Moms of many-Help!-Overwhelmed-long vent

[Emmy]

I also find it scary to pull the threads of our home school together on my own (which is really what I'd like to do but it frightens me so). There is something SAFE about a pre-made schedule where some other person, wiser than I am, has planned all of the necessary parts of the school week. If I simply do these items and check them off then I've done my duty :glare:.

 

The dark side of having some distant wise person making a schedule for you is that you have a schedule and when you fall behind, it will make you stress. Schedules are to-do lists begging to be completed and if you don't check the boxes, it's easy to focus on what didn't happen instead of what did happen. I really prefer doing my own thing because if I don't have some arbitrary schedule in front of me, then I am never behind. We just keep moving forward and it's fine. I think there is a security in being able to say - my child completed sonlight core 4 vs. we read and discussed books all year and did some projects on the side - but if you can find the confidence to do the latter, it is so much easier with a big family.

[abrightmom]

The dark side of having some distant wise person making a schedule for you is that you have a schedule and when you fall behind, it will make you stress. Schedules are to-do lists begging to be completed and if you don't check the boxes, it's easy to focus on what didn't happen instead of what did happen. I really prefer doing my own thing because if I don't have some arbitrary schedule in front of me, then I am never behind. We just keep moving forward and it's fine. I think there is a security in being able to say - my child completed sonlight core 4 vs. we read and discussed books all year and did some projects on the side - but if you can find the confidence to do the latter, it is so much easier with a big family.

 

:iagree: & Amen sister.

[creativish]

Thanks so much for asking this :)

I am not even homeschooling (yet?!?) and I just here trying to get some sort of clue of what and how and if or when to try to do things. So far, I'm just at the point where I'm just trying to keep all the abbreviations straight :tongue_smilie:

But anyway, I remember you from your kids in your siggy because mine are so close in age to yours, although opposite genders-- DD 8, DD 7, DS 5, but I've got 2 DSs that straddle your 1.5 yr old (a 2 and just-turned 1 yr old). So what a wonderful opportunity to catch a glimpse into your life as it is, especially since too I suffer from the same worries and insecurities of sky-high ideals and perfections. (this could easily be a future thead of mine ;) )

I have been trying to figure out what is the "best" curriculum out there, and so far I am not doing too hot on finding a solution. (I just got my first HOD catalog this week... heh heh) But after reading this thread, I am reminded that there is no "best" curriculum-- which of course seems obvious when looking at it written out in words, but is a great reminder that if homeschooling is to be in our future, I've got to really keep focused on what will work for us and not my imaginary family or anyone else.

Lots of wisdom throughout this thread!

Thanks :grouphug:

[lovemykids]

Amen! Isn't that the truth!

 

 

 

If it makes you feel any better, you are doing far more than I ever have or will do with my primary grade kids. I only do the 3 Rs with them. Somehow, they have all managed to turn out fine and a few far more accelerated than avg. ;)

 

It sounds like the best advice you could actually get is to stop reading the forums and just worry about your family's needs. :D

 

The dark side of having some distant wise person making a schedule for you is that you have a schedule and when you fall behind, it will make you stress. Schedules are to-do lists begging to be completed and if you don't check the boxes, it's easy to focus on what didn't happen instead of what did happen. I really prefer doing my own thing because if I don't have some arbitrary schedule in front of me, then I am never behind. We just keep moving forward and it's fine. I think there is a security in being able to say - my child completed sonlight core 4 vs. we read and discussed books all year and did some projects on the side - but if you can find the confidence to do the latter, it is so much easier with a big family.

 

 

Great advice! I am glad you feel better. (Now that you found out that you are doing an awesome job....and that this forum can make you crazy.) Read at your own risk. :lol: Proceed with caution and keep your head on your shoulders.

 

Really, it's a great help but we all have to be careful. :tongue_smilie:

[Susie in MS]

The dark side of having some distant wise person making a schedule for you is that you have a schedule and when you fall behind, it will make you stress. Schedules are to-do lists begging to be completed and if you don't check the boxes, it's easy to focus on what didn't happen instead of what did happen. I really prefer doing my own thing because if I don't have some arbitrary schedule in front of me, then I am never behind. We just keep moving forward and it's fine. I think there is a security in being able to say - my child completed sonlight core 4 vs. we read and discussed books all year and did some projects on the side - but if you can find the confidence to do the latter, it is so much easier with a big family.

 

I agree with this. I have a friend that has her kiddos do a math curriculum and they use books and writing paper for everything else. The read and then they write about what they read. Works great! She is my inspiration!

[mothergooseof4]

Katrina,

I have been reading all of the responses and thinking on this for the past couple of days. Your oldest is the same age as my middle child and quite honestly, if he was my oldest, history and science would not be an issue for me. I would do as I did with my oldest at that point and just read some books. The only thing that I would do differently than I did with my oldest, is that I would do more writing. I really failed in that area and we are now playing catch up.

 

I know that you have gotten some great advice from mommas that have even graduated some of their children. I have one that I hsed in elementary that is now in public high school. My current hsing oldest is finishing up 5th. What I have learned is that skills are what REALLY matter at this point. Focus there. I was a slave to my curriculum with my stepdd years ago. I didn't know why I did a lot of what I did, but I did it because my TG told me to. When ds came along, he was a whole new ball game and balked at a lot of what I had done in the past. I skipped copywork because I didn't see the point, allowed one or two word answers to questions because he was a boy and it was easier, didn't use a handwriting program because he seemed to be picking up things on his own, and pretty much allowed him to take short cuts in lots of skill areas because I had never learned WHY a lot of things were important. I used the excuse that he was a boy and it would come with maturity. Now, I regret all of that. His handwriting is terrible; he can write a perfect sentence if I stare over his shoulder, but his habit is to just keep on writing with no punctuation; he can narrate anything, read anything, and retain anything, but asking him to get it down on paper is a chore; and he still spells by sight even after using SWR, AAS, and now PR. He requires more of me in skills now because I didn't train him right to begin with. I now see why all of those skills are important in earlier years. Those are what I am focusing on with my younger two. They only get history and science because I am doing with my oldest and they can listen in.

 

At the same time, I feel your pain. There is so much I want to do. I have looked at all of those vintage LA books on google and they really call to me. I would not drop my beloved PR to do them, but I love how they are set up and they seem soooo sweet. I am a math junkie and could easily choose several math programs for my kids. I would love to sit and read for a couple of hours each day. My middle loves for me to read to him. I would love to do latin, spanish, more art, nature walks, watch science dvds and the history channel, teach the kids to crochet, play more games, etc. etc. etc. The reality is that I rarely even ask my kids to help cook because I am burned out and just want to get it done. It takes more time and energy to teach them to help me than to just do it myself.

 

I was searching around the other night and came across a thread titled "If money were no object....." The truth is that I can typically purchase whatever curricula I want. The problem is time....there simply is not enough in the day.

 

So, as I said, what I wish I had done is focus on those basic skills. The fact that we never studied this history topic or that science tidbit does not concern me. The fact that I am having to sit over my almost 6th grader to get him to write a couple of decent sentences frustrates me to no end......and it is entirely my fault.

[AngelBee]

:001_smile: This has been a great thread.....

 

I actually realize we do quite a bit...it's the lack of formality that is making me feel like we're not doing so much....

 

And I do need to increase the 3 R's skill work with my oldest. But, realizing that he's just nearing the end of 2nd grade I can jump BACK into what was really flowing well for us...FLL, WWE. We were really enjoying that and I don't know why I dropped it (well, I dropped it for the elusive BETTER only to find myself spinning our wheels for 3 months).

 

I realized today that in an informal way we do quite a bit of science, history, etc. In addition to the other items we DO read history & science books constantly, we sketch trees & bugs, we look things up, we watch cool videos on the computer, we do snap circuits & k'nex, we do science experiments randomly, we do hymn study & listen to classical music, etc. We do plenty of Bible study...it's just not formal which for some reason makes me think we're not doing it right. SO dumb...

 

Hmmmmm. I am beginning to feel liberated and rejuvenated. Shoring up the 3 R's and the daily schedules/routines is priority one. Breaking free from the box has already happened....I'm not going to follow a pre-set schedule or plan at this point. If we use Sonlight (which we might 'cause we loved Core 1) I use the schedule loosely anyway.

 

I have lots of wonderful ideas that I think are more down to earth in terms of expectations.

 

My son told me he wants to read books, label maps and do experiments. He could do without the math. :D

If I were you:

 

Do PR or WWE/FFL.

 

Do math of your choice.

 

Buy CORE 1 and do as wanted. Make it fun and informal. Tie in maps and activities as wanted.

 

Science: Interest led. Use Netflix, YouTube, Brainpop, etc as jump off points.

 

Do local field trips such as nature walks, zoo, swimming, etc.

 

Only need to do Bible reading, math, LA, and a read aloud daily.

 

The rest is frosting! :D

[lovemykids]

. Yes' date=' you need to do LA and Math daily...but the LA work can be rotated weekly. There is no need to do everything with all of them at these young ages.

.

 

Oh, and when I say rotate LA, an example would be: (this is just off the top off my head.. I do not have a schedule, yet things get done by rotating)

Mon: reading, writing, Bible, grammar

Tues: read alouds, phonics, grammar

Wed: reading, writing, phonics

Thurs: Bible, spelling, phonics

Fri: have fun

You can even combine grammar with writing; have read alouds double for Bible, science, history, bedtime stories, and so forth. If the “olders” are okay with personal reading, have them reading on their own every day, of course.

Just food for thought.

:)

[abrightmom]

Katrina,

I have been reading all of the responses and thinking on this for the past couple of days. Your oldest is the same age as my middle child and quite honestly, if he was my oldest, history and science would not be an issue for me. I would do as I did with my oldest at that point and just read some books. The only thing that I would do differently than I did with my oldest, is that I would do more writing. I really failed in that area and we are now playing catch up.

 

I know that you have gotten some great advice from mommas that have even graduated some of their children. I have one that I hsed in elementary that is now in public high school. My current hsing oldest is finishing up 5th. What I have learned is that skills are what REALLY matter at this point. Focus there. I was a slave to my curriculum with my stepdd years ago. I didn't know why I did a lot of what I did, but I did it because my TG told me to. When ds came along, he was a whole new ball game and balked at a lot of what I had done in the past. I skipped copywork because I didn't see the point, allowed one or two word answers to questions because he was a boy and it was easier, didn't use a handwriting program because he seemed to be picking up things on his own, and pretty much allowed him to take short cuts in lots of skill areas because I had never learned WHY a lot of things were important. I used the excuse that he was a boy and it would come with maturity. Now, I regret all of that. His handwriting is terrible; he can write a perfect sentence if I stare over his shoulder, but his habit is to just keep on writing with no punctuation; he can narrate anything, read anything, and retain anything, but asking him to get it down on paper is a chore; and he still spells by sight even after using SWR, AAS, and now PR. He requires more of me in skills now because I didn't train him right to begin with. I now see why all of those skills are important in earlier years. Those are what I am focusing on with my younger two. They only get history and science because I am doing with my oldest and they can listen in.

 

At the same time, I feel your pain. There is so much I want to do. I have looked at all of those vintage LA books on google and they really call to me. I would not drop my beloved PR to do them, but I love how they are set up and they seem soooo sweet. I am a math junkie and could easily choose several math programs for my kids. I would love to sit and read for a couple of hours each day. My middle loves for me to read to him. I would love to do latin, spanish, more art, nature walks, watch science dvds and the history channel, teach the kids to crochet, play more games, etc. etc. etc. The reality is that I rarely even ask my kids to help cook because I am burned out and just want to get it done. It takes more time and energy to teach them to help me than to just do it myself.

 

I was searching around the other night and came across a thread titled "If money were no object....." The truth is that I can typically purchase whatever curricula I want. The problem is time....there simply is not enough in the day.

 

So, as I said, what I wish I had done is focus on those basic skills. The fact that we never studied this history topic or that science tidbit does not concern me. The fact that I am having to sit over my almost 6th grader to get him to write a couple of decent sentences frustrates me to no end......and it is entirely my fault.

 

Oh Sandi,

 

Thanks for sharing your heart so openly... my oldest guy is only 8 at this point and I think I've begun to go down the easier path because it is so challenging to stay the course with a distracted, writing phobic boy. It helps so much to hear the heart desires of other Mamas....and to be told over and over again what really matters. Right now we're just plugging along so we can wrap up 2nd grade "stuff" at month's end.... and we're always reading which is wonderful. And we've been reading whatever delights us. Right now we're reading the books from HOD's Bigger and all the kids are enjoying Eggleston! :001_smile:

 

MFW is looking more lovely to me but I have plenty of time to sit on that one...I am not in a rush to buy anything content oriented. We have plenty of GREAT books to read....CHOW, SOTW, etc. We're being casual and informal with all of that and I've learned this week that it is ALL GOOD at my stage.

 

We have been pondering the idea of just doing lots of science this next year since my kids are so hands on! No formal history and all that goes with it....just hands on science and reading lots of books that we're interested in. We can study whatever we want for Bible too.... just some dreamy ideas I'm toying with.

 

Phonics Road is still on the table and I simply cannot decide if I should go to Level Two. It's the time and writing commitment that I can't figure out. I simply cannot remember what was scheduled day to day when I had Level Two and I am concerned about biting off too much for DS8. My son also needs to use WWE for narration work....he really needs that consistency that I haven't given him. WWE helps me do that!! I am paralyzed by indecision about PR and cannot break free but I do feel the time passing and see that my oldest is going to need to settle down with more writing very soon. I've been very easy on him....

 

PR Level One arrived by the way (thanks). I could NOT find the original post so that I could leave feedback! I will try again but I searched every which way and it wouldn't come up!

 

That was a jumbled mess....it's past my bedtime :001_smile:. I appreciate you a lot Sandi. Maybe I'll PM you with a few specific PR questions. I need some help there...DH wants me to go for it but I have so many reservations.

 

Well, I have learned this week that focusing on skills is key and that we can enjoy "content" in a relaxed, informal way for now while we're in this season. And I hear you on being too tired to let the kids help with dinner! :001_smile:

 

Blessings,

Katrina :)

[blessed2five]

Katrina,

 

First of all :grouphug:

 

I actually took a day off of WTM to spend the day with my kids!! Field trips are great and we all needed a day off.

 

My heart goes out to you for so many reasons. I remember the early days of homeschooling when my kids and I didn't get everything done as planned or how I wanted to. However looking back my kids really did not suffer.

 

I too, love to research curriculum and have pretty much changed our main history, Bible every year. I have used AWOA, Noah Plan, SL 3 & 4, TOG, ATI, MFW. There was something to like about all of them, but never enough to make me stay. I see now after 6 years that my personality is one to research and plan, which is okay as long as I am not neglecting my husband or children.

 

Sometimes I just have to take the little prodding from the HS to stop looking and start living. He is in control and will lead me to where I need to be. My children are learning and for the most part enjoying the process. However, I find that if Mama isn't happy, no one is. Take some time off the researching and planning and love on your kids. They grow up so fast!!

 

People like us may never find the "perfect" curriculum and that is okay. Our children will not suffer from it and will turn out okay:001_smile:

 

Have a great day!

[Rikki06]

This is a great thread! Lots of wise advice for someone who hasn't started homeschooling and has many, many ideals. Ha! I think I better spend more time praying and less time researching. Thanks for pouring out wisdom!