Moms of many-Help!-Overwhelmed-long vent

abrightmom · May 3, 2011

Ladies,

Figuring out what to do with homeschooling has become an extreme discouragement. What I WANT to do and what I am ABLE to do are not meshing....I simply CANNOT pull off all that needs to be done daily. :glare:

Here's what I need:

A flexible schedule that can be adjusted on the fly (shift today's assignment to tomorrow or double up if something is flowing well).

Kids reading, writing, and doing math daily at their learning level.

Combining in content with age appropriate "others": history, science, Bible, read alouds

Notebooking: This works well for us.

A way to meet the content needs of my oldest while not leaving out my youngers or yanking them along.

** I am finding that trying to teach everybody all they need every day is a HUGE undertaking because I am teaching young, immature, foolish, disinterested children who would rather be playing (or fighting or distracting themselves or whatever) than learning in a structured way.

** I need a way to have as much of a classical/CM blend here that can get DONE day to day.

**I like a strong English foundation (phonics, grammar, writing, etc.) but I am finding that what the kids need is so intensive. Teaching Phonics Road to 3 children daily is a huge deal. Teaching FLL/WWE/spelling to 3 kids daily is a huge deal. Teaching any English studies combo. is proving challenging. I am looking at all of my options/combinations here in hopes of coming up with a routine that works for all of the children in as efficient a way as possible.

I am distressed, to say the least, because my best laid plans are continually flushed due to "life" with littles. Yet, my oldest children NEED to be moving forward and really zeroing in on their skills!! They are hungry to learn now (despite their desire to play and fight :001_smile:).

** I am trying HOD but I think it is too structured for us. It is lovely and has all that I want in a planned format but I cannot handle the daily spread. If we miss a box then I am flipping all over the place trying to find where I am for each subject. And I can't teach everybody from the same program. The structure is killing my oldest. It may be good for him but he's a very creative, free spirited boy and I want to allow him some freedom to express himself. I am struggling with this some but it's nagging me right now.

:001_smile:TOG and HOD won't work here for various reasons. I'm open to any and all suggestions OR I'll just take a pat on the back from those who understand my turmoil. This is enough to drive me to quit home educating. Feeling like a failure nearly every day is more than I can take!

I have loved Sonlight but feel like we aren't doing anything (my kids adore this approach :) ). I have been seriously considering doing Phonics Road and Sonlight with our science choice, memory work and Bible extras meshed in according to our desires.

MFW is something I am open to but I don't know if we're ready for ECC yet... and I honestly do not think I prefer the spines for CTG. I am not interested in reading a text and summarizing... I want to read living books and narrative spines. We adored Adventures though. Book Basket was a hit here. We also loved MFW First Grade here. K, not so much.

Thanks for letting me get this off my chest. :001_smile: I just need help.

JudoMom · May 3, 2011

Ladies,

Figuring out what to do with homeschooling has become an extreme discouragement. What I WANT to do and what I am ABLE to do are not meshing....I simply CANNOT pull off all that needs to be done daily. :glare:

Here's what I need:

A flexible schedule that can be adjusted on the fly (shift today's assignment to tomorrow or double up if something is flowing well).

Kids reading, writing, and doing math daily at their learning level.

Combining in content with age appropriate "others": history, science, Bible, read alouds

Notebooking: This works well for us.

A way to meet the content needs of my oldest while not leaving out my youngers or yanking them along.

** I am finding that trying to teach everybody all they need every day is a HUGE undertaking because I am teaching young, immature, foolish, disinterested children who would rather be playing (or fighting or distracting themselves or whatever) than learning in a structured way.

** I need a way to have as much of a classical/CM blend here that can get DONE day to day.

**I like a strong English foundation (phonics, grammar, writing, etc.) but I am finding that what the kids need is so intensive. Teaching Phonics Road to 3 children daily is a huge deal. Teaching FLL/WWE/spelling to 3 kids daily is a huge deal. Teaching any English studies combo. is proving challenging. I am looking at all of my options/combinations here in hopes of coming up with a routine that works for all of the children in as efficient a way as possible.

I am distressed, to say the least, because my best laid plans are continually flushed due to "life" with littles. Yet, my oldest children NEED to be moving forward and really zeroing in on their skills!! They are hungry to learn now (despite their desire to play and fight :001_smile:).

** I am trying HOD but I think it is too structured for us. It is lovely and has all that I want in a planned format but I cannot handle the daily spread. If we miss a box then I am flipping all over the place trying to find where I am for each subject. And I can't teach everybody from the same program. The structure is killing my oldest. It may be good for him but he's a very creative, free spirited boy and I want to allow him some freedom to express himself. I am struggling with this some but it's nagging me right now.

:001_smile:TOG and HOD won't work here for various reasons. I'm open to any and all suggestions OR I'll just take a pat on the back from those who understand my turmoil. This is enough to drive me to quit home educating. Feeling like a failure nearly every day is more than I can take!

I have loved Sonlight but feel like we aren't doing anything (my kids adore this approach :) ). I have been seriously considering doing Phonics Road and Sonlight with our science choice, memory work and Bible extras meshed in according to our desires.

MFW is something I am open to but I don't know if we're ready for ECC yet... and I honestly do not think I prefer the spines for CTG. I am not interested in reading a text and summarizing... I want to read living books and narrative spines. We adored Adventures though. Book Basket was a hit here. We also loved MFW First Grade here. K, not so much.

Thanks for letting me get this off my chest. :001_smile: I just need help.

What don't you like about the bolded idea :001_smile:?

As long as you are getting reading, writing, and math done consistently, your kids will be fine. You don't need a big fancy program for history or science. SOTW cds are great for history, and purchase some fun science experiment kits if you need science (we've unschooled this one a lot here).

Remember, don't let the perfect get in the way of the good. It's going to be okay :grouphug:.

Roxy Roller · May 3, 2011

:grouphug:

I know exactly how you feel. This year has been a year of long days. I have done some remediation in the spelling/phonics area, so my days are long(but it has been worth it to see the progress that has been made). I also work individually with all of my children for between 45-60 minutes a day + history(TOG), which we do together 3 days a week.

The only thing that has saved my sanity, is only schooling 4 (long)days per week. I will continue to do this. I do a master schedule week by week, so that it is flexible - meaning I can double up on lessons one day if we have a doctors appointment on another school afternoon. A four day schedule gives us a day to plan field trips, appointments, or to do housework. Before doing a 4 day schedule, I was always behind and beating myself up over it. I also figure out how many weeks I want to school and name my weekly schedules - Week 1, Week 2 etc., that way if something comes up and we need a week break, we can take a week off, without psychologically feeling like we will be behind. I plan enough breaks in my year, but don't actually schedule them, meaning, for example, I usually plan two in the spring, but don't schedule them until we need them.

I see that you are adding a 5 year old. I, too, am adding my DS, who is now 6 and will be in 1st grade next year. I am choosing new curriculum that my 4 older DC can do fairly independently next year, so that he will get the one on one attention that he needs to get a good start in reading, writing and 'rithmetic, and so he doesn't get lost in the shuffle of a big family.

I also unschool science until my DC are in 6th grade. It might not be something that you are open too, but I have found that my DC naturally have learned science, because they want to. For instance, one of my twins(8) has done every single experiment in all of the Van Cleave books - on his own, for fun. I don't think he would have come to love science, if it would have been something he had to do. The only problem I have with this, is knowing what to do with him when he hits the middle grades, and has done most of the experiments that are required.

Edited May 3, 2011 by Roxy Roller

twoxcell · May 3, 2011

I do not want you to take this the wrong way at all, but I think you are way over thinking this. I have seen you agonizing over curriculum for weeks. :grouphug: At this point it sounds to me like you all need to take a break and spend some time outdoors. While you are doing that sit down with your husband and make a decision on what you are going to use this coming year(not for the next 10. I know I tend to do that too.), and when you break is done jump in and go with that. Stop looking around at curriculums once you have made your decision.

joysworld · May 3, 2011

First off, *hugs* :)

As for a daily schedule, I don't do one, for the exact reason you posted. I don't like to be tied down to days and then feel behind when we don't get everything done.

For history and science, I make my own curriculum. I'm actually in the process of getting the details down; finished the outline last week. What I do is make 36 weeks, and decide what topics I want to cover, and find books for those topics. I have done that, and now, I'm going through and jotting down any activities or projects that I think would be fun. All of this stuff is put into a weeks, not days, AND just because I have it written down doesn't mean that we HAVE to do it. It's just a guide. For history and science, we will have read outlouds. My children are 6, 5, and 3. Or will be by the time the new school year is here. After the read outlouds, we may do an activity, we may not. Just depends on our mood. We'll probably just have a fun discussion about what I read.

For math and reading, I'm using Singapore for my first grader, and just a math workbook from Walmart for my K. The younger two will play or color at the table while I do the oldest math lesson. When I'm done with that, he will have his assigned pages to do, then I will work with my Ker, if she wants. After oldest is done with math, he can go play. After my Ker is done, we will do 100EZ lessons. The other two will be playing. When the younger two go down for nap, ds and I will do his reading. If for some reason my Ker stops taking naps, she will read books quietly while I work with ds. With reading and math, I just go by lesson by lesson. I do not have it so that on Monday we do lesson 23, Tuesday lesson 24, etc. We just get it done as we get it done.

You kids older three will more than likely enjoy the same type of books for you to read to them. If your older one doesn't, depending on his reading abilities, have him read to your 7 and 5 year old if you need to have stuff to do. After reading books on your topic, y'all can do a project together or different projects if you want them to work at different levels.

If you want some specific examples of what it looks like here, just let me know. Don't know if this helps, but hope it does!

Just remember, you don't have to have every single subject every day.

AngelBee · May 3, 2011

I say this with love and because we are sooooo alike.

STOP RESEARCHING OPTIONS!

:grouphug: You are driving yourself crazy! :(

Life with multiple littles is SUPER hard work. Be gentle with yourself.

Honestly, start with writing your top 5 things you think are important. Then go from there.

I think PR, math, and SL or random RA's from history cycle sounds great. You kids are young. You will be able to get more structured as time go by. :)

Post your top 5 and I will help you from there.

:grouphug: We will figure this out! (Off to work for a bit, but will be back to check in with you)

Veritaserum · May 3, 2011

:grouphug: You are in the thick of it with your kids' ages. Here's what works for me:

1. PR for everybody. We knock out all LA except writing for my biggest kids. It takes 15-60 minutes per child (60 is for a child accelerating through level 2), depending on the level.

2. Math Mammoth or CLE math for everybody. Worktexts make teaching math easy.

3. History is independent for the biggest two. I read history library books to my 6yo. The older three listen to SOTW on CD. The older two complete the tests and write a summary. They also do the maps. I ask my dd6 the SOTW questions and do the map with her. She also gives me a narration.

4. Literature is similar to history. The older two read alone. I read to the younger ones. I ask all of them questions and they all give narrations or write summaries.

Everything else is gravy. The older two do science experiments and science reading. I assign independent reading/writing for music and art history. Latin will come after PR. I sporadically get around to doing a lesson or two of RSO for my 6yo. She and I are going to have a science summer. :)

Every weekend I make daily lists for what I want to get done for each kid each day. I use Homeschool Tracker Plus.

Our days look like this:

8ish ~ Everyone wakes up, eats (cereal), and gets dressed. I tidy up the kitchen.

9ish ~ I start doing individual turns with each child, even the 2yo. She throws a fit if she doesn't get a turn with Mom. With her I do the Core Knowledge Preschool workbooks or read a story (she picks). If it's not your turn to work with Mom, you need to be working on the subjects you can do alone. If there are no subjects you can do alone, you need to be playing quietly. I try to get turns with all of them before lunch, but that only happens if we start early enough and everybody cooperates. :tongue_smilie: I typically get three turns done before lunch.

12ish ~ Eat lunch. Do a bit of cleaning.

1ish ~ Finish turns with those I missed in the morning. Everybody else finishes anything they didn't do earlier.

2/3ish (whenever we are done) ~ Free time, practice piano, etc. I tend to get on here and veg for a bit. :)

4:30 ~ Cleaning time. All the rooms get picked up. Each kid gets a job. I make dinner.

6ish ~ Dinner.

We only do school Mon. - Thurs. Friday is when we do weekly cleaning: bathrooms, linens, etc. Having Friday off gives me a chance to catch my breath. It also gives us a day to catch up if "life" happened earlier in the week. :)

Edited May 3, 2011 by Veritaserum

blessedmom3 · May 3, 2011

A few months ago , I wrote a similar post . I was truly overwhelmed trying to teach a 8yo , a 6 yo and a 5 yo + a 2yo messing things around :)

I ended up putting my kids to PS due to this but also some health problems .

I will take them back next year and my plan is to build a strong foundation in English/Math , the rest is just gravy at this age. I LOVE HOD , even bought three guides , then sold them to you (remember?) :001_smile: It just does not work for our family at this time. I am still considering HOD for the future, maybe Preparing&up , although I am not satisfied with their science (I have a degree in science and would like it to be more meaty) .

So for next year I bought BJU English and reading and I am very impressed . I love the writing portion even if it contradicts SWB's philosophy .My kids love creative writing in school and they were doing poorly at the beginning since we have been doing writing a la TWTM....almost exclusively ( sorry to say that they hated FLL & WWE , though I loved these ) . I am very excited to start BJU , I wish I had found it earlier . About BJU reading -I have never considered a reading program before since my kids are reading 2-3 or more grades ahead their ages , but after seeing that at school my 2nd grader knows nothing about inferences and author purpose or similes , metaphors or other literary terms, I decided we need to use one. I bought BJU and it looks wonderful !

For math we continue with Singapore, CLE and Tenmarks. History we have SOTW 2 all together . We do notebooking too .We add books from Sonlight, LBC and HOD's lists.

Abeka 3 History (they love this one) if we don't have time for anything else because it's independent .

Science -BFSU + HOD's list + Read and Find Out

Abeka science 3 for all when we don't have time for anything else

Art - How to teach art to children

Poetry- different authors

Bible and Spelling -we use independent workbooks from Christian Liberty Press , they are both great , comprehensive and while the kids are doing that, I am working on math with another dc. We also read Egermeiers Bible at night and discuss it. It has great comprehension questions at the end.

I believe focusing on the 3Rs+Bible it's all they need at this time . I would strongly recommend to consider independent courses / textbooks such as Abeka that cover the basics and combine them with a literature approach . You can get inspired from lists such as HOD, Sonlight , while not doing their whole package or schedule .

Again- focus on the 3Rs + reading a lot and you will be all set :)

May 3, 2011

:grouphug:

Homeschooling6 · May 3, 2011

Have you thought about NOT using any history or science program. I know they sound wonderful but maybe take a break for a year. You can use their (HOD, MFW, SL) list and read about a certain time period. This will help you not feel boggled down with a schedule. Read at lunch or bed time.

Read science/nature books for science. You know me, audio books ;)

Practice narration a little differently. Read your selected passage of scripture, history, science or read aloud book and start with the youngest. Have the youngest tell the story back to you, and move up the age line. It's okay if they are all there.

As much as I really LOVED Phonics Road, I couldn't pull it off either:001_huh:.

With your 8 and 7 year old dc, (I'm not sure where you are at with LA) can you start with copywork only and introduce the basic grammar skill. Give them a passage to copy. Let them know that you want it to look exactly like the model. Go over the capitals, punctuation and comma marks before letting them copy it, so they are aware of them. That can be their writing for the day. If you do a few narrations a week, they are in my opinion doing oral writing :D

For spelling, since or if you know all the sounds you can incorporate that into another spelling program. Currently I'm doing something called Spelling Dictation using Phonics Pathways. I go over the rule, then dictate words or sentences to my dc. If I'm remembering correctly, you have strong spellers. If I had strong spellers I would use their copywork for spelling as well (CM style).

HTH some. I need to finish my blog post that I started before popping over here to see what's happening :001_smile:

abrightmom · May 3, 2011

I say this with love and because we are sooooo alike.

STOP RESEARCHING OPTIONS!

:grouphug: You are driving yourself crazy! :(

Life with multiple littles is SUPER hard work. Be gentle with yourself.

Honestly, start with writing your top 5 things you think are important. Then go from there.

I think PR, math, and SL or random RA's from history cycle sounds great. You kids are young. You will be able to get more structured as time go by. :)

Post your top 5 and I will help you from there.

:grouphug: We will figure this out! (Off to work for a bit, but will be back to check in with you)

Well, I'm not sure how a home school Mom should approach "researching options". Goodness, there is a lot to learn and consider. In order to make a choice from a HUGE pile of options we have to cover all the bases. There are a variety of philosophies, a variety of approaches, a variety of subjects, etc. Each one needs to be handled and I want to familiarize myself with all of the options so that I can make my grid for filtering....

I really don't think I am "over thinking". Discussing options & possibilities, toying with pros & cons, asking questions, etc. IS my responsibility. I HAVE to think and cover all the bases. Partly, it is the kind of woman that I am. I simply cannot (and will not) "just choose something and go with it". That doesn't work for my teaching style and I'm sure that many of you identify. Fitting Mama is as important as fitting the kids.

I am funneling, processing, and fitting my ideals to my reality. That is a process requiring a lot of thinking:001_smile:

Angel Bee,

My top 5 are Bible, English studies (reading, writing, grammar), literature, history and math. My oldest 3 need to be combined for content. :001_smile:

Really, it's just a vent....to say that my IDEAL and my REALITY are not getting along and it is beyond frustrating. :001_smile: I don't like having to give up "ideal" but it is something I am being forced to lay down. Boy does that upset me! :D

silliness7 · May 3, 2011

Ladies,

Figuring out what to do with homeschooling has become an extreme discouragement. What I WANT to do and what I am ABLE to do are not meshing....I simply CANNOT pull off all that needs to be done daily. :glare:

Here's what I need:

A flexible schedule that can be adjusted on the fly (shift today's assignment to tomorrow or double up if something is flowing well).

Kids reading, writing, and doing math daily at their learning level.

Combining in content with age appropriate "others": history, science, Bible, read alouds

Notebooking: This works well for us.

A way to meet the content needs of my oldest while not leaving out my youngers or yanking them along.

** I am finding that trying to teach everybody all they need every day is a HUGE undertaking because I am teaching young, immature, foolish, disinterested children who would rather be playing (or fighting or distracting themselves or whatever) than learning in a structured way.

** I need a way to have as much of a classical/CM blend here that can get DONE day to day.

**I like a strong English foundation (phonics, grammar, writing, etc.) but I am finding that what the kids need is so intensive. Teaching Phonics Road to 3 children daily is a huge deal. Teaching FLL/WWE/spelling to 3 kids daily is a huge deal. Teaching any English studies combo. is proving challenging. I am looking at all of my options/combinations here in hopes of coming up with a routine that works for all of the children in as efficient a way as possible.

I am distressed, to say the least, because my best laid plans are continually flushed due to "life" with littles. Yet, my oldest children NEED to be moving forward and really zeroing in on their skills!! They are hungry to learn now (despite their desire to play and fight :001_smile:).

** I am trying HOD but I think it is too structured for us. It is lovely and has all that I want in a planned format but I cannot handle the daily spread. If we miss a box then I am flipping all over the place trying to find where I am for each subject. And I can't teach everybody from the same program. The structure is killing my oldest. It may be good for him but he's a very creative, free spirited boy and I want to allow him some freedom to express himself. I am struggling with this some but it's nagging me right now.

:001_smile:TOG and HOD won't work here for various reasons. I'm open to any and all suggestions OR I'll just take a pat on the back from those who understand my turmoil. This is enough to drive me to quit home educating. Feeling like a failure nearly every day is more than I can take!

I have loved Sonlight but feel like we aren't doing anything (my kids adore this approach :) ). I have been seriously considering doing Phonics Road and Sonlight with our science choice, memory work and Bible extras meshed in according to our desires.

MFW is something I am open to but I don't know if we're ready for ECC yet... and I honestly do not think I prefer the spines for CTG. I am not interested in reading a text and summarizing... I want to read living books and narrative spines. We adored Adventures though. Book Basket was a hit here. We also loved MFW First Grade here. K, not so much.

Thanks for letting me get this off my chest. :001_smile: I just need help.

What saved my sanity this year...

I took the hours in my day that I was willing to devote to homeschooling and divided that by the # of children needing to school. Then I committed to giving each child that amount of time. I started the year out giving each child one big chunk of time each day but that later morphed into breaking their time up and having multiple tutoring times with one child throughout the day. I started out scheduling the most crucial things and learned quickly the things that I would just have to let go as there was more that I wanted to do than there was time to do. But that's O.K. We got the most important stuff done.

All of my dc are at different ability levels even if they happen to be working through similar content and I do not combine them. I do use the same books for some of them but I do not tutor them together. They do much better when they have my undivided attention and they are 100% accountable for every question asked. I have 2 that coast on the coat tails of their more vocal and academic siblings whenever given a chance.

I know very structured scheduling doesn't sound very flexible but when "life happens" it is mentally freeing to look at the schedule and plug yourself back in. For example, if phonics got preempted by throw-up on the carpet then when that is taken care I look at the clock and pick back up at whatever time I'm supposed to be. That way the whole day doesn't feel like it's dragging behind. Now later in the day when I meet with my 1st grader for read-aloud time I might decide to do our phonics lesson instead because it has higher priority or whatever. To me, that's flexible.

It's taken me a while to learn that it isn't possible to schedule in a full day of school and also take care of random incidental situations as they arise. Perhaps I should schedule that kind of thing in, but I don't. I feel like my time with each child is short enough as it is. But I am starting to be much more vigilant about guarding school time. No doctor, dentist appointments. No phone calls. No running to the grocery store because we're out of milk, diapers, etc. That one is hard for me. To get in the mindset of a working mom who needs to have her ducks in a row the night before instead of a SAHM who is more free to run errands whenever.

Well I don't want to make it sound like I've got it all figured out. Our school is definitely a work in progress. I am going to give HOD a go in the fall in the hopes of getting more done in less time. But I will probably not use the guide as my day's to-do list. I currently write out a linear list of assignments, 6 weeks at a time, for each dc. So when our days get "off" it's not a big deal. Then when it's time to write out the next 6 weeks I even it back up and whatever is left at the end of the school year will either be skipped entirely, finished up in the summer, or picked up in the fall depending. Anyway, I figure I'll just plug HOD assignments into my linear list and if we end up working on assignments from 5 different days I won't even know it.

It is super challenging to figure out the best way for your family and keeping your sanity at the same time. Hang in there, momma!! You can do this.

ETA: I also want to add that we have band/choir on Wed. and so we just do reading/math on this day. It really breaks up the week nicely and is a sanity saver for all of us. I like the 4-day week with a light 5th day. If we didn't do band I would naturally leave Fri. for the light day but it is WONDERFUL having the light day on "hump day."

Edited May 3, 2011 by silliness7

abrightmom · May 3, 2011

I do not want you to take this the wrong way at all, but I think you are way over thinking this. I have seen you agonizing over curriculum for weeks. :grouphug: At this point it sounds to me like you all need to take a break and spend some time outdoors. While you are doing that sit down with your husband and make a decision on what you are going to use this coming year(not for the next 10. I know I tend to do that too.), and when you break is done jump in and go with that. Stop looking around at curriculums once you have made your decision.

I understand what you're saying and it's not taken the wrong way. I do disagree about overthinking though.... it's my job to think it all through and that is precisely what I am doing. :001_smile: We all agonize over curriculum...the few who do not are the lucky ones. Agony is part of this deal! :001_smile: We have been taking a break for 3 months (doing math and reading) in order to forge a pathway. Dear husband is clueless though, bless his heart, he prays and tries. :001_smile: In his black and white "Man World" it all sounds good to him. I am not planning the next ten years either....though I did try that last year. :D

My HOD trial is in process and I'm going to stay with it for as long as I can handle it....I need to give it a fair run.

I am just discouraged in fitting my ideal into my reality.... just venting today among a group of women who get it. We have the weight of the world on our shoulders and the load is really really heavy right now. I know you all understand!

8filltheheart · May 3, 2011

Well, I'm not sure how a home school Mom should approach "researching options". Goodness, there is a lot to learn and consider. In order to make a choice from a HUGE pile of options we have to cover all the bases. There are a variety of philosophies, a variety of approaches, a variety of subjects, etc. Each one needs to be handled and I want to familiarize myself with all of the options so that I can make my grid for filtering....

I really don't think I am "over thinking". Discussing options & possibilities, toying with pros & cons, asking questions, etc. IS my responsibility. I HAVE to think and cover all the bases. Partly, it is the kind of woman that I am. I simply cannot (and will not) "just choose something and go with it". That doesn't work for my teaching style and I'm sure that many of you identify. Fitting Mama is as important as fitting the kids.

I am funneling, processing, and fitting my ideals to my reality. That is a process requiring a lot of thinking:001_smile:

Angel Bee,

My top 5 are Bible, English studies (reading, writing, grammar), literature, history and math. My oldest 3 need to be combined for content. :001_smile:

Really, it's just a vent....to say that my IDEAL and my REALITY are not getting along and it is beyond frustrating. :001_smile: I don't like having to give up "ideal" but it is something I am being forced to lay down. Boy does that upset me! :D

I guess I am having a hard time understanding why it can't all get done. Teaching phonics, spelling, writing, math to 3 kids your kids ages shouldn't take that much time. Combining the older 2 for history and science read alouds should be easy.

Phonics--10 to 15 mins x 3 = 30-45 mins

spelling 10-15 mins x 3= 30- 45 mins

writing 20 mins x 3 = 1 hr

math 30 mins x 3 = 1 1/2 hrs

That is only 2 1/2 hrs. Even if those required more, it shouldn't be taking more than 4 hrs total for all of them w/o read alouds in science or history.

Are you cycling through the kids? Can the older kids occupy the little one why you work with another child?

Perhaps sharing why it isn't possible would make it easier to offer help.

Evergreen Academy · May 3, 2011

Hugs to you, I know how overwhelming this can be, and I am tossing around many of the same curriculum options as you. I will tell you what worked here for years, with a range of young elementary students, and through multiple adoptions and surgeries. Most of what we have used can be picked up or put down depending on the day, or life situation (vacations, illnesses, etc). I too have felt very overwhelmed when we are tied to a daily schedule for everything.

LA - we like "do the next thing" materials, and have changed them based on learning styles, but these have included FLL, PLL, and ILL - I have loved them all. We currently do PLL (for littlest, 7) and ILL (for two ds 10) three days per week. I love that they include dictation, picture study, poetry and the other lovely CM elements I want to incorporate but have trouble organizing on my own. We have also used Explode the Code with the youngers, with great results, and am regularly doing dictation with ds 10, using a passage I choose from their literature book each Monday.

Reading - we start with the earliest Pathway Readers and move on up through the series, just sitting down and reading a bit every day. I have them read to me through second grade, so I am sure they have "got it." Later, when they are reading fluently, I choose books from Sonlight or Ambleside Online as readers.

History - SOTW is great, with read alouds chosen from Sonlight, and mapwork from the IG. We have used Biblioplan also, and found that to be a great way to organize history.

Science - we keep science very simple up until about 4th grade, when we begin using Abeka's texts (lovely and colorful). Until that time, they read the Christian Liberty Nature Readers, go for nature walks, read lots of books about animals and their habitats, etc. It is relaxed and often driven by what we find. A turtle? We will research and identify him, find out what he eats, draw him, and put him back where we found him. Fun stuff.

All that said, I think you have some HOD materials, yes? Can you choose some of the materials to make use of with the kiddos, loosely following the reading order and some of the fun things to do, and forget about the daily schedule for everything? Remember, curriculum makes a great servant, and a terrible master. Perhaps write out the history readings in a daily planner just for you, and use that to teach everyone? Could you even use a Truthquest guide to introduce things, and then use the materials you own to teach?

I recognize your turmoil as similar to my own, as I study waaaayyy too many websites and catalogs these past few weeks, so please know that I am not talking down when I say, take a deep breath, move slowly away from the catalogs and computer, and go out and play for a little while! :grouphug: You will figure it out!

Brooketopia · May 3, 2011

Oh, hugs to you. I could have written this post last week! I sat down with my husband and just vented for two whole hours and his response: "Place the responsibility on their shoulders."

I was trying to do everything for every one; and, like you've said, I just can't do it all. So we came up with an idea to counteract the immature, "I just want to play" mentality of our children. Now we have a big activity at the end of the "school day" that's lots of a fun--art, play-doh, whatever they happen to be into at the moment; and if the schoolwork that needed to be completed is done by the end of school, then they get to participate. If their work's not done, then they keep working while I play with the others in the activity. I no longer sit alongside and hold their hand and help them to focus on their work because it's their responsibility to do their work and they have to learn how to do that by themselves. No more harping from me. If they don't do the work, they don't get the play--it's an important life lesson that needs to be learned early in life.

I'm going to look into dividing up more of the chores. My oldest is seven and seven year olds are capable of many things. So's my five year old. I was able to keep all the balls in the air for a long time there, but now there's just too many people in this family for me to do it all anymore. I need help taking care of myself and five other people!

Don't be so hard on yourself, you're doing a great job. My husband was telling me last night that one of the hardest things for a company to handle is growth...having the wisdom to realize when they've reached maximum capacity for the time being and saying "No" to taking on any new customers and responsibilities until they get everything going smoothly at their new size. Perhaps this is just the point for both you and I where we've reached our maximum capacity for the moment and we need to learn how to manage it all before taking on anything extra. Families aren't designed to have just one person doing all the work...it's tough for me to delegate and let go of certain chores and responsibilities, but so much better for all of us if we all share the work.

Big hugs...take a deep breath. You're the one in charge and you know what's best for them, that's why you're the parent. Re-group a bit if you need to.

Hen · May 3, 2011

I'm right there with you, :grouphug:

I've been giving it some thought..my struggles with homeschooling, it really is a mess because I am not an organized person at all. I'm homeschooling 5 kids and it is really becoming a mess.

here's kind of where I think I am heading: keeping what has worked (not just what I love as an ideal but what I actually use) - Sonlight for history is working, I had the kids divided into 2 groups at first..now my older two students are doing their own cores independently. It is only working for History, not going to mess with the rest.

Math for each kid is working out, I use Math U see, which takes less teacher instruction from me.

LA and Science- not happening regularly, lots of jumping around, I'm going to give up the dream and go with Switched on schoolhouse. It is on the computer, I can use the same purchase for up to 5 kids. It's not magical Charlotte Mason stuff, but it will get done. I am hoping if I get things under control, I can add in neat activities as I see subjects come up. But, if I don't at least they are moving ahead and the subjects will be scheduled and work will be graded automatically.

Writing- very important to me, but again spotty application. I started WWE for the youngers, it helps that I just tear out the worksheet page each day and keep working.

For my highschoolers, we are paying for 2 outside classes each year for them- Composition or Lit and Science... for the rest, it will be SL plus Switched on schoolhouse. I'm thinking of having them do the SOS with sonlight so they will have something graded. SOS can be modified, so if the workload seems heavy I can skip some sections.

I hate re-thinking my approach so often, I'm thinking this might be a workable solution though.

good luck, and you are not alone. Don't panic, just keep thinking on it and I think a solution will come.

silliness7 · May 3, 2011

My HOD trial is in process and I'm going to stay with it for as long as I can handle it....I need to give it a fair run.

Oh I see you are already giving HOD a go. How long have you been at it? What isn't working about it? Is it not getting the full day done every day?

May 3, 2011

Hmm .. perhaps a reading of The Latin Centered Curriculum would give you a vision for the possibility of doing more with less (even if it didn't give you a vision for Latin itself ;) ).

Hen · May 3, 2011

I just read Mrs. Brooke's post above me, wow- I heart you! I think you are so right!

I had something along those lines- but not implemented enough...On Fridays we alternate going to the Skateboard park or the bookstore. This was the carrot and stick for my bonus student who was in public school before I got him and was throwing huge violent fits to not go to school. The Friday trip was the carrot..he has to come everyday and do his work or he sits out.

Mrs. Brooke had a good point, I'm just not utilizing it enough..Friday is a good goal, but yes, I think we need daily good stuff to earn or not. Hmm, have to think on what ours would be?

chores, yes- we have our older kids doing dishes and folding laundry, but I really could require more of them.

oh, and I forgot to mention in my earlier post, when I was teaching 3 kids to read at the same time, I started using Headsprout phonics, it's online and the kids loved it.

abrightmom · May 3, 2011

I guess I am having a hard time understanding why it can't all get done. Teaching phonics, spelling, writing, math to 3 kids your kids ages shouldn't take that much time. Combining the older 2 for history and science read alouds should be easy.

Phonics--10 to 15 mins x 3 = 30-45 mins

spelling 10-15 mins x 3= 30- 45 mins

writing 20 mins x 3 = 1 hr

math 30 mins x 3 = 1 1/2 hrs

That is only 2 1/2 hrs. Even if those required more, it shouldn't be taking more than 4 hrs total for all of them w/o read alouds in science or history.

Are you cycling through the kids? Can the older kids occupy the little one why you work with another child?

Perhaps sharing why it isn't possible would make it easier to offer help.

It's posts like this that make me feel like an idiot....:glare: I am certain it is not intended to and I completely accept that most days I AM an idiot....and I usually feel like a dolt by the end of the day.

Yes, I agree that it looks good on paper and should work. I am pondering those very things right now. I have to work harder and I have to seek to combine and lower my ideals (my expectations for how much and how many subject areas).

Trying to cycle through the kids...working hard on a schedule and using "tutoring blocks". My 6 year old is fabulous with the toddler. So, yes, we are implementing those things though certainly not in perfection. We are definitely in process here...

My oldest child is 8 and he is the most challenging to work with. He is a cheerful, smart guy but extremely distractible. Not reliable. Not organized. :D He takes a lot of time to TRAIN.... doesn't leave a lot of room for actual school work and we're probably going to take the summer to work on training. However, I find that having some schoolwork aids in the training process.

I am not a young Mom but I am a Mom of young children and highly inexperienced. I do not come from a background of being taught or trained. I am learning with my children and I have had to grow up in my adulthood. The scope and sequence of a 3rd grade grammar text overwhelms me. Math Mammoth 3rd grade scares me. There are about 100 different choices for "phonics" ...and 100 different philosophies about how to go about EVERY SINGLE SUBJECT. How do I figure out who to listen to? Does that make sense? I am just struggling to figure out the right path (at least a path to embark on whether or not we stay there) and to choose the right materials to help me teach the kids the most important things in the most efficient way. Not to mention that I care very much about their hearts and character....

I cannot "teach grammar as we go" because I don't KNOW GRAMMAR. I have nothing to fall back on to teach intuitively in any subject (except perhaps Bible).

Really, I just needed to SAY something about feeling overwhelmed because I am bursting. :001_smile: I wish I could send the kiddos outside...but we don't have a yard and the weather has been iffy.

Thanks for the hugs and the advice and the well wishes and for identifying with the struggles. :001_smile:

lovetobehome · May 3, 2011

Right here with you...it is the end of the year. We all are broken down and weary. I have been calling around to check out schools, which means I am truly burnt out.

Get them as independent as you can...for me, HOD has helped a lot with that....my son did CtoC this year, and almost all of it has been done on his own. If I want to join in, I can, but mainly I do not because I do not have time. I am hoping I can muster the energy to do Prep next year with DD and that will prepare her to get independent with CtoC by the following year. I would love to focus on my 4yo a bit, but for now he is playing and destroying and distracting.

I am actually considering getting Switched on Schoolhouse to fill in for when I don't get to history and science with my daughter. Might I feel less guilt if she gets some of those subjects in on her own? I don't know. I just know they need to get more independence. We as homeschoolers often have the tendency to do everything with them for longer than we need to. In PS, they aren't having mom hold their hand while they do their language arts, etc....so they must be capable, right? This is what I keep telling myself about my daughter. She is dependent on me because I LET her be. I need to work on that.

HUGS....remember, it is the end of the year and EVERYONE I talk to right now is burnt out. Summer will help. We'll start back with more energy, enthusiasm, and all that. And so will they (we hope)!

lovetobehome · May 3, 2011

Oh, and another thing I plan to do is buy timers for each kid. Give them a certain amount of time for ea subject, or in HOD for each box. If they exceed the time, too bad, they have to stop and move on to the next thing and then do the rest for homework. I think this will help a LOT with dawdling. Because my kids could get it all done super fast if they stayed on task. Instead, I find my son drawing pictures or writing letters in Greek when he is supposed to be doing history. Or my DD will be transfixed with the 3yo's playthings. This stuff is fine, but it makes our day forever long. I think they would learn quickly if they had timers, to work efficiently, and then have time to play later.

abrightmom · May 3, 2011

Oh, hugs to you. I could have written this post last week! I sat down with my husband and just vented for two whole hours and his response: "Place the responsibility on their shoulders."

I was trying to do everything for every one; and, like you've said, I just can't do it all. So we came up with an idea to counteract the immature, "I just want to play" mentality of our children. Now we have a big activity at the end of the "school day" that's lots of a fun--art, play-doh, whatever they happen to be into at the moment; and if the schoolwork that needed to be completed is done by the end of school, then they get to participate. If their work's not done, then they keep working while I play with the others in the activity. I no longer sit alongside and hold their hand and help them to focus on their work because it's their responsibility to do their work and they have to learn how to do that by themselves. No more harping from me. If they don't do the work, they don't get the play--it's an important life lesson that needs to be learned early in life.

I'm going to look into dividing up more of the chores. My oldest is seven and seven year olds are capable of many things. So's my five year old. I was able to keep all the balls in the air for a long time there, but now there's just too many people in this family for me to do it all anymore. I need help taking care of myself and five other people!

Don't be so hard on yourself, you're doing a great job. My husband was telling me last night that one of the hardest things for a company to handle is growth...having the wisdom to realize when they've reached maximum capacity for the time being and saying "No" to taking on any new customers and responsibilities until they get everything going smoothly at their new size. Perhaps this is just the point for both you and I where we've reached our maximum capacity for the moment and we need to learn how to manage it all before taking on anything extra. Families aren't designed to have just one person doing all the work...it's tough for me to delegate and let go of certain chores and responsibilities, but so much better for all of us if we all share the work.

Big hugs...take a deep breath. You're the one in charge and you know what's best for them, that's why you're the parent. Re-group a bit if you need to.

This post made me cry....:grouphug:

Screen time is HUGE to my kids because they get very little of it :glare:. DH is willing to allow me to use the incentive of a daily dose of "screen time" in this manner. I am working on that...We do have a Wii (though currently in storage as we scaled back liberties for our oldest dear son), a TV and computers. I am working on acquiring some good videos (history, science, fun like Little House which they love) to use for this time. My oldest is especially motivated if he knows he gets to "plug in".

I GUESS I NEED PERMISSION TO DO WHAT I NEED TO DO TO KEEP EVERYBODY MOVING FORWARD EVEN IF IT MEANS THAT MY CLASSICAL/CM IDEALS ARE OUT THE WINDOW AND I NEED TO KNOW WITH A FAIR DEGREE OF CERTAINTY THAT BY NOT DOING EVERY THING EVERY DAY AND IN EVERY SEASON I AM NOT GOING TO ACADEMICALLY OR SPIRITUALLY RUIN MY CHILDREN.

I am a woman who wants to hold fiercely to my ideals and they are being ripped out of my hands right now.:D I am grieving this and trying to come to grips with it. It has humbled me...

:001_smile:

heritageofthelord · May 3, 2011

To me it sounds like you need to find some options the kids can work more independently on. My 10 yr old works ind. on everything except spelling, history and science. My 8 and 6 year olds work ind. on math, reading and handwriting. If they are not reading on their own yet I would start with the oldest and work with her until that takes off, this is the biggest step towards them being able to work on their own. If you have at least a few subjects they can work on by themselves then you can work individually with each one on what you need to while the others are doing their own thing.

lovetobehome · May 3, 2011

Oh, and I just talked to our local PS. I was discussing my daughter, wondering if she has a LD and the psychologist was actually really good. I was totally honest with her about my shortcomings, and she was really reasonable and helpful. But I told her that my DD tested well in LA and math, but not well in Sci and Hist. I told her I wasn't surprised, because I rarely get to those things with her. And she said that in PS they really don't do much in the way of Sci and History until 4th grade. So, there. If you can manage math and some LA, the rest is gravy. I know you are like me and want to do so much more. But we do have to remember what is most important at this age---learning to read and write, and math, and manners and habits. As they get older and mor eindependent, they can do more of those other subjects on their own.

What I decided, after my crisis this month (which was really, really bad), was to make a list of my goals for homeschooling. Pros and cons. What came out on top was helping my children learn to know and love the Lord and family relationships. Without those two things, you can have all the academics and make a genius, but they won't live a very satisfying life. A brain surgeon whose family is a mess is not going to be a happy camper. So, I decided to keep school in its place, not let it interfere with life and family. If my children love the Lord and know how to love their spouses and children, I will have succeeded. And, I think if they have those things in place, they can't help but be successful in other areas of life. Deep breath, my friend....you're doing just fine.

Put on a Bill Nye science video and call that science. Liberty Kids is history. That's what I am doing this last week of school!

Merry · May 3, 2011

I come from a similar background as yours, I think. I was not very well educated. And I had no experience with children until I had my own. So I used Calvert with my kids to help fill the holes in my own education. Over the years, I started using Calvert only in fourth grade and up. The younger ones got the basic 3R's from elsewhere. As for the Latin and other enrichment stuff, well, forget it. They didn't start the Latin until junior or high school, and even then got very little of it. If I were to start over with little ones nowadays, I think I would pick one level of HOD or Sonlight for the third or fourth graders and get the readers for the younger ones and also use basic curriculum for the 3R's for all the lower grades to keep it simple. Don't try to pick up little pieces of curriculum here and there like phonics from one company and grammar from another and writing from yet another company. Try to get the basic stuff from one company like BJU or HOD if you can so that the pieces hang together and reinforce one another. Just remember, you don't have to include everything like right now. If they don't get Latin or history now, they will eventually pick it up later on.

Homeschooling6 · May 3, 2011

It's posts like this that make me feel like an idiot....:glare: I am certain it is not intended to and I completely accept that most days I AM an idiot....and I usually feel like a dolt by the end of the day.

Yes, I agree that it looks good on paper and should work. I am pondering those very things right now. I have to work harder and I have to seek to combine and lower my ideals (my expectations for how much and how many subject areas).

Trying to cycle through the kids...working hard on a schedule and using "tutoring blocks". My 6 year old is fabulous with the toddler. So, yes, we are implementing those things though certainly not in perfection. We are definitely in process here...

My oldest child is 8 and he is the most challenging to work with. He is a cheerful, smart guy but extremely distractible. Not reliable. Not organized. :D He takes a lot of time to TRAIN.... doesn't leave a lot of room for actual school work and we're probably going to take the summer to work on training. However, I find that having some schoolwork aids in the training process.

I am not a young Mom but I am a Mom of young children and highly inexperienced. I do not come from a background of being taught or trained. I am learning with my children and I have had to grow up in my adulthood. The scope and sequence of a 3rd grade grammar text overwhelms me. Math Mammoth 3rd grade scares me. There are about 100 different choices for "phonics" ...and 100 different philosophies about how to go about EVERY SINGLE SUBJECT. How do I figure out who to listen to? Does that make sense? I am just struggling to figure out the right path (at least a path to embark on whether or not we stay there) and to choose the right materials to help me teach the kids the most important things in the most efficient way. Not to mention that I care very much about their hearts and character....

I cannot "teach grammar as we go" because I don't KNOW GRAMMAR. I have nothing to fall back on to teach intuitively in any subject (except perhaps Bible).

Really, I just needed to SAY something about feeling overwhelmed because I am bursting. :001_smile: I wish I could send the kiddos outside...but we don't have a yard and the weather has been iffy.

Thanks for the hugs and the advice and the well wishes and for identifying with the struggles. :001_smile:

I'm in the same boat. This is why I've struggled so much with homeschooling in those early years (not that I have it all figured out). Thankfully my dh is very organized and has tried to help me. He can get this house whipped into shape better and faster than I can.

With school, your dc are still young. Use copywork to introduce the basics, noun, adjectives, verbs etc. Use something like FLL 1 & 2. Look over what it teaches, so when you see it in the passage you can point it out. Eventually you'll move them to something like GWG or FLL+. But for now, since you are a bit overwhelmed I would start simple (copywork).

I'm cooking dinner, so sorry, if my post seems choppy, but I just wanted to add that I've been there and (((hugs))).

Oh, and remember, take one lesson at a time. Take one day at a time. When you get out of bed, don't think of the long list. Just start by picking up a TM or subject and go :D

crazymom4 · May 3, 2011

I know you are giving HOD a run and you do need to give it a go to be fair to yourself...but this is just from someone who LOVES HOD...on paper....but implementing it in my house didn't fit my family....they wanted sit down on the couch cuddle up with me time and I couldn't be in 3 guides in 3 different time periods...I lost what mind I had left :lol:....we dropped it earlier this year and we are just settling in to what works now...which has to include...what I like, but what I am also capable of doing...you could check out Queens A Living History of Our World...I did Volume I this year with my 2nd dd and everyone is doing Volume II next year...it is simple when it needs to be and I can throw in extra books on a day I have time or we are interested...

But FWIW...I totally feel your pain and frustration...you want to do what's right...that's why you have them home, but reality meets you square in the face every time you wake up! We live in a small town where the school is just down the road...I mentioned to my children....several times this year...to put on your shoes and get walking....;)

8filltheheart · May 3, 2011

It's posts like this that make me feel like an idiot....:glare: I am certain it is not intended to and I completely accept that most days I AM an idiot....and I usually feel like a dolt by the end of the day.

Yes, I agree that it looks good on paper and should work. I am pondering those very things right now. I have to work harder and I have to seek to combine and lower my ideals (my expectations for how much and how many subject areas).

T

Really, I just needed to SAY something about feeling overwhelmed because I am bursting. :001_smile: I wish I could send the kiddos outside...but we don't have a yard and the weather has been iffy.

Thanks for the hugs and the advice and the well wishes and for identifying with the struggles. :001_smile:

I'm sorry you feel like I am attempting to make you feel like an idiot, b/c that is not my intent. Neither would I reply it's okay, you're doing a good job, don't worry to someone who posted HELP! in their title and

Ladies,

Figuring out what to do with homeschooling has become an extreme discouragement.

b/c being overwhelmed is not a fun place to be and certainly not one where you want to remain.

If you would like honest help in figuring out how you can change things to make things run more smoothly, trying to understand why they aren't is the only way to do it.

I have been overwhelmed. I have had a child that I couldn't control (literally, not figuratively.) I have had to juggle multiple needs simultaneously.

However, if you simply want :grouphug: and kudos, I will not respond. From personal experience that means that tomorrow you will probably wake up with the same issues and problems unless you have the answers yourself. In that case, asking for help was probably not necessary.

I am not one for glazing over issues. I'd rather deal with them and have a healthier home atmosphere.

huntchaos · May 3, 2011

What I decided, after my crisis this month (which was really, really bad), was to make a list of my goals for homeschooling. Pros and cons. What came out on top was helping my children learn to know and love the Lord and family relationships. Without those two things, you can have all the academics and make a genius, but they won't live a very satisfying life. A brain surgeon whose family is a mess is not going to be a happy camper. So, I decided to keep school in its place, not let it interfere with life and family. If my children love the Lord and know how to love their spouses and children, I will have succeeded. And, I think if they have those things in place, they can't help but be successful in other areas of life. Deep breath, my friend....you're doing just fine.

Thank you! I seriously needed to hear that today:001_smile:

abrightmom · May 3, 2011

I'm sorry you feel like I am attempting to make you feel like an idiot, b/c that is not my intent. Neither would I reply it's okay, you're doing a good job, don't worry to someone who posted HELP! in their title and b/c being overwhelmed is not a fun place to be and certainly not one where you want to remain.

If you would like honest help in figuring out how you can change things to make things run more smoothly, trying to understand why they aren't is the only way to do it.

I have been overwhelmed. I have had a child that I couldn't control (literally, not figuratively.) I have had to juggle multiple needs simultaneously.

However, if you simply want :grouphug: and kudos, I will not respond. From personal experience that means that tomorrow you will probably wake up with the same issues and problems unless you have the answers yourself. In that case, asking for help was probably not necessary.

I am not one for glazing over issues. I'd rather deal with them and have a healthier home atmosphere.

Gosh, I don't know what to say. I'm sorry...

I do think it is O.K. to give hugs and encouragement to a Mom who is working hard but struggling in finding her way. Practical, no nonsense counsel works too. I do appreciate that. Home education is not for the faint of heart.... my heart is faint and some days I do feel like I am hanging on by a thread. The threat of utter failure stares me in the face constantly. It is intimidating me in this season....

I am sorry. Perhaps I should NOT have posted. :confused:

I guess that I struggle with expectations....maybe?! Reading TWTM or other tomes about home education and then trying to fit my family to those ideals or paradigms....not sure how to do that. Perhaps I just need to continue to try and over time I will figure out what works. The fear of forgetting something important or neglecting something important is hovering over me. I guess I am struggling to decide who to listen to when so many voices are speaking out about what matters in educating a child...

abrightmom · May 3, 2011

I know you are giving HOD a run and you do need to give it a go to be fair to yourself...but this is just from someone who LOVES HOD...on paper....but implementing it in my house didn't fit my family....they wanted sit down on the couch cuddle up with me time and I couldn't be in 3 guides in 3 different time periods...I lost what mind I had left :lol:....we dropped it earlier this year and we are just settling in to what works now...which has to include...what I like, but what I am also capable of doing...you could check out Queens A Living History of Our World...I did Volume I this year with my 2nd dd and everyone is doing Volume II next year...it is simple when it needs to be and I can throw in extra books on a day I have time or we are interested...

But FWIW...I totally feel your pain and frustration...you want to do what's right...that's why you have them home, but reality meets you square in the face every time you wake up! We live in a small town where the school is just down the road...I mentioned to my children....several times this year...to put on your shoes and get walking....;)

Yep, I think this is my reality. Admittedly, I am a VP/Sonlight/maybe MFW Mom....I just keep thinking that HOD is better. But it won't fit us. I have to face it. And I have been so darn stubborn about it too. Drat.

OK Family · May 3, 2011

I have a 7 1/2, 4 1/2 and 3 1/2. (3 1/2 is pretty demanding, I don't do much schoolwork with her)

I too am making a 36 week schedule. Each week will just say day 1, day 2 etc. I will be doing a 4 day schedule, we attend classical conversations which is weekly memorization. You could do a 4 day schedule and use the 5th day to do any unfinished work.

Or you can just focus on the basics.

Do SOTW for history for all, they also have it on audio!

There also are alot of audios online for free that you could play for read-alouds. I think it would be good to take a breather from time to time. some days read, other days play the audio.

I thought I would share a real good audio that is free, I haven't listened to all of it I really am saving it for the fall with my then 3rd grader:

All 7 books from the Chronicles of Narnia. I don't know the exact link but I know you can download it into itunes. It was on ancient faith radio. there was a link on www.freelyeducate.com. That is how I found it.

Really I don't have any profound advice, I just know how stressful it can be. Just figure out what is the most important for your children to learn and focus on that. Do other subjects as you can. Hang in there.

Annie Laurie · May 3, 2011

Remember, don't let the perfect get in the way of the good. It's going to be okay :grouphug:.

This is something I needed to hear, I'm going to hang that on my wall.

abrightmom, I can commiserate and am trying to figure things out too. Thanks for starting this thread. :grouphug:

Homeschooling6 · May 3, 2011

Katrina, another thing that keeps me going when I have my 'am I doing enough or right days' is, the number one reason at our house for homeschool is to raise followers of Christ. My end goal is to raise my children in Christ, with a strong foundation of the Word.

Academics is also really important too, but in the light of eternity, knowing Jesus is the ultimate goal here at Homeschooling6. I know if I give it to Christ (of course this means doing school and doing the best I can) he will see us through. He will not fail us.

I'm scared so many times that I'm not going to produce a good writer, math kid etc. that sometimes I lose sight of my end goal.

I do know that my children do need to know how to do math, write a good essay and spell. I know it's my responsability to teach my kids these things.

I guess what I'm trying to say, is wake up each morning, give the day to the Lord, ask him to show you what needs to get done. Do it with excitement and joy in your heart (not saying you don't already). If you don't get something in today, thank-goodness there is a tomorrow and we can try again ;)

Mommyfaithe · May 3, 2011

This post made me cry....:grouphug:

Screen time is HUGE to my kids because they get very little of it :glare:. DH is willing to allow me to use the incentive of a daily dose of "screen time" in this manner. I am working on that...We do have a Wii (though currently in storage as we scaled back liberties for our oldest dear son), a TV and computers. I am working on acquiring some good videos (history, science, fun like Little House which they love) to use for this time. My oldest is especially motivated if he knows he gets to "plug in".

I GUESS I NEED PERMISSION TO DO WHAT I NEED TO DO TO KEEP EVERYBODY MOVING FORWARD EVEN IF IT MEANS THAT MY CLASSICAL/CM IDEALS ARE OUT THE WINDOW AND I NEED TO KNOW WITH A FAIR DEGREE OF CERTAINTY THAT BY NOT DOING EVERY THING EVERY DAY AND IN EVERY SEASON I AM NOT GOING TO ACADEMICALLY OR SPIRITUALLY RUIN MY CHILDREN.

I am a woman who wants to hold fiercely to my ideals and they are being ripped out of my hands right now.:D I am grieving this and trying to come to grips with it. It has humbled me...

:001_smile:

Ok....listen to me. I have been around this block for a long time...and as an older woman...with older grown children...I give you permission to put your ideals on a shelf...admire and aspire to them, then get down to the real...and not the ideal.

Homeschooling goes through seasons. Right now you have little kids. Even you oldest is a little kid. To put it in perspective...your oldest is the same age as one of my youngest....There is plenty of time.

Don't kick your own butt. That is just too self defeating. Set a school time...say 9-12... And during that time focus on the 3 r's. Have Lunch, naps, cuddle time...and work in books that are both beautiful and educational. You would be surprised at how many books we read aloud at bedtime. :D.

One thing I did learn...I always start with my most pain in the rear kid...get him done...and then move on. I was always teaching him last....and his classes got dropped the most because I was tired and he is just so much work. I let my other kids know I was going to work with him first and they had the option of doing as much as they could independently or they could play and then work later on into the day. They chose to work independently...and I found they could do a great job. I do teach them the new lessons daily, but they have taken the responsibility of there learning onto themselves.

I know how hard it is to have certain dreams for school, or kids, or their sports or whatever, and have to give them up. It is hard. But, it is also realistic. I had dreams of a warm cushy CM school...with art prints, classical music playing on the background as my darling recited his new memorized verses and children who looked up at me with dreamy eyes while we read Shakespeare....ummmmm......then I got these kids!! These kids who LIKE workbooks....and cover their ears and run outside...barefoot...in their undies half the time....when I have the classical station on.

Take a nice deep breath and take some time to reevaluate what you would like to accomplish...then set realistic goals...then make up a plan to reach those goals.

:grouphug::grouphug:

Faithe....who also has to choose between real and ideal daily.

abrightmom · May 3, 2011

Ok....listen to me. I have been around this block for a long time...and as an older woman...with older grown children...I give you permission to put your ideals on a shelf...admire and aspire to them, then get down to the real...and not the ideal.

Homeschooling goes through seasons. Right now you have little kids. Even you oldest is a little kid. To put it in perspective...your oldest is the same age as one of my youngest....There is plenty of time.

Don't kick your own butt. That is just too self defeating. Set a school time...say 9-12... And during that time focus on the 3 r's. Have Lunch, naps, cuddle time...and work in books that are both beautiful and educational. You would be surprised at how many books we read aloud at bedtime. :D.

One thing I did learn...I always start with my most pain in the rear kid...get him done...and then move on. I was always teaching him last....and his classes got dropped the most because I was tired and he is just so much work. I let my other kids know I was going to work with him first and they had the option of doing as much as they could independently or they could play and then work later on into the day. They chose to work independently...and I found they could do a great job. I do teach them the new lessons daily, but they have taken the responsibility of there learning onto themselves.

I know how hard it is to have certain dreams for school, or kids, or their sports or whatever, and have to give them up. It is hard. But, it is also realistic. I had dreams of a warm cushy CM school...with art prints, classical music playing on the background as my darling recited his new memorized verses and children who looked up at me with dreamy eyes while we read Shakespeare....ummmmm......then I got these kids!! These kids who LIKE workbooks....and cover their ears and run outside...barefoot...in their undies half the time....when I have the classical station on.

Take a nice deep breath and take some time to reevaluate what you would like to accomplish...then set realistic goals...then make up a plan to reach those goals.

:grouphug::grouphug:

Faithe....who also has to choose between real and ideal daily.

:bigear::bigear::bigear: I ADORE this post. Thank-you THANK-YOU for speaking straight about IDEALS and what is REAL. Yes, my boys would love to run outside in their underwear and sing Holy Holy Holy like it's a rock song. :glare:

The fog is lifting....but it does take courage and fortitude to trade ideal for real. Boy am I a stubborn idealist. Perhaps this is what God is doing in me right now.... teaching me to trust Him to lead me instead of trusting the awesome curriculum plan written by someone else that covers every base perfectly and will turn out perfect children.

AngelBee · May 3, 2011

Well, I'm not sure how a home school Mom should approach "researching options". Goodness, there is a lot to learn and consider. In order to make a choice from a HUGE pile of options we have to cover all the bases. There are a variety of philosophies, a variety of approaches, a variety of subjects, etc. Each one needs to be handled and I want to familiarize myself with all of the options so that I can make my grid for filtering....

I really don't think I am "over thinking". Discussing options & possibilities, toying with pros & cons, asking questions, etc. IS my responsibility. I HAVE to think and cover all the bases. Partly, it is the kind of woman that I am. I simply cannot (and will not) "just choose something and go with it". That doesn't work for my teaching style and I'm sure that many of you identify. Fitting Mama is as important as fitting the kids.

I am funneling, processing, and fitting my ideals to my reality. That is a process requiring a lot of thinking:001_smile:

Angel Bee,

My top 5 are Bible, English studies (reading, writing, grammar), literature, history and math. My oldest 3 need to be combined for content. :001_smile:

Really, it's just a vent....to say that my IDEAL and my REALITY are not getting along and it is beyond frustrating. :001_smile: I don't like having to give up "ideal" but it is something I am being forced to lay down. Boy does that upset me! :D

:grouphug: You do not know how much I can relate to what you are saying. I am just like you! Only add a newborn, 11 yr old and a senior in high school to the mix! :::dizzy::: :lol:

I see the good in so many programs and spend so much time researching that I sometimes miss the boat on actually working with my children. :( Not saying you are doing the same, but it can be a slippery slope.

CanaryMelody · May 3, 2011

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

I can absolutely understand where you are coming from. I have a 13yo, 6yo, 3yo, and a VERY precocious toddler 18month old. Most days it is everything I have just to keep up with the littlest DS. Most days DS2 makes me feel like an idiot who has never had 13 years of parenting under her belt. :tongue_smilie: Yet with all the attention DS2 requires, DD1 needs a lot of one-on-one time as she gets caught up in subjects and prepares for high school, DD2 needs alot of attention to get reading and learn math, and DS1 is chomping at the bit eager to learn. But I find the ideal I have to homeschool them in a CM/Classical manner is so much different than reality. But it doesn't stop me from trying. I just have to work with what I have at the moment and press on... one day at a time.

First I try to have as much filed/copied/ready as possible. For all 36 weeks. I always ensure I have blank worksheet/color page copies for the baby to scribble on while working phonics or math with DD2 and DS1. In fact, I have extra blocks, abacus, etc just for him. He always wants to do exactly what his brother and sisters are doing. Having "special" toys does not work in my home. He has to copy them. So having extra manipulatives/books/worksheets/etc. is what I do.

Last year we were semi-successful implementing this schedule:

Mornings - work with the littles... mostly together. Oldest works independently.

So we do together: Bible reading, Memory verse, and hymn study on the couch; then we go to our children's table for Phonics pathway, ETC, and math (last year MUS, this year Singapore).

Afternoons - We do a group study (even with oldest DD) of History (MOH) and Science (Apologia). Then the littles are entertained by play-doh (which they don't get often) or the TV (yes, you have my permission!) while I work with my oldest DD1. Sometimes I take the littles outside to play and move DD1's lessons outside.

This worked fairly well. One-on-one attention is given from the youngest to the oldest. And with the exception of Phonics, Math, and Bible, not every subject needs to be every day. And sometimes because DS2 decides to use a bowl as target practice for peeing and the dog just vomited, we just call it a day.

I get frustrated many many days but I just keep reminding myself that this is but a season. Before I know it, they all will be older and my idea of a CM/Classical education will become more of a reality. But I will also long for when they were younger. My oldest just turned 13 today. A teenager! It was just yesterday when she was just like DS2 and I was lamenting how I would ever survive her early years. **sniff**

RootAnn · May 3, 2011

First, from a mom of many to another mom of many. :grouphug:

Second:

How do I figure out who to listen to? Does that make sense?

You should do your research, pray about it, talk with a DH or trusted friend (if those are possibilities), & then listen (to God, your own instincts). Isn't that how you figure out how to raise your kids everyday? I know I would much rather figure out curriculum than figure out how to deal with my oldest's mood swings & the start of hormones/preteen stuff. I do both, but curriculum is more "fun" for me.

Third:

Ideal is what you dream up before you have to deal with reality. IMO, SL + Phonics Road + Math + your extras seems just fine with me. If that got it done in my house and fit my budget, that'd match my ideal.

Fourth:

I love the quote someone put on here & it bears repeating. The best program is the one that gets done. So, that's the one I would pick! Whatever gets done.

:grouphug: Again. And stop to have fun with the kids whenever possible. It is so easy to sweat the small stuff until you lose one (as two of my friends have in the last year).

CanaryMelody · May 3, 2011

I see the good in so many programs and spend so much time researching that I sometimes miss the boat on actually working with my children. :(

:iagree: I am horrible about this. The grass is always greener, too. My DH is always after me to stop "researching and planning" and just start teaching.

silliness7 · May 3, 2011

..and 100 different philosophies about how to go about EVERY SINGLE SUBJECT. How do I figure out who to listen to? Does that make sense? I am just struggling to figure out the right path (at least a path to embark on whether or not we stay there) and to choose the right materials to help me teach the kids the most important things in the most efficient way. Not to mention that I care very much about their hearts and character....

I struggle with knowing who to listen to, too. I've read so many books and articles and flipped through so many catalogs and tried out so many different things. It is insane. In the end I defaulted to doing what was comfortable to me because it was familiar. My favorite subjects are math, grammar, and science because they are textbook centered. That is familiar to me. I get it. I can work with it. But I think the only reason the science text is working for me is because it is Apologia and it is fun and interesting to read because I didn't like science texts in school. I also despise, despise reading textbooks and traditional history textbooks. Being a reader myself I am so drawn to the living books philosophy but I struggle with feeling like I'm implementing it well. Being one who despised, despised answering endless comprehension questions at the end of the chapter I was drawn to the concept of narration. And I can struggle with this too because I do like variety.

Anyway, I understand your need to vent and your frustration at feeling like you have to sort out all of the educational information out there. One thing I wish I would have done when I was a newer homeschooling mom was to pick what was comfortable for me and then each year focus on one thing that I wanted to improve. Maybe there were half a dozen things to improve, but to recognize that consistency is more important than any of a myriad other things that the "experts" yack at you about, and be content to improve ONE thing per year. Research the ONE thing, compare options, make a choice and implement it. Then the next year pick something else that feels like it needs improvement. ...wash, rinse, repeat.

:grouphug:

silliness7 · May 3, 2011

I GUESS I NEED PERMISSION TO DO WHAT I NEED TO DO TO KEEP EVERYBODY MOVING FORWARD EVEN IF IT MEANS THAT MY CLASSICAL/CM IDEALS ARE OUT THE WINDOW AND I NEED TO KNOW WITH A FAIR DEGREE OF CERTAINTY THAT BY NOT DOING EVERY THING EVERY DAY AND IN EVERY SEASON I AM NOT GOING TO ACADEMICALLY OR SPIRITUALLY RUIN MY CHILDREN.

Yes, Yes, Yes!!! That was what I was trying to get at in my previous post. Do what you need to do. Homeschool moms are only human. You can only do what you can do. There is no such thing as perfection. You are NOT going to ruin your kids.

AngelBee · May 3, 2011

It's posts like this that make me feel like an idiot....:glare: I am certain it is not intended to and I completely accept that most days I AM an idiot....and I usually feel like a dolt by the end of the day.

Yes, I agree that it looks good on paper and should work. I am pondering those very things right now. I have to work harder and I have to seek to combine and lower my ideals (my expectations for how much and how many subject areas).

Trying to cycle through the kids...working hard on a schedule and using "tutoring blocks". My 6 year old is fabulous with the toddler. So, yes, we are implementing those things though certainly not in perfection. We are definitely in process here...

My oldest child is 8 and he is the most challenging to work with. He is a cheerful, smart guy but extremely distractible. Not reliable. Not organized. :D He takes a lot of time to TRAIN.... doesn't leave a lot of room for actual school work and we're probably going to take the summer to work on training. However, I find that having some schoolwork aids in the training process.

I am not a young Mom but I am a Mom of young children and highly inexperienced. I do not come from a background of being taught or trained. I am learning with my children and I have had to grow up in my adulthood. The scope and sequence of a 3rd grade grammar text overwhelms me. Math Mammoth 3rd grade scares me. There are about 100 different choices for "phonics" ...and 100 different philosophies about how to go about EVERY SINGLE SUBJECT. How do I figure out who to listen to? Does that make sense? I am just struggling to figure out the right path (at least a path to embark on whether or not we stay there) and to choose the right materials to help me teach the kids the most important things in the most efficient way. Not to mention that I care very much about their hearts and character....

I cannot "teach grammar as we go" because I don't KNOW GRAMMAR. I have nothing to fall back on to teach intuitively in any subject (except perhaps Bible).

Really, I just needed to SAY something about feeling overwhelmed because I am bursting. :001_smile: I wish I could send the kiddos outside...but we don't have a yard and the weather has been iffy.

Thanks for the hugs and the advice and the well wishes and for identifying with the struggles. :001_smile:

The PP's post made me feel like a idiot too. :(

Not her intent I am sure, but I struggle with the same things you are. Wish we lived close. I would take you for some coffee. :D

AngelBee · May 3, 2011

I'm sorry you feel like I am attempting to make you feel like an idiot, b/c that is not my intent. Neither would I reply it's okay, you're doing a good job, don't worry to someone who posted HELP! in their title and b/c being overwhelmed is not a fun place to be and certainly not one where you want to remain.

If you would like honest help in figuring out how you can change things to make things run more smoothly, trying to understand why they aren't is the only way to do it.

I have been overwhelmed. I have had a child that I couldn't control (literally, not figuratively.) I have had to juggle multiple needs simultaneously.

However, if you simply want :grouphug: and kudos, I will not respond. From personal experience that means that tomorrow you will probably wake up with the same issues and problems unless you have the answers yourself. In that case, asking for help was probably not necessary.

I am not one for glazing over issues. I'd rather deal with them and have a healthier home atmosphere.

Taking notes from you and soaking up your wisdom. :grouphug:

Still feel like an idiot though. ;)

AngelBee · May 3, 2011

:iagree: I am horrible about this. The grass is always greener, too. My DH is always after me to stop "researching and planning" and just start teaching.

I am so guilty of this. :(

abrightmom · May 3, 2011

Thank-you for so many encouragements, ideas, rebukes, etc. All of them are welcome.... Boy, my mistakes are staring me in the face today!! I have tried to take my IDEAL (HOD) and force it to fit our family....I have really really beat this thing into a bloody pulp. Well ladies, it just isn't going to fit this crew. . . I have been so stubborn about it too . . .

So, I'm going back to the drawing board and I'll choose what I know "fits" and set "ideal" to the side...for now. I have a comfortable list of what I 'like' and what 'fits'...I just need to burn my HOD catalog.

The kids and I are going on a walk....it's not raining right now and the sun is sort of peeking through the clouds.

Angel Bee,

You are so sweet. I would love to sip coffee with you...and peek at those Phonics Road Level One notes. I bought Level One again and it arrived yesterday.... I am trying to reconstruct notes based on those left by the previous owner and my own memory. :)

Holly · May 3, 2011

How long have you been using HOD? You sounded like you are just starting? When we started last summer, it took us a few units before I could get everything done in a day. We did "Learning through History" one day, then "Learning the Basics" the next. After a few weeks, we were able to finish in a day. We now easily finish before lunch most days.

I've also made a few changes. Since we use ETC, I've decided to skip the spelling/dictation. I do add in dictation for my oldest about once a week. Next year I'm adding R&S Spelling for my oldest since it can be done independently...DS will continue with ETC. For English, we cover most of the lesson orally in about 10 minutes or less. Sometimes I give her a few problems to write out. I've let go of the idea that every box must be checked...I've also let go of the idea that we must complete every last math problem. :lol: Sometimes we skip a Storytime activity or the poem activity for the day...I think they'll survive. ;) My biggest goal each day is to get math and reading done...the rest is a bonus!

I also struggle with HSing and being a SAHM...I don't want to sound like I have it all figured out. We have days where nothing gets done, laundry piles up, toys are all over the house, and I clean up spills and messes non-stop. I get very overwhelmed with it all as well and need to vent. Sometimes I even need to get away for an hour or two in the evenings. :blush:

I hope you get a routine/curriculum that works (as well as a routine can in a house full of kids). :lol:

MelissaMinNC · May 3, 2011

...and 100 different philosophies about how to go about EVERY SINGLE SUBJECT. How do I figure out who to listen to? Does that make sense? I am just struggling to figure out the right path (at least a path to embark on whether or not we stay there) and to choose the right materials to help me teach the kids the most important things in the most efficient way.

Well...this makes sense to me. I can only tell you what has helped me when I get into a mental spiral. First and foremost - prayer. (Assuming you're a Christian, since you're using HOD and considering MFW.) I know that I periodically make big long lists of things I *want* to cover...and then I look at my kids, and my schedule, and our life...and I cross out all the things that realistically just aren't going to be covered - at least not with a curriculum, right at this moment.

I prayed and prayed to figure out not just what curriculum I want to use, but what are my biggest overarching priorities. 2 of the top things for me are: Christian worldview/Bible study well-integrated into the program, and teaching the content areas together. If you'd asked me a couple of years ago, I'd have probably said that by the time my oldest is 4th or 5th grade, I'd want her doing her history/science independently...then we'd achieved that and I realized it really wasn't working, and wasn't what I wanted.

I too like a classical/CM path - and have tried a few different curricula to get there. After a lot of praying, list-making, and evaluating of goals, priorities, etc., I started MFW with my 4th grader in Jan of this year. I had used the K program with her and then used several different things. This year, I'm using the K program again with my middle child. I also have a 1 year old. (Okay, he's almost 21 months now, and finally walking, so I guess officially a toddler - I'm still pretending he's a baby. :) )

All this is not to say that I haven't still had to pray for contentment. I keep asking God to remind me of why He led me to MFW in the first place - keep reminding me, when everything else looks soooo good, why this is the right choice for us.

The thing that I find most helpful in staying peaceful about my decisions is getting away from here - people talk about a lot of great stuff here! It's confusing, and distracting. Or, it can be. And put away all the catalogs. And just stop thinking about it - do something else that takes all my focus and concentration for a period of time until it's just not taking up all my mental energy anymore. And then, after a while, I can come back with a clearer head and no panic. Just....stop researching for a little bit - not forever - just a little bit, and listen to your own instincts.

It'll all be ok. Really. I can even say that because of all the HOD discussions here, I started to wonder what I was missing and requested a catalog. It came, and I looked through it. It looks wonderful - the programs are just lovely. And I know that it is absolutely not for us. It's so freeing to know!

It is hard when ideals and reality cannot be a united, blissful experience, isn't it? I know for me, I start thinking about all the things we're "not" doing, and it's helpful to think of all the extracurricular things that get done, and how those things meet some of my "school" goals. So I don't feel like it's not even being covered at all, kwim? (For instance...dd gets leadership/public speaking experience through a couple of her extracurriculars...so I don't have to feel bad that we haven't done a homeschool history fair.)

HTH - peace to you as you go through the process,

Melissa

The Well-Trained Mind Extended Guide

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