Writing Strands Level 3, Lesson 4, 9 yo dd

[MelissaMinNC]

Per WS, the goals of this assignment are:

Skill: Description

1.Organize what you will describe

2. Describe in sentences what a friend looks like

 

This is 9 yo dd's final draft. We started Writing Strands in January, but we haven't done it every week. Any glaring problems that I should be working on with her? I really have no idea how to teach or evaluate writing assignments, but I did work with dd through an outline stage and rough draft. (Paragraphs won't indent, so I separated with extra line spacing.)

 

Thanks!

Melissa

 

 

My Fun Friend

 

 

 

Jane Doe is my best friend in the fourth grade. She lives in City, State.

 

Jane is average height. She is shorter than I am by half an inch. Jane is thinner than I am because she nibbles a tiny bit of this and that for the whole meal.

 

Jane’s skin is a light, slightly tan color. It is kind of shadowed, even when she is in the sun. Jane’s hair is straight and flips at the ends. It is the color of freshly baked brownies. It gets blond highlights when she is in the sun. Jane’s eyes are brown, and always have a look of intense concentration.

 

She loves Girl Scouts, choir, math and riding her bike. She is homeschooled, and she is good at it and willing to do it. Her favorite TV shows are “Electric Company†and “The Cosby Show.â€

 

There are a couple of fun facts about Jane that I would like to share. For instance, she only reacts to big things, or only when she finds it necessary, which I find amusing partly because that is so different from the way I react.

[Penelope]

I have done some of WS3 with my son, and I thought that lesson was hard to evaluate. It seemed like the goal was mainly to describe things without simply tacking on a single adjective.

 

From that standpoint, I think your dd did a great job! She used interesting descriptions and expanded on them. I think her details about the hair and eyes are especially good.

[MelissaMinNC]

Thank you for replying, Penelope!

 

:)

Melissa

[Ellie]

For a 9yo, it looks pretty good. I would be happy with that. :-)

 

I'd want to see all the details/instruction in that lesson to make a better evaluation, but the final draft looks pretty good to me.

 

I can tell that *you* are focussing on topic sentences. I know this because of the way the last sentence begins. :-) Writing Strands emphasizes that less than many other products that teach writing.

 

If you don't have "Evaluating Writing," you might consider buying it.

[dhudson]

I thought it was a good description. I have done that lesson with my kids and I think she followed the directions well and wrote an interesting description. I particularly liked the description of how thin her friend was.

 

Good job!

[MelissaMinNC]

I can tell that *you* are focussing on topic sentences. I know this because of the way the last sentence begins.

 

Thanks for your reply, Ellie. Yes, we've been working on topic sentences in ILL - and I'm trying to reinforce the idea with other lessons. She needed lots of help with that last paragraph. :)

 

I'm going to try and get "Evaluating Writing" at convention later this week. I need help!

 

:)

Melissa

[MelissaMinNC]

Good job!

 

 

Thanks, Dawn! It's good to hear from someone who's done the lesson. Why do I find this whole "teaching writing" gig to be so....murky?!

 

:)

Melissa