ADD/ADHD- to medicate or not???

[Hebrews3:13]

One of the many reasons I have been glad to homeschool my oldest son is his severe ADD. The boy cannot focus. When he was younger I thought it was more his age and being a boy, but it is apparent he is afflicted. My husband has a mild case and since we have an autistic son and ADD is considered "on the spectrum" it is not that surprising to me.

 

At any rate I am at my wit's end. We are already behind grade level in most things. He just could not get reading, then it was adding and subtracting. I could have literally waited until 7 years to even begin school and gotten as far as we have at this point. The last 2 weeks (unrelated to nice weather) he has been intolerable with Math. It is taking HOURS to get through a lesson. We use CLE (2nd grade though) and it has gone well the last year or so, but now he is creeping. He is so distracted. Then, once he has lost focus it takes forever for him to get back on task.

 

I am so exasperated I cannot even begin to tell you. I am in tears writing about it. Today I took a break from CLE and printed out some MM worksheets, but that was no better. He is still working on the second one an hour later.

 

The thing is, he is bright. Very bright. I feel like he is not living up to his potential in so many ways and I have to wonder and believe a medication could help.

 

My husband is adamantly against this. He never had meds, DS needs to just learn how to "deal" with it and work through it. The thing is, HE is not the one teaching him and spending hours on second grade work. I feel like my entire day is gone and I have trouble keeping the house clean as I must stay very close by or he will totally lose focus and I come back from some simple task like switching wash and he has doodled on his page and noticed a bird outside and what it has been doing. Sigh.

 

Can anyone sympathize? I don't just want a quick fix. We have been doing this for years. I cannot imagine if he were in school what he would be doing. I really cringe to think. I have tried to hard not to medicate him. I would really like to take the approach of a friend who gives her daughter the lowest dose of a med only for her school work, then when it wears off she gets no more. It is not extended release and her daughter at 11 says she can tell when it kicks in and she can focus so much better. I would not really want him on a lot for an extended period as he is already such a picky eater and paper thin.

 

I appreciate your thoughts and insights. I am in such turmoil over this.

 

Thank you all,

Laurie

[MeghanL]

oh, I can TOTALLY relate to you on this. We are in the exact same position, tears and all :(

 

I don't have any answers for you yet, because I'm still trying to find them myself. I will say though, that we have tried the medicine route and it can create a whole new set of problems. With Strattera my son would pick at his skin until we was bleeding. He would also have aggression/rage that wasn't typically his personality. He was only on it for 5 months and we had to take him off because of the side effects. We then tried Adderall and that took away his ability to eat, sleep or be creative. We're weaning him off of that now and I am determined not to put him on anything else. Your child may react differently to the medicine, and I certainly wouldn't presume that what didn't work for my child wouldn't work for yours, but I know when I was deciding for the first time, I wish someone had told me that the medicine wasn't all it was cracked up to be.

 

Other than that, I will be anxiously awaiting to hear what others have to say as this is my biggest struggle as well.

:grouphug:

[Nakia]

I don't have any solid answers for you. We suspect our youngest might have ADHD, and we are considering having her tested soon. Right now, we do not want to medicate her because she is still so young and not doing formal school. Honestly, though, if she begins to have as much trouble as your son, we would strongly consider at least a trial of medication. I think you really have to consider how hard it must be for your son to struggle so badly and let that be the deciding factor. Is it really fair to him to expect more than he is able to do? I know you said your husband is against meds, and I would never encourage you to go against your husband, but in this case, a little research and having your husband accompany you and your son to the doctor might persuade him. Either that or have your dh spend a week at home trying to teach him. That might change his mind.

 

Hope you find your answers. There are many wise mommas here with kids that have ADHD, and I know they will be able to give you great advice. :grouphug:

[TravelingChris]

NOt medicating a child like this is setting him up for failure and depression or anxiety. Think how he feels that he can't do things that others do. My medicated daughter is very successful and without medication, she wouldn't be. Medication is not a moral failing. Wouldn't you give a tyoe 1 diabetic insulin? Wouldn't you give a heart patient his medicine? Wouldn't you give a child who needs glasses, glasses? It is the same with ADHD medication.

[Ottakee]

NOt medicating a child like this is setting him up for failure and depression or anxiety. Think how he feels that he can't do things that others do. My medicated daughter is very successful and without medication, she wouldn't be. Medication is not a moral failing. Wouldn't you give a tyoe 1 diabetic insulin? Wouldn't you give a heart patient his medicine? Wouldn't you give a child who needs glasses, glasses? It is the same with ADHD medication.

 

 

I agree with this. It is not a moral failure, you are just helping him be all he can be.

 

I would find an expert in these meds (not your reg. doctor) and start a trial. It can take a while to find the right med, dose, etc. but when you do, it can be like night and day---just check out the special needs boards for some huge success stories---like one boy that gained several years of skills in just a few months once he started meds.

[AvasMom]

I don't have any answers but wanted to offer a :grouphug:. We're so there. We're continueing to work with him on attention. Right now he's doing well but reading independently is TOUGH for him. I was actually thinking of starting a thread looking for suggestions to help him extend how long he can focus on that. The energy and lack of focus aggrevate me SO much but I'm not at the point where I feel like we have done all we can do to help him with finding techniques. My dh has ADHD and was on Ritalin for years and is very much against medicating him too. So that's a factor. Have you looked at SizzleBop.com for some ideas?

 

I don't think medication is such a horrible thing though. If you know you've done all you can to help him deal with his ADD without it and he has major academic problems because of it then maybe it's the right time to try medication? I don't know. You and your husband know him best and I'm sure will make the right decision. But you aren't alone in your frustration with this.

[Plucky]

I hate medicating my ds, but it is what he needs. Before we medicated for adhd he was unable to focus on anything. We lost years of learning and development. He is also my dh's clone. I had no clue what my dh's childhood was like until we began experiencing our youngest son. I didn't believe in adhd, but I knew something was going on with my son, and I'd known it within a few months of birth.

 

It wasn't the adhd that sent me running to the doctor's office, but the depression and anxiety that my little boy was spiraling into. He was very upset all the time and scared. He knew he was different and other people were noticing and he felt awful about himself. Once we got the diagnosis, he started medicine. Day 2 of meds my little boy came to me and told me that he felt like himself for the first time. Sob! We still deal with some anxiety, but it is getting better (if he ends up needing treated for that later, we'll do that, too.)

 

When my ds does not take his meds he is off the wall and unable to control his impulses and frustrations. Adhd meds have improved my son's life immensely. I wish he didn't have to take medicine, but if he was diabetic or had any other issue he'd also have to take medicine. It's just one of those things.

 

I would take your dh and talk to a doctor. Would your dh not treat other medical issues? Good luck.

[wapiti]

A few random thoughts - First, I assume you already have an official diagnosis, correct? (Two, I do not believe ADD is on the spectrum. Not that it matters.) Three, have you tried anything like caffeine? Natural supplements? We were just discussing particular kinds of fish oil over on the SN board (a great place to ask!) and a poster mentioned ADHD in that regard. Just trying to come up with some alternatives since your DH is opposed to meds. Four, this may sound silly, but have you ruled out vision problems?

 

ETA: but yes, as a last resort, I would definitely try the meds. Like the other posters are saying, if that's what it takes for him to be successful, then that's what it takes.

 

:)

Edited April 13, 2011 by wapiti

[Jackie in NE]

One of the many reasons I have been glad to homeschool my oldest son is his severe ADD. The boy cannot focus. When he was younger I thought it was more his age and being a boy, but it is apparent he is afflicted. My husband has a mild case and since we have an autistic son and ADD is considered "on the spectrum" it is not that surprising to me.

 

At any rate I am at my wit's end. We are already behind grade level in most things. He just could not get reading, then it was adding and subtracting. I could have literally waited until 7 years to even begin school and gotten as far as we have at this point. The last 2 weeks (unrelated to nice weather) he has been intolerable with Math. It is taking HOURS to get through a lesson. We use CLE (2nd grade though) and it has gone well the last year or so, but now he is creeping. He is so distracted. Then, once he has lost focus it takes forever for him to get back on task.

 

I am so exasperated I cannot even begin to tell you. I am in tears writing about it. Today I took a break from CLE and printed out some MM worksheets, but that was no better. He is still working on the second one an hour later.

 

The thing is, he is bright. Very bright. I feel like he is not living up to his potential in so many ways and I have to wonder and believe a medication could help.

 

My husband is adamantly against this. He never had meds, DS needs to just learn how to "deal" with it and work through it. The thing is, HE is not the one teaching him and spending hours on second grade work. I feel like my entire day is gone and I have trouble keeping the house clean as I must stay very close by or he will totally lose focus and I come back from some simple task like switching wash and he has doodled on his page and noticed a bird outside and what it has been doing. Sigh.

 

Can anyone sympathize? I don't just want a quick fix. We have been doing this for years. I cannot imagine if he were in school what he would be doing. I really cringe to think. I have tried to hard not to medicate him. I would really like to take the approach of a friend who gives her daughter the lowest dose of a med only for her school work, then when it wears off she gets no more. It is not extended release and her daughter at 11 says she can tell when it kicks in and she can focus so much better. I would not really want him on a lot for an extended period as he is already such a picky eater and paper thin.

 

I appreciate your thoughts and insights. I am in such turmoil over this.

 

Thank you all,

Laurie

 

Yes. I can sympathize. :grouphug: :grouphug:

 

My own ds has the same symptoms. He was so unhappy at home. He was so frustrated. Nothing seemed to work, and he saw his brother progressing in his schoolwork, while he was not. Dh and I decided to enroll him in a local charter school. This charter school is academically rigorous, and very structured. Ds is a very bright boy, and we thought that with the right teacher, he would thrive. Ds's teacher is truly excellent. I have nothing but good things to say about her. But ds is still so frustrated and unhappy. He can. not. focus. I suspected something was wrong with his vision, and sure enough, his eyes don't focus properly, which makes reading extremely difficult. He has been in vision therapy since Sept. (@ $100/wk) and although there has been some improvement, it is miniscule. He is being tested, as we speak, for additional learning disabilities. I suspect he will land somewhere on the autism spectrum.

 

I am not averse to drugs for ADD. And frankly, (gently) I can't understand an aversion to something that will make life better for a child. We thought for a long time, that ds was just "all boy", and that he needed to start school later, after he had matured. But now we see that wasn't the case. He is 10 yrs. old now. It is time to face the fact that he needs help.

 

I hope and pray that the testing will give me some tools to help my poor, bright, frustrated, unhappy, angry ds. Life SHOULD NOT be this hard when you're 10 years old.

 

So yes, I can sympathize. It is so hard to feel so powerless to help your ds, isn't it? I truly hope that you and your dh can get your ds the help he needs. Life shouldn't be that hard.

 

:grouphug: :grouphug:, Jackie

[Plucky]

NOt medicating a child like this is setting him up for failure and depression or anxiety. Think how he feels that he can't do things that others do. My medicated daughter is very successful and without medication, she wouldn't be. Medication is not a moral failing. Wouldn't you give a tyoe 1 diabetic insulin? Wouldn't you give a heart patient his medicine? Wouldn't you give a child who needs glasses, glasses? It is the same with ADHD medication.

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

[Parrothead]

I agree with this. It is not a moral failure, you are just helping him be all he can be.

 

I would find an expert in these meds (not your reg. doctor) and start a trial. It can take a while to find the right med, dose, etc. but when you do, it can be like night and day---just check out the special needs boards for some huge success stories---like one boy that gained several years of skills in just a few months once he started meds.

:iagree: Yes, this. While I don't agree with mass distribution of ADD meds just because the teacher says, I do think that anyone who truly needs them should be allowed them. Sounds like your ds really would do better with some type of medication.

[Karen in CO]

My nephew was always "in his own world" and could never focus. My sister spent years working with the school system to keep him off medication. Finally, in middle school, he started taking medication as a trial. When he was in highschool, he chose to take his medication to help himself focus enough to get through school, and now as a young adult, he is mostly unmedicated and can "deal with it."

 

For my nephew, he would not have been able to complete school without the medication. His DoD schools were terrific; they gave him many accomodations including headphones to help him block out other noise and had him do much of his work on a computer. He currently works two jobs, one in landscaping and one in a restaurant at night. He does this without medication. Just because you may decide to try medication now, doesn't mean you are choosing for him to be medicated for the rest of his life.

[HayesW]

I am 35 years old. I was diagnosed with ADHD in college. I recently had testing done again and was rediagnosed. I began taking medication about 3 weeks ago. It has made a huge difference in my life. I was depressed, seriously so, and this has made things so much better. I now understand how people are able to function in real life. I was doing a lot of hiding and crying because I simply couldn't cope. Honestly, I have held it together for so many years because I had no choice since I was pregnant or breastfeeding. Taking meds again has truly helped me.

[Lovin Learnin]

Well, I have lived this decision with my middle child, who has been public- schooled his entire career. Ds was diagnosed in 2nd grade with ADD. DH and I were not interested in medicating him (for obvious reasons). We were not approached by the school to medicate him either. He was a C student and we were all okay with that. And then, in about 5th grade, the demands of school picked up and he couldn't handle it. HE came to US and broke down. He cried about not being able to focus. He worked harder than anyone I knew and still couldn't finish assignments or complete his homework. We took him to a neurologist and he suggested trying meds, just for a little while. We did. It has been the best decision we have made in regards to his education.

 

Immediately he went from mostly Cs with the occasional B to mostly As with the occasional B. His standardized and cognitive test scores soared, so much so that we discovered that he is gifted. He will begin college this year at a fine, highly selective, Liberal Arts school on a merit scholarship.

 

He only takes meds on school days and never in the summer. I still worry about the potential negative effects they can have on his body, but they have definitely allowed him to grow academically where I'm convinced he never would have if we had chosen not to medicate.

 

What does your son think? Is he feeling frustrated or anxious about his inability to focus?

[Ravin]

You might consider changing your approach to teaching him. Every time I try and increase DD's amount of seatwork at a time, it backfires. Ditto working independently. We are increasing these, but very, very gradually. She does great at math with me sitting next to her to bring her back to focus, and the freedom to sit on her head or otherwise wiggle and squirm while being read to or doing recitation seems to help.

 

Also, have you tried increasing his time out in green spaces? You might read "Last Child in the Woods."

 

nak

[EmilyinND]

NOt medicating a child like this is setting him up for failure and depression or anxiety. Think how he feels that he can't do things that others do. My medicated daughter is very successful and without medication, she wouldn't be. Medication is not a moral failing. Wouldn't you give a tyoe 1 diabetic insulin? Wouldn't you give a heart patient his medicine? Wouldn't you give a child who needs glasses, glasses? It is the same with ADHD medication.

:iagree:Before medicating my son, I couldn't PARENT him. He was so hyperactive & inattentive that I couldn't get through to him. Once he was medicated he could HEAR what I was saying & pause enough to think about his actions. He spent alot of his young life (Prior to age 4, when he was dx'd) getting in trouble & getting yelled at. I spent that time being angry. I did not want that to be his memories of me or his childhood. I've never been sorry that I decided to medicate.

[Lady Florida.]

NOt medicating a child like this is setting him up for failure and depression or anxiety. Think how he feels that he can't do things that others do. My medicated daughter is very successful and without medication, she wouldn't be. Medication is not a moral failing. Wouldn't you give a tyoe 1 diabetic insulin? Wouldn't you give a heart patient his medicine? Wouldn't you give a child who needs glasses, glasses? It is the same with ADHD medication.

 

Everything Chris said plus this: Medication is not a "quick fix". Many people are under the assumption that you just give a person with ADD/ADHD medication and that's all there is to it. It's not. You still have to work with the child and help him overcome the issues his ADD/ADHD present. Even an adult who goes on medication still has to work to overcome the issues. Medication helps make it easier for the person to overcome the obstacles. It doesn't overcome them for the person.

[Lady Florida.]

I am 35 years old. I was diagnosed with ADHD in college. I recently had testing done again and was rediagnosed. I began taking medication about 3 weeks ago. It has made a huge difference in my life. Taking meds again has truly helped me.

 

One of my best friends, who is also the hs mom of one of ds' best friends was recently diagnosed and went on meds (she just turned 40). She said if she had been diagnosed and put on meds when she was younger, her life would have been so much different - better. She and I talk ADD and meds a lot. She helps me understand my son, and I help her because he's actually known that he has it longer than she's known she has it.

 

It's not uncommon for recently diagnosed adults to have an aha moment, and to wish they'd known earlier about their ADD/ADHD.

[goldberry]

In making the decision whether or not to medicate my DD, reading all the experiences, the one repeated comment hit me the most - So many people that got on meds later in life, say "I only wish I had done it sooner". Parents who put their kids on meds later say the same thing.

 

I didn't want my kid to be saying that, how different her life MIGHT have been. That said, I did make sure I got a clear diagnosis from someone who specialized. I am also using natural supplements (fish oil), and behavioral modifications. BUT, the medicine has made a HUGE difference and has made her able to utilize the behaviors I am trying to teach her.

 

I used to be "anti-medication"....but I guess that's the same as all the parenting theories I had BEFORE I became a parent!:001_smile: Now, I just do what's best for my kid.

[Lisa in Jax]

We tried meds for ds, and they backfired badly -- he exhibited anger, aggression, tears, sleeping problems, weight loss, etc. For us, diet (removing gluten and dairy, preservatives and colors) and supplements (adding zinc, fish oil, Vitamin D, magnesium, etc.) made him much calmer, without any side negative effects.

 

If your dh is dead set against meds, it might be worthwhile to give diet/supplements a try, to see if you can get the effects you want, while not medicating. If you diligently try to mitigate the ADHD w/o meds for a few months and for some reason it doesn't work, he may be more open to trying meds later.

 

To be totally honest, I initially tried diet/supplements so that I could say "tried that, it didn't work." I did it to the best of my ability, though, b/c I wanted to be able to say "tried it" with a clear conscience. I hear lots of moms say, "we tried that," but they describe what they did, and it wasn't a real trial, b/c they didn't take ALL colors and ALL preservatives out of the child's diet, or they said, "we reduced dairy, but it didn't work." You have to remove it all, in every form, for a few weeks to see if it helps. Doing it halfway won't work. We did it "all the way," (which is a pain at first), but when it began to work, I was amazed at the differences in my son, so we kept doing it -- and have continued doing it -- for the last six years.

 

HIH,

 

Lisa

[kchara]

First of all, huge :grouphug:

 

I can only tell you our story. Last winter/spring (DS was just turned 7), it became apparent to me that I was in denial about DS's abilities. Something was just really, really wrong. DH thought that I was being dramatic, that he was just being a boy, and I just didn't know how to deal. Then DH took a 2 week vacation and stayed home with us. He changed his tune real quick. :glare: He was getting ready to go to school out of state with the National Guard for 8 weeks, so we decided to call our pedi and get some recommendations ASAP.

 

Our pedi, who was a homeschooling dad himself (although his children were grown at this point), saw immediately what we were talking about. He said he usually wasn't a fan of medicating, especially considering we homeschool, and he wasn't being disruptive to a class mentality, but, since DH was leaving, and I was pregnant, and had infant twins at the time, he put him on a low dose of Ritalin. And that's when things got REALLY wild.

 

DS became angry. And I don't mean just mad, I mean uncontrollable rages. It was SCARY. Pedi said it was ODD. I'm learning that's a catch-all. The rebound effect of the Ritalin was unbelievable, too. He started stealing food (and I don't mean just here and there... we're talking entire cakes, pies, an entire box of drumstick ice creams... massive amounts). When DH finally came home, we took him to a therapist right away. We had no coping skills to deal with this level of...whatever it was.

 

His therapist said it was the Ritalin, and to take him off. We did, and used caffeine (when he would drink it, he doesn't like coffee or pop) and diet changes as we could. During this time, DH got laid off, so our budget took a nosedive.

 

Now, the Ritalin helped his hyperactivity, and his focus, but it wasn't worth the rages. We moved (DH got a new job), and we've been here 4 months. It's becoming apparent (again) that he REALLY needs some help. I thought I could deal, but... it's getting worse. Especially as he starts to move up academically. Honestly, I'm not sure he's not on the spectrum somewhere. Since he's vocal, and doesn't obsess to the point of many autistic kids, no one's willing to dx him there, though. Still, I went to a new pedi (yesterday, in fact) and told him the whole story. His first response was wondering why in the world he was on Ritalin. He said most doctors don't prescribe Ritalin anymore, because of the exact things I was talking about. (The rebound, the stealing food, which he said was a result of the rebound, ect.) He wrote him a script for Concerta. DH is picking it up today.

 

All of that to say... if your son needs drugs, he needs them. Mine needs them. We're still going to be working on his diet, supplements, his behavior, things like that, but it's obvious that he needs more help than I am able to give him in that regard. So, he's going to be medicated. (And, frankly, I'm SO excited!! I can't wait to be able to talk to him again.)

 

OTOH, this is SO not a quick fix, as a PP said. These are serious psychotic drugs, and little children. It's going to take time finding what is going to work for your child. And, while something may seem to work (like Ritalin did with us) at first, doesn't mean you're not going to have to change it up later. This is a process, just like any other neurological issue you'd have to deal with. Ritalin might work miracles for some. I know one child in my family who was awesome on Ritalin, but they changed his meds (to Strattara, I think, but I'm not sure, it began with an S though) because he was losing weight. The Strattara sent him WAY over the edge, literally climbing the walls, dilated pupils, it was really weird. After that, the Ritalin never worked for him again. He's on another med now, I'm not sure which one. There's not a one-size-fits all approach to ADHD. Kids are too individual.

 

:grouphug::grouphug: again. I'm not trying to scare you away from meds. We use them, and they're necessary. Just, be aware, and be prepared for a ride either way.

 

ETA: We're still working on other methods of controlling this, too. My goal is someday for DS to be able to keep himself under control with diet, supplements, and behavioral controls, without the need for meds. BUT... in order to do this, to even begin to get through to him, he needs meds. That's our long term goal, though.

Edited April 13, 2011 by kchara

[Murmer]

:iagree:Before medicating my son, I couldn't PARENT him. He was so hyperactive & inattentive that I couldn't get through to him. Once he was medicated he could HEAR what I was saying & pause enough to think about his actions. He spent alot of his young life (Prior to age 4, when he was dx'd) getting in trouble & getting yelled at. I spent that time being angry. I did not want that to be his memories of me or his childhood. I've never been sorry that I decided to medicate.

 

:Iagree: ADHD meds have been a miracle for us...our daughter is now the amazing person that she always has been but there is a lot less of the raging, from both of us. The meds have helped put her in a place to learn...that said I strongly feel that you can't medicate a child and then think that's it. Meds are 1 way to help the child but there are behavior modifications, learning modifications and other things that are necessary to help them organize themselves with the meds helping them focus to do and learn these tasks.

[FrogMom5]

I haven't read the response posts but here goes.

 

I had always been against medicating too. When ds reached 7th grade he just seemed to have to work too hard. He was as slow as could be and everything seemed to take an unusually large amount of energy and effort.

 

I explained to my husband that it was interferring with his academics and that he would never be ready for college if this continued. I also pointed out how hard ds was working. He was working very, very hard.

 

Since ds had entered early puberty at 10 and he was already half-way through, we thought the meds might not have as many side effects. We had the dr. put ds on Stratterra. It worked. It helped him focus, speeded up his processing time and helped him gain a more positive disposition.

 

If your husband won't budge on the meds, try neurofeedback. There is a program used by NASA that uses video games, of all things! I'm looking into that now as we don't want our ds tied to medication his whole life.

 

Here's the website we're looking at www.smartbraintech.com

 

:grouphug:

Denise

[FrogMom5]

Oh yes, I wanted to ask - have you tried fish oil and dietary changes? In my ds's early years, those worked well.

 

For diet, we removed all artificial colors and flavors. We also removed gluten, casein and yeast. You might just try the colors and flavors. Look at the Feingold website for a list of foods.

 

Finally, you may want to look into Central Auditory Processing Disorder. Many kids with CAPD look very ADHD. It's worth a look.

 

I hope you find a solution.

Denise

[elise1mds]

We have an appointment on Monday to put our son back on ADHD meds. We took him off his medication when we took him out of private school, and for a while he did okay. Not great, but education wasn't impossible. He was learning, bit by bit. Breaks helped. Outside time helped. Diet was good but we eliminated a few extra things and added fish oil, and that helped. All together, these things worked for a year and a bit. Like I said, things were never great, but he was able to at least function.

 

Now... he can't function. Learning is at a standstill because he can't hold a thought process in his mind long enough to reach a conclusion. Everything is taking 2-3 times as long as it should, which means we're not progressing. I grade his math, and the grades are slipping. His swimming teacher has also mentioned that he's stopped learning because of a lack of focus. It's like keeping an airplane in a holding pattern; eventually you run out of gas. Well, I have run out of energy trying to move forward. If I can't find a way for him to be able to focus, we're going to (figuratively) crash.

 

So I'm at a loss. He is frustrated because he's unable to get stuff done, I am frustrated because I'm not able to properly help him on my own any more, and all this frustration causes his anxiety to flare and my stress level to rise and we get in a huge cycle of negativity. I don't want to drug him. I don't. But like someone on page 1 said (sorry, I forget who), it's like a diabetic or heart patient. They need the medicine to be healthy. This current cycle isn't healthy. I'm the parent and need to help him so he can have a healthy life. There's definitely a grief process to get to the point of medication, but seeing a positive difference will make you cry, too, and you'll wonder why you waited so long. I hope you're able to find something that works for you both soon. You're in my thoughts. :grouphug:

[Kim in Appalachia]

Your son is 8? Is that right? I have no idea if you should or should not medicate. My own personal bias is that 8 is too young(but I have seen kids that are very severe ADHD and needed the medication, that is a Drs call). If he can't get the work done, then you need to sit with him and keep him on task. You need to help train him to just do the next thing. My ds9 is a bit hyper and is dyslexic. It is a lot more work schooling him then my other children. Even ds6 is easier. But I think it's worth it. I give him concentrated bursts of work time, then let him explode and play elsewhere. He gets lots of breaks. I work hard to do every problem with him. I write out his math so it's less overwhelming and do samples with him in his notebook (meaning, I do the first few problems with him, then let him continue, then help as needed). It is intensive, but I am slowly seeing progress.

[amo_mea_filiis.]

If your DH is against meds, maybe you could look into other options, both medical and natural.

 

Kids with sleep apnea can present with ADD symptoms. Try diet changes. Try giving him caffine before school work. Look into Sensory Processing disorder.

 

I get a lot of looks when people (from strangers to Drs) ask what meds my ds is on and I say NONE. I was against meds, then decided to try it. My ds is allergic to the few we've tried already, and I'm not trying anything else for a while.

 

It's known that my ds's sleep is very, very off, but nothing can be done (yet!). He has a history of food allergies. He still has some lingering GI problems, and severe sensory processing disorder (and more).

 

My goals are to address my son's sleep (sleep studies show that he has an average of 100 spontaneous arousals each night), aggressively treat his asthma, figure out his GI issues, and get him on a good sensory diet, and continue his good food diet. If ALL of our ducks are in order and he's still having problems, then I will try more meds.

[elise1mds]

Kids with sleep apnea can present with ADD symptoms. [edit] Try giving him caffine before school work. Look into Sensory Processing disorder.

 

Very true. My son's ADHD was even worse than it is now before he had his tonsils and adenoids removed. He was on the verge of being labeled ODD, but I knew he wasn't. Surgery helped. Caffeine does help my kiddo, but his metabolism is so quick that it's through his system before school is done. I know auditory therapy would help my son, too, but he has to be able to sit still for 30 minutes at a time so we can do it... which is why we're getting him on the medication first. Catch-22 right there ;)

[5knights3maidens]

Well, dd will be 8 in the summer. It got so bad around here that I was in tears and so was everyone else. She couldn't concentrate and was all over the place. We have had vitamins, supplements, she is on a very strict diet but it is not enough. Even her DAN doctor saw how she "climbs the walls". He said he gets people in and he can't see anything wrong with their kids and they want medication. I went in, feeling helpless and not wanting medication but we decided it was best. She is on 7.5 mg of focalin and it is working. I understand that is a small dose compared to what alot of other children take. She can now do her school work and enjoy listening to books being read to her and she is excellent at reading and math. She now takes therapeutic horse riding lessons and is doing well. She has her moments but that's ok, she's enjoying life (and so are we). :001_smile:

[Hebrews3:13]

Thank you for your responses. So many and so varied. I can say I have tried a lot of natural stuff. We actively do fish oil and several other supplements to no avail. He actually is worse it seems when I give them. We did gluten free, casein free and all of that years ago because of our autistic son. I saw no difference there with this son.

 

He does get lots of time outside and exercise. I think that at least makes him less hyper, but does not seem to help with focus.

 

He is a nightmare to parent honestly. He is my most trying child of the four, and makes my autistic one seem easy. He, of course, cannot focus on instructions I give or even requests to come or attempts to discipline him. I hadn't even considered that something could help with that.

 

I understand that meds could backfire or it could take many attempts to help him find the right one. He is already an easily angered child that we have worked intently with to curb his rage, so I would be praying meds did not have that affect on him.

 

Since his siblings are not so close to him in age he doesn't seem to notice that he cannot do some things like they can. His cousin, a grade younger in ps can do all academics quicker and more efficiently, but it does not seem to phase him right now. I do know that things are getting more difficult (getting ready to begin multiplication) and will continue to and I worry what that will look like for me. I am already usually working with him intently until 1:00. I have one coming up into K-5 next year and my high schooler actually needs me more now than in Middle school. I seem to have no time left.

 

I already do pretty much stay by his side while he works. I only leave a few minutes at a time to tend to the other children or grab some laundry, move over some- then right back to fold them in his presence or something like that. I can see him (only feet away) from the kitchen sink, but a lot of the time I am right next to him. I had hoped by now he could work more independently, but that is certainly not the case.

 

If he was going to grow out of it wouldn't it be getting better instead of worse? It is definitely worse this year, especially the last month or so. I cannot imagine how I will work with my youngest next year. If she is even in the room right now he can do nothing. NOTHING! :confused:

 

So, who should I see- the pediatrician and ask for a neurologist or who? Do any of you just let the Pedi prescribe? She would be easier to get in and see if the meds were a bad fit. My husband does want him to see a psychologist friend (cannot prescribe) to also rule out his being on the spectrum since his brother is. At times I have wondered. DH did agree to at least go find out and see what they say. He is hoping for some sort of other techniques to cope though.

 

I guess I am exasperated and just at the end of the rope. I have been asking DH about this on and off for years. He always has refused and blown me off and now I just feel defeated. Today I could really just quit the whole thing. I am tired and even though DH has agreed to go see a Dr. he is fighting me all the way and playing devil's advocate with every comment I make.

 

Thank you all for your experiences!

Laurie

[Plucky]

Thank you for your responses. So many and so varied. I can say I have tried a lot of natural stuff. We actively do fish oil and several other supplements to no avail. He actually is worse it seems when I give them. We did gluten free, casein free and all of that years ago because of our autistic son. I saw no difference there with this son.

 

He does get lots of time outside and exercise. I think that at least makes him less hyper, but does not seem to help with focus.

 

He is a nightmare to parent honestly. He is my most trying child of the four, and makes my autistic one seem easy. He, of course, cannot focus on instructions I give or even requests to come or attempts to discipline him. I hadn't even considered that something could help with that.

 

I understand that meds could backfire or it could take many attempts to help him find the right one. He is already an easily angered child that we have worked intently with to curb his rage, so I would be praying meds did not have that affect on him.

 

Since his siblings are not so close to him in age he doesn't seem to notice that he cannot do some things like they can. His cousin, a grade younger in ps can do all academics quicker and more efficiently, but it does not seem to phase him right now. I do know that things are getting more difficult (getting ready to begin multiplication) and will continue to and I worry what that will look like for me. I am already usually working with him intently until 1:00. I have one coming up into K-5 next year and my high schooler actually needs me more now than in Middle school. I seem to have no time left.

 

I already do pretty much stay by his side while he works. I only leave a few minutes at a time to tend to the other children or grab some laundry, move over some- then right back to fold them in his presence or something like that. I can see him (only feet away) from the kitchen sink, but a lot of the time I am right next to him. I had hoped by now he could work more independently, but that is certainly not the case.

 

If he was going to grow out of it wouldn't it be getting better instead of worse? It is definitely worse this year, especially the last month or so. I cannot imagine how I will work with my youngest next year. If she is even in the room right now he can do nothing. NOTHING! :confused:

 

So, who should I see- the pediatrician and ask for a neurologist or who? Do any of you just let the Pedi prescribe? She would be easier to get in and see if the meds were a bad fit. My husband does want him to see a psychologist friend (cannot prescribe) to also rule out his being on the spectrum since his brother is. At times I have wondered. DH did agree to at least go find out and see what they say. He is hoping for some sort of other techniques to cope though.

 

I guess I am exasperated and just at the end of the rope. I have been asking DH about this on and off for years. He always has refused and blown me off and now I just feel defeated. Today I could really just quit the whole thing. I am tired and even though DH has agreed to go see a Dr. he is fighting me all the way and playing devil's advocate with every comment I make.

 

Thank you all for your experiences!

Laurie

 

Have him read the comments. Also, my doctor told me 8-10 is the prime age for diagnosis. It is then that parents realize something has to be done. :grouphug:

[Peela]

I am on the no medication side of the story. Dh is ADHD. Stepdd22 is ADHD. She was medicated against her father's will and it did not help her school results although it made her more compliant and easy to be around. She now suffers from anxiety and OCD, badly, and is an alcoholic. She herself feels it is all related to being medicated all her teen years.

 

There was never any consideration that ds15 would go on any meds. He does not have such extreme symptoms as his dad and sister, but I had to sit with him to get him to focus for years and years and he was always behind. He is now at school and its hard for him. And that's ok with us all. He is now mature enough to find ways to handle it and learn.

 

I am more of the approach that they need to learn how to live as they are and school results are not the be all and end all of life and should not be the deciding factor of whether a kid goes on psychotropic, brain chemistry altering meds. My son is not a brilliant scholar by any means but he has many other qualities which will bear him through his life.

 

Dh feels it is his ADHD which made him a successful entrepreneur /businessman and then later therapist. He is unusual, earns money in unusual ways, and thinks differently to most people. He was expelled from highschool! He believes he was made the way he was for a reason and accepts himself as he is and is extremely anti medication- and I can assure you he is an extreme case. His childhood was rough though.

 

I know my position is unpopular with those who choose to medicate but I wanted to express it too. And I am not judging every single individual- but I do judge a society that wants to medicate its kids because of how they handle their schoolwork. If school results are the be all and end all of a successful life, then drugs may be the answer for many people- and i understand everyone is doing what they feels is right for them. But thats not our approach.

[NanceXToo]

My daughter had ADD. She went to public school and she's got special needs to begin with and required a special ed class, ADD was just another thing on top of it.

 

In first grade the teachers suggested I look into getting medication for her.

 

My initial reaction was probably similar to your husband's. I thought "medicate her?! No way!" I thought that would be putting a bandaid on a problem, turning her into some sort of zombie who wasn't herself, taking the easy way out in a selfish manner and so on.

 

But she was really having trouble. Couldn't focus, would just start ripping papers or getting up and wandering and once walked right out of the classroom (and there was no defiant attitude going on here, it was just she couldn't sit, she couldn't focus).

 

Finally, I took her for a couple of consultations and gave in to giving medication a try.

 

The difference was amazing. She was able to sit still, she was able to focus, she was able to stop getting in trouble in school, I was able to stop getting phone calls and notes about her, she seemed happier, I was happier, the teachers were happier...

 

She did NOT turn into a "zombie." She just became more focused and a better "listener" because she was more focused.

 

She ended up being on medication until she was like 16 1/2 years old. The only side effect she ever had in all that time was that she didn't have much of an appetite around lunch time so she wouldn't really eat her lunch. She'd make up for it at dinner time.

 

When she was 16 1/2 or so, I asked her doctor if he thought we could try taking her off the medicine and seeing how she did, seeing as she was so much older. He agreed, we gave it a try, and after a minor adjustment period, she ended up doing just fine without it. She's now 19 and still attending a special needs school/life skills class but still doing fine without the medication.

 

I have NO regrets whatsoever about the years she spent on it- she needed it, and it benefited her, and by default, everybody else around her.

 

Good luck!

 

ETA: Oh and let me just say I love Chris's post, the one that said: "NOt medicating a child like this is setting him up for failure and depression or anxiety. Think how he feels that he can't do things that others do. My medicated daughter is very successful and without medication, she wouldn't be. Medication is not a moral failing. Wouldn't you give a tyoe 1 diabetic insulin? Wouldn't you give a heart patient his medicine? Wouldn't you give a child who needs glasses, glasses? It is the same with ADHD medication."

[elise1mds]

One of the things I always told myself (and stuck to) was that if a child needed to be medicated, then they needed to have a therapist/psychologist, too. So when we put DS on medication for the first time, we found a pediatric psychologist to help him create a "toolbox" of coping mechanisms for those times that he was having difficulty, because I didn't want him drugged so strongly that he couldn't get upset, KWIM?? They have worked well up until recently, say November, and I strongly suspect that his age, growth and maturity have a lot to do with our recent struggles, along with the need to hold more information in his head during school. In short, we need a new "toolbox."

 

Anyway, we started the diagnostic process at the pediatrician and she remained our primary prescriber. That's who we will be seeing next week, too. She is more knowledgeable than the average ped about psychiatric illnesses and knows her limits. I have read and listened much and decided that I am happy to have her prescribe for the ADHD. As I said, we also have a psychologist that DS sees when he has problems. The biggest issue I have run into is that without stability on medication, it's darn near impossible for my son to implement any sort of applied behavioral analysis (ABA) or cognitive behavioral (CBT) therapy techniques to help stop the negative behaviors, either before OR after they happen. They snowball. Once he's stable on medication, though, he can take a step or two back, conquer new techniques, learn new coping skills, find new things that work for him, and then we can look at taking him off the medication again. I truly hope that they are not a permanent solution for my boy. I know that I wouldn't put him on the meds at all if he wasn't on board, but even he is out of ideas.

 

If you're not comfortable with your pediatrician prescribing, I would look at getting in with a pediatric psychiatrist to do the prescribing and finding a separate therapist to see on a more regular basis for the behavior modification. That's what I'm doing with DD. She likely has a mood disorder, and my ped has told me that she isn't as comfortable with those medications as she is with ADHD and some of the more 'common' pediatric disorders. So we see a psychiatrist for her. She's not on medication yet, but it's likely that one day she will be, and if/when that day comes, I'll get her in with a therapist, too.

 

There's only so much hand-holding you can do before it becomes a disability for you both.

 

One last question... is he on melatonin or clonidine at bedtime? If sleep is an issue, as it is for many kids with ADHD, you might give that a shot before you try anything harder. We give DS 3 mg of melatonin each night, and while the mornings/days aren't really any smoother, at least he's not bouncing out of bed till 10 or 11 p.m.!

[OrganicAnn]

We like Dr. Hallowell's books about ADD/ADHD. He writes about medication.

[kchara]

One of the things I always told myself (and stuck to) was that if a child needed to be medicated, then they needed to have a therapist/psychologist, too. So when we put DS on medication for the first time, we found a pediatric psychologist to help him create a "toolbox" of coping mechanisms for those times that he was having difficulty, because I didn't want him drugged so strongly that he couldn't get upset, KWIM?? They have worked well up until recently, say November, and I strongly suspect that his age, growth and maturity have a lot to do with our recent struggles, along with the need to hold more information in his head during school. In short, we need a new "toolbox."

 

 

 

:iagree: We're going to be going to a therapist again soon, as well. (We lost ours during a move, but we're looking for a new one.) We had our pedi do the initial prescribing, but, ideally, the therapist and pedi should and would work together, I would think. That's how my cousin's is done, anyway, and that's the sort of "team" relationship I'm hoping to find between our pedi and whatever therapist we find. Otherwise, it seems no one's on the same page, and that can end up badly all the way around.

[ange]

Just wanted to give you some :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: and let you know you are not alone. Our 7 yo ds is severe ADHD. We finally started the meds route when he was having depression and low self- image over not being able to read. We started w/ concerta, then very briefly on Vyvanse. He was doing much better w/ focus and attention on Concerta, and within days started blending and sounding out words. However, he also began to have mood changes not typical to his personality. It worried us enough to stop it, move onto the next stimulant, and when the moodiness started up again, we stopped stimulants. We are know trying a non-stimulant, Intuniv. Just so you know, there are alternatives to stimulants. We have not seen as much improvement w/ it, but he is happy and not slipping into mood swings. Not sure if this will be "it" as it takes longer to see effectiveness, but we are open to trying meds for the time being. It is something you have to just pray about and with your husband determine if the current situation is worse than the possible side affects of meds. In the meantime, you may want to try teaching to the kinesthetic learning style, as most if not all ADHD kids are that learning style. Doing worksheets may be the worst way for your son to learn math, he may need to do his math while doing jumping jacks (and get it done faster and with better retention.) Dr. Stephen Guffanti covers this topic well. He is a ER doctor that is also ADHD and dyslexic and has written a book about ADHD and created a phonics curriculum. I found his insights helpful for my son (and for myself about how to teach him!) I know how hard this is! Praying you find what you need!! ~Angie

[Liz CA]

In addition to Wapiti's suggestions, you may want to check into diet issues as well. Some commercially grown fruits and veggies are amazingly high in pesticides of all varieties and one or more of these can affect people in various ways. Taking a multi-pronged approach would make most sense to me.

And then there are several supplements/vitamins that you could try. If you can get your dh on board with eventually trying some meds, you can carefully monitor your son and see if it's working or not or if he can cope much better on supplements only.

 

I personally know of a case where a child was supposedly diagnosed as autistic, behaved like an autistic child until a complete diet change revealed that he was not autistic at all but suffered from some kind neurological disorder while eating certain fruits that were sprayed with some chemical.

Edited April 14, 2011 by Liz CA

[Guest mrsajoy]

I COMPLETELY relate!! Last year my ds was diagnosed with high functioning autism, and this year they tacked on ADHD, ODD, and OCD to that. I have been anti medicine for forever. We delay and selective vaccinate, we are into natural medical treatments, etc. When we first started having problems with him, he was about 3. He would have rages out of no where, and there was no calming him down. I had to restrain him till he fell asleep. If he had two of those a day, that was my whole day; I also had his two younger sisters to be a mom to. At this time he was in speech through the public school and his speech therapist noticed his ADHD and ODD and suggested he be evaluated and medicated. I was absolutely disgusted with the idea. So, I changed his diet.

 

The first thing I removed from his diet was artificial dyes. About a month after that change, his rages were completely gone. Now the only time he rages is when he's had dyes.

 

Years past, and I thought by age five, his problems we had, he would grow out of. Sadly, he didn't. He had horrible meltdowns, the word I said to him most was 'focus!', the phrase I said most to him was 'Have you lost your mind?' He would just go in our neighbors homes, no knocking and just start playing with their stuff. Go in their garages, and start using their stuff. Take stickers and put them on neighbors cars. And so much more.

 

He got the diagnosis of autism, and I learned all I could. Then we got the ADHD, ODD, and OCD diagnosis, and medicine was suggested. I was adamantly against this. So we continued with life.

 

Several months ago I actually considered putting him on medicine, and I was disgusted with myself. Although I didn't think negatively of any other parents who medicated their child, I made a commitment to myself as a person and as a parent to never medicate my child.

 

A few weeks ago, my poor son was acting severally manic. We had to leave church because he was acting like a mad man. He was running all over the place, could not settle into any activity, couldn't tune into anything that was said to him, and he was scaling walls. He also couldn't talk clearly. He would just repeat one word, over and over, and over and over and over again. It was so scary for me. I got him in to see the doctor the next day. She was concerned, and timidly brought up the topic of medicine. I was so scared for my son that I told her to give him anything that would make him turn back to his normal self, and she did.

 

It's been two weeks now on medicine. At first, I couldn't enjoy him and I felt so guilty that I could even consider even enjoying him more so on medicine then without. But now, I'm starting to get use to it, and yet I still feel shameful about that. But I don't think I've once said 'focus', he's more obedient, just so much easy to handle. *hang heads in shame:( *

 

I don't know if he is going to stay on this med or not. We have an EEG tomorrow to see if there is anything that we need to be aware of and concerned about that caused his manic behaviour.

[Guest mrsajoy]

Thank you for your responses. So many and so varied. I can say I have tried a lot of natural stuff. We actively do fish oil and several other supplements to no avail. He actually is worse it seems when I give them. We did gluten free, casein free and all of that years ago because of our autistic son. I saw no difference there with this son.

 

He does get lots of time outside and exercise. I think that at least makes him less hyper, but does not seem to help with focus.

 

He is a nightmare to parent honestly. He is my most trying child of the four, and makes my autistic one seem easy. He, of course, cannot focus on instructions I give or even requests to come or attempts to discipline him. I hadn't even considered that something could help with that.

 

I understand that meds could backfire or it could take many attempts to help him find the right one. He is already an easily angered child that we have worked intently with to curb his rage, so I would be praying meds did not have that affect on him.

 

Since his siblings are not so close to him in age he doesn't seem to notice that he cannot do some things like they can. His cousin, a grade younger in ps can do all academics quicker and more efficiently, but it does not seem to phase him right now. I do know that things are getting more difficult (getting ready to begin multiplication) and will continue to and I worry what that will look like for me. I am already usually working with him intently until 1:00. I have one coming up into K-5 next year and my high schooler actually needs me more now than in Middle school. I seem to have no time left.

 

I already do pretty much stay by his side while he works. I only leave a few minutes at a time to tend to the other children or grab some laundry, move over some- then right back to fold them in his presence or something like that. I can see him (only feet away) from the kitchen sink, but a lot of the time I am right next to him. I had hoped by now he could work more independently, but that is certainly not the case.

 

If he was going to grow out of it wouldn't it be getting better instead of worse? It is definitely worse this year, especially the last month or so. I cannot imagine how I will work with my youngest next year. If she is even in the room right now he can do nothing. NOTHING! :confused:

 

So, who should I see- the pediatrician and ask for a neurologist or who? Do any of you just let the Pedi prescribe? She would be easier to get in and see if the meds were a bad fit. My husband does want him to see a psychologist friend (cannot prescribe) to also rule out his being on the spectrum since his brother is. At times I have wondered. DH did agree to at least go find out and see what they say. He is hoping for some sort of other techniques to cope though.

 

I guess I am exasperated and just at the end of the rope. I have been asking DH about this on and off for years. He always has refused and blown me off and now I just feel defeated. Today I could really just quit the whole thing. I am tired and even though DH has agreed to go see a Dr. he is fighting me all the way and playing devil's advocate with every comment I make.

 

Thank you all for your experiences!

Laurie

 

:grouphug: It is hard, and something has got to give. Maybe hand over the schooling for him to dad. Maybe if dad is the one who has to deal with it, his tune might change?

[KidsHappen]

I was actually going to ask the same question today myself. I have no idea and if you are familiar with my posts, you would think I knew. I am bi-polar. My mother was bi-polar as was one of my brothers. One of my children is diagnosed bi-polar and I strongly suspect that another one is as well but not diagnosed. I also have ADD and OCD. All of my children are ADD. Two have OCD and two have anxiety. In spite of this, only two of us are medicated (myself and the diagnosed bi-polar child). Medicine has been a resounding success story for us so you would think I would be pro-meds but I am still ambivilant. I have been lowering our doses and we seem to be doing ok. My youngest is really struggling with ADD and GAD and I am unsure whether to medicate her. She has been to the pdoc and has been prescribed meds. We have hesitantly instituted them. I have pulled her out of school though and it has made a huge difference and I think that we could manage without the meds. I had made the decision to try and proceed without them but we went to the doctor today and she said she wants to take them and says they help her so I really don't know what to do. I think I am going to go with the smallest possible dose for a short period of time and see how is goes. It is a complicated issue and a tough decision.

[Geo]

One of the many reasons I have been glad to homeschool my oldest son is his severe ADD. The boy cannot focus. When he was younger I thought it was more his age and being a boy, but it is apparent he is afflicted. My husband has a mild case and since we have an autistic son and ADD is considered "on the spectrum" it is not that surprising to me.

 

At any rate I am at my wit's end. We are already behind grade level in most things. He just could not get reading, then it was adding and subtracting. I could have literally waited until 7 years to even begin school and gotten as far as we have at this point. The last 2 weeks (unrelated to nice weather) he has been intolerable with Math. It is taking HOURS to get through a lesson. We use CLE (2nd grade though) and it has gone well the last year or so, but now he is creeping. He is so distracted. Then, once he has lost focus it takes forever for him to get back on task.

 

I am so exasperated I cannot even begin to tell you. I am in tears writing about it. Today I took a break from CLE and printed out some MM worksheets, but that was no better. He is still working on the second one an hour later.

 

The thing is, he is bright. Very bright. I feel like he is not living up to his potential in so many ways and I have to wonder and believe a medication could help.

 

My husband is adamantly against this. He never had meds, DS needs to just learn how to "deal" with it and work through it. The thing is, HE is not the one teaching him and spending hours on second grade work. I feel like my entire day is gone and I have trouble keeping the house clean as I must stay very close by or he will totally lose focus and I come back from some simple task like switching wash and he has doodled on his page and noticed a bird outside and what it has been doing. Sigh.

 

Can anyone sympathize? I don't just want a quick fix. We have been doing this for years. I cannot imagine if he were in school what he would be doing. I really cringe to think. I have tried to hard not to medicate him. I would really like to take the approach of a friend who gives her daughter the lowest dose of a med only for her school work, then when it wears off she gets no more. It is not extended release and her daughter at 11 says she can tell when it kicks in and she can focus so much better. I would not really want him on a lot for an extended period as he is already such a picky eater and paper thin.

 

I appreciate your thoughts and insights. I am in such turmoil over this.

 

Thank you all,

Laurie

 

Laurie,

First, a :grouphug:. Ooooh, do I understand. DS9 has (severe) ADHD w/ anxiety and ODD. He's also, "very quirky". He too, wasn't learning. He had 3 to 5 meltdowns.every.day. Sometimes more. The years of stress nearly did our family in. Literally. My dh was in total denial. He resented my efforts to even discuss the issue (to put it lightly). It about tore our family apart. I finally had to stand up and take ds to to the ped for a referral. It was the best thing I have ever done...for my son, my marriage and our family as a whole. Medication has helped tremendously. Even so, it has not been a magic bullet. There is the time before the meds "kick in" and the hours after they have worn off. Unmedicated, he is still incredibly stressful to be around. DS is finally reading, eventhough he is still two years behind. His math is nearly three years behind, but there is now progress where there was none...before the meds. My son is also bright, very bright....Silicon Valley bright. I do believe he will catch up at some point. We are all healing. I should have pressed the issue years before. We might have avoided the ODD. :confused: I have friends with autistic children...and they agree, my son is WAY more difficult to manage, relationally speaking. To sum it up: my son is growing, our marriage is healing, our whole family is better. It began with getting our son the help he needed. Go for it. Look into it. PM me anytime.

 

:grouphug:

 

Geo