaper. Perhaps the problem is with the young man and not truly with the OP.

[Cindy in FL.]

I have not read all the posts in this thread. I have 4 boys at home and watchg my grandchildren 3 days per week. I always change my granddaughter in private, away from the boys. I do it out of an abundance of caution and to protect her modesty. I don't think my boys are having any sexual issues that require I do it to protect her or them.

[sparrow]

I have not read all the posts in this thread. I have 4 boys at home and watchg my grandchildren 3 days per week. I always change my granddaughter in private, away from the boys. I do it out of an abundance of caution and to protect her modesty. I don't think my boys are having any sexual issues that require I do it to protect her or them.

 

I'm curious. If the genders were reversed, you had 4 daughters and were changing your grandson, would you do the same?

[Night Elf]

To which the mom of 13yo said, "Since you're not sending him to school, you can just keep wiping his butt til he's 18 if you want." Another homeschooling slam. Let's just say her and my personalities are 180 to say the least.

 

See, at that point I would have looked her directly in the eyes and told her 'Wow, you're just not a nice person at all, are you?'

[Jean in Newcastle]

Honestly, I'd have been questioning the using of a SWIM diaper instead of the 13-yr boy in the room!

 

Did you at least put a plastic "pull up cover" over it or something?

 

Why? This is an honest question. The child was sitting in poop. The diaper bag had been taken by the mother. The only thing she had was a swim diaper. This was a stopgap measure to keep the toddler dry and hygienic until the mother came home.

[vonfirmath]

Why? This is an honest question. The child was sitting in poop. The diaper bag had been taken by the mother. The only thing she had was a swim diaper. This was a stopgap measure to keep the toddler dry and hygienic until the mother came home.

 

Because swim diapers don't keep in pee. If she pees it will trickle down her legs and get all over anywhere she is.

 

I'd have found a T-shirt/burp cloth and made a homemade diaper that might absorb the pee. Maybe using the swim diaper as a "Cover"

 

(receiving blankets can also be used for a makeshift diapers. And plastic grocery bags as a makeshift "cover" with duct tape to keep it all on.

 

ETA: And been kind of annoyed at mom for not leaving any diapers behind.

Edited May 27, 2011 by vonfirmath

[Jean in Newcastle]

Because swim diapers don't keep in pee. If she pees it will trickle down her legs and get all over anywhere she is.

 

I'd have found a T-shirt/burp cloth and made a homemade diaper that might absorb the pee. Maybe using the swim diaper as a "Cover"

 

Really? So when I'm in the pool with babies in swim diapers. . . :ack2:

[AndyJoy]

Really? So when I'm in the pool with babies in swim diapers. . . :ack2:

 

Yep, pee is sterile. Still gross to think about, though.

[Mynyel]

Myself? I woulda said "Why?" and made them rationalize it to me then point out the fallacy in their logic.

[justamouse]

I have a three-year-old streaker too. :glare: Her new nickname is "Peaches" :lol: because she keeps flashing them. Sigh. She knows better. She just does not care, lol.

 

ALL my kids were nudists. :lol: I had to ask the neighbor across the street if she was OK with nude babies running outside and she was fine with it and told me she did the same with her kids.

 

I remember once when my son's friend came to pick him up he idled his car in the driveway and deadpanned, "Yo, you have a herd of naked babies in your yard." :tongue_smilie:

[SonshineLearner]

She is a baby (2.5).... and kids that age are fine running around naked to me... also, I don't hide the bottom of my bre*st while nursing... since it is doing it's job... while the the top (being exposed) at Victoria's Secret.... is not...

[mhg]

Yeah, it all depends on what you're used to. DS was breastfed until he was 2, and he watched me breastfeed his sister. Most of my friends breastfeed, and don't leave the room when they do so if we're together, so it's just normal to him to see a woman breastfeeding a baby, and he really doesn't pay any more attention to it than some other kids might pay to a baby being bottlefed.

 

But, my family was absolutely scandalized by the idea that I didn't go into a room by myself every time I breastfed my kids. In general, when I was visiting with them, I would, because it made everybody so uncomfortable, but the reason it made everybody so uncomfortable was because I was the only person in the family to breastfeed for a very long time. My grandmothers did, but none of their children did, and none of my cousins did. So it was just something people weren't used to seeing at all.

 

That tends to make me think that most people's shocked/scandalized/offended reactions to breastfeeding are mainly because they have just never seen it before. And that's sad. I have no problem with bottle-feeding--I weaned DD at 10 months because it was just too draining and painful for me to keep nursing her while pregnant, and she's been happily bottle-fed since then--but I do think it's sad that in some settings breastfeeding is so rare that it's something many people have never even seen before. Honestly, I don't think I saw anybody breastfeeding the entire time I was growing up--not until I went to grad school and had friends who breastfed their babies--because everybody I knew bottle-fed.

 

I nursed my son for 2.5 years. On my side of the family, breastfeeding wasn't as big of a deal (though they did think I bf too long), but on my husband's side, where NO ONE breastfed, oh the flack I got (and I was discreet using a cover, etc.) and didn't often need to do it around them (but there were 2 or 3 times where I did).

[stripe]

I wouldn't have brought her to a common area to put on the diaper, but there's an easy solution to this -- hand her to someone else when she's poopy and they can deal with it.

[QuirkyKapers]

Dd has walked in the house after preschool, heard the door shut, and said with a gusty sigh, "Now I can get NEKKID!" Which she promptly did.

 

:lol: Too funny.... I wouldn't have thought anything changing a diaper in front of a teen.

[mhg]

Because swim diapers don't keep in pee. If she pees it will trickle down her legs and get all over anywhere she is.

 

I'd have found a T-shirt/burp cloth and made a homemade diaper that might absorb the pee. Maybe using the swim diaper as a "Cover"

 

(receiving blankets can also be used for a makeshift diapers. And plastic grocery bags as a makeshift "cover" with duct tape to keep it all on.

 

ETA: And been kind of annoyed at mom for not leaving any diapers behind.

 

My neice was potty training and only had the accident as we had been at a new place and her mom couldn't remind her as often. her mom had driven off on her quick errand and ACCIDENTILY took the diaper bag. It was no biggie. I'll keep all these emergency diapering solutions in mind.

[mhg]

Can't imagine what they'd have thought the one time I had to breastfeed my neice to help us all get out the door. My sister's 2nd-born daughter is 4 months younger than my son, so we (sis and I) had breast babies at the same time. (this isn't the neice who's diaper I changed...she's #3).

 

One day we went up to her house for this daughter's baby dedication at church and, since she wouldn't take a pacifier or drink formula, my sister decided to pump her a bottle (since she wouldn't breastfeed, even discreetly/covered at church, -- which is her preference) in case she got fussy during the ceremony. So we drove up the 2 hour drive to her house, we get to her house and she's running late for church and her 2 year's running amuck (her husband was already at church teaching) and she's resurrected this breast pump and has it affixed to her breasts and is pumping away in the living room. (no men are at the house this time). The baby is screaming away and hungry and my sister's fretting that we're going to be late as she's still got to nurse her before we go and she's not even done pumping yet. So, I ponder and say, "Do you think she'll let me nurse her?" My sister, surprised but desperate, say, "You think she will?" So I sit down (my 6 month old son's asleep) and she latches right on a tanks up in 5 minutes flat (she wasn't a leisurely diner like my kid).

So, it sped us along as my sister finished up within that time and VIOLA' we're on our way.

 

The funny part of this story was that my sister's mother-in-law (in her late 60s) showed up and didn't knock (or we didn't hear her) to pick up my sister's 2 year old, walks in and sees me nursing (exposed) the neice and my sister hooked up to the bilateral breast pump and says, "OH MY GOODNESS! I HAVE LIVED TO SEE IT ALL!". :lol::lol::lol:

 

Sounds strange, but we did it the once.

My dad's aunt breastfeed him for 6 months along with his first cousin (he was very sickly and his mom had trouble with bf'ing).

[WarriorMama]

I think it's weird to make such a big deal out of it. I have an even weirder one, though - we were at a huge family Christmas party, in a really small house. My cousin's fiancee FREAKED out when her 2yo daughter walked into the room where my 2yo son was finishing getting his diaper changed. Full out rushing over, scooping up the daughter and saying as loudly as possible, "YOU DON'T NEED TO SEE THAT!!!"

 

My shocked husband, who was doing the diaper change, assured her that the diaper was already on and the child hadn't 'seen anything'. But really...freaking out because a toddler might see another toddler getting a diaper change? I'd never seen anything like it. It was the first time I ever met this lady, and I confess it made me think of her as kind of an oddball. :tongue_smilie:

[mommaduck]

Can't imagine what they'd have thought the one time I had to breastfeed my neice to help us all get out the door. My sister's 2nd-born daughter is 4 months younger than my son, so we (sis and I) had breast babies at the same time. (this isn't the neice who's diaper I changed...she's #3).

 

One day we went up to her house for this daughter's baby dedication at church and, since she wouldn't take a pacifier or drink formula, my sister decided to pump her a bottle (since she wouldn't breastfeed, even discreetly/covered at church, -- which is her preference) in case she got fussy during the ceremony. So we drove up the 2 hour drive to her house, we get to her house and she's running late for church and her 2 year's running amuck (her husband was already at church teaching) and she's resurrected this breast pump and has it affixed to her breasts and is pumping away in the living room. (no men are at the house this time). The baby is screaming away and hungry and my sister's fretting that we're going to be late as she's still got to nurse her before we go and she's not even done pumping yet. So, I ponder and say, "Do you think she'll let me nurse her?" My sister, surprised but desperate, say, "You think she will?" So I sit down (my 6 month old son's asleep) and she latches right on a tanks up in 5 minutes flat (she wasn't a leisurely diner like my kid).

So, it sped us along as my sister finished up within that time and VIOLA' we're on our way.

 

The funny part of this story was that my sister's mother-in-law (in her late 60s) showed up and didn't knock (or we didn't hear her) to pick up my sister's 2 year old, walks in and sees me nursing (exposed) the neice and my sister hooked up to the bilateral breast pump and says, "OH MY GOODNESS! I HAVE LIVED TO SEE IT ALL!". :lol::lol::lol:

 

Sounds strange, but we did it the once.

My dad's aunt breastfeed him for 6 months along with his first cousin (he was very sickly and his mom had trouble with bf'ing).

LOL! I have pumped for a friend (would have nursed the babe, but the mother was truly having trouble with her milk supply and I was afraid of causing an emotional situation even though the mama asked me to pump or nurse for her baby). A friend of mine had to emergency nurse an infant she was babysitting (the baby was breastfed, there was no formula, and the parents were STUCK for hours in DC traffic during some crazy incident). She apologetically told the mama when they finally got home, but she didn't know what else to do with a crying, hungry baby. The mama laughed and said something to the effect of how funny the turn around was, "a white woman wet nursing a black baby" :lol: I thought it was very sweet that the mother was cool with it. My SIL informed me that even in an emergency, I better never try to nurse her babies, because it's just too freaky for her (more of a possessive thing, as though it would be like "stealing" her babies...of course, knowing how they are, I'd probably feel the same if she ever tried to nurse mine...though I'd have no problem with any of my friends nursing my babies if it was needed).

[fairfarmhand]

The mama laughed and said something to the effect of how funny the turn around was, "a white woman wet nursing a black baby" :lol: I thought it was very sweet that the mother was cool with it. .

That is funny!

 

It is awesome she was a good sport about it!

[ravinlunachick]

 

 

 

 

I know young men have raging hormones and so I did choose our location with this in mind and aimed her accordingly, but wasn't this enough?

 

 

 

EW. That sentence seriously squicks me out. Teenage boys have raging hormones for teenage girls and women, not 2.5 year olds! If it had been a 12 year old niece naked from the waist down in the middle of the living room, I could understand the concern. But a toddler? :confused:

[Natalieclare]

I totally agree that this aunt overreacted. Totally ridiculous.

 

But as a defense of the Mom who said her 13 yr old boy is embarrassed about nudity (not the one in the OP, someone who said her son might be embarrassed but would have left himself), I have a friend who has 6 siblings and has an 11 yr old boy who is somewhat similar. I've seen him quietly leave the room when a toddler or preschooler is running around naked (they have a pool at their house so there are often kids changing). He doesn't make a big deal of it but his Mom had told me he is a little embarrassed. She doesn't make the toddlers hide but respects his modesty. I think that's fine. I also have known him for a long time and he is a great caretaker for all his younger siblings and will make a fabulous Dad. My nephew who is 16 and the youngest in his family also gets a little weirded out when I've changed diapers or our boys have changed in front of him.

 

My husband also was the youngest of 4 and always extremely modest. He had never changed a diaper until our oldest was born. It wasn't modesty so much as just not wanting to do it and not having a lot of need. He admits to having getting really freaked out when his sister breast-fed in front of him and as a young single guy when women breast fed in front of him. He always left the room himself, he didn't think they shouldn't have breast-fed but it did embarrass him. He is now a hands-on Dad who has changed many many diapers, stays home with our kids part-time and is only partly bothered by our kids' tendencies to streak through the house fully nekkid. Mostly he is bothered because we live on a busy street with a huge windows/no curtains. :) I breast-fed in public with him around and totally fine with it. He has no problem when our friends with babies breast-feed in front of him. People can change.

 

So, I think the Aunt in the OP was totally off base. But if a kid in those pre-teen/early teen years seemed embarrassed I would look at it as normal. Some of that is just being awkward with anything to do with the body at that age and they can grow out of it and be a great parent.

 

Thank you! I am the aforementioned mom. I fully expect my son to be like your husband, but on the later side. He is just a late bloomer and he develops in pendulum swings. He streaked waaaaay past the normal age of streakers, then when his sense of modesty hit--it reallyreallyreally kicked in. I expect him to moderate in a few years. He pretty much develops that way across the board. Our family culture sounds similar to yours, with such a helpful dad. So, I think this [meaning the helpful dad thing] will be very defining for him once he sheds this particular over-modest thing.

Edited May 27, 2011 by Natalieclare

[Slartibartfast]

I find it ridiculous, if I had a relative that was a 13 year old boy I would have let him babysit if I had a baby daughter. That would likely involve a change or even a bath depending on the situation.

 

We can't seem to keep clothing on my nearly three year old. I assure you my ten year old daughter is not "damaged" because she has seen my son's penis.

 

:lol:

[Mejane]

Wow. I see serious counseling in someone's future. Poor kid.

[mhg]

LOL! I have pumped for a friend (would have nursed the babe, but the mother was truly having trouble with her milk supply and I was afraid of causing an emotional situation even though the mama asked me to pump or nurse for her baby). A friend of mine had to emergency nurse an infant she was babysitting (the baby was breastfed, there was no formula, and the parents were STUCK for hours in DC traffic during some crazy incident). She apologetically told the mama when they finally got home, but she didn't know what else to do with a crying, hungry baby. The mama laughed and said something to the effect of how funny the turn around was, "a white woman wet nursing a black baby" :lol: I thought it was very sweet that the mother was cool with it. .

 

That's PRICELESS!!!

[Joanne]

A year before my youngest spent 1.5 years wearning nothing but a Spider Man costume, he was naked. Constantly naked at home, and anywhere else I'd allow.

 

A UPS driver once came by, and he was running around behind me, playing. She was horrified. "Did you know he's naked!"

 

Me: "Yes. I'd be surprised if he had clothes on."

[saraha]

The funny part of this story was that my sister's mother-in-law (in her late 60s) showed up and didn't knock (or we didn't hear her) to pick up my sister's 2 year old, walks in and sees me nursing (exposed) the neice and my sister hooked up to the bilateral breast pump and says, "OH MY GOODNESS! I HAVE LIVED TO SEE IT ALL!". :lol::lol::lol:

 

TOO funny!

[happi duck]

Well, on my part it isn't really about your son at all. It's just about modesty and discretion and changing the baby away from others. So, yes, I do change the babies away from their 12 year old brother. And, well, pretty much everyone else. I don't ask him to dress them after baths nor do my sons & daughters bathe together. And I do breastfeed, in public, but I do so modestly. I've nursed eight babies so far and pumped for another and I consider myself a strong advocate for breastfeeding but it drives me batty when mamas pull their shirts down from the top or unbutton them all the way to nurse. It shows a lack of consideration for anyone else's feelings but their own.

 

:iagree: esp bolded