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Kids' "allowance" for expectations vs. paid chores QUESTION ~ how do you handle?


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DD turns 12 next month.

 

She's always had "expectations" that were/are age-appropriate:

 

2 -4 years - pick up toys

6 - sort and fold laundry (not exactly neat at this age)

 

And, with each passing year or two the expectations become more sophisticated although she is still lagging a bit behind for her age.

 

Now, she'll carry laundry basket upstairs, sort, fold and store. She empties the dishwasher.

 

Empites her trash can in the bathroom.

 

There are others, but these are ideas.

 

My dh and I believe that there are certain "expectations" that children should have. We believe the work ethic is important.

 

For what would you pay for a job? We do not want to pay for expectations, but know that their are extra "chores" for which she could earn money.

 

How is this handled in your family? Do you give an allowance and not expect anything? Do you give allowance and expect at least the basic expectations? Do you not pay for any "extra" chore? Or, do you pay for specific chores? Like mowing the grass, washing the dog, washing the car.

 

List expectations ~

 

 

 

 

 

 

List paid chores ~

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thanks!

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List expectations ~

 

Empty dishwasher (a.m.)

Load dishwasher after lunch (breakfast/lunch dishes)

Load dishwasher after supper

Tidy kitchen (store leftovers, clean counters, sweep floor) after supper

Take out garbage (as needed)

Tidy his own bedroom/bathroom once per week

Carry his own laundry upstairs

Keep his school work and books organized

Clean out the van (weekly, with assistance from siblings)

Clean up after himself as needed

 

List paid chores ~

 

Babysitting

Lawn work (mowing, bagging, raking, etc.)

Help Dad clean out the garage (monthly)

Help Dad clean out the attic (annually)

Wash a vehicle

Organize kitchen cupboards, the linen closet, etc.

Clean out the refrigerator

Washing windows, dusting ceiling fans, cleaning baseboards, and other 'spring cleaning'

 

These are for my 12 year old. Last week I started paying out a minimal weekly allowance (up to 5.00) for the 'expectations'. We had not done this previously, but I found myself needing to come up with a way for the boys to pay for things that they damage through neglect or careless behavior. I don't pay out for extra chores if the expectations are not up to par. Earning money for extra chores is a privilege.

Edited by Pretty in Pink
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I have an 8 year old ds (turning 9 next month). He has had regular chores since around age 5 (at 4 and earlier, he'd clean up to the "clean up song" we made up). Now he does the dishes (loads and unloads the dishwasher and starts it and helps wash or dry when there are too many dishes for the washer). He cleans the dog waste from the backyard every day and makes sure the cat box is clean. He takes out the compost, garbage, and recycling. He straightens the house with us, vacuums when asked, straightens his room when needed, brings his laundry to the basement once or twice a week for me to do, cleans his bathroom a couple of times a month, and sweeps when told to. When we do a major cleaning he does what we tell him to. He also sometimes walks and brushes the dog.

 

For all of that we pay him $4/week. Mind you, he's an only child and wants for nothing, really. He's required to put some of his money (usually birthday cash) into the bank and keep a $25 minimum. Plus he donates a few dollars now and again to his favorite local charity or to our church.

 

Very occasionally we'll give him an extra job to do for extra money. Yesterday he helped us clean out the garden beds and we paid him $7 for about 2 hours worth of work (with lots of breaks). Plus I took him to his favorite place for a huge frozen yogurt with loads of goodies in it.

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Guest mrsajoy

My kids are 3, 4, and 6.

 

Morning: empty dishwasher, put sorted clothes away.

 

Afternoons: clean and vacuum their rooms, empty trash cans and put in trash bags, help prepare supper

 

Night: put clothes in washing machine, clean kitchen after supper (this includes cleaning table, putting dirty dishes in dishwasher, and sweeping, and sometimes mopping)

 

These are things they have to do. If I ask for their help with dusting, cleaning windows, etc they must do it without pay. However:) If they ask, on their own accord, to do a chore that is not a requirement, such as dusting, cleaning windows, they get paid a quarter. Right now the only thing the get paid for if they are asked to do it, is picking up dog poop from the back yard.

 

My four year old actually comes to me and asks to pick up dog poop. Weird, but she likes her money:)

 

As they get older, they will get paid for other things I ask them to do, such as cleaning the garage, cleaning the car, or other challenging tasks.

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Currently I don't require anything of my 4 year old except for her to help clean up toys. As for my 6 (almost 7) year old, I started requiring more of her right about the time she turned 5.

 

At first, I started basing her allowance on what chores she completed. That turned out to be too much of a hassle.

 

Now, she gets $5 per week ($4 to do what she wants with, .50 cents into savings, and .50 cents into giving to Jesus) and it is NOT based on chore completion. It is to teach her to handle money, to save for what she wants, and to avoid the "pleeeeaaase can I have it's" at the store.

 

As for chores....I began to tell her that she is a part of this family and this family works together to get things done. She lives here, she helps. I do not have a specific chore list written down for her. She knows that she is to feed/water the dogs each day and she's the main one to let them in/out and check to make sure they are not dirty. She knows to bring her dirty laundry hamper to the laundry room when it is nearing the top. She knows to vacuum whenever I ask her. She knows to clean up her toys.

 

I also expect her help whenever I ask on various other things. And she is VERY good about helping without complaining. I'll ask her to clear the table, bring me her sister's laundry hamper, etc.

 

For other, more "major" chores, I'm willing to pay her (in addition to her allowance that's not tied to chores).....things like wiping the base boards, etc.

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We give an allowance until age 13, not based on chores. That is their spending money--$1/month for every year of age. It was pretty low, but we still paid for things like birthday party gifts and necessary clothing.

 

They do chores because they live here.

 

My 13yo dd is expected to

 

Unload the dishwasher daily.

Clean up the kitchen after dinner.

Keep her room neat.

 

Besides that, she does what I ask her to--vacuum, dust, laundry, bathrooms, etc. I might pay for a job that was particularly unenjoyable.

 

At 13 now, dd is babysitting and making way more $ than her allowance ever was. She still does her chores, but like with her older brothers, I do take into account how much she is working.

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Thanks for your input, ladies. I see a little bit of a pattern here....as I reflect on chores/expectations pd vs unpd b/t the younger and older years.

 

My dd was more eager to work on tasts when she was younger and didn't have the school "load" requirement. Now, finishing 6th grade and trying to manage her special needs, it's becoming increasingly difficult for her to complete her work, let alone her "daily/weekly/monthly list".

 

I'm enjoying the insight....like I said, my dh and I believe work for the common good of the family is important. Christus, you rock! I love the tithe and we have not kept up on this as we should. We did when she was younger. Although in her defense she does initiate tithing.

 

Anyone else?

 

:bigear:

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We have done the same as Puma Mom: $1/month for every year of age. They've never lacked though. We buy them the things they need during the year.

 

When they'd get their allowance once a month, they would do 10% for Tithe, chosen amount for offerings, and 1/2 of the total amount went to savings. The rest, though not that much, was their free money.

 

We figured it helped them learn to save, and remember to tithe, and with not much left, they learned to be careful where/how they spent what was left over! As I said, they didn't NEED more usually, so it was more an easy exercise to help them learn, and it gave them savings that they weill be able to use later when mom and dad aren't covering things for them!

 

They have always been able to do extra chores for extra money. Pulling weeds and yard work is the main one, but washing vehicles and helping with "dirty jobs" they'd get paid some for. Reality is, when you start working as a teen, you don't make huge amounts, so we didn't pay huge amounts. They realized the importance of $$ and how you have to work for what you receive (in other words, money doesn't grow on trees).

 

They also have had regular "part of the family" chores. It's just expected, and we've never had a problem with chore time. Those chores deal with daily family stuff--dishes, cleaning kitchen, their rooms, vacuuming hallways and rooms, emptying trash, sweeping mopping, etc. Years ago the kids fell into a pattern, all on their own. On Fridays we do a large amount of chores, and, even though the boys have been gone off and on, when they are home they STILL automatically do those same chores! (Gotta love that!) :D

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Our children have expected chores that they do daily and weekly. They do not do these chores for allowance or pay. These are chores that have been chosen because they help keep our home clean and running smoothly.

 

On the refrigerator we have a list of additional chores that they children can choose to do for pay. Examples: Wash the car outside, clean the car inside, rake leaves for 20 minutes, sweep and mop one room, dust the entire downstairs.... The pay ranges from 50 cents to $5 depending on the chore. Occasionally, I will assign a chore from the list (and pay), but typically it's up to the boys to take the initiative to do the chore.

 

Cat

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DD turns 12 next month.

 

She's always had "expectations" that were/are age-appropriate:

 

2 -4 years - pick up toys

6 - sort and fold laundry (not exactly neat at this age)

 

And, with each passing year or two the expectations become more sophisticated although she is still lagging a bit behind for her age.

 

Now, she'll carry laundry basket upstairs, sort, fold and store. She empties the dishwasher.

 

Empites her trash can in the bathroom.

 

There are others, but these are ideas.

 

My dh and I believe that there are certain "expectations" that children should have. We believe the work ethic is important.

 

For what would you pay for a job? We do not want to pay for expectations, but know that their are extra "chores" for which she could earn money.

 

How is this handled in your family? Do you give an allowance and not expect anything? Do you give allowance and expect at least the basic expectations? Do you not pay for any "extra" chore? Or, do you pay for specific chores? Like mowing the grass, washing the dog, washing the car.

 

List expectations ~

 

The expectation that I would buy my own sanitary supplies, deoderant, perfume, makeup, panty hose, shoes, put 10% in savings, gave 10% to the church and pay for my telephone bill. Later my gas money that I had to "chip in" towards the kid car weekly was included in this amount.

 

My allowance was based on the budgeted amount for these items. I got $80/month. And I received this all the way through college

 

 

List paid chores ~

My chores were could be different and change as frequently as needed. My biggest chore was to have a happy helper attitude no matter the need. I never lost my allowance. I did learn a lot about budgeting my money and wants.

 

 

 

Thanks!

HTH

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My kids have expectations because they are part of the family, and the whole family pitches in to keep things running smoothly.

 

My kids have an allowance, which is given to them out of their parents' generosity as a teaching tool so that they can learn to manage their own money appropriately.

 

I have been known to occasionally pay a child for extra yard work or cleaning if he is trying to earn some money for something special. My current going rate is $5 per hour.

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We give 50 cents per year of age 2x per month (on dh's payday). It is not necessarily linked to chores, although they are expected to do certain chores each day. We also have "extra" jobs for which they can earn extra allowance (cleaning out van, mowing, babysitting, yardwork, cleaning gutters, washing windows, etc.). We are beginning to use a modified system based on the Accountable Kids system but plan to keep the "allowance" and extra jobs as they are. My kids are required to use their allowance to purchase any "extras" they want (candy, sodas, junk food, toys, movies, church functions w/in reason, clothing not deemed necessary by Mom :), bday gifts for friends, etc.). Expectations increase by age, but in our house even the young ones are responsible for their own laundry (from age 7 up), keeping room tidy, dusting, vacuuming, sweeping, dishes, etc.). Oldest dd14 trades babysitting for having a cell phone on our plan so she does not get "paid" for babysitting her sibs. We will occasionally have to dock allowance for chores consistently left undone.

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We've never linked chores to money either. My husband wanted our kids to have allowances for practice at handling money, but at the same time, we're of the mindset that a family and families share the burdens of home/family maintenance at an age-appropriate level. It isn't something you're ever paid for--it's doing your part as a member of the family.

 

Further, they don't need money. We supply their needs. So money is simply there for them to give at church, save for bigger items, and spend on anything but necessities.

 

Beyond that, we may occasionally "hire" them to do things above and beyond what is normally expected, especially the older kids. (Like wash their Dad's truck or clean out Grandma's storage shed.)

 

Our kids started getting $4/week at the age of 5, going up $1 each year until they're 16. At that point, they will lose the "official" allowance, and we'll give them money on a case by case basis as needed. ($20 to go to the movies, $10 to go eat with friends, etc.)

 

Also, we've always made sure they understood that it was a sheer luxury and was only something they received when money wasn't tight. We've had to skip weeks a few times. My husband usually tracks it and gives them all they've missed as if it was in a savings account when finances loosen back up--but that's purely his prerogative--not their expectation.

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I figure that I am teaching the kids how to keep house and what-not right along with math and grammar. I think they need a lot of practice, too. I don't pay them, and I don't get paid either!

 

If my kids want some cash they have been pretty creative over the years finding ways to make money.

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This is what we do in our home: I have a 10, 9 and 6 year old. There are certain things they MUST do...make bed, tidy room, put school books away when school is done, fold and put clean clothes away, etc. But then there are a few jobs that I will pay a quarter for each one...each child has one that can be done daily...cleaning bathroom sink, wiping down the mirrors in the bathrooms and taking out trash...and a couple that rotate...vacuuming, disinfecting all of the door knobs and light switches, sorting laundry. BUT..they won't get paid for those jobs if their non-paying jobs aren't being done. This workd really well in our home. And then...on occasion there will be other expectations given to them if company is coming...or things are just generally a mess...no pay for those either....unless it was a super big job.

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These are for my 12 year old. Last week I started paying out a minimal weekly allowance (up to 5.00) for the 'expectations'. We had not done this previously, but I found myself needing to come up with a way for the boys to pay for things that they damage through neglect or careless behavior. I don't pay out for extra chores if the expectations are not up to par. Earning money for extra chores is a privilege.

 

This is a great idea! I haven't paid my dc their allowance in a very long time because they never complete the expected chores w/o me having to prod them along or remind. This may be the way to get them to see the light as my oldest want extra chores as they see this as a way to make some money. My dh pays my boys when they mow/edge/sweep and bag the lawn so maybe we should review that as well.

 

Thanks!

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We do pay for expected chores, dh and I decided that it helps them learn that if you do a job for pay then you better do it when you're supposed to and do it well.

 

My kids are expected to

brush their teeth

-brush their hair

make bed

bring down any dirty dishes from their rooms

scoop dog doo in the yard

scoop litter box for cat

shower on their scheduled days at minimum

put their dirty clothes in the appropriate laundry receptacle

clean their rooms

clean the play rooms

feed the pets at night

 

They each have to possibility to earn $5 a week. I pay by percentage of chores done.

90-100% = $5

80-89% = $4

70-79% = $3

60-69% =$2

50-59% = $1

 

So how much they get for allowance is all up to them. I only nag them about the pet related chores. If they forget one of those not only do they not get paid, they are fined $0.25 for each violation, because with that I'm trying to teach them that the pets depend on us, they didn't ask to be our pets so it's our job to make sure they have everything they need, because they can't scoop their own doo, or get the food out of the bucket/water from the sink.

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The boys get a flat allowance of a quarter per year they are old. This is weekly and not tied to expected chores.

Expected chores are as follows:

11 year old:

Make bed

Pick up bathroom

Keep room clean

Take out trash

Empty dishwasher of upper cabinet dishes

Take out recycling

 

8 year old

Pick up toys

Keep room clean

Empty dishwasher of lower cabinet dishes

Take care of toads (our pets in a tank)

 

To earn extra money:

Mow lawn (usually 8 yo does this; we have a push mower and a smallish yard)

Crush cans for recycling.

Pull weeds

 

Each of the extra money chores makes between $2-$5 depending on how much time and energy it takes.

 

They also earn money at my parents' house for crushing cans and pulling weeds.

 

HTH

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I give my kids a set amount of family funny money at the beginning of each month, color coded for each kid. They can lose money for negative behaviors (these depend on the child, and they know what they are) and earn money for chores done beyond the regular call of duty. At the end of the month, half of whatever is left is put aside for savings and half is set aside for spending.

 

Both kids have several 'must do' chores:

Make bed daily

Put dirty clothes in hampers

Fold and put away clothes after they've been washed and dried (ability to do this well varies by age, and I frequently go back in to check and/or redo some work)

Set table when asked

Put away dishes from dishwasher (6-yo puts away silverware, not including sharp knives; 8-yo puts away pots, pans, and most kitchen utensils except knives)

Help keep rooms clean (8-yo dusts; 6-yo vacuums... this may seem odd, but the 6-yo has her own vacuum and enjoys this task immensely)

Practice instrument without being nagged (6-yo only)

 

Optional chores:

Feed pets (8-yo only)

Help clean the rest of the house (this is where the big bucks get earned)

Help fix meals

Help sort and wash the laundry

Help Daddy around the yard

When it's the season, weed the garden

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I've never been one to give money for doing certain jobs that are just part of being a family. Cleaning the kitchen after meals, etc. As of late a friend of mine described how they do allowance and it was SO wise and it's now how we do it. The purpose of an allowance IMO should not be incentives to do little extra chores here or there should they feel like it. The purpose should be to help teach our children the broad responsibility the way they would in a real job. I don't want our children to learn they can choose to be lazy for a week then when they want to go somewhere, do some garage cleaning and earn money. Nor do I want them to look at work as a list of things to I want them to learn how to get up everyday and have an area of responsibility that not only includes menial tasks but also creativity and maturity to learn to handle their area.

 

Our children are assigned areas of responsibility. So let's say my daughter (almost 10) has the laundry and food storage. Her job is not only to do all the laundry, but fold (mom often sits with her and folds to chat of course) and put the laundry away. She keeps all the children's clothes' shelves clean. She also keeps the shelves in the laundry room straightened and makes sure we have homemade laundry soap made. If not, she makes it or makes sure mom does. She also keeps the food storage cleaned and inventoried (she begged for this job BTW as she likes doing inventory).

 

They apprentice for a month for free. If at a month they still can't do the job, their apprenticeship goes longer. After they're ready to graduate from apprenticeship they take over the responsibility and get their weekly allowance "salary". They learn that not only are there daily boring tasks that they have to do to keep their area under control BUT they also get to be creative in managing their area. So Cassie decides what laundry is done what day. She has had to learn to manage her time wisely. Or realizing that we need some different containers for the little ones' clothes so they don't tear up their shelves looking for things. Or learning that some things work best if soaked overnight.

 

So it's not just a list of things to do "take out trash", "feed dog" to crank out to get money, but something to prepare them for work in real life.

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We're a bit odd. We don't give an allowance, but all family members have equal access to all money the family has. So if a child has a need for something, it is considered along with every other thing the family needs. I have always been opposed to the idea of "money burning a hole in their pocket," as that isn't really a realistic expectation for adult life. So we don't give them money that they then have to figure out how to spend, whether they have a legitimate need/want, but instead work as a family to budget. Instead of practicing money skills with an artificial allowance, they practice on an actual family budget.

 

Similarly, we don't have specific chores, other than the obvious self-care items, but instead everyone is expected to do all that is needed to run our home.

 

So I guess in answer to the question, we give money when needed, and we expect all chores to be done without any pay.

Edited by angela in ohio
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