I could really use some honest feedback (having a bad day)

[Deece in MN]

We are having a bad start to our day and I feel myself harboring a not good attitude.

The background is that my dc want to homeschool, but I am not sure I do anymore.

I am tired of choosing curriculum, planning our days, trying to plan the high school years, making sure my dc are being challenged, preparing them for the future, etc. I want to give the responsibility to someone else because I am feeling overwhelmed with all of it.

Today it was the straw that broke the camel's back because it is one of those days where it seems my dc's brains have left the building.

 

Anyway, honestly, what would you do if your dc had absolutely no desire to go to ps, but you were feeling burned out and not sure you could continue hs'ing productively?

 

I can give my dc work and they could continue on their paths, but they wouldn't be challenged because my heart is not in it. I think they would end up not as well prepared as they could be. I don't want them to go to ps for a number of reasons, but man, I am just plain tired of it all.

 

I need some perspective or maybe just a sympathetic ear, I don't know. I just know that things can't keep going this way. What can I do to change my attitude? How can I get the spark back to continue and enjoy hs'ing? I haven't talked to any of my irl friends about this because they think I have it all together. I guess I put up a good front. I do this though to try and get myself to believe that everything is ok, but deep down I know that it is not.

 

Sorry to babble on, I just needed to get this off my chest.

Thanks!

[Jean in Newcastle]

It is the end of the year and I think this kind of burn out is pretty common. I don't know if ps or homeschool is best for your family but I think you need some kind of a break BEFORE you make the decision. Can you sign them up for a summer camp to give yourself a break? Are your kids old enough and is the weather suitable for just turning them outside for long periods of time right now so that you get a break? Can you brainstorm with dh or a close friend or sister on some ways to get a break?

[WTMindy]

If we (dh and I) no longer thought homeschooling was the best choice for our kids, I wouldn't do it, despite what they wanted. In the same vein, if we thought it best to homeschool and they didn't want to, I would still do it. I'm sorry you are feeling so burnt out right now. Maybe you'll feel better after a little summer break or maybe you'll decide that putting them in school is a good option. What does your dh say about the matter?

[Elaine]

If we (dh and I) no longer thought homeschooling was the best choice for our kids, I wouldn't do it, despite what they wanted. In the same vein, if we thought it best to homeschool and they didn't want to, I would still do it. I'm sorry you are feeling so burnt out right now. Maybe you'll feel better after a little summer break or maybe you'll decide that putting them in school is a good option. What does your dh say about the matter?

 

I agree with my good friend Mindy.:001_smile:

 

Deece.:grouphug: Take a nice long break. Do some things for yourself. Go for a walk. Go to Barnes and Noble, get a coffee and sit with a good book. I really am sorry that you are feeling so frustrated.

[Jugglin'5]

Almost everyone I know, at least the ones who work really hard at homeschooling, is burned out right now. I just want to get through the last few weeks of coop without melting into a puddle. I think this is fairly normal.

 

On the other hand, if this is burnout beyond the normal, perhaps a year of just doing math, free reading, and copywork, in other words a relaxed year, is what the doctor has ordered. At least for the youngers.

[Diana in OR]

If we (dh and I) no longer thought homeschooling was the best choice for our kids, I wouldn't do it, despite what they wanted.

 

This past October, I enrolled my 9th grader in ps. He absolutely did not want to go, but dh and felt it was the best choice for him for a variety of reasons I won't go into now. After a couple weeks adjustment, he really settled in, is doing well, and I don't think wild horses could bring him back home at this point. (Note to self: It is better to have a high schooler start ps at the beginning of the school year instead of plunking him down 6 weeks into the semester!)

 

I was where you are a few years ago, when my boys were elementary school age. One thing that helped me a lot was gaining some perspective. For a long time, I wouldn't consider ps and option, and private school was too expensive, so I felt STUCK homeschooling. When I finally relaxed a bit and allowed myself to consider ps as an option, hsing became a *choice* and it gave me some motivation and momentum, even though I still didn't think I'd ever send my dc to ps.

[Peek a Boo]

I am tired of choosing curriculum, planning our days, trying to plan the high school years, making sure my dc are being challenged, preparing them for the future, etc. I want to give the responsibility to someone else because I am feeling overwhelmed with all of it.

 

........

Anyway, honestly, what would you do if your dc had absolutely no desire to go to ps, but you were feeling burned out and not sure you could continue hs'ing productively?

 

I can give my dc work and they could continue on their paths, but they wouldn't be challenged because my heart is not in it. I think they would end up not as well prepared as they could be. I don't want them to go to ps for a number of reasons, but man, I am just plain tired of it all.

 

I need some perspective or maybe just a sympathetic ear, I don't know. I just know that things can't keep going this way. What can I do to change my attitude? How can I get the spark back to continue and enjoy hs'ing? I haven't talked to any of my irl friends about this because they think I have it all together. I guess I put up a good front. I do this though to try and get myself to believe that everything is ok, but deep down I know that it is not.

 

Sorry to babble on, I just needed to get this off my chest.

Thanks!

 

well, i agree with everyone else that you certainly don't need to decide NOW :)

 

 

i homeschool for social reasons -- i don't want to subject my dc to the negative social carp that is passed off a "normal kid stuff" in an institutional setting. For ME, the social reasons outweigh any academic ones. They can always catch up on academics; trying to overcome bad bad social models that were ingrained daily can hinder one quite a bit. Sending them school doesn't guarantee they'll end up as well-prepared as you want them to be either ;)

 

You mentioned high school..... hw old are your kiddos?

are they involved in any group or outside activities at the moment? Scouts? Church? Sports? Music? some other lessons?

 

There is a "Lifestyle of Learning" log for homeschoolers that you might find to be a nice compromise: if they want to continue homeschooling, they need to log their learning experiences. It's not as structured as stuff like WTM, but if you truly have strong reasons for homeschooling, the dc want to homeschool, and you can consider a change in HOW they are homeschooled, it can work well.

 

I tend to focus on one or two academic areas for each of my kids. Everything else is gravy :) This last year was math/documentation, penmanship/ spelling, and beginning reading/ penmanship. Since my dc are also all involved in Boy Scouts, TKD, and a co-op, I have decided to be content w/ whatever they learn from those areas as well. i make sure reading, writing, and arithmetic are covered in the mornings, and afternoons are open for other activities.

 

At this point, you might consider a "deal" with them: they have to read aloud a story to each other each day and write down What they read and Who listened. They have to play a [board?] game that involves points and/or money each day. Scrabble is great :) AND --They need to copy X number of sentences each day. i would choose something like A Beka's Oral Language Exercises --they can read those aloud to each other, copy the sentences, and get some good learning in too :)

 

Watching a scientific youtube or video can count.

Playing an educational computer game can count.

 

If you'd like, PM me and i'd be willing to type up a nifty little checklist so they can just fill in blanks and check off what they do.

 

either way, good luck!!

[Deece in MN]

Thanks for the support; it really means a lot to me. :)

 

I do have the kids signed up for community ed. classes in June, so I will have a break for pretty much the whole month there. I think that will help.

 

As far as my dh goes, well, he doesn't really have anything to say. He is a great provider and supporter as far as that he doesn't mind if I go out somewhere by myself for breaks, but he doesn't really listen to my concerns/issues and that is hard.

 

I would like to take a relaxed year, but my ds is heading into 9th grade and dd will be 7th and I am feeling the crunch of preparing them for high school and beyond. I am afraid if we relax too much we will lose time and will have to make up for it later by worker longer and harder.

 

I guess I will hold in there until June and then use that month to really consider what will be best for everyone.

 

Again, thank you all so much for the support. I really needed a sympathetic ear right now. You guys are great! :grouphug:

[Peek a Boo]

As far as my dh goes, well, he doesn't really have anything to say. He is a great provider and supporter as far as that he doesn't mind if I go out somewhere by myself for breaks, but he doesn't really listen to my concerns/issues and that is hard.

 

.....

 

I would like to take a relaxed year, but my ds is heading into 9th grade and dd will be 7th and I am feeling the crunch of preparing them for high school and beyond. I am afraid if we relax too much we will lose time and will have to make up for it later by worker longer and harder.

 

My dh is the same way!

 

Do you know what your rising 9th grader's college aspirations are? I agree that they still need to cover the basics, but note that most state standards aren't that high ;) You should still be able to take a "relaxed" year and begin readying them for the rigor of higher courses. Documentation is EVERYTHING in high school. I'm gonna get the planbook/ student book from NARHS.com for mine.

 

good luck-

[Deece in MN]

My dh is the same way!

 

Do you know what your rising 9th grader's college aspirations are? I agree that they still need to cover the basics, but note that most state standards aren't that high ;) You should still be able to take a "relaxed" year and begin readying them for the rigor of higher courses. Documentation is EVERYTHING in high school. I'm gonna get the planbook/ student book from NARHS.com for mine.

 

good luck-

 

Thanks, Peek, for your ideas. No, he doesn't know what he wants to do. He is willing to go to college, but doesn't have a direction as far as what area/field to study. He would also be just as happy not going to college. We are not going to push him into it, but I still want him prepared in case he decides to take that path.

 

I have been trying to think of other ways to approach high school, but with being overwhelmed as it is I just am not getting far.

 

The thing is, is that the problem is mine. My dc like to learn and will do whatever I give them. I am just having a hard time motivating myself to be involved and excited about the whole process.

 

I do think a break is in order and hopefully that will give me time to refresh and renew.

 

The thought of record keeping for high school makes me want to run for the hills screaming all the way. :D

 

I have lots to think and reflect on.

[Sasharowan]

There are some places online that will do the documenting for you. My oldest is going into 7th so I'm not too familiar with them, but I know friends with older kids have mentioned that there are places like that.

[Aubrey]

Deece,

 

What about doing a yr of boxed curric, to give yourself a break from the planning? Some places incl. record-keeping w/ that. They you'd know that your dc were a) covering the basics & b) being held to standards. Then, as your energy/creativity re-emerge, you could add to that as you feel able. OR at the end of a yr, if your heart still isn't in it, you could consider ps, pr sch, or continuing the boxed curric--whichever is best for your family.

 

Just some thoughts. My dc are little, but I did *all* of these options when I was in highschool. I even hs'ed myself for a yr. Not that I rec. that, just that it's poss.

 

:grouphug:

[8filltheheart]

Deece,

 

I wish I could say I don't have a clue what you are talking about, but I have been there way too many times! Homeschooling is extremely hard work as your kids get older and the commitment is huge. I have 3 weeks worth of my dd's writing assignments sitting the kitchen that I really need to read (but I really don't want to!)

Normally, this is our last week of school. It's depressing me b/c we have about a month left.

 

Sometimes it helps me to sit down and take a realistic view of what we covered during the yr. I was feeling very upset about how far we have gotten in history b/c between moving and medical issues, we haven't gotten as far as I wanted. HOwever, this morning I was assessing it and we have covered over 1000 yrs and they have a very solid understanding of the middle ages. I think by the end of the month that we will meet our goals.

 

Have you thought about outsourcing? I am outsourcing via internet almost all of my rising 9th grader's classes next yr. I really struggled with the decision b/c she is so easy going and a joy to school. However, this has been an incredibly stressful yr and school is sucking up all my energy. I want to be able to really enjoy my little guys and have more fun with them. Time is my biggest limiting factor and outsourcing is really the only viable option.

 

BTW.....my oldest was adament about not going to school even though I thought he would like ti. I am glad we didn't send him in hindsight b/c dual enrollment was a perfect fit for him. (wish I had done that earlier) Sending our 10th grader to school (again against his wishes) has been good for him. Academically I am definitely not satisfied, but emotionally he is thriving (and he has a lot of esteem/depression/issues).

 

I encourage you to take some time for yourself. Give yourself some time to treat this as burnout and time to recover. I wouldn't make any firm decisions until after a you have given yourself some time to recover.

[Julie Herbster]

:grouphug: Here's some more support :grouphug: from someone who has been to the point of burnout as recently as last week. I just decided to end school for the present. Dc and I had worked hard for nine months. They had finished all of their core curriculum. I just decided to be done with this year even though (gasp!) there were a few spelling and Latin lessons left at the end of the book. We'll continue reading together (history), and I'll sit and enjoy hearing my 5yo dd read to me daily, but other than that, I'm done for now. (We'll start all of the summer stuff--library reading programs, maintenance work, etc.--in a few weeks.)

[5webblets]

Maybe she's still around here... I haven't been lately so I don't know... but when she decided to put her younger kids in school this year after the twins graduated she was saying ( I think) a lot of what you are saying... I don't know if the archives go back that far to the old board, but maybe you could google search that?

Sorry, I'm not more help than that, except to say it IS the end of the year and besides February, that's my #1 burnout time!

Hang in there!

Lindsay

[Just a Jen in Mississippi]

The advice and support you've already received is wonderful, so I don't have a whole lot to add. But I did want to comment that I too have felt burn-out. If someone ever were to ask me if I'd ever choose to put my kids in ps, I'd say "NO WAY!", but honestly, between me and you:001_smile:, I have been so exhausted with it at times, that I have thought about it. I've told my dh once that I couldn't take it anymore and that I wanted to put my oldest in ps. I wasn't actually at the point of doing it, but it was more of a cry for help.

 

This year, what has helped me more than anything is planning my year in a way that helps ME! I tend to get antsy and bored. I like to paint and be creative. I also need time to focus on the house or just to regroup. So, I planned a schedule where we school for 6 weeks and then take a week off. On my week off, I do report cards for the kids and update my lesson plans for the next 6 weeks. Then we do whatever we want that week. The important thing for me is to have the freedom from the monotonous routine. I need breaks like this and I can't live for spring break or summer break every year. It's really given me motivation knowing that week is coming. You might want to think of something similar that will work for you. I do have to start my year a bit earlier to make sure I fit 36 weeks of schooling in, but it's been a great thing for us.

 

I wish you the best of luck. You are not alone!:001_smile:

[Rosie_0801]

I'd take a holiday then start teaching the kids how to mark each others work. I'm sure they can mark each other's maths easily enough if you have the teacher's manual with answers. Then all they need to do is report their score to you. If they've been learning grammar and spelling all this time, they shouldn't find it hard to mark each other's writing too. It's a very useful skill to have. Marking your own writing is nearly impossible, but marking other's sort of trains you to see the mistakes in your own work. Can you make some curriculum changes to focus more on the journey than the destination? Perhaps science can be done together so the commentary between the kids is enough for you to be sure they understand what's going on? You can listen to what they are saying from the kitchen or wherever you need to be. Can they take responsibility for writing a "School Shopping List?" They make sure they borrow the needed books from the library, or have a list prepared of art supplies ready on shopping day?

Ideas...

Rosie

[Deece in MN]

Again, thank you all so much for the support and ideas. I am jotting them down so I can refer to them when I take a break and evaluate where we are at and where we are going.

 

Today has been a better day than yesterday. Last night I went to a beautiful dinner put on by a homeschool mom whose dc are out of the house. She wants to support and encourage moms who are still in the trenches. There were 20 of us there (it is a Catholic group that we joined recently who have welcomed us in with open arms, they are just wonderful!) and we were served a delicious 4-course meal. It really helped to calm me down a bit and I feel so much better today (I still have things to work through, but I think this will help me get through the rest of this month anyway).

 

I have to find out some more specifics, but we may join a co-op this fall as a way of outsourcing some classes.

 

Anyway, I just wanted to give a quick update. I do feel better today and I thank you all for helping me. :grouphug:

 

Peace