Do other people get this comment about their children?

[Murphy101]

We get that a lot too and always have. I agree, it's kind of sad that good manners are so rare that people are surprised to see them in kids.

 

I've gotten it too. Usually about DD being able to sit through church, or in a restaurant or something like that. Which surprises me. I mean, aren't 6 yr olds sitting for prolonged periods in school? Shouldn't MOST 6 yr olds be able to sit for the 20 or so minutes, maximum, that they're sitting in church before we get up to sing, or go forward for communion? Or sit and wait for a meal to be served?

 

I honestly don't think she's all that unusual-is she??

 

Us too. We have had people pay for our meals at restaurants because they enjoyed seeing our family of well behaved kids so much. Which is a very pleasant surprise when we ask for the ticket, but all the same we are kind of :001_huh: because we just figured our kids were acting fairly normal and not even unusually good.

 

Our priest keeps commenting on how boys will be boys and and kids will be kids and I shouldn't expect so much because they behave great. Um. Thanks. But Hello? Maybe they behave "great" BECAUSE of my expectations and efforts? Just a little bit because of that, ya think?:tongue_smilie:

[Rosie_0801]

It doesn't matter whether it is school, Children's Church, a birthday party, or a hayride. If the kids aren't wound up tighter than drums, screaming and jumping, the adults aren't happy.

 

Ugh, yeah. If the child isn't approaching meltdown within the next 5 mins, FUN isn't happening. It isn't FUN for my children to be eating strawberries and watching Sound of Music. They should be eating chocolate and watching cartoons where critters are getting blown up or are having pianos dropped on them.

 

Then as a young adult, I shouldn't have been having fun volunteering as a brownie leader because normal people have fun by getting drunk? So wholesome = bad, but activities that some might consider self destructive = fun and good. I think that's when I decided the adults in my life lacked some of the wisdom I'd been bought up to think they had. :tongue_smilie:

 

 

Rosie

[OnTheBrink]

My kids are past the age where people comment on how well-behaved they are. But I do seem to recall a time or two when they were younger that someone commented on their good behavior.

 

I have, however, had 3 people in the past 2 weeks tell me how brilliant they think dd is. Two of these people were even strangers! What can I say, she takes after her mother. *hair flip, nose tilt, smug expression*

[Mommyof4ks]

We get that a lot too and always have. I agree, it's kind of sad that good manners are so rare that people are surprised to see them in kids.

 

:iagree:

 

I have never had the nerve to ask what kinds of behavior they are used to. Maybe they are used to the kids we see running and screaming through WM on school holidays. :glare:

[AngelBee]

I get these comments, and it makes me wonder if people have ANY behavioral standards for their DC these days. DS is always trying my patience. He's generally on his best behavior in public, but he's 4. His best behavior can still be pushing Mommy's patience.

:lol:

[*Inna*]

Yes, quite a few people had made such comments about my girls. Haven't heard any about my boy - he's a little tornado. ;)

 

The best comment was from a lady who asked if we homeschool. She said she can always spot home schooled kids, because they make an eye contact and speak in whole sentences.

[Lovedtodeath]

I do on some of mine. On others I don't. It isn't always a matter of training. It is a large part personality.

:iagree:Thank you.

 

Sometimes it depends on what day it is as to whether I am complimented or not. ;)

 

For my daughter, adults are usually surprised that she carries on a conversation with them like another adult, and have said this very same things since she was barely 3.

 

For my son, adults are usually surprised that he is 4, not 2. ;)

 

On the subject of church: Our congregation expects an hour and a half of quiet sitting out of everyone, even babies learning how to walk. I hate that.

Edited April 28, 2011 by Lovedtodeath

[kmacnchs]

DH and just kind of chuckled, and said something like "Right"...and Riley responds with "Yes, just like that one kid...you know, the boy we used to have?" Total. awkward. silence. :lol:

 

that's the kind of joke my dh makes!!! that would have gotten a resounding laugh w/my family :lol:

[Lovedtodeath]

I have also found that my attitude is the difference. My son runs around the grocery store instead of staying in or with the cart. I just let him and clearly show that I am having a good time with it, and everyone else smiles at his adorableness too.:tongue_smilie:

 

As to personality... I have SID and ADD always have. I am quiet and well-behaved. I was the easiest child in the world. My DD has SID and ADD. She is a handful! I have never come across another kid that is so loud, dependent, argumentative... just a lot of work.

Edited April 28, 2011 by Lovedtodeath

[twoforjoy]

I wish. We have spent hours and hours and years and years trying to teach ds11 to say thank you, look people in the eye, etc. And I still have to remind him every time almost. When he was recently diagnosed with Aspergers I was actually relieved, because it meant he wasn't just plain rude.

 

Even for kids without special needs, I think it just takes some kids a lot longer to learn appropriate behavior than other kids, no matter how consistent or diligent the parents are.

 

I have been shocked at the difference between my two kids. For my DS, "no" has never meant "no," from the time he was born. He hears "no" and thinks "I'm going to try this another 5,678 times, just to make sure she's *really* serious about it." He's the kid who, when you say, "No jumping on the couch," jumps on the couch again two minutes later, and then says, "But I thought you meant no jumping on the couch *then*, not now." He's the kid who, when he got extra time in time out for standing up when he needed to be sitting, spent about ten minutes trying to convince me that he "wasn't standing--it was a new way of sitting!" This kid... :banghead: He's almost 7, and it's only been in the last few months that we've had any success with him sitting quietly and calmly through a church service. This is not for lack of trying, or lack of discipline, because we'd been trying for years. It just took that long for him to get the message (or to be able to actually have the self-control to act on the message).

 

My DD is so different. Even as a baby, if you say "No" to her in a firm voice, she bursts into tears, and stops doing whatever she was doing. At night, if she is sitting up in her crib, just hearing me come in there is enough to make her lay down and close her eyes. She does not want to upset us, and gets very upset herself when she does. She's a lot more like I was as a child; I was so afraid of upsetting people, and I was very compliant. I'm not convinced it was necessary the best way to be, but it certainly did make me an easy kid.

 

I just try to remind myself that behavior at 5 or 7 or 9 doesn't indicate adult behavior. It really doesn't. I don't know anybody--especially boys--who act the same as adults as they did when they were smaller children. I was, as I said, a very obedient, quiet, and compliant child, but I don't think anybody would have used those words to describe me after I hit 13 or 14! I made up for my easy early childhood by becoming a very strong-willed, argumentative, and exasperating teenager. My DH was a really loud, rambunctious, and (by his parents' admission) annoying little kid, but he ended up being a really quiet, reserved, polite adult. I always need to remind myself of this, when I'm feeling SURE that my son's behavior, at 6, is indicative of the fact that I've ruined him for life.

[Lovedtodeath]

I just try to remind myself that behavior at 5 or 7 or 9 doesn't indicate adult behavior. It really doesn't. I don't know anybody--especially boys--who act the same as adults as they did when they were smaller children. I was, as I said, a very obedient, quiet, and compliant child, but I don't think anybody would have used those words to describe me after I hit 13 or 14! I made up for my easy early childhood by becoming a very strong-willed, argumentative, and exasperating teenager. My DH was a really loud, rambunctious, and (by his parents' admission) annoying little kid, but he ended up being a really quiet, reserved, polite adult. I always need to remind myself of this, when I'm feeling SURE that my son's behavior, at 6, is indicative of the fact that I've ruined him for life.

I made up for my easy childhood (up to about 22) by becoming a very strong-willed, argumentative, and exasperating adult. :tongue_smilie: You can tell, right? :D