s/o drinking

[Quad Shot Academy]

Are there any studies that show how kids fare when raised by parents that occasionally drink vs those that don't at all?

 

We met a family that does not think there is anything religiously wrong with drinking but chooses to tell their kids it is morally wrong so they won't drink at all. They do not drink at all anymore either. I was wondering if there are studies about this. Thanks!

[Copswife]

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Edited April 19, 2011 by Copswife
regret

[Guest Dulcimeramy]

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Edited April 19, 2011 by Dulcimeramy

[Copswife]

My pastor did a message on this, it was a long time ago. No, its not in the Bible, but if you reason through it - he was sinless and didn't want anything to numb him or take away from what He was doing. Why else would he refuse? Just thinking out loud.. :)

[nmoira]

My pastor did a message on this, it was a long time ago. No, its not in the Bible, but if you reason through it - he was sinless and didn't want anything to numb him or take away from what He was doing. Why else would he refuse? Just thinking out loud.. :)

So are you saying that Jesus never imbibed any alcohol, or is it just the vinegar in this one instance? If the latter, I can't follow the reasoning.

 

ETA This question is in reference to the "sinless" nature of Jesus. I get that the reason might have been that he did nit wished his suffering to be relieved.

Edited April 19, 2011 by nmoira

[Copswife]

edited

Edited April 19, 2011 by Copswife
regret

[MindyD]

I don't know of any studies, but I've been going back and forth on this as well. I was raised to believe that drinking is BAD! I also have an uncle that's been an alcoholic most of his life and my great grandfather was as well so that colored my family's thinking. For that reason alone, I'm very cautious about it. But the more I've looked at it, I just don't see any scriptural reason to not drink alcohol. It's very clear not to get drunk, but drinking a glass of wine with dinner? Having a beer once in awhile after the kids are in bed? I think those come down to personal liberities. I'm not going to judge someone for doing those things just like I won't judge people that comletely abstain.

As for hypocrisy, I don't see it. My kids know that we will occassionally have A drink. It's never in front of them, we've made it very clear that this is one of those things that adults get to do. It's not healthy for younger people, and it's against the law anyway until they're 21 so that's the end of the issue. I tell them the same thing about coffee (minus the law part!). But I'm still working this one through in my mind. That's my humble opinion. :)

[Daisy]

I hope you get a response to your ORIGINAL question. ;)

 

I have no clue but I'm interested.

[Mejane]

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Edited April 25, 2011 by Mejane
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[happi duck]

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[Copswife]

happi duck, that makes sense and I remember that being in the message, like I said it was a long time ago. But what is 'sour wine' exactly? Our wine, their wine, unfermented, fermented, alcohol added? I'm intrigued and am, by no means an expert. Interesting discussion..

[kokotg]

Are there any studies that show how kids fare when raised by parents that occasionally drink vs those that don't at all?

 

 

When I first read this, I thought you were asking if there's any evidence that drinking occasionally makes you a better parent. And I'd have to say yes. Some days I think it's very very good for my kids that I know I have a glass of wine to look forward to at the end of the day :lol:

 

(sorry...I know I'm still not doing anything to get the thread back to its original intent!)

[Guest Dulcimeramy]

I believe that Jesus drank wine. His first miracle was to turn water into wine. I also concur with happi duck concerning His last moments in which he did drink wine.

 

We can be opposed to alcoholism and even be convicted tee-totalers without making stuff up about Jesus. I grew up hearing various fairy tales about the Bible and wine, too.

 

My husband and I believe that drunkenness is a sin, but we do not believe that drinking is sin. We have zero judgment against any believers who drink wine or beer (or anything) in moderation. We don't believe that Jesus turned water into grape juice, or that unfermented wine was served at the Last Supper. We think it was wine. If Jesus partook of it, it is not sin for us to do so.

 

That said, we do not drink at all. Not a drop, ever. There is a definite genetic predisposition to alcoholism in my family, and we just choose to raise our family without alcoholic substances in the home.

[Daisy]

I believe that Jesus drank wine. His first miracle was to turn water into wine. I also concur with happi duck concerning His last moments in which he did drink wine.

 

We can be opposed to alcoholism and even be convicted tee-totalers without making stuff up about Jesus. I grew up hearing various fairy tales about the Bible and wine, too.

 

My husband and I believe that drunkenness is a sin, but we do not believe that drinking is sin. We have zero judgment against any believers who drink wine or beer (or anything) in moderation. We don't believe that Jesus turned water into grape juice, or that unfermented wine was served at the Last Supper. We think it was wine. If Jesus partook of it, it is not sin for us to do so.

 

That said, we do not drink at all. Not a drop, ever. There is a definite genetic predisposition to alcoholism in my family, and we just choose to raise our family without alcoholic substances in the home.

 

We believe the exact same way. I used to occasionally drink but I really felt convicted once my sister and brother admitted their problems with alcohol. We are a tea-totaling family now also.

[Copswife]

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Edited April 19, 2011 by Copswife
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[Tangerine]

I absolutely have read one. I hope I can find it.

[Teachin'Mine]

I hope you get a response to your ORIGINAL question. ;)

 

I have no clue but I'm interested.

 

Ditto! :)

[A.D.]

Jesus was life. Everything he touched, even dead people, came to life. Fermentation is a death process. Personally, I don't believe he ever drank fermented wine. But that is something we won't know for sure until heaven. So, its not something I usually go into, but you asked.

 

 

Really? So I assume you believe he was a vegetarian as well?

 

BTW, based on the culture at the time, there is no reasonable reason to believe that Jesus did not drink fermented wine, contrary to the fairy tales fabricated by certain groups.

[Guest Dulcimeramy]

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Edited April 19, 2011 by Dulcimeramy

[Snickerdoodle]

 

Fermentation is a death process.

I'm not following.

[8circles]

I can tell you why we don't drink and there are several reasons why. You are free to do this but this isn't what she's asking & you are putting this out there for people to discuss simply because you're posting it.

...

I do have to say one thing for your friends. They are living what they preach. I can't STAND when people say, "Don't drink" to their kids, then they drink. The same thing goes for smoking or anything! Kids smell hypocrisy and it stinks!

I understand what you're saying but I don't know anyone who says to their kids "Don't drink" & then does it. I know people who say "Don't drink until you're of age". I think there's a big difference.

 

 

OP, I don't know of a study but I'm interested. I think that the parents' attitudes about drinking are at least as important as whether or not they do it. I think that's harder to study.

[Copswife]

I never said it was fact, but said my opinion or what I believe. I even said its something we won't know for sure until heaven.

 

That said, I wish I never opened my mouth on the issue. I certainly didn't want to offend anyone or cause a ruckus... some issues are probably better left alone.

[Denise in Florida]

I will throw my 2 bits in on the original question. :001_smile:

 

This is not a scientific study simply my personal experience.

 

My parents were non-drinkers but not from a moral/religous standpoint, they just didn't drink (might have been a financial concern idk)

 

When I hit my teen years, I had ABSOLUTELY NO understanding of alcohol. I didn't know how much was too much, which drinks were more powerful, nothing. I looked like an idiot to my peers and I was pressured into 'trying' drinks, people slipped me stuff saying it was 'fruit juice' and I did not know how to react.

 

Now, nothing awful happened to me, my close friends were not malicious and while I knew they were mocking me they didn't mean me any harm. But with a different crowd it could have been very bad. In this case ignorance was dangerous.

 

Fast foward to now::auto:

 

My dh and I occasionally have wine and we usually by a six-pack of beer every 2 or 3 weeks. Obviously not big drinkers but it is around.

 

My girls are teens. I have explained the difference between having a drink and getting drunk. I have also explained that alchol is not evil in itself (my opinion) but must be used with good judgement by adults. I have also explained that the dangers come from impaired judgement not just while driving but in personal relationships.

 

I have told them that IF they or their friends drink I will come get them anytime, anywhere.

 

I have also warned them never to drink anything they did not open themselves or see poured for them. Never leave a drink unattended, and if you do throw it out and get a new one. Not just alcohol, anything ... soda included.

 

Realism is far safer than ignorance.

Edited April 19, 2011 by Denise in Florida

[Copswife]

OP,

 

I apologize for not really answering your question, even though it was sorta on topic. I'm just deleting my responses because I've obviously been misunderstood and certainly don't think my personal beliefs are fact, nor am I judging anyone who thinks otherwise.

 

Again, sorry!

[Guest Dulcimeramy]

OP, sorry for helping to derail your original topic.

 

I removed my unquoted posts because they don't make a lick of sense in light of copswife's deleting all of her posts.

[Lara in Colo]

In my personal experience, knowledge is better than no knowledge and controlled access is way better than ignoring the issue. My mother taught me to drink responsibly at a fairly early age. She drank wine, let me have some, same with mixed drinks. It was sort of a "no big deal". Like any other thing in life, we must teach our children about drinking and control and moderation. Talk (to your children)about losing control (I hate to have anything have control over me).

[Copswife]

OP, sorry for helping to derail your original topic.

 

I removed my unquoted posts because they don't make a lick of sense in light of copswife's deleting all of her posts.

 

I'm sorry. :(

[LizzyBee]

I don't know of any studies, but I hope someone finds one or more to post.

 

My gut feeling based on my own observations is that treating something as dangerous, evil, bad just makes many kids more anxious to try it. My kids rarely see me drink since I usually only have a drink if dh and I are on a date. However, I've told my kids that I have a drink occasionally, and drunkenness is a sin, but it's okay to have one or two as long as you're not driving and you're of legal age. I've also told them (not based on experience since I've never been high except on Stadol during my 1st dd's birth) that being high feels good, but using drugs will very often lead you down a path you don't want to be on. To paraphrase Mike Warnke, you might get high because you're a month behind on the bills, but when you sober up, you're two months behind and haven't done anything to solve the problem. I want to demystify the drinking/drugs issue because I think that might be more effective than simply telling them not to get drunk or use drugs.

Edited April 19, 2011 by LizzyBee

[Quad Shot Academy]

No worries on the derailment! I missed most of the posts before they were deleted. ;) Yes, I am not looking to discuss alcohol in a religious way. I am familiar with both sides of the debate. I was just really surprised by this family's way of thinking. My gut reaction was more along Lizzy Bee's. I would think parents not drinking (except for religious reasons) would have no effect on young people choosing to drink or not. But I am really curious if there are real studies on this!

 

One family we know started pouring out all their alcohol at the night's end when their son became a teen. Even if it was an unopened wine cooler, they would give it away or pour it down the drain, because they did not want the teen to be tempted. I thought that was shocking at first but then I realized that it made sense.

[angela in ohio]

I think, like anything else, you can't come up with a firm rule. Much as everyone would like to assume that those who don't allow their dc any ____ will have dc who crave it later, it just doesn't work out that simply. (insert candy, alcohol, pop, etc.) It really depends more on the parents' relationship with the child. You also have to think about how hard it is for us to break any habits we learned as dc. We really do continue in the "rails" from our childhood (with thanks to CM.)

 

We had a great chance to have a long talk with a toxicologist and professor who was writing a book about alcohol use and abuse. (We had chosen to stop drinking any alcohol because of a family history of alcoholism on both sides, but we wanted to make sure that was the best choice for our dc.) What he told us was that (1.) there is a genetic component to alcoholism, and (2.) students who grow up with no access to alcohol will drink less as adults.

 

That agrees with this study:

But, it was parents' rules that had the strongest effect, says Abar. Complete disapproval of teen drinking by parents was the most protective, even more than when parents allowed a limited amount of alcohol consumption.

 

A quick Google search finds this page with links to several other studies.

Edited April 19, 2011 by angela in ohio

[nmoira]

These don't directly answer the OP's question, but they're still interesting. I'm still looking, however. :)

 

Teens and Alcohol Study: After a Few Drinks, Parenting Style Kicks in

Parents Important for Keeping Adolescents Off Alcohol

Teens Drink More During Summer Before College, Study Finds

Curb The Pocket Money, Curb The Problem Drinking

Parental Monitoring of Opposite-Gender Child May Decrease Problem Drinking in Young Adults

 

Teens Who Drink With Parents May Still Develop Alcohol Problems

Contrast with:

Italian Youths Who Drink With Meals Are Less Often Adult Problem-Drinkers

 

ETA:

Dad, I Prefer the Shiraz

Edited April 19, 2011 by nmoira

[SailorMom]

Well - I was raised by two alcoholic parents, and while I count every drink I have - the alcohol is not the "evil" thing here.... Addiction is, and people can get addicted to just about anything, really.

 

I drink wine, and occasionally even a mai tai or something, however, in moderation and responsibly. When I was a teen, I didn't drink at all, and was the designated driver for most of my friends who did drink. My parents told me I should wait until I was of legal age.

 

My dh's parents did not drink at all, and basically believed alcohol was bad.... DH drank all through high school. He's fine now - drinks about as much as I do, I guess - but was FAR less responsible about alcohol, and saw it as some sort of magical forbidden fruit and the ultimate way of rebelling.

 

I have seen this pattern many many times.

 

I have a very balanced ( in my opinion ) attitude towards alcohol. I explain it all to my kids from a scientific perspective and a legal one. I truly think Europe has a much healthier attitude towards alcohol - and I think that if the US had similar laws, and teens/ young adults could learn the ropes at home, binge drinking at college would be far less of a problem. While not Christian now, I was - and never understood the anti-alcohol idea considerring the wine everyone drank then.....

 

I think it is absurd that you can marry, have kids, buy a house, vote, join the military, and drive - but have to wait three years to have a glass of wine.

[Meriwether]

I have only anecdotal evidence. I grew up in an alcohol-free home. The kids that we all hung out with mostly came from dry homes and did not drink in high school. Although some have tried alcohol, none of them are drinkers or alcoholics. On the other hand, many of my school friends grew up in homes where alcohol was given to the kids. Several of them were alcoholics by the time they were 15.:mad: Many are big drinkers, but I don't know them well enough anymore to know if they have a problem or if they just get drunk socially. I don't get why everyone always says, "If you don't allow alcohol, the kids will go crazy over it in college." I'm sure that happens. I don't think it happens to most kids. I think many more alcoholics (% wise) come from homes where they drink too early.

[Quad Shot Academy]

Thanks for the links Moria and Angela! It was interesting reading.