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not a thread about homeschooling SN child-guess goes with discapline


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We started going to church earlier this year while Z was on meds for adhd/impulsiveness.....he wasn't comfy going to kid's church so they let him go in with the nursery ladies/kids even though he was over the age limit----it got better to where some times he would go to kid's church but never where he went every sunday. The ladies who are keep the nursery are paid and both I think have worked with SN kids in schools,so they were aware of his issues and for the most part he minded them-even helped out with the smaller ones every now and then (he loves babies)....Well he's been off meds a while--and we've been trying to go regularly to church although sickness has kept us out some earlier this year (both him and I were sick alot)--today we talked about what would happen before going to church---I told him he would start out in the big church with me but he had to be quiet-I had packed coloring books,notebooks,drawing stuff and surprisingly he did well. (he usually takes his ds/iphone with headphones but have been trying to wean him off those because it destracts the other kids and it's NOT allowed in kid's church). Today he even got $ together for the kid's offering and was all ready for it---he left with the kids to go to their room but changed mine enroute and ended up in the nursery. When I go back to pick him up find out he had a horrible day---he wouldn't mind them-there's a fenced play area right at side door of the nursery) and when they were out playing he threw/kicked rocks at the older of the ladies and was just had very bad behavior today. I was soo embarrassed. He said he had already appologized to them but I made him do it when I was there because sometimes he'll appologize "rudely" and not really mean it-just to try to get out of trouble. They said they understood but if he doesn't behave and mind them then he can't come back to nursery..........I'm at my wit's end.....his behavior is just getting more extreme--some of it's mentioned in my other posts.....we are starting meds again-and our "dr" is going to work with him and get him over his anxiety at taking the medicine and "choking" on it............but It's just wearing on me something fierce...I really enjoy the services but am not going to take him if he's going to be distruptive in the "adult services" and then totally unruly in the nursery.....hate to leave him at home with his dad-because we were trying to get him ready for baptism into the church--BOTH of us are.....the date for that has now been pushed back to june (decided before this issue came up)----I just don't know...................thanks for reading :grouphug:

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Since it's been hit-and-miss a bit with church, maybe you can ease him back into it? Just attend the first part and then leave when it comes time for Kids' church? I know it's a bummer for you to miss church, but building up a routine usually helps, then you can ease him into the kids church schedule again. I know with my guy, he would have a melt-down if everything didn't go just as he expected it to go - all it took was one change in the process.

 

:grouphug: - I'm sorry it's so hard!

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how would he do if he stayed with you during the whole church? we use quiet activities and keep our children with us. I find that children's church is often disorganized and not a good choice. Or maybe you could go with him to kids church for a few weeks so he learns the routines and feels comfortable there?

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So dad doesn't go to church? Is he involved in other ways with your ds? The reason I'm asking is that it took BOTH of us to get our ds (ADHD, bipolar, ODD, etc.) to be able to function at church. I can't imagine having to deal with that alone. He was a handful. He is now on a good mix of meds, which allows him to control himself. I tell folks that meds don't change behaviors, they only make it possible for a person to change his own behaviors.

 

I just said a prayer for you. It will get better.

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how would he do if he stayed with you during the whole church? we use quiet activities and keep our children with us. I find that children's church is often disorganized and not a good choice.

 

This was my thought, too.

 

Our church doesn't have a children's church (nursery only) so we had a long, long "adjustment period" with ds in church when he outgrew the nursery. But I think it was worth it in the end.

 

We kept him in the service with us as long as possible. When he got out of hand (or when we saw the signs of trouble coming) we'd take him out to get a drink of water or bathroom trip, or just walk outside for a few minutes. Then we'd go back in. We tried to hold off the activities/cheerios for when the sermon started.

 

I also agree that it's tough to handle on your own. Maybe you can talk with the nursery workers or pastor or someone and see if there is anyone who might be willing to be a "shadow" buddy for ds while in children's church? Sometimes teenagers have a real knack for this kind of thing.

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So dad doesn't go to church? Is he involved in other ways with your ds? The reason I'm asking is that it took BOTH of us to get our ds (ADHD, bipolar, ODD, etc.) to be able to function at church. I can't imagine having to deal with that alone. He was a handful. He is now on a good mix of meds, which allows him to control himself. I tell folks that meds don't change behaviors, they only make it possible for a person to change his own behaviors.

 

I just said a prayer for you. It will get better.

 

thanks.....no hubby doesn't go to church with us-he's religious but just doesn't go with us(?) LOL....

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This was my thought, too.

 

Our church doesn't have a children's church (nursery only) so we had a long, long "adjustment period" with ds in church when he outgrew the nursery. But I think it was worth it in the end.

 

We kept him in the service with us as long as possible. When he got out of hand (or when we saw the signs of trouble coming) we'd take him out to get a drink of water or bathroom trip, or just walk outside for a few minutes. Then we'd go back in. We tried to hold off the activities/cheerios for when the sermon started.

 

I also agree that it's tough to handle on your own. Maybe you can talk with the nursery workers or pastor or someone and see if there is anyone who might be willing to be a "shadow" buddy for ds while in children's church? Sometimes teenagers have a real knack for this kind of thing.

 

 

oh right from the start the nursery ladies,the lady that's over the kid's activities/kid's church, the pastor all have been great helpers to me-I told them zach's situation right from the start--they had a couple of teachers help him adjust to going to sunday school and getting comfy in there...I'm hoping he'll settle back down once we have been on meds again.....

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how would he do if he stayed with you during the whole church? we use quiet activities and keep our children with us. I find that children's church is often disorganized and not a good choice. Or maybe you could go with him to kids church for a few weeks so he learns the routines and feels comfortable there?

 

we might have to try that-he has a short attention span and isn't interested in anything over a few mins if it isn't something he's relating to or specificly interested in....so that's the only problem in that.....I've already warned the priest that if she sees us suddenly jump up and walk out she will know it wasn't something she said LOL....

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oh right from the start the nursery ladies,the lady that's over the kid's activities/kid's church, the pastor all have been great helpers to me-I told them zach's situation right from the start--they had a couple of teachers help him adjust to going to sunday school and getting comfy in there...I'm hoping he'll settle back down once we have been on meds again.....

 

It is so good to hear that you have positive support there - three cheers for them!

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