I someone says they are "not Christian"

[Desert Strawberry]

would you take that to mean that are athesist/agnostic/without faith/non-believer?

[texasmama]

No.

[Pretty in Pink]

No. There are many faiths and belief systems other than Christianity. For that matter, they may identify themselves as a follower of Christ, but wish to avoid the label 'Christian'. So be it.

[Gracily]

No. They could be Muslim, Jewish, Buddhist, etc.

[Carrie12345]

No.

[Ellie]

No.

[Night Elf]

would you take that to mean that are athesist/agnostic/without faith/non-believer?

 

This should elicit some interesting responses from the people on this board who are not Christians but are of other faiths. How insulting.

 

Thread topics come in cycles. Based on some of the current threads on this topic, I say here we go again!

[kalanamak]

In general, no.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I would take it to mean that they are . not . a . Christian.

Edited April 2, 2011 by Jean in Newcastle
bolding

[Evergreen State Sue]

That's a good question! I guess I wouldn't assume and just ask, "If you are not a Christian, what is your belief?"

[LibraryLover]

No.

[Lostinabook]

No. I'd just assume the person isn't a Christian.

[Desert Strawberry]

This should elicit some interesting responses from the people on this board who are not Christians but are of other faiths. How insulting.

 

Thread topics come in cycles. Based on some of the current threads on this topic, I say here we go again!

 

I apologize if I have unintentionally insulted anyone.

 

We are a Shinto/Zen Buddhist family. My husband and I disagree on proper wording when someone asks about our faith. He will say we are "not Christian". I always say that we are Buddhist.

 

IMO "Not Christian" implies a lack of faith, and does not clearly express that we do HAVE a faith, just not the majority one.

 

FTR, the question is almost always "Are you Christian?" (or some variant) to which he says simply "No" and I say "No, we are Buddhist."

 

A common variation is "where do you go to church" or "What church do you go to" or something along those lines. My husband will reply that we do not attend church. I will reply that we worship (practice is a more proper word) at home.

 

 

I find that we get VERY different responses, depending on our wording.

 

My intention in starting this thread is only to get a bit of perspective on a common topic of discussion in our home.

Edited April 2, 2011 by strawberrymama

[Jean in Newcastle]

I apologize if I have unintentionally insulted anyone.

 

We are a Shinto/Zen Buddhist family. My husband and I disagree on proper wording when someone asks about our faith. He will say we are "not Christian". I always say that we are Buddhist.

 

IMO "Not Christian" implies a lack of faith, and does not clearly express that we do HAVE a faith, just not the majority one.

 

FTR, the question is almost always "Are you Christian?" (or some variant) to which he says simply "No" and I say "No, we are Buddhist."

 

A common variation is "where do you go to church" or "What church do you go to" or something along those lines. My husband will reply that we do not attend church. I will reply that we worship (practice is a more proper word) at home.

 

 

I find that we get VERY different responses, depending on our wording.

 

My intention in starting this thread is only to get a bit of perspective on a common topic of discussion in our home.

 

You are both correct. You are NOT Christians. You ARE Buddhists. One answer emphasizes what you are not, the other emphasizes what you are.

[momma aimee]

would you take that to mean that are athesist/agnostic/without faith/non-believer?

 

totally depends on the situation. totally

 

Jean -- fwiw -- i do not like defining myself by a "not" -- I'd say "I am Buiddist" in your situation; I say "I breastfeed" not "I do not fourmal feed". Just me.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Jean -- fwiw -- i do not like defining myself by a "not" --

 

Oh, I agree with you. But technically, both are right. Since I don't know what the different reactions are for the two different answers, I don't know if that would influence what someone would say, either.

[Rosie_0801]

This should elicit some interesting responses from the people on this board who are not Christians but are of other faiths. How insulting.

 

Here's a thought. If you want all these Christians or whoever they are to stop insulting the rest of us, you have to allow them to ask their questions. I would like everyone around here to put some effort into keeping a line drawn in the sand between annoying and insulting.

 

Annoying is a question you don't think should need to be answered yet again, but here it is.

Annoying is a really badly worded question that won't ever be worded that badly again by that person, if only we can answer their questions, gently bringing them to understanding.

 

Insulting is a question so badly worded that you can't pretend they really don't know better. "Hey! You people who aren't of my denomination are GOING TO H-E-L-L, doesn't that bother you?" is insulting.

 

Insulting is accusing people of being insulting right off the bat instead attempting to be gentle. Gentle is "did you mean <insert more polite version of the question.>"

 

Thread topics come in cycles. Based on some of the current threads on this topic, I say here we go again!

Quite so, but you know there is a rule about not opening threads you know you will find insulting, don't you?

 

 

To me "not-Christian" means potentially anything under the sun that isn't Christian, and the person isn't expecting a pleasant reaction so isn't going to tell you anything more specific.

 

Rosie

[Miss Sherry]

would you take that to mean that are athesist/agnostic/without faith/non-believer?

No, I just wouldn't know what they believed unless they told me or I already knew what they believed.

[stephanier.1765]

No, it would just mean they aren't a Christian.

[AvasMom]

would you take that to mean that are athesist/agnostic/without faith/non-believer?

 

I use to. I was raised in a rural area where everyone was either Christian or non-religious. I've lived all over the country since (Navy husband) and in many diverse areas so I don't automatically assume that anymore. I think whether that is your first thought depends on your exposure to other faiths.

[kdeno]

I wouldn't assume anything.

[AvasMom]

I apologize if I have unintentionally insulted anyone.

 

We are a Shinto/Zen Buddhist family. My husband and I disagree on proper wording when someone asks about our faith. He will say we are "not Christian". I always say that we are Buddhist.

 

IMO "Not Christian" implies a lack of faith, and does not clearly express that we do HAVE a faith, just not the majority one.

 

FTR, the question is almost always "Are you Christian?" (or some variant) to which he says simply "No" and I say "No, we are Buddhist."

 

A common variation is "where do you go to church" or "What church do you go to" or something along those lines. My husband will reply that we do not attend church. I will reply that we worship (practice is a more proper word) at home.

 

 

I find that we get VERY different responses, depending on our wording.

 

My intention in starting this thread is only to get a bit of perspective on a common topic of discussion in our home.

 

I would answer the way you do. I would say what you said just like it's another denomination and no biggie.

[Audrey]

would you take that to mean that are athesist/agnostic/without faith/non-believer?

 

It would depend entirely on the context of the conversation in which they said "I'm not Christian."

[Parrothead]

No, I would not think someone who is not a Christian is without faith.

[momofkhm]

No, just that they aren't Christian. They could be Muslim, Hindu, Jewish. They could be any of a number of things.

[Impish]

Honestly, this just doesn't come up irl, at least not that I can think of. Religion just isn't a casual topic of conversation, at least not in my experience. It doesn't come up in hsing group, coffee night out with other moms, etc.

 

The only place where I've seen religion be such a topic is online. Or, with very, very close friends/family members.

[Pretty in Pink]

OP, I do not find your question to be insulting. You've got to have a thick skin to post 'round these parts some days. Don't sweat it. :grouphug:

[mommaduck]

I would take it very simply...they are not Christian and could be anything else.

[Mommy22alyns]

. I don't ask people about their religion, but for argument sake if I did and they said "I'm not Christian" I would take that to mean they were atheist/agnostic/non-religious. Who answers it that way if they are in fact practicing some other religion?

 

 

 

That's kind of how I feel too. It could also be where I live - not a lot of religious diversity.

 

Maybe like, "Do your kids go to school?" You don't just say no and leave them hanging, right?

[secular_mom]

I would think it means they aren't Christian. :)

[Jennifer3141]

I'd take it to mean that that person is not Christian.

[NanceXToo]

Sometimes a question comes up on this board that seems like it might be more geared toward Christians. If I want to reply, I might say, "I am not Christian, but...."

 

Sometimes someone will wish start asking us about Christmas and we might say, "We don't celebrate Christmas."

 

In actuality, I'm Jewish. But I don't always follow up by specifying that. Granted, I'm Jewish more by heritage than by religious belief at this point, I'm kind of a secular Jew who celebrates the main holidays with my family mainly for purposes of culture and tradition, I guess. I guess I might call myself agnostic these days. But when I say "I'm not Christian," I don't mean anything more to it than "I'm not Christian."

[Tap]

I apologize if I have unintentionally insulted anyone.

 

We are a Shinto/Zen Buddhist family. My husband and I disagree on proper wording when someone asks about our faith. He will say we are "not Christian". I always say that we are Buddhist.

 

IMO "Not Christian" implies a lack of faith, and does not clearly express that we do HAVE a faith, just not the majority one.

 

FTR, the question is almost always "Are you Christian?" (or some variant) to which he says simply "No" and I say "No, we are Buddhist."

 

A common variation is "where do you go to church" or "What church do you go to" or something along those lines. My husband will reply that we do not attend church. I will reply that we worship (practice is a more proper word) at home.

 

 

I find that we get VERY different responses, depending on our wording.

 

My intention in starting this thread is only to get a bit of perspective on a common topic of discussion in our home.

 

To me:

 

Your dh is answering their question.

 

You are offering an explanation.

 

 

ETA: to answer your first question. I would take it to mean that they do not consider themselves to be Christian by their definition of Christian.

[Negin]

No, we're not Christians. We do believe in God and we also do believe in and love Christ, equally to all the Manifestations of God. We believe that all religions are one, God is one, and mankind is one. If there is one God, there's one religion - the religion of God - that just comes at different times.

[elizabeth]

Absolutely not. There are many varieties of religious belief that are not Xn. Although many of them behave as if that is the only game in town. At least the only one worth believing. I strongly disagree.

[Nestof3]

It would be pretty silly to do so. :confused:

[KarenNC]

That would be my assumption. I don't ask people about their religion, but for argument sake if I did and they said "I'm not Christian" I would take that to mean they were atheist/agnostic/non-religious. Who answers it that way if they are in fact practicing some other religion?

 

Perhaps your husband gives that answer because he doesn't want to discuss his religion? That's the only reason I can imagine for answering that way.

 

I used that phrase recently in the context of jury duty. When they were handing out Bibles upon which to swear (as part of a mass oath), there weren't quite enough to go around and the gentleman next to me offered me his. I said, "Thanks, but I'm not Christian, so it wouldn't make any difference to have one or not."

 

The issue comes up more often than some might think (at least it does around here:)). For us, the issue is that we're not a "regular" variety of "not-Christian" (think Hindu, Jewish, Muslim, Buddhist, etc or even atheist or agnostic), so those asking don't have a real frame of reference for my answer. Frankly, most of the time it's kinder to the questioner to just go the "we're not Christian" route than to say (in my not-so-cosmopolitan Southern American town), "We're Hellenic Neopagan Unitarian Universalists with a lot of influence from Shinto, Buddhism and Reform Judaism." ;)

[bbmom]

I would not assume that if someone said they are not Christian that meant they are not religious. If I was truly interested I would follow up with more questions. I would find it odd and slightly (very) annoying to be asked point blank "are you a Christian" so I don't find it odd that your husband would simply answer no-especially if you are asked on a regular basis.

[Old Dominion Heather]

You know, since I grew up in a small Southern town, I think you (KarenNC) hit the nail on the head about being kind enough to go with the "We're not Christian" response. I think you sort of know what people can handle and what they can't. (I am Christian, I just know what you mean about the small town thing. Anything outside the expected answers can throw some people off.)

[Haiku]

I am not Christian. I am an adherent of another religion. "Not Christian" merely means someone is not Christian.

 

Tara

[Haiku]

Honestly, this just doesn't come up irl, at least not that I can think of. Religion just isn't a casual topic of conversation, at least not in my experience. It doesn't come up in hsing group, coffee night out with other moms, etc.

 

 

 

It comes up frequently in my circles. Religion is a very big topic of conversation where I live and with the people I meet. Recently I met a woman at a youth skate. After introducing herself and asking who my kids were, she asked what church I attended. Not unusual at all around here ... and this was at a community open skate, not some sort of religious event.

 

Tara

[UmMusa]

would you take that to mean that are athesist/agnostic/without faith/non-believer?

Those aren't the only options if one is not a Christian, so no, I wouldn't limit myself to assuming they were one of those. I'd just assume they were not Christian. Why do you ask?

 

edited to add: I just read your reason for asking on pg 2. sorry!

Edited April 3, 2011 by UmMusa
clarification

[secular_mom]

Honestly, this just doesn't come up irl, at least not that I can think of. Religion just isn't a casual topic of conversation, at least not in my experience. It doesn't come up in hsing group, coffee night out with other moms, etc.

 

The only place where I've seen religion be such a topic is online. Or, with very, very close friends/family members.

Must be nice.

[Jenny in Florida]

I'm not a Christian, but an absolutely a believer. I have friends who are Christians, friends who are devout followers of other faiths and friends who are not religious. There is room for more than two categories.

[eternalknot]

would you take that to mean that are athesist/agnostic/without faith/non-believer?

 

I'm not Christian. When I say that, I mean it at face value. When others say it, I take it at face value. That is - I'm not Christian. Nothing more, nothing less; I don't really read anything into it.

 

I guess it's akin to saying: "I'm not Jennifer," or "I'm not a New Yorker." I wouldn't take that to mean someone is Judy, or Floridian ... just that they weren't Jennifer or a New Yorker.

[eternalknot]

Honestly, this just doesn't come up irl, at least not that I can think of. Religion just isn't a casual topic of conversation, at least not in my experience. It doesn't come up in hsing group, coffee night out with other moms, etc.

 

The only place where I've seen religion be such a topic is online. Or, with very, very close friends/family members.

 

 

I live in the Bible Belt, so around here it comes up. Frequently, even. It's assumed one goes to (Christian) church, so it's common to - early in a casual conversation - ask where one attends services.

 

It also comes up casually when I don't observe (or know about) certain Christian holidays, traditions, people in history. I didn't grow up in a predominantly Christian place so much of it is unfamiliar to me, and that's sometimes obvious in casual conversations.

 

I usually just tell people I'm not Christian, rather than disclose what I am. I find that (around here, anyhow) to disclose what you are is perceived as an invitation to discuss religion. And around here "discussing" religion is a very slippery, quick slope into evangelizing. I'm not looking to become Christian, however well-intentioned someone is in trying to 'save' me.

[alpidarkomama]

We are a Shinto/Zen Buddhist family. My husband and I disagree on proper wording when someone asks about our faith. He will say we are "not Christian". I always say that we are Buddhist

 

I always say, "No, we're Jewish." because I'm not not-Christian, I'm Jewish! :)

[Mom-ninja.]

would you take that to mean that are athesist/agnostic/without faith/non-believer?

 

no

[Impish]

Please, don't take my last response as being negative. I'm honestly surprised that religious beliefs are ok for casual conversation. Its just not been a part of my experience at all.

 

I guess I was raised that its something intensely personal. Its only been in the last cpl of years that I even discuss it with my parents, lol!

 

 

[LidiyaDawn]

IRL, I do tend to assume (unless told otherwise) that the person is Atheist/Agnostic - because that's been my experience and we tend to base our reactions/etc on our past experiences. Does that make sense? It's sort of my 'default setting'… it doesn't MEAN anything - other than that I'm expecting things to be the same as they have been most of the time. That's pretty normal, I think.

Edited April 3, 2011 by LidiyaDawn
fix spelling