New to the group - Asperger's/hfa sons - negative attitude

[Angela13]

Hi, im new, and hope this is the right place to introduce myself. Im Angela, married to Phil, we have two boys, Jakeb(10) with HFA/Asperger's and Matthew (7) who unofficially but certainly has Asperger's too.

 

My eldest has a really negative attitude to everything, initially, even if it is something he likes, he always reacts negatively at first. I find it really frustrating and draining dealing with the negativity all day long. It doesnt seem to matter if he knows it is coming or not - so i dont think it is an inflexibilty issue.Once he starts his work/task and gets going he is fine and copes very well with his grade 4 work and excels at history and reading which he loves! He loves the bath but always has to have a good moan first with these sorts of things too.

Does anyone else have this problem and do you have any advice?

Thanks

Angela

(mom to ...ahh no... not maths... im too sick... i dont want to...meanie..)

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

Hi. My 8 yr. old has Asperger's, and is often negative at the beginning of work. However, since I've explained the long term goals and reasons behind doing these things, it seems to have helped a little. I've sat him down and said, "When you are an adult, do you want to have your own house? Your own car? Do you want to get married and have kids? Go on vacations? All these things cost lots of money. You need to be able to have a job that will allow you to make enough money to support yourself and your family. In order to get a job, you need to know how to read, how to do math, how to think, how to write, etc. We are doing all these things in school so that you will be able to get a job when you grow up and be able to take care of yourself."

 

For some reason, this really worked for my son. I just have to remind him of it when he starts complaining, and it usually helps.

[heart'sjoy]

I like the idea of a previous poster who made a rule chart with consequences for each child.

 

Once mine were old enough, one of their rules was to do what they are asked with answers of "yes" or "I will."

 

One ds currency was time out, one son's currency was computer time.

 

It's been a long slow process.

[Angela13]

Thanks for the advice :001_smile: I will give it all a try.

[kht2006]

Have you tried video modeling? My DD has a hard time getting started too. I video her, getting started and doing her work well....sometimes it takes several...several movie shoots to get it right. Now with the tasks I know will result in complaints. We start with watching the movie on my cell phone. Then she can get started with less complaining... works great for chores too. She is quite a ham so she does great on camara. The cuddle in my lap part to watch the movie is calming too....

[Angela13]

Thanks, that's a great idea! He loves watching himself on screen too. I think that will also tie in with RDI - creating episodic/autobiographical memories. (positive memories) Thanks again - will start taking clips tomorrow. :001_smile:

[huntchaos]

Have you tried video modeling? My DD has a hard time getting started too. I video her, getting started and doing her work well....sometimes it takes several...several movie shoots to get it right. Now with the tasks I know will result in complaints. We start with watching the movie on my cell phone. Then she can get started with less complaining... works great for chores too. She is quite a ham so she does great on camara. The cuddle in my lap part to watch the movie is calming too....

 

Love this idea!