Update:Frustrated with the foster care system

[Diana in OR]

This is an update on my 2.5yo niece, who has been in foster care for several months now. I was so thrilled to have a visit with her in March (which was the first time I'd gotten to see her), and am looking forward to several more in the coming months. Her parents went to court this week, and it looks like she will be transitioning into going home, but probably will be in foster care for the next 4 or 5 months during the transition.

 

I am so greatly concerned about this, b/c my sister knows how to work the system. She does a good job behaving just the right way in order to get what she wants, and fooling a lot of people in the process. Since she is doing what child welfare is telling her, they have no choice but to send her daughter home. I am very fearful for my niece, b/c I know my sister. I have shared my concerns with her caseworker. Based on conversations with the case worker, I know my sister has not changed the behavior that got her into this in the first place, but as long as she's doing what looks right on paper, then there is nothing I, or the caseworker can do-except pray like crazy, which is my m.o. at this point.

 

(I no longer have contact with my sister, b/c the last time I saw her in person she tried to run me over with her car in front of my dh and dc, hence the afore mentioned behavior issues with her.)

[Philothea]

It is an imperfect system.

 

In our state, something like 77 out of 100 child deaths are while children are in foster care.

 

Here your children can be taken from you so easily and placed into foster care for months with little to no reason, while you have to struggle in court to get them back.

 

Though I hate to see children slip through the cracks with bad parents, I hate seeing good parents punished. All it takes is one false allegation and your kids could be taken away! For this, I fear a more restrictive foster care and social services system.

[MelissaM]

It's the parents. The system can only do so much.

 

My cousin is a meth/crack addict prostitute. Social services has been involved for years, but all she has to do is go to a few AA and/or NA meetings and she has "put forth concerted effort." It is extremely frustrating and so hurtful to the poor children.

[Storm Bay]

It's the parents. The system can only do so much.

 

My cousin is a meth/crack addict prostitute. Social services has been involved for years, but all she has to do is go to a few AA and/or NA meetings and she has "put forth concerted effort." It is extremely frustrating and so hurtful to the poor children.

 

Well, it's tough. On one hand, regular blood tests would prove if she's clean, but then there's the violation of rights issues. Of course, children have a right to live with parents who are not crack addicts and to not be wrenched back and forth.

[Diana in OR]

It is an imperfect system.

 

In our state, something like 77 out of 100 child deaths are while children are in foster care.

 

Here your children can be taken from you so easily and placed into foster care for months with little to no reason, while you have to struggle in court to get them back.

 

Though I hate to see children slip through the cracks with bad parents, I hate seeing good parents punished. All it takes is one false allegation and your kids could be taken away! For this, I fear a more restrictive foster care and social services system.

 

Does that really happen very often (children being taken away b/c of false allegations)? I know many people who are concerned about this, but I've only ever heard of one case of it, and that was at least 20 years ago. Around here, there are so many meth addicts that the system is already overloaded.

 

Please don't flame me for this question, b/c I'm asking in all sincerity (I really don't know the answer!).

[MelissaM]

I believe that most children who are removed need be removed. It is not easy to remove, especially permanently remove, children from parents. My guess is it's a lot like our criminal justice system in that WAAAAYYYY more guilty people go free than innocent parties are convicted.

[pmegan]

It is an imperfect system.

 

In our state, something like 77 out of 100 child deaths are while children are in foster care.

 

Since the #1 cause of death in the US, by far, is motor vehicle car crashes, I honestly doubt this and I'm wondering what your source is? I know that's a national statistic, but it seems unlikely that your state would be so wildly different from the national average.

 

Here your children can be taken from you so easily and placed into foster care for months with little to no reason, while you have to struggle in court to get them back.

 

Though I hate to see children slip through the cracks with bad parents, I hate seeing good parents punished. All it takes is one false allegation and your kids could be taken away! For this, I fear a more restrictive foster care and social services system.

 

I don't know where you live, but in most states it is quite difficult for a child to be removed from his or her parents. I know of several people who were visited by social workers because of false claims, and none of them had their children taken away. Most states make it their official priority to keep children with their families, and thus it is very difficult to remove children and very easy for children to be returned. Social workers have to jump through many hoops to remove a child (they often need a court order, which can take weeks: weeks during which a child is living with an unsuitable caregiver!), and judges, as a rule, make the bar which parents must meet to receive their children back very, very low.

 

Again, I don't know where you live, and of course there are overzealous parents and judges everywhere.