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In defense of the bubble called private school and home school:)


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Ok, I am going to vent for just a second so please forgive me. My husband and I are debating public school vs. Private/home schooling. He agrees that educationally private/home schooling is better. He just does not want our kids to live in a Christian bubble. AH, I am so frustrated. Why should a 5-6 year old be exposed to the real world? Why can't we preserve our children's innocence? What's so bad about that? Why shouldn't my child be allowed to learn in a well-behaved, controlled environment? I welcome your view point. PLEASE AGREE and DISAGREE with me. Feel free to "knock some sense" into me. I just want the best for my kids, and I feel like I have to apologize for it. Yuck, I am so over this :ack2: (ok, gotta love that face icon).

 

BTW, son would be hanging out with kids from church who are Christian and involved with Classical Conversations which would mean he would be with other Christians. Home schoolers in general are not in a Christian bubble, but my son would be, I guess. He is involved with community, secular sports and activities. Just to clarify!

Edited by cabreban
just to clarify
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Ok, I am going to vent for just a second so please forgive me. My husband and I are debating public school vs. Private/home schooling. He agrees that educationally private/home schooling is better. He just does not want our kids to live in a Christian bubble. AH, I am so frustrated. Why should a 5-6 year old be exposed to the real world? Why can't we preserve our children's innocents? What's so bad about that? Why shouldn't my child be allowed to learn in a well-behaved, controlled environment? I welcome your view point. PLEASE AGREE and DISAGREE with me. Feel free to "knock some sense" into me. I just want the best for my kids, and I feel like I have to apologize for it. Yuck, I am so over this :ack2: (ok, gotta love that face icon).

 

Two questions: What bubble? There are plenty of ungodly people in both churches, Christian schools, and Christian homeschool groups.

 

The husband of the family that invited us to our first church as a married couple had a spectacularly ugly divorce from his wife that resulted in the church having to officially break communion from him and ask him to stop attending church activities. About a year before we moved from that city, the Christian school associated with the church was struggling to deal with a pregnant student (who declined to name the father - widely speculated to be an older student at the same school).

 

I've seen plenty of families who are still developing good parenting skills in homeschool groups. And I've encountered plenty of homeschooled kids that require me to teach my kids how to be tolerant and kind and polite in the face of poor behavior from others.

 

Second question: How far would dh take the "no bubble" approach? Would he want to enroll the kids in a dysfunctional school with violence or drugs to make sure the kids were prepared for the real world?

 

I suspect that he's reacting to an image of isolation amongst homeschoolers or private schoolers that 1) isn't usually the case and 2) certainly doesn't have to be the case with your family. Our kids have been involved in sports, scouts and church groups. They joyfully play with other kids on the street or in our tower. They do volunteer work.

 

Homeschooling doesn't equal isolation or a lack of sophistication. It does mean than the family has more control over how and when outside influences are introduced. (I don't see that control as a bad thing, imho.)

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My DD has made several non-Christian friends as a homeschooler. Good friends, not just acquaintances. She's not in a Christian bubble at all.

 

:iagree: In our old neighborhood, I'm not sure my kids played with any other Christian kids. It was not a big deal. Here, I think we see more Christians because our neighbor also goes to our church, and our co-op is a Christian co-op. They ride horses, though, with kids who are from everywhere and other activities are not all Christian-centered.

 

I have to agree with you about protecting their innocence. That is one of the biggest things I've noticed about my kids - they are still so sweetly innocent. They are certainly growing up and becoming less so, but I love that I have a lot of control over what I let them see and hear.

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Guest Dulcimeramy

You only live in a bubble if that's your choice. We don't live in a bubble. My kids actually have a much more diverse range of friends and mentors than they would if they went to the local public school!

 

Our ps friends envy my teens' life on the outside.

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I've gotta say 3 things...

 

First, our great grandparents' generation never would've given a second thought to socialization or social "exposure". In fact, they would've looked at you like you were crazy if you constantly drove your kids from gymnastics to T-ball to piano lessons to girl scouts, etc. They would've thought we were nuts! I have family from oversees and they think WE'RE nuts! :D

 

Second, have you read Simplicity Parenting? I think it's a big supporter of the bubble - especially when it comes to shielding kids from adult subjects. I think they'll have a stronger sense of identity later.

 

Third, homeschooling doesn't mean you HAVE to be bubblefied. We've been homeschooling for several years and our doorbell rings constantly after 3:15. My son spent all weekend at a boy scout camp-out and my 3 daughters did volunteer work for SIX hours on Saturday (and enjoyed every minute of it). You don't have to feel isolated.

 

Good luck with your decision!

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I don't see why private/home schooling is necessarily living in a bubble. Granted, it's different (especially home schooling). Unless you lock them in a closet and never go anywhere they won't be in a bubble.

 

And frankly, I've seen life outside the bubble and it ain't pretty. My kids get a taste of schooled kids at places like dance. Kids can be quite mean and awful.

 

If there were a bubble, I'd gladly move inside it. ;)

:iagree:

Have you ask your husband what he means by a 'bubble'?

 

My dd goes to the library activities, art class, church, and the playground. She is around other children almost daily with these activities. She interacts with children of all ages as well as adults.

 

Besides, bubbles are fun.:001_smile:

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hmmm....

 

since you are dealing with a man, discuss it in these terms....

 

your kids are soldiers in a battlefield. No commander takes green recruits and dumps them on the battle field without proper training. That is what I do with my kids in homeschooling. I am training them to hit the battlefield and be effective. I don;t expect them to forever stay a green recruit in training. But I will not toss them out there and expect them to be equipped to do the job right, until I have spent some years teaching them the basics and a firm foundation of what our family believes about stuff.

 

I shelter my kids pretty well when they are small. Around the time they are 2-3 grade we are involved in more stuff. They are around kids that are homeschooled, private schooled and public schooled. We get that interaction from sports, and 4-h mainly, but I am sure there are other opportunities out there too.

 

One also many times forgets that there are lots of varieties of homeschoolers out there. Not all homeschoolers are Christian, and even under the Christian label there is quite a bit of variation.

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I HIGHLY recommend that you both read Hold Onto Your Kids and try really hard to read until the end of the book. (And, no, it's not technically a homeschool book at all.)

 

The author does an outstanding job of talking about how our crazy culture will divide us, without a doubt, from our kids.

 

Re: the homeschool bubble. Given the state of our culture, I wish I could keep my kid in a bubble. (And please don't think I'm a prude. If you met me on the street you'd have no idea that I recoil from so much stuff in our culture when it comes my kids.)

 

If I could, here's what I would tell your husband: our culture is so over-the-top that there is -- unfortunately -- no real way to "bubblize" the kids. I think my dh and I have done a pretty good job of keeping the culture in control, but it's impossible to ditch it entirely.

 

And homeschooling or private school alone certainly won't do it.

 

We have left very little room for the culture to bombard our kids. No TV, no Wii, no DS, no newspapers talking about serial killers, no magazines showing violence and unclothed people.

 

Still. It's very hard. My two boys pick up all kinds of things from their friends. And their friends are NICE kids. But all of our homeschool friends have Wii, DS, watch TV, movies etc.

 

Also, my kids get exposure through their soccer team, art classes, tennis etc. etc. ETC.

 

Please tell your dh that there are a ton of ETC's.

 

And read Hold Onto Your Kids. It will take your discussion w/ dh to an entirely new level.

 

Good luck!

 

Alley

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In a homeschool book I read recently (I forget the title) the author interviewed all the kids she could and asked them to tell her their favorite part of homeschooling and their least favorite part of homeschooling. While their favorites varied to some degree, the least favorite across the board was that they didn't have as many friends as they would have liked. I also know 2 men who were homeschooled all through their growing years and now chose to send their children to public school because they were isolated as well.

 

So, is your husband's concern having more to do with isolation than the bubble? I know that as mom's, we can seek out the friendships and support we need through online forums or local co-ops. But I think sometimes we forget that while we are online getting all kinds of support, our kids are playing with their siblings in the next room or working on school work. While we are chatting with our favorite moms at a co-op, our kids are in a structured environment that might not necessarily be the best environment for getting to know the kids they are in class with. I think the same can be true with most structured classes. They might see kids on a daily/weekly basis but not feel like they get to be friends with those same kids.

 

All that to say, your husband might be more receptive if you show him in your plans time for interacting with other kids their age outside of a class or co-op. From our perspective we might be running all over the place getting our kids to different social events but from our kids perspective they might feel they are being run to school all over the place but don't have time to forge relationships because everything has to be about learning. Just my 2 cents and something I try to be aware of.

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The idea that homeschooled kids live in a bubble is a stereotype, like "All homeschool moms wear denim jumpers and Keds" and "All homeschooled kids are socially inept". My kids go to karate with ps and hs kids. They take piano with an adult. They are on soccer teams with ps and hs kids. We go grocery shopping, to movies, to museums, all with a variety of people. I wish we lived in a bubble! Then I wouldn't constantly be on the go.

 

Now, though we are constantly interacting with many different people, my dc are usually under my supervision. I can make sure everything is ok at these various activities. I am still somewhat in control.

 

You and your dh can have it both ways. You can get your kids involved in different activities where they interact with all kinds of people. That would please your dh. However, YOU get to chose the activities and supervise them.

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He just does not want our kids to live in a Christian bubble. AH, I am so frustrated. Why should a 5-6 year old be exposed to the real world? Why can't we preserve our children's innocents? What's so bad about that? Why shouldn't my child be allowed to learn in a well-behaved, controlled environment? I welcome your view point. PLEASE AGREE and DISAGREE with me. Feel free to "knock some sense" into me. I just want the best for my kids, and I feel like I have to apologize for it. Yuck, I am so over this :ack2: (ok, gotta love that face icon).

 

Your assumption is that life with-in what your husband calls " the Christian bubble" preserves childrens' innocence.

 

But, as I'm reminded reading Dr Peter Enn's book "Telling God's Story" in the preview this week, one needs to ask if that is always the case?

 

How is the practice of many of teaching very young children that they are "sinful" (a practice Enn's argues against) not highly destructive of a sense of "innocence?" Innocence can be the antithesis of what is often taught inside the bubble, no?

 

I would check the assumptions.

 

Bill

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By keeping them home, I get to control who/what gets access to my kids hearts and minds. We do have outside influences, but I choose what they are instead of letting someone choose who doesn't love my kids as much as I do.

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I'm chiming in from the Afterschooling board, and my children go to public school. I have found that they are having the opportunity to internalize the morals and values we are teaching at home through the situations they encounter. We make it a point to discuss what they are reading, see on television, and experience so that they can process it.

 

There have been several situations that have been eye-opening to us and our daughter recently. At her school for P.E. they have recently been traveling to nearby college to use the pool for swimming lessons. She reported that while they were changing into their school clothes one of her classmates reported that the most important thing in life was to look "hot and sexy" (they are 3rd graders). DD was aghast at that and apparently a heated discussion followed. In sharing with us, DD indicated that's not right because Jesus and God are the most important thing. Although I hate she had to encounter this topic at a young age, I'm proud she stood up for her beliefs. At other times, she has reported that so and so watched x movie or listens to this music and then states "that's really not appropriate for our age." We remind her that each family has to make their own decisions on what is appropriate but do have to wonder what their parents are thinking.

 

We have found that our extracurricular activities are more in the bubble, but that is due to our choices. Outside of school, our dd takes piano lessons (with a lady from church), takes horseback riding lessons (at a stable that happens to cater to a home-schooling/faith-based crowd), and is in 4-H (with leaders from our church and mostly faith-based kids). Our son is doing soccer with the Y right now. We are pleased his coach happens to be a lady from church and he has both church friends and school friends on the team.

 

So long story short, yes public schools are definitely out of the bubble, but it is still possible to shield your children in any circumstances.

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Ok, I am going to vent for just a second so please forgive me. My husband and I are debating public school vs. Private/home schooling. He agrees that educationally private/home schooling is better. He just does not want our kids to live in a Christian bubble. AH, I am so frustrated. Why should a 5-6 year old be exposed to the real world? Why can't we preserve our children's innocents? What's so bad about that? Why shouldn't my child be allowed to learn in a well-behaved, controlled environment? I welcome your view point. PLEASE AGREE and DISAGREE with me. Feel free to "knock some sense" into me. I just want the best for my kids, and I feel like I have to apologize for it. Yuck, I am so over this :ack2: (ok, gotta love that face icon).

 

Homeschooling or even private school does not keep your child in a bubble. There are plenty of kids that hs or private school that are not Christians and are even fairly worldly. We have friends of all religious preferences and also agnostic/atheist. Unless you lock your kids inside all day I guarantee that will not happen.

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Unless you spend all of your time at either home or church, then you are not in a bubble. My dc are in all kinds of activities and play with the neighbors. The influence of the world can be minimized with homeschooling but we live in the world and must help our dc learn to navigate it as Christians. As my dc get older I see that in most cases we have been able to delay certain things until we felt they were the appropriate age for them.

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I've found the opposite... My oldest is in a very diverse public school, after eight years of homeschooling, and in some ways the kids there are more secluded/bubble like, than she ever was homeschooling. By having interaction with only a small age group, under ridged conditions, many of these kids are very shallow in their beliefs, interests, thoughts, etc.

 

Now we are not Xtian homeschoolers, who limited our kids to very select groups. I can guess there are some families that fit that stereotype, but I haven't found many.

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I'm just confused how homeschooling keeps you in Christian bubble. How does being homeschooled keep you in a Christian bubble. I don't see any connection between those two things.

 

Many operate under the assumption that all homeschoolers are fundamentalist Christians. In my homeschool group, in small-town rural NE, we have Catholics, Lutherans, Bereans, Presbyterians, Fundies, and Atheists/Agnostics/Quasi-Buddists. Do you know which kids are the best behaved? The Atheists/Agnostics/Quasi-Buddists kids. And the worst behaved (besides mine of course;):tongue_smilie:)? A hard-core, we've-been-X-denomination-for-generations, look-at-how-Christian-we-are family.

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Many operate under the assumption that all homeschoolers are fundamentalist Christians. In my homeschool group, in small-town rural NE, we have Catholics, Lutherans, Bereans, Presbyterians, Fundies, and Atheists/Agnostics/Quasi-Buddists. Do you know which kids are the best behaved? The Atheists/Agnostics/Quasi-Buddists kids. And the worst behaved (besides mine of course;):tongue_smilie:)? A hard-core, we've-been-X-denomination-for-generations, look-at-how-Christian-we-are family.

 

Sorry I misspoke. Home schooling in general is not Christian, but most if not all his friends are Christian (or go to same church). I would become a part of Classical Conversations that does have a lean toward Christian values. He is apart of community sports and activities which I personally think is good exposure to the "real world" but dh disagrees. For Captain America, his experience would be Christian Home school with community activites thrown in.

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To summarize Vodie Baucham in Family Driven Faith --- sending our children to public school is like sending our little ones into the enemy camp and being surprised when they come home wearing the enemy uniform.

 

Made sense to me! :grouphug:

 

I totally disagree with that statement. (I have no idea who Vodie B. is....maybe that makes ME the enemy lol)

Who comprises the 'enemy camp'? I KNOW there are Christians at ps. There are also child molesters with access to kids at churches. I'd consider them an enemy.

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Actually, my DD has more diversity in her life since we started homeschooling than she did in school, simply because she's NOT with the same group of kids all the time. In K, she was with the same 20 or so kids, and her group of friends was only as diverse as that class.

 

Now, she's in different groups and classes throughout the week-so she's in music and science with a little boy from India, who's mother homeschools because schools in the US aren't rigorous enough-and got to visit their house and hear about some of their religious beliefs and learn some of the Hindi Gods-which fit in well with our history study at the time. She's in a co-op with kids who are Unitarian, and has learned a little about their beliefs. She is in a world dance class that involves a lot of different cultures and beliefs, both that the class is studying and that the students come from.

 

And all of this has been wonderful for us to then discuss in relation to World history and our own religious beliefs. Since I'm with DD, I hear what she's hearing, and can make sure that any areas of concern are addressed. Even with DD in church-run schools (since she was only in school through K), sometimes she'd come home confused. I can only imagine how much more this would have been the case had she been in a public school.

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Sorry I misspoke. Home schooling in general is not Christian, but most if not all his friends are Christian (or go to same church). I would become a part of Classical Conversations that does have a lean toward Christian values. He is apart of community sports and activities which I personally think is good exposure to the "real world" but dh disagrees. For Captain America, his experience would be Christian Home school with community activites thrown in.

 

I wasn't trying to correct you. Sorry. We here know that Christians do not "own" homeschooling, but I think society at large still thinks of homeschooling as a Christian thing. Maybe that is where your dh is coming from? Maybe he thinks your dc will only be around other Christians (well-behaved Christians at that) and when your dc finally encounter "the real world" they will be shocked. That's kind of how my dh felt. Maybe if you point out to him that neither homeschoolers nor Christians are homogeneous groups of like-minded individuals he could see that your dc will in fact be exposed to different types of people.

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If you were trying to defend your position to another family member, I could see many arguments supported your position (and many against). However, it sounds like you and your dh need to resolve what's best for your family. What is your vision? What is his vision? Is there a way to combine them? Besides classical conversations does your ds have to be in "Christian" homeschool activities. While Christian groups are prevalent around me there are lots of secular homeschool activities. It's not clear to me what exactly either of you want and you need to resolve that together.

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I HIGHLY recommend that you both read Hold Onto Your Kids and try really hard to read until the end of the book. (And, no, it's not technically a homeschool book at all.)

 

The author does an outstanding job of talking about how our crazy culture will divide us, without a doubt, from our kids.

 

To summarize Vodie Baucham in Family Driven Faith --- sending our children to public school is like sending our little ones into the enemy camp and being surprised when they come home wearing the enemy uniform.

 

Ugh. There are stereotypes EVERYWHERE.

 

Okay, I have done both. I homeschooled my kids for 10 years. Then I sent them into public school for high school for the last 2 years.

 

They have NOT been divided from us AT ALL. And they have not come home wearing any enemy uniforms.

 

They have cellphones and facebook and twitter. They text. A lot. None of those things have changed how close we are.

 

It's the parents. And how you raise them. Whether you homeschool them or public school them you still have an influence on them. And how you do THAT job will supersede any thing else.

 

They go to parties and dances and go on dates. And they also hang with my husband and I and watch "Lost" with us. (we are on Season 4 and are completely addicted!) My older daughter is spending today touring a college with my husband and then going out for lunch in the city. She probably will go out with her friends tonight. And tomorrow we are scheduled to go to the mall together, just her and I, to shop for her prom dress. We did it last year and had so much fun that she asked again. Then she will probably go out with her friends again tomorrow night.

 

I have know homeschool kids who are lazy, disrespectful little hellions. It's the parents and not the homeschooling that made them that way.

 

I know Christian families who raise kids that are ignorant and prejudiced and who aren't doing any of us any favors by releasing them into society. It's the parents and not the Christian faith that made them that way.

 

I know public school kids who are left to fend for themselves every day and get lost in drinking and drugs to escape their lousy lives. It's the parents and not the public school that made them that way.

 

Pick what works for you and your family. And then do it well. And your kids will be fine.

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Sorry I misspoke. Home schooling in general is not Christian, but most if not all his friends are Christian (or go to same church). I would become a part of Classical Conversations that does have a lean toward Christian values. He is apart of community sports and activities which I personally think is good exposure to the "real world" but dh disagrees. For Captain America, his experience would be Christian Home school with community activites thrown in.

 

I had someone tell me yesterday that I'm keeping my kids in a bubble because we don't have cable and watch CNN. :001_huh: (this was coupled with the homeschooling topic and the list of "do you do ----?" to make sure we're right on track. :glare:) I'm not certain why my 5 & 8 yo's need to be exposed to the terrible pictures on the news casts. But that's his perception. But it may be that they are in a bubble but I don't care because I'm not going to pop it because a certain group of people don't like me being outside of their bubble. But I think our society in general lives in their own little bubbles not understanding each other and trying to over generalize everything to put in class and order. (ie: most homeschoolers are Christian. The Christian children can't behave. on and on...)

 

It's hard to scientifically prove that we aren't living in a bubble. It's all a matter of perception. And I think we all sort of choose a bubble to be in. So I guess you can try blowing the bubble idea out of the water by saying that the public school bubble isn't the best choice of bubbles. ;)

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Why should a 5-6 year old be exposed to the real world? Why can't we preserve our children's innocence? What's so bad about that? Why shouldn't my child be allowed to learn in a well-behaved, controlled environment?

I see all of these as VERY different questions.

What do you mean by being exposed to the real world?

What do you mean by preserving their innocence?

And what do either of those have to do with good behavior or the environment?

 

Random thoughts --

 

There are places that are very "open" yet orderly, like the Netherlands.

 

Non-christian doesn't mean wild, ill-behaved, and corrupting.

 

I don't really know what you're trying to avoid. I don't expose my kids to drug addiction, pornography, and famine, nor do we dwell with little kids about human suffering. But they know that there are people in the world with many problems. We've seen homeless, starving children with our own eyes. They know people die. I do think it's important to provide some transition into the pain of the "real world" without scaring them. Their young minds should be protected from too much harshness at one time. This is fair. I don't think building up a phony society that has no basis in reality is healthy, though.

 

An acquaintance of my aunt apparently had a child who watched TV all the time and thought all black people were criminals. I think this is an unfortunate case of overly sheltered in real life yet unsheltered when it came to TV. Better to meet different people than just see them getting arrested on TV and draw some racist conclusions.

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I see all of these as VERY different questions.

What do you mean by being exposed to the real world? dh thinks ds being in the class with distracting kids of the same age from different backgrounds will help us have more teaching moment. I just want ds to learn to write, read and have friends at age 5. Teachable moments you can have anywhere. We do not intentionally have to look for them. I would rather do community service with them to expose them to the real world while teaching them. I do not see being separated from him for 6 hours and calling that the real world.

What do you mean by preserving their innocence? I still want my 5 year old to believe in Santa Claus. I want for him to not know bad words at age 5. He will be in classroom of 31 with 1 teacher and a TA. Just doesn't seem like it is set up for success. Also not every parent is discriminating about what their children watch or read.

And what do either of those have to do with good behavior or the environment? At our public school kids are not well-behaved and the teachers have their hands tied. They are not respectful and the teachers do not expect that from them.

 

Random thoughts --

 

There are places that are very "open" yet orderly, like the Netherlands. I am sure!

 

Non-christian doesn't mean wild, ill-behaved, and corrupting. I TOTALLY agree I would be open to send ds to secular private school, but since we are Christians, we would like for him to get Bible teaching as well.....especially if we are paying for it :) Also the secular private schools are too expensive.

 

I don't really know what you're trying to avoid. I don't expose my kids to drug addiction, pornography, and famine, nor do we dwell with little kids about human suffering. But they know that there are people in the world with many problems. We've seen homeless, starving children with our own eyes. They know people die. I do think it's important to provide some transition into the pain of the "real world" without scaring them. Their young minds should be protected from too much harshness at one time. This is fair. I don't think building up a phony society that has no basis in reality is healthy, though.

 

An acquaintance of my aunt apparently had a child who watched TV all the time and thought all black people were criminals. I think this is an unfortunate case of overly sheltered in real life yet unsheltered when it came to TV. Better to meet different people than just see them getting arrested on TV and draw some racist conclusions.

 

I would love to come into agreement. This is just so frustrating.

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I didn't read all the other responses....but I'm with you on this one.

 

I believe that kids should be sheltered and their innocence should be protected. Yes, my kids may live in a Christian homeschool bubble right now...but there's nothing wrong with that. When they are ready, have hidden God's Word in their hearts, know right from wrong, etc, then they will be ready to exit "the bubble."

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Everyone lives in a bubble. Every time a new person or new idea comes to your attention, it has crossed the barrier and is now in your bubble. The problem is not the bubble. It is the size of the bubble and whether it is smaller than the average person's bubble.

 

If you live in a town where everyone attends your church, there is no harm in associating almost exclusively with people who attend your church. You may, however, consider this a bit restrictive because you don't think your children are going to stay in your town forever. What might you do about that? You might study world religions and philosophy. You might study cultural geography. You might watch lots of documentaries. You might decide to do get involved, as a family, in a medieval re-enactment group two towns across and attend events there every few months. You might send your child on mission trips. You might get involved in a sport that requires travelling around for matches and make a point to chat with the parents of the other team. You might host exchange students or "Fresh Air Fund" kids.

 

Or you might decide that life is the way it is in your town and it's a shame you can't afford to travel, but such is life. That doesn't stop you from talking with enthusiasm about the places they'll go and the people they'll meet when they are big enough; so they will grow up expecting adventures, because talking is free ;)

 

Unless you teach that everyone outside your church family is evil and will actively try to subvert them, your children will turn out fine even if they haven't had as many direct experiences of "the other" as they may have if you'd lived a different life. Everyone has gaps.

 

Rosie

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Listen, I think you are both on the same side.

Some people want to keep their child from harm by not exposing the child to it. Some want to keep their child from harm by equipping the child to handle it.

 

I believe one should equip, then expose.

 

There's an order to it.

 

And believe me, my dd was exposed to carp before I wanted her to be, even tho she was homeschooled, because we couldn't prevent the exposure of her to her own brother. But, we protected her from the worst parts, and tried to equip her to love him regardless of his faults.

 

I hope you can both realize you are really on the same page.

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Everyone lives in a bubble. Every time a new person or new idea comes to your attention, it has crossed the barrier and is now in your bubble. The problem is not the bubble. It is the size of the bubble and whether it is smaller than the average person's bubble.

 

If you live in a town where everyone attends your church, there is no harm in associating almost exclusively with people who attend your church. You may, however, consider this a bit restrictive because you don't think your children are going to stay in your town forever. What might you do about that? You might study world religions and philosophy. You might study cultural geography. You might watch lots of documentaries. You might decide to do get involved, as a family, in a medieval re-enactment group two towns across and attend events there every few months. You might send your child on mission trips. You might get involved in a sport that requires travelling around for matches and make a point to chat with the parents of the other team. You might host exchange students or "Fresh Air Fund" kids.

 

Or you might decide that life is the way it is in your town and it's a shame you can't afford to travel, but such is life. That doesn't stop you from talking with enthusiasm about the places they'll go and the people they'll meet when they are big enough; so they will grow up expecting adventures, because talking is free ;)

 

Unless you teach that everyone outside your church family is evil and will actively try to subvert them, your children will turn out fine even if they haven't had as many direct experiences of "the other" as they may have if you'd lived a different life. Everyone has gaps.

 

Rosie

:iagree:

 

 

I was going to reply, "public school is simply a different bubble." ps classrooms are nothing like the real world. :001_huh:

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We live in this world. It is impossible NOT to be exposed to it. I prefer my children learn a biblical worldview. We make forages into a secular worldview whenever we watch a dvd, go to the grocery store, play with the neighbors, or visit the library. Exposure is inevitable. However, I do not want them trained and educated in a secular worldview.

 

Let's use educational lingo. I don't believe in dual immersion worldview classes.

 

We see the childhood years as time to equip our children in a biblical worldview and model for them how to navigate a secular world. The goal obviously being for them to learn how to discern truth and live a life that glorifies God.

Edited by Daisy
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Okay, I haven't read any responses, so please forgive me if I'm repeating everyone......

 

My take on it is that it's Quality vs. Quantity. Do you want your children to have Quality social interactions or a large Quantity of less then desireable social interactions.

 

I'm not saying that everyone at a public school is horrible. But when you have one misbehaving kid, the others tend to pick up on it and take it to the next level. You can't unlearn many things picked up at public school.

 

Quality vs. Quantity. That sums it up for my family.

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I just don 't think a real bubble is possible if you leave home/watch the news/have extended family. Dh worried they'd miss the rough and tumble of school. I pointed out scouts, sports, clubs and the neighborhood would provide more actual interaction than school with it's 15 minutes of supervised recess.

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Ok, I am going to vent for just a second so please forgive me. My husband and I are debating public school vs. Private/home schooling. He agrees that educationally private/home schooling is better. He just does not want our kids to live in a Christian bubble. AH, I am so frustrated. Why should a 5-6 year old be exposed to the real world? Why can't we preserve our children's innocence? What's so bad about that? Why shouldn't my child be allowed to learn in a well-behaved, controlled environment? I welcome your view point. PLEASE AGREE and DISAGREE with me. Feel free to "knock some sense" into me. I just want the best for my kids, and I feel like I have to apologize for it. Yuck, I am so over this :ack2: (ok, gotta love that face icon).

 

BTW, son would be hanging out with kids from church who are Christian and involved with Classical Conversations which would mean he would be with other Christians. Home schoolers in general are not in a Christian bubble, but my son would be, I guess. He is involved with community, secular sports and activities. Just to clarify!

 

We are a Christian family...and my older kids are glad they were raised in a "bubble." According to my dd's, they were able to develop who they were before peer pressure struck. They are very self assured adults who were not raised under a dome...but sheltered enough to be strong in their selfhood.

 

Faithe

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My motto is: My kids are not unsociliazed, they go to church!!!

 

We attend a large church. We are there four days a week for Church, Co-op, and Scouts. My kids are in 5th and 6th grade.

 

Within our church and homeschool group, we have encountered bullies, mean girls, gossip, inappropriate clothing, tv, reading material (sometimes from others, and sometimes we're the one doing what others consider inappropriate :tongue_smilie:), discussion of strippers (started in Sunday School by a kid who goes to Christian school!), pregnant teens, lots of judging, and tons and tons of complaining women, etc.

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My kids are in PS and I work at the elementary school and here is what I see...

 

At the elementary age, most friends are limited to the kids in your class. Birthday parties are mostly made up of the kids from the childs class. It is just hard to have much interaction with kids outside your class. My DS has a couple good friends outside his class, but they are from scouts, etc and the friendships are maintained outside of school.

 

There are a lot of parents who don't have the same values that I do. I don't mean to be judgemental, I am truely more incredulous at what some of the kids I work with talk about watching on tv, music they listen to, etc. First graders telling me about Jason movies, 4th and 5th grade girls watching shows I dont' let my 13 yo watch. So, when you put your child in a bubble of the other 20 or kids the spend their day with, you can't help but have your child come home having picked up a lot of 'knowledge' from their peers. And it can be a great point of discussion, or it can be a lot to deprogram.

 

The social thing at school isn't all that it is cracked up to be. Same group of kids all day, about 45 minutes of the day that is allowed for social time. Any other time the kids get written up for talking when they shouldn't be. I'm all for teaching responsiblity, but at our school, the list of rules is getting out of control (but unfortunatly, they are needed overall to maintain control because their is such a vast spectrum of what kids see as acceptable behavior) and I dont' like me kid being written up, having to walk an extra lap at recess for irresponsible behavior (forgetting to get snack out at the beginning of the day). It seems that schools are moving farther away from teaching children to trying to mold minature adults.

 

So yeah, in a heartbeat, I would take them out and let them grow up in a bubble of my design. Because really, we all live in our own bubbles, our own normal boundaries. But we generally design those for ourselves and our families. Tell DH you want a bubble, just the one that you two design for your kids.

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Two questions: What bubble? There are plenty of ungodly people in both churches, Christian schools, and Christian homeschool groups.

 

I've seen plenty of families who are still developing good parenting skills in homeschool groups. And I've encountered plenty of homeschooled kids that require me to teach my kids how to be tolerant and kind and polite in the face of poor behavior from others.

 

 

 

 

I just love the way you phrased that!

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Within our church and homeschool group, we have encountered bullies, mean girls, gossip, inappropriate clothing, tv, reading material (sometimes from others, and sometimes we're the one doing what others consider inappropriate :tongue_smilie:), discussion of strippers (started in Sunday School by a kid who goes to Christian school!), pregnant teens, lots of judging, and tons and tons of complaining women, etc.

 

:iagree:

We are a church planting family, and most of our 'social activity' revolves around our church. And interactions with kids/people at church have led to a lot of deep and difficult discussions with my 8 year old.

I definitely don't see myself as keeping my kids in a bubble - rather, I view it as being a filter. We want them to have a Christian worldview. And more than that, we want to impart them with awe of the glory of God. That is no small task.

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