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BC Question


W/out bc, how many kids have you had on AVERAGE?  

  1. 1. W/out bc, how many kids have you had on AVERAGE?

    • 1 child/yr
      13
    • 1 child/2 yrs
      38
    • 1 child/3 yrs
      21
    • other
      29


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I wasn't on birth control when I first got married, thinking we'd be ok with kids pretty soon. I got pregnant my first cycle. I got pregnant again when my first daughter was nine months old and still breastfeeding. I wasted no time in getting on birth control after my second was born. :)

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We used no BC after having our second--well, we used "pull and pray," and figured we'd be safe for a year or so when I'd start charting--and I got pregnant seven months after my DD was born. Given that and that we got pregnant with DD my first cycle off of BC, we've decided that taking a "not trying, not preventing" approach would probably not work very well for us. ;)

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We've only used the pull-out method. We've been married for 8.5 years and conceived four times during that period of time. We were trying to conceive the first time; the other three times we were actively trying to avoid pregnancy (PO every single time during the month of conception), but it's not like I was charting or taking temps or anything.

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Guest Katia

We used no birth control at all.

 

1st was born 6 days before our 2nd wedding anniversary.

 

2nd was born 5 years later.

 

3rd was born 3 years later.

 

No more children/pregnancies in the 10 years following the birth of the last child.

 

I don't really see an 'average' there...sorry. Maybe I'm just not good with math. :D

 

ETA: Ok. This makes three children/pregnancies in 20 years with no birth control.

Edited by Katia
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Hmm....anytime I've had sex when I'm fertile I've concieved. I don't understand "not trying" but not using birth control or NFP. I mean, it's obvious when I'm fertile. If I have sex then, isn't that trying? If I avoid it knowing I'm fertile, isn't that birth control? How do you not do either of those? I guess, if you didn't know when you were fertile, but once you know, how do you avoid knowing?

 

totally confused.

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I think this is a really neat thing, every woman is so different. Having a baby each year if a couple doesn't use birth control is such a myth for most couples. Look at all of the couples who were only able to have 1 or 2 children, I know a lot off the board like that. They never used bc either.

 

We haven't used birth control except for a couple months here or there and we are due with #6 this August, the month we will be married 10 years. We've had the last 5 in 6 years but like I said, we weren't using NFP or abstinence or anything at all. One of my babies was a poor nurser, and that contributed to the close spacing because breastfeeding often (esp. at night) keeps my cycles away for quite awhile.

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4/96

"Planned/Prevented" spacing

Gap: 35/36 months

3/99

"Planned/Prevented" spacing

Gap: 23 months

2/01 (death @ 2 weeks, stopped pumping)

Gap: 10.5 months

12/01

Gap: 25 months

01/04 (stopped nursing @ 2.5 months)

Gap: 11.5 months

12/04

Gap: 21 months

9/06 (miscarriage just before Abigail was conceived)

Gap: 21 months

05/08 (miscarriage just before Sarah was conceived)

Gap: 19 months

12/09

Gap: 19 months

Due 07/11

 

 

We nursed with the exception of Rebecca until past we were pregnant with the next. We "eco" nursed - co-slept, didn't use pacifiers, nursed on demand, etc. Ana was 2 months old when we got married and we've been married almost (in June) 15 years.

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Well, I can't honestly answer the poll because I got pregnant three times while using BC (and twice while using BC and nursing). The longest I have gone between pregnancies was between 3 and 4, and 4 and now 5 when we used nothing.

 

DS7 to DS6 = 16.5 months (using BC)

 

DS6 to DD4 = 23 months (using BC)

 

DD4 to DD2 = 27 months (no BC)

 

DD2 to ?? = 33ish months (no BC)

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:iagree:Despite BF fulltime. My oldest two are 12 months and 1 week apart. People ask if they are twins all the time.

 

We have a set that are 11 months apart. The funny thing? People DON'T ask if they are twins ever... I think they just assume at this point? They're both the blondest two we have, exact same height/weight, etc.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hmm....anytime I've had sex when I'm fertile I've concieved. I don't understand "not trying" but not using birth control or NFP. I mean, it's obvious when I'm fertile. If I have sex then, isn't that trying? If I avoid it knowing I'm fertile, isn't that birth control? How do you not do either of those? I guess, if you didn't know when you were fertile, but once you know, how do you avoid knowing?

 

totally confused.

 

 

Well, I think "trying" has a connotation of planning TeA. We don't. We don't try or not try and it's a less obvious thing when you just begin to ovulate after having been anovulatory through several cycles of nursing. Not trying means not charting, not temping, not counting, etc. It just means living marital life and evenings like you would if you weren't ovulating... ;) If it happens, it happens, if it doesn't, it doesn't. ;)

 

And I do have several QF friends who have "tried" during fertile cycles and not conceived. It doesn't always work just the way you think it will.

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Hmm....anytime I've had sex when I'm fertile I've concieved. I don't understand "not trying" but not using birth control or NFP. I mean, it's obvious when I'm fertile. If I have sex then, isn't that trying? If I avoid it knowing I'm fertile, isn't that birth control? How do you not do either of those? I guess, if you didn't know when you were fertile, but once you know, how do you avoid knowing?

 

totally confused.

 

that's totally how I feel! So I prayed that the Lord would mess up my cycle if he wanted me to be pg - I was up for whatever but didn't know what *He* wanted - so he did & that's how #4 came about ;)

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. Having a baby each year if a couple doesn't use birth control is such a myth for most couples.

How, exactly, do you get this data? Are you accounting for couples that have not responded to this thread? My grandparents and parents both were in the the "baby a year" category, but I did not respond to the thread because I didn't feel I qualified, given the criteria given. My grandmother had 3 children 12 months apart, in consecutive Aprils, exclusively breastfeeding (and then had 3 more, but with different spacing, having learned the lessons preiously experienced). My mother had 4 children in 44 months, despite actively trying to prevent each and every pregnancy. I married at 35, had dd at 36, and ds at 39, using hormonal birth control during all periods I was not TTC. Certainly there are those for whom pregnancy does not automatically occur, but there are also those for whom pregnancy comes with all too often frequency. And yes, it does take both ends to make a bell curve.

 

One of my babies was a poor nurser, and that contributed to the close spacing because breastfeeding often (esp. at night) keeps my cycles away for quite awhile.

 

Clearly there is a wide spectrum of experience represented here. The pain of too frequent conception is offset by the pain of infertility. It doesn't make the pain of each any less, but gives us the overall snapshot of fertility rates of a group of individuals.

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Hmm....anytime I've had sex when I'm fertile I've concieved. I don't understand "not trying" but not using birth control or NFP. I mean, it's obvious when I'm fertile. If I have sex then, isn't that trying? If I avoid it knowing I'm fertile, isn't that birth control? How do you not do either of those? I guess, if you didn't know when you were fertile, but once you know, how do you avoid knowing?

 

totally confused.

My periods have never been regular and it's not obvious when I'm fertile.

 

Knowing when you're fertile and not having sex at those times, in an attempt to keep from getting pregnant is (from what I've read) Natural Family Planning (which I had to look up, because I had no idea what NFP stood for :lol:). IOW, what you're doing is NFP.

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I didn't answer the poll because I don't really qualify, but I used NFP for many years. We've been married 14 years and have 5 children. However the first four were closer in age, with this last baby being 5 years later than the others.

 

I now use a copper IUD (Paraguard).

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Well, we stopped using BC in 1999, and I've been pg (but had a m/c) once in that time.

 

I guess *somebody* has to be the end of the bell curve that balances the Duggars. :(

 

Lisa

 

Yup. I checked 'other'. We stopped after 2 yrs of marriage and had a m/c. Then went to a fertility Dr. (discovered some problems through). Had fertility treatments for 6 mos. with no preg. Went on the pill for several months to level things out. Then we didn't use BC for around 10 -12 yrs. And adopted our 2 girls. :001_wub:

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We used some BC before and after our first. Nothing for the past 6 years.

 

I've conceived 5 times in 6 years, but had 2 losses before 8 weeks. 3 successful (so far, one week left) pregnancies.

 

On average, 2 years between succesful pregnancies (3 yrs 2 months, 22 months, 2 38 week births, 1 39 week birth).

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I know many families that have never used contraception or didn't for many years. Here are some of my observations:

 

-One woman had at least ten miscarriages. Another had at least seven.

 

-If you exclude the gaps caused by miscarriages and exclude a few women with fertility trouble, the average age gap between babies (even for women age 38-43) is 19-21 months. I know know of very few gaps longer than two years. All these women breastfeed and many co-sleep.

 

-One family was going to be quiverful until she had four babies in four years. Number four was born shortly before number one's fourth birthday. They then decided to space the remaining babies out.

 

-Of these families, I'm slowly noticing more starting to use contraception or NFP to space their kids out a bit. It's sort if a secret with them.

 

-I've read Breastfeeding and Natural Child Spacing and while I realize that these women don't meet the author's criteria for "ecological breastfeeding," most of them are pretty close. I think the book's data is probably out of date and doesn't apply to our culture and diet. The book (and other quiverful materials) promotes the idea that a healthy woman without fertility trouble can space babies out 2-3 years with ecological breastfeeding. I seriously doubt this claim, based on my own observations. Besides, how can you claim a method like this works well and is easy to use when even one or two skipped feedings with an older baby could allow ovulation?

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I should clarify something. I don't mean to say that "ecological breastfeeding" can never space babies out 2-3 years, just that I think that on average, in America these days, babies will be more like 18-23 months apart.

 

I think new studies need to be done to see if women's periods are returning faster after birth than when the data was collected in the 1960s and 1970s. I know the sample of women I know might not be representative, but I know two other women besides myself that have their cycles return (and stay regular) within 2-3 months of birth, no matter what! My second baby nursed every 1 1/2 hours day and night and my period still came back at 10 weeks postpartum (up from 7 weeks with the first baby). I don't know when I started ovulating because I couldn't track my temps and the other signs were very, very unclear.

 

Anyway, while I only have anecdotal evidence, I wouldn't be surprised if hormones in the water, hormones in food, pesticide use, fatter women, etc. are causing fertility to return sooner after birth for many women.

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