Babies at conventions? Help!!!

[Susan Wise Bauer]

On another thread, a discussion started about not going to conventions because of babies in the convention room making SO much noise. Other moms posted that they don't want to feel unwelcome...

 

Asking the Hive Mind for help here.

 

I have taken babies with me MANY places and I know how hard it is. I would never want to make a mother or father feel UNWELCOME. On the other hand, I have been increasingly aware over the last couple of years that noisy babies are not being taken out of my convention workshops. Occasionally I have wanted to stop, stare down at the parent, and say, "Please take that baby OUT NOW." (I think I actually did that once.) The problem is that 1) it's horribly humiliating for the parent, 2) I lose my place, and 3) it ends up on the convention tape.

 

It occurs to me that this has gotten worse recently because I've done more of the "Great Homeschool Conventions" series and fewer state conventions. (A lot of state conventions won't invite me because I'm not conservative enough, before someone asks me why.) I love the "Great Homeschool Conventions" but the organizer, wonderful in many ways, does not provide a room-sitter/hostess, so there's no one to introduce you--and NO ONE to ask a parent to take a noisy baby out.

 

After MidSouth, I've kind of had it. When a baby is crying, I CANNOT keep my own thoughts straight, and it must be incredibly annoying to the many, many people who have come without their babies so that they can listen.

 

So I have three questions.

 

1) You parents who come without babies: what do you wish would happen when a baby keeps crying? If the speaker stopped and threw them out, would your gratitude overwhelm your discomfort?

 

2) You parents WITH babies: how would you hope that this would be handled, if you were the owner of the noisy infant?, and

 

3) Would anyone who's attending Cincy like to volunteer to be a room-sitter and tap parents with noisy babies on the shoulder and ask them to leave? We come to these things with a skeleton crew, so I don't have anyone to do this--but I could probably get you a vendor badge.

 

SWB

[Danestress]

How about reminding people before you start that the speech is being taped so to please turn off cellphones and to take crying babies out. But tell them that if they have to leave because of a crying baby or child, to email Peace Hill and you will make sure they get the taped speech provided for free when it is digitized and ready to send. That way they won't be feeling like they are going to miss the speech of their lives!

[abbeyej]

As a mom withOUT babies, I think I'd prefer a quick reminder at the beginning of each (and every!) talk that lets parents know that quiet babies are welcome, but vocal babies should be removed to the hallway. (Better yet, there should be a "cry room" somewhere in the convention where moms can sit quietly to nurse or change diapers or calm fretful little ones in relative peace.)

 

I know some parents will continue to ignore announcements like that, but it seems to me the best first defense. And if there *is* a cry room somewhere at the convention, it makes it easier for neighbors of the loud baby to whisper quietly, "You know, there's a cry room just past Ballroom B..."

[ladydusk]

I don't have any answers for you for Cinci. I know in one of my CDs you introduced yourself and asked people to turn off phones, to be sure to take out crying children because they were distracting *to *you (not just the audience), etc. I thought that was a gracious way of handling it. I've listened to that CD a few times, I guess :)

 

I do know that when the organizers ask for thoughts or ideas following the conference, I will recommend some kind of room-sitter/hostess for at least the Featured Speakers.

 

I always try to sit in the front middle which helps me to avoid distraction ... that and going to a church where children sit through the service has helped me ignore almost anyone but my own children :)

[just Jenny]

Would it work to make a gentle announcement at the beginning of your talk welcoming everyone including babies, but also making an appeal, in consideration for all present, that if a baby begins to cry the baby's caregiver please take the baby out of the room until the baby is quiet again?

 

By the way, thank you for hosting this forum. :001_smile:

Edited March 7, 2011 by just Jenny

[TN Mama]

I don't have babies any longer, but I also get distracted when a baby is crying and I'm trying hard to focus on something (like listening to a speaker). I would feel more grateful than uncomfortable if someone was asked to take a crying baby out. Imo, it's common courtesy for the parent to do so without being asked.

 

ETA: And I totally agree with mentioning prior to the workshop about silencing cell phones & leaving with an unhappy child.

[ChristusG]

Honestly, it's just rude people who wold keep a noisy baby in a place like that. I bring my babies with my EVERYWHERE when they are under 2. I never leave them anywhere. I bring them into church, conventions, scrapbooking crops, etc. If they start to get the least bit noisy, we are up and out of there.

 

Last week at church my parents sat in front of someone who had an extremely noisy baby. They just sat there, baby making all sorts of loud noises while in church. It was very disrupting.

 

1) You parents who come without babies: what do you wish would happen when a baby keeps crying? If the speaker stopped and threw them out, would your gratitude overwhelm your discomfort? Hmmm....I would be a bit uncomfortable. I'm not really sure there's an easy way to "throw out" a person with a disruptive baby. People should be smart enough to realize their baby is being disruptive. You could put a nice big sign on the door saying "IF YOUR BABY IS DISRUPTIVE, PLEASE REMOVE THEM OR ELSE YOU WILL BE REMOVED." Once that warning is in place, it would be easier to tap a mom on the shoulder and ask them to leave.

 

2) You parents WITH babies: how would you hope that this would be handled, if you were the owner of the noisy infant? I would have already left before my baby became disruptive, but a tap on the shoulder and a quick whisper in my ear would be nice. I don't like confrontation, so I would leave. But you would get others who may confront you. That's why I like the warning sign on the door....or from the speaker before it begins.

[muffinmom]

I honestly don't understand why those parents can't notice that the baby is distracting the audience and speaker. I think most parents, especially homeschoolers, can empathize when a baby is fussy and knows you can't control when they choose to melt down. But those same homeschoolers also don't want to give up their chance at hearing a speaker they came, in many cases, a long way to hear (not to mention paid money to hear).

 

I was always conscious of my babies' behavior in public places. If they were fussing, I took them out so that everyone else could keep going. It's very simple to me. I wish others would grant the same courtesy.

 

ETA: But apparently some people need a nudge in that direction, so I vote for the ideas of mentioning it before the speech (also posting a sign wouldn't hurt), and a tap and whisper to follow up.

Edited March 7, 2011 by muffinmom

[Paisley Hedgehog]

.

[Sevilla]

I think the best way to handle it with the parent is to point out that the audio of the talk is being taped. That way, it's not framed as 'you're so inconsiderate with your noisey baby' (which puts people on the defensive and can lead to persecution complexes "They threw me out - they're supposed to be family friendly!!!'). By making the 'we're taping this' the bad guy, it gives a perfectly reasonable explanation for removing a noisy infant without making the speaker out to be the bad guy :).

Edited March 7, 2011 by Sevilla

[elegantlion]

How about reminding people before you start that the speech is being taped so to please turn off cellphones and to take crying babies out. But tell them that if they have to leave because of a crying baby or child, to email Peace Hill and you will make sure they get the taped speech provided for free when it is digitized and ready to send. That way they won't be feeling like they are going to miss the speech of their lives!

 

:iagree: If you bring it up before speaking then YOU are not the bad guy for speaking up when it does happen.

 

I appreciate babies, but if I am paying to hear to attend a conference and hear the speakers I would like to hear the speakers without distraction.

 

To answer question 1. *I* would appreciate the boldness of a speaker to stop and address the mother with a crying baby. I might feel embarrassed for the parent. However, I would expect the parent to recognize when their child had become a distraction and leave of their own accord.

 

I will say I have a few taped lectures (that I paid for) where there are people coughing very close to the recoding device. It's very distracting, I would find a crying baby even more so.

[Mrs Mungo]

Background: I have 3 children, all of whom nursed until they were 2 1/2. My dh deployed a couple of times when my kids were little. I lived far, far from any family members. So, I did take my babies everywhere. I was a LLLLeader and have seen many, MANY babies in conferences in that context. Noisy babies are almost always expected to be removed from a situation where people are paying attention to a speaker. It's true in church, in LLL meetings and so forth.

 

1) You parents who come without babies: what do you wish would happen when a baby keeps crying? If the speaker stopped and threw them out, would your gratitude overwhelm your discomfort?

 

I think the suggestion from Danestress is a good one. Remind people up front-please put your phones on vibrate, please remove crying babies, remember that this talk is being taped. I would not mind if a speaker stopped and said "I'm sorry, would you please take the baby out, this is being recorded." It's directive, but still polite.

 

2) You parents WITH babies: how would you hope that this would be handled, if you were the owner of the noisy infant?, and

 

I would take my baby out. I would not be surprised to be kicked out of a place if I was letting my baby cry over a speaker.

 

3) Would anyone who's attending Cincy like to volunteer to be a room-sitter and tap parents with noisy babies on the shoulder and ask them to leave? We come to these things with a skeleton crew, so I don't have anyone to do this--but I could probably get you a vendor badge.

 

I won't be there in Cincy, but I will be in SC. And I don't mind being bossy and direct, as you probably know. ;)

[MeaganS]

I was there. For every session I attended that SWB was giving (3 maybe?), she did ask them to turn off cell phones and take out fussy babies, so I guess that didn't work so well. :001_smile:

[LibraryLover]

It sounds like you are making a gentle request at the beginning. I like the idea of having someone kindly and gently tap the parent on the shoulder. Sometimes I'd not been aware of how loud my own children could get, so I would be fine with that reminder. One sort of habituates certain sounds. Ah, that would be me. ;)

 

Of course, it's possible you may get a wounded parent on the tape crying, "I paid for this conference, why does the world hate babies so much!". :D

 

Tough one. If I lived in Cincy, I'd volunteer. I can be very discreet, but I also have a thick skin. Good luck. I can imagine the frustration.

Edited March 7, 2011 by LibraryLover

[FaithManor]

Susan,

 

Dh and I had to take our babies with us many, many places and one of the things we were very careful of, was to leave as soon as a baby became fussy. It is the polite, courteous, and thoughtful thing to do. However, many courtesies have become passe because we have a culture that emphasizes, me, me, me, myself, and I above others. So, many people believe they shouldn't have to leave with the baby. After all, they paid for it, they don't want to miss anything, they don't want to have to go out, etc. Many of them just do not stop to think about how distracting it is to others in the seminar.

 

If I was the owner of a noisy infant, I'd be in the back standing with said infant on my hip and then ducking out at the first sign of trouble. But, I was raised well!:D So, I can't speak to what the owners of noisy babes would want to happen if they haven't already exercised the courtesy and good sense to pop out into the hallway.

 

But, I think that you should have a bouncer who looks none threatening but wears a badge that says, "I have the authority to ask you to step out". To make it more palatable to those who may not take this well, give your bouncers coupons for significantly discounted copies of the seminar on CD! :001_smile: Possibly, hand out bags of M & M's too! Chocolate helps the medicine go down.

 

Also, I'd contact the Cinci people and demand an announcement be made from a Cinci coordinator in front of the microphone - preferably your basic army drill sergeant type personality but dressed in civilian clothes - concerning the protocol and procedure that will occur if children become unduly noisy and are distracting others.

 

I would love to work for you as a bouncer. But, currently, it isn't in my plan to attend the convention. Dh's work schedule is not forgiving at this time.

 

Do you have M & M's? You will probably need them before this thread is complete. The boards have been :lurk5: lately, to say the least!

 

Faith

[5kidsforME]

On another thread, a discussion started about not going to conventions because of babies in the convention room making SO much noise. Other moms posted that they don't want to feel unwelcome...

 

Asking the Hive Mind for help here.

 

I have taken babies with me MANY places and I know how hard it is. I would never want to make a mother or father feel UNWELCOME. On the other hand, I have been increasingly aware over the last couple of years that noisy babies are not being taken out of my convention workshops. Occasionally I have wanted to stop, stare down at the parent, and say, "Please take that baby OUT NOW." (I think I actually did that once.) The problem is that 1) it's horribly humiliating for the parent, 2) I lose my place, and 3) it ends up on the convention tape.

 

It occurs to me that this has gotten worse recently because I've done more of the "Great Homeschool Conventions" series and fewer state conventions. (A lot of state conventions won't invite me because I'm not conservative enough, before someone asks me why.) I love the "Great Homeschool Conventions" but the organizer, wonderful in many ways, does not provide a room-sitter/hostess, so there's no one to introduce you--and NO ONE to ask a parent to take a noisy baby out.

 

After MidSouth, I've kind of had it. When a baby is crying, I CANNOT keep my own thoughts straight, and it must be incredibly annoying to the many, many people who have come without their babies so that they can listen.

 

So I have three questions.

 

1) You parents who come without babies: what do you wish would happen when a baby keeps crying? If the speaker stopped and threw them out, would your gratitude overwhelm your discomfort?

 

2) You parents WITH babies: how would you hope that this would be handled, if you were the owner of the noisy infant?, and

 

3) Would anyone who's attending Cincy like to volunteer to be a room-sitter and tap parents with noisy babies on the shoulder and ask them to leave? We come to these things with a skeleton crew, so I don't have anyone to do this--but I could probably get you a vendor badge.

 

SWB

 

First I want to say, it is really really annoying when there is a loud child that is not taken out. It is no longer just babies either, there are a lot of toddlers that come. (:confused: I cannot imagine making my toddler sit through 12 hours at a convention) One of the last conventions we attended this happened numerous times. I finally went and talked to someone at the information desk about it.

 

 

1) You parents who come without babies: what do you wish would happen when a baby keeps crying? If the speaker stopped and threw them out, would your gratitude overwhelm your discomfort?

 

I am not one for humiliating people BUT I would be overwhelmed with gratitude if the speaker asked them to leave. The above convention I was at where a particular child was SCREAMING, it was during Andrew Pudewas(sp?) talk. You could tell he was distracted and I felt bad for him and TICKED OFF at the parent for making all of us, including their child, suffer.

 

2) You parents WITH babies: how would you hope that this would be handled, if you were the owner of the noisy infant?, and

 

This is the first year we are going with an infant, it won't be an issue for me. If you see a woman at the Cincy convention that stands up and walks out with her infant, that made just a tiny peep once, it's me. :tongue_smilie: I have no desire to draw attention away from any of the speakers and then have that attention put on me and my crying baby.

 

As for asking parents how they would hope it to be handled....Honestly? If they think it needs to be handled at all they are one of the problems!! :lol:

Edited March 7, 2011 by Momto4kids

[AuntieM]

How about reminding people before you start that the speech is being taped so to please turn off cellphones and to take crying babies out. But tell them that if they have to leave because of a crying baby or child, to email Peace Hill and you will make sure they get the taped speech provided for free when it is digitized and ready to send. That way they won't be feeling like they are going to miss the speech of their lives!

 

Good suggestion!

 

To answer the question, as a parent who has and does make great effort to keep my infants and elementary school children to keep from disrupting public presentations, would LOVE it if you did something, anything!

 

A dozen years ago when we started hs-ing, it just seemed like common courtesy to remove your crying/disruptive child. It's a responsibility of parenting. As the years have gone by, I've noticed a remarkable decrease in this courtesy. It's like there's an attitude that the status of homeschooler negates common courtesy! Personally I see it as making an idol

of one's family, but that's not the question.

 

SWB, I understand why it's a problem to ask someone to

leave midstream. A before hand reminder would be great. And if it still happens, maybe you could just stop talking for a minute and let that crying baby be the only, obvious sound in the room? That way the parent might get a clue without your having to say something?

[mommaduck]

How about reminding people before you start that the speech is being taped so to please turn off cellphones and to take crying babies out. But tell them that if they have to leave because of a crying baby or child, to email Peace Hill and you will make sure they get the taped speech provided for free when it is digitized and ready to send. That way they won't be feeling like they are going to miss the speech of their lives!

 

I like this. Even though I believe that mothers should be able to bring their babies, it should also be common courtesy that you take a noisy child out.

[Susan Wise Bauer]

Just to clarify, I always ask, very clearly, at the beginning of the talk, for parents to take babies out if they start crying because they distract ME. This apparently isn't working.

 

Really like some of these suggestions. Keep them coming...

 

SWB

[Hedgehog]

1) You parents who come without babies: what do you wish would happen when a baby keeps crying? If the speaker stopped and threw them out, would your gratitude overwhelm your discomfort?

 

I don't think it would concern me unduly. If you're doing a talk, it's your back yard; if you don't like crying babies/hecklers/whatever, I think it's okay to ask them to leave. If I ever managed to get to a homeschool convention in America, I would prefer to be able to hear the talk.

 

2) You parents WITH babies: how would you hope that this would be handled, if you were the owner of the noisy infant?

 

We have always had our little ones in church with us. We have taught them to be quiet during the service, playing with quiet toys/looking at or reading Bible related books. If any of them acted up, we took them out straight away and dealt with them as appropriate. We feel it's rude to interrupt someone else's thoughts (and in the case of church, their worship of God).

Edited March 7, 2011 by Hedgehog

[*~Tina~*]

3) Would anyone who's attending Cincy like to volunteer to be a room-sitter and tap parents with noisy babies on the shoulder and ask them to leave? We come to these things with a skeleton crew, so I don't have anyone to do this--but I could probably get you a vendor badge.

 

SWB

 

How about reminding people before you start that the speech is being taped so to please turn off cellphones and to take crying babies out. But tell them that if they have to leave because of a crying baby or child, to email Peace Hill and you will make sure they get the taped speech provided for free when it is digitized and ready to send. That way they won't be feeling like they are going to miss the speech of their lives!

 

I'm not attending this year because I have a new baby, so I was reading these post and thinking. . .since I'll be one less person who needs shoulder tapping, maybe I can still get the workshop CD? :D

 

Seriously, I think as Moms we sometimes have a tendancy to "block out" or filter the noise our own children make and it sort of becomes a habit. I vote for the announcement at the beginning and maybe you could somehow squeeze it in twice to over emphasize the importance, since they might miss it the first time if their baby is crying :lol:

[amey311]

I'm surprised there aren't volunteers or similar for this. When I've attended La Leche League conferences (so you know there will be babies!) there's always an announcement at the beginning of each session reminding attendees of the policy about crying babies/loud toddlers. It's usually something like this:

 

(from LLL of Ireland conference information)

 

As is usual at all LLL functions, your children are welcome to accompany you to sessions, meals and all Conference areas. Ordinary baby sounds or gleeful toddler noises will not distract speakers or delegates. A crying baby, however, may be distracting for others and may be upsetting for the baby. You may have to miss part of the session, but listening to your child so that you can tend to his/her needs is the most important thing you can do.

 

That last bit is a great way of turning it back on the parent. It's a variation of "it sounds like your baby needs your one-on-one attention, let me show you where the rock and rest room is." A crying baby is distracting for everyone, and one crying baby can lead to multiple crying babies.

 

LLL conferences also generally have a policy of no noisy toys and often have session rooms set up so that there is a larger area in the back of the room without chairs, so mothers with toddlers can sit and entertain with QUIET toys (i spy bags, matchbox cars, crayons and paper, books, etc) on the floor or in a chair next to a child on the floor.

[abbeyej]

Just to clarify, I always ask, very clearly, at the beginning of the talk, for parents to take babies out if they start crying because they distract ME. This apparently isn't working.

 

Really like some of these suggestions. Keep them coming...

 

SWB

 

If that's the case, I don't think I'd be too terribly concerned about embarrassing a parent by stopping and saying, "Excuse me, but would you please remove your crying child?"

 

The break in "flow" is really unfortunate, but probably less so than on-going distraction. And perhaps you'll even develop a reputation such that this is less likely to happen in the future.

[Sebastian (a lady)]

I like the idea of offering people a comp copy of the seminar if they have to leave. Maybe PHP could have a stash of them at their booth. If the bouncer, I mean the room hostess had to ask someone to leave, they could give them a voucher to take to the booth to get a copy of the workshop. (Assuming that you have recordings of the seminars that you are giving at the upcoming conferences.)

 

I don't think anyone would be thrilled about being told that they are being a disruption. But sometimes our kids aren't as quiet as we wish they were. The good news is that they will mostly grow out of it. And someday those moms of giggly, squeeky, hungry and bored babies will want to be sitting in a workshop without the distraction of someone else's child a couple rows over.

[Mrs Mungo]

Just to clarify, I always ask, very clearly, at the beginning of the talk, for parents to take babies out if they start crying because they distract ME. This apparently isn't working.

 

 

Just thinking aloud here, but I think there is a subtly different message when you say "please take out crying babies because they are distracting," versus when you say "please remove crying babies, because we don't want the recording messed up." Maybe it's a psychological thing in our culture? But, when there is something monetary on the line, people seem to give it more credence. Does that make sense?

[just Jenny]

Would it work to reserve a section near the door(s)/towards the back for people with babies, and then ask them to sit in those sections so it will be easier for them to slip out if they need to do so?

 

Or perhaps to request that conference attendees save the aisle seats for moms with babies?

 

Perhaps people sometimes try to weigh what will be less disruptive: trying to quiet a baby quickly, or pushing a crying baby past a row full of conference attendees who all have to move to let the parent by?

Edited March 7, 2011 by just Jenny

[Sebastian (a lady)]

Just thinking aloud here, but I think there is a subtly different message when you say "please take out crying babies because they are distracting," versus when you say "please remove crying babies, because we don't want the recording messed up." Maybe it's a psychological thing in our culture? But, when there is something monetary on the line, people seem to give it more credence. Does that make sense?

 

Perhaps it serves as an appeal to authority. The authority being the cranky sound guy who is trying to record the lecture.

[LibraryLover]

Just thinking aloud here, but I think there is a subtly different message when you say "please take out crying babies because they are distracting," versus when you say "please remove crying babies, because we don't want the recording messed up." Maybe it's a psychological thing in our culture? But, when there is something monetary on the line, people seem to give it more credence. Does that make sense?

 

That's a good point. I also don't think anyone would really want it to be their own baby fussing so on the tape later.

[Poke Salad Annie]

I was at the Memphis convention. I have posted today about my thoughts regarding fussy babies/restless children. I truly wish there would have been some kind of room-sitter, but I see from your post that it was not provided, and that is truly a shame.

 

This was my first homeschool convention, and most likely will be my last. I had looked forward to the opportunity to listen to many speakers, especially you. The reality of it all was that I was better off only purchasing CD's of the lectures. I really wish I had not registered for the convention, and simply purchased the CD's at the end of each day. That would have been a much better situation.

 

To sit in a lecture hall with a crying infant or fussy child, and not have the light bulb moment to leave (while others try to listen over the din) is just not okay in my book. More than anything, it is flagrant disregard for the speaker who has offered his/her time and effort to prepare for and travel to the convention. It is also disrespectful of the attendees who have spent hard-earned money to travel to the conference. I was surprised to see adults, whom I know had been cautioned about this very thing, remain in the room with a fussy baby. I. could. not. believe. it.

 

I would pay to listen to you speak again under different circumstances. Personally, I don't understand how adults can ignore warnings and disregard others, especially the speaker. It just leaves me :confused:.

[AuntieM]

Just to clarify, I always ask, very clearly, at the beginning of the talk, for parents to take babies out if they start crying because they distract ME. This apparently isn't working.

 

Really like some of these suggestions. Keep them coming...

 

SWB

 

well, then, I agree with FairhManor. You need a bouncer!

 

ETA - I think the more this is displayed in print, the more it

might sink in. Can the conference organizers put it in multiple places, including the registration materials and conference program schedule? Post it on every door, in a succinct, "violators will be prosecuted" sort of way.

 

I haven't gone to a conference in years, but I do remember that after the last one I resolved to just order the tapes I wanted. I would be very careful about the circumstances under which you offer free CDs of the program, lest any entitlement minded mom thinks she should get one just for the asking.

Edited March 7, 2011 by AuntieM

[MotherMayI]

Well I blush as I say this as I think I may have been the one that you asked to leave...:tongue_smilie: you did ask that people with crying babies please leave...and since my 4 month old at the time was not crying (but she was "talking") I stayed- until- you asked me to leave. I was really embarrassed, and very disappointed because I had been waiting to see you for years. I also noticed that there were babies actually crying and their mothers did not leave. As for your question on how to handle it, I think you did what you needed to do in order to remain focused on your thoughts. I may have been a bit less embarrassed had you paused and asked the other mothers with noisy babies to leave as well. ( I guess I felt singled out when there were clearly other babies *crying*). Perhaps it would have been easier on my ego if someone had tapped me on the shoulder...at the time I really didn't think you were talking about babies that weren't crying, and I was prepared to exit had dd started crying- semantics I guess. I have held this secret for nearly 3 years because I didn't want any of our fellow boardies to connect the dots.:lol:

 

I hope that this post comes across as light-hearted as I have gotten over the trauma ;) and I *heart* you SWB!

[Sebastian (a lady)]

I wonder if you could make this point again to conference organizers. Especially since some of the workshops you are doing are being recorded so that you can make them available through your website. If you are making the announcement and still having trouble, then you need someone who can assist without it having to break up your flow.

 

I have marked up my schedule with what I want to see in person and what I will buy audios of. I would be right annoyed if I spend money on an audio of a workshop and then had trouble hearing or understanding the speaker because of the sounds of kids. It would not make me eager to return to that conference. (Especially as it will involve about 16 hours of solo driving to get there.)

[olan719]

I was one of the posters that was there this past weekend. SWB did politely, but firmly make her requests about cell phones and crying babies known at the beginning of each lecture.

 

Susan, I felt sorry for you having to endure the baby noise time and time again. I can't imagine how incredibly difficult and distracting it is to try to speak in that situation. The whole thing made me nervous....nervous for you, and nervous for the mom. But as uncomfortable as it makes me, I'd rather the baby be removed, so that I can relax and enjoy what I came for.

 

I really like the idea of having someone quietly ask the mom to remove the baby, rather than have to call her out publicly. I also liked the idea of making a CD available for moms that are unable to stay, but I know you probably aren't in charge of the money side of those recordings. I'm sure you don't want every mom with a baby leaving, and wanting you to foot the bill for a recording!

 

There is no easy solution to this problem because I saw for myself that people just flat out don't respect your requests. Personally, I can't imagine because I always removed my children at the slightest whimper. I hope you get some good advice on this thread, and can find a better solution.

[Guest Dulcimeramy]

I think the bouncer is the next step. These suggestions concerning the bouncer sound good to me:

 

1. A sign posted outside the room informing people that someone will escort them out if their baby/cell phone/whatever is distracting, and

 

2. An official looking badge for the bouncer.

 

The chocolate idea is good, but shouldn't be over the top. The bouncer could have a basket of Hershey bars near the door. If someone ambitious wanted to type and print labels or wrappers thanking the person for being understanding, that might be nice.

 

I think the sign and the stern-looking lady with a badge will be enough to make the typical hs mom tend her own fences rather than be embarrassed OR told what to do.

[Sebastian (a lady)]

I was planning to attend three of the the workshops in Cincinnati. If you don't mind splitting up hostess duties, I'd be happy to help.

[Tiberia]

If you don't have a room host, then perhaps at the beginning you can explain about cell phones and babies, like you do, but then ask for a volunteer or two to be polite, gracious, direct bouncers when the need arises.

 

This will alert everyone to the potential problem, and also put the job on someone other than you (who should be paying attention to your lecture, not room noise).

 

Or, at the book table, have a sign that says "Volunteers Needed!" Explain the job, and if someone thinks they can be supportive of you, direct, yet gracious to the offenders, give them the job.

[TN Mama]

I was planning to attend three of the the workshops in Cincinnati. If you don't mind splitting up hostess duties, I'd be happy to help.

 

:iagree: I'm not 100% sure of which workshops I'm attending, but I'd also be happy to help. Though I really dislike being confrontational. :tongue_smilie:

[Meriwether]

I think a "bouncer" would be a better idea than asking someone to leave from the podium. My sister and I went to our first convention last summer. We each had a baby with us and were in a room with several very noisy babies. After the talk, a fellow attendee who had sat at the front of the room approached us and asked if it was our first convention. We thought she was being friendly for the first couple of sentences, but she got pretty ugly with us and lectured us about noisy babies. :confused: My sister's baby had slept through that session and mine had made a couple of very soft coos. I would have been upset if I had been asked to leave when it was someone else's baby making all the noise. Someone moving about the room would have a better idea of where the noise was coming from.

[AuntieM]

:iagree: I'm not 100% sure of which workshops I'm attending, but I'd also be happy to help. Though I really dislike being confrontational. :tongue_smilie:

 

To the pre-workshop announcement you could add a statement like:

 

"Because this presentation is being recorded, a quality control volunteer is present in the room (point her out, have her wave). If, during the presentation, she taps you on the shoulder, it means your disruptive child is affecting the recording process. If your shoulder is tapped, you are expected to leave the room quietly and not return until your child is quietly settled."

 

Perhaps that would let them know you mean business, your bouncer is acting with your authority, and make the event less disruptive over all.

[Catherine]

As an aside, someone in my church used to let her toddlers run around the sanctuary, playing, laughing and talking during the service!! Ack!

 

I think having a designated person who gently (but firmly, if needed!) sends loud parties out is far preferable to making the speaker do it, for many reasons. But if you are already making an announcement beforehand, and it's not working, that would be the next step. It's just part of having little ones-I had many years of this before we finally got beyond that age and it's just part of the landscape for moms of babies, especially nursers.

[elegantlion]

To the pre-workshop announcement you could add a statement like:

 

"Because this presentation is being recorded, a quality control volunteer is present in the room (point her out, have her wave). If, during the presentation, she taps you on the shoulder, it means your disruptive child is affecting the recording process. If your shoulder is tapped, you are expected to leave the room quietly and not return until your child is quietly settled."

 

Perhaps that would let them know you mean business, your bouncer is acting with your authority, and make the event less disruptive over all.

 

I very much like this. Quality control volunteer is a great title.:D

[Lawana]

To the pre-workshop announcement you could add a statement like:

 

"Because this presentation is being recorded, a quality control volunteer is present in the room (point her out, have her wave). If, during the presentation, she taps you on the shoulder, it means your disruptive child is affecting the recording process. If your shoulder is tapped, you are expected to leave the room quietly and not return until your child is quietly settled."

 

Perhaps that would let them know you mean business, your bouncer is acting with your authority, and make the event less disruptive over all.

:iagree: I would be very grateful for a situation that would work for everyone. (Except, I guess, for the mom who thinks her darling couldn't possibly be bothering anyone.)

[Chris in VA]

I agree with the other "tap folks on the shoulder" posters, and on your current practice of reminding moms that a taping is underway. I agree it's impolite to let kids make too much noise. I also think some moms are so desperate to be "fed," if you will, that they may try a little too long to soothe their crying/fussing/otherwise loud baby.

 

Is there any way to set up some chairs, maybe 5 or 6, just outside the door, in the hallway or whatever is near, and put a baby monitor on a table there, and then put the other part on your podium--IOW, rig an el cheapo sound system so parents who must leave the room can still catch a little of the lecture? Sort of an on-the-fly cry area outside of the main room. You could mention it in a lighthearted way, telling folks beforehand that, if they feel the tap on the shoulder, it's kinda like being asked to leave the dance floor in a dance marathon! But not to worry, because you realize how hard it is, and have provided a little help with the baby monitor--sort of hold it up to explain why on earth you have a baby monitor on the podium! :D Visual aids and all that...

 

Of course, they won't be able to hear very well if their child is crying outside, too, but sometimes babies stop with a change of scenery, and, once out of the room, no one else will care. It would acknowledge their need to listen, while allowing them a little space to take care of their babies, and also honor those who may likewise need some feeding who didn't bring their babies or whose babies decided to cooperate.

[LoveBaby]

It's not just crying babies, either! A reminder of taking out happy babies would also be good.

 

As a mom who takes my babies everywhere, I try to be very mindful of their "noises" and remove them when they are getting loud. I also know that depending on the room - it is sometimes just as disturbing for me to get out and to the back as it is to try to shush them and keep them happy.

 

I think a room hostess, directing mom's with young ones to seats closest to an easily accessible exit would be very helpful as well as a reminder that it is being taped and noises are disctracting.

 

Also, if it is mentioned up front that the room hostess will help you exit the room if your baby should get too loud, might help avoid any uncomfortable confrontations.

[Melinda in VT]

It's not just crying babies, either! A reminder of taking out happy babies would also be good.

 

:iagree:

 

I have known (and parented) some very noisy happy babies. In fact, the happy ones are the hardest to quiet, because in their mind there isn't anything wrong.

[Poke Salad Annie]

To the pre-workshop announcement you could add a statement like:

 

"Because this presentation is being recorded, a quality control volunteer is present in the room (point her out, have her wave). If, during the presentation, she taps you on the shoulder, it means your disruptive child is affecting the recording process. If your shoulder is tapped, you are expected to leave the room quietly and not return until your child is quietly settled."

 

Perhaps that would let them know you mean business, your bouncer is acting with your authority, and make the event less disruptive over all.

 

This sounds perfect. The only problem I can see is a parent who refuses to leave the room, which would cause even more disruption.

[LoveBaby]

Is there any way to set up some chairs, maybe 5 or 6, just outside the door, in the hallway or whatever is near, and put a baby monitor on a table there, and then put the other part on your podium--IOW, rig an el cheapo sound system so parents who must leave the room can still catch a little of the lecture? Sort of an on-the-fly cry area outside of the main room. You could mention it in a lighthearted way, telling folks beforehand that, if they feel the tap on the shoulder, it's kinda like being asked to leave the dance floor in a dance marathon! But not to worry, because you realize how hard it is, and have provided a little help with the baby monitor--sort of hold it up to explain why on earth you have a baby monitor on the podium! :D Visual aids and all that....

 

:iagree:

 

We attend a very small church without childcare. To be able to still listen to the sermon and not be disturbing, my husband sets his cellphone on the podium and calls my cellphone. I put mine on "mute" so our pastor doesn't get to hear the ruckus that my son is causing and I put it on speakerphone so I can hear the sermon in the hallway. Granted, the sound quality isn't stunning, but at least I can get scriptures and the gist of what is going on.

[Dmmetler]

Is there a way to do a "virtual convention"? I was at a music education convention last summer, and they videotaped all of the presentations, which were then made available on a password-protected website to conference attendees. Since everyone knew this was being taped, there was real effort to keep noise down, and the virtual convention meant that if you had to miss a session or part of one for any reason, it's there.

 

The downside (says the person who was a speaker in the LAST breakout on the LAST day) is that some of us with less popular times ended up speaking to mostly empty rooms and a video recorder, while half the convention rushed to pack and catch their planes-because, after all, if you know you're going to be able to see it later, why bother to stick around.

 

I chose not to go to the Memphis convention, despite living here, because I couldn't see trying to find someone who would be willing to watch my 6 yr old for multiple days (and because I teach on Saturdays, and telling my college students that "No class this week, I'm going to a homeschool conference" probably wouldn't sit well with my university), but I would GLADLY pay the convention fees for a virtual convention!

[Carrie12345]

I had been planning to take my baby to Philly, and I was already semi-bummed about the juicy tidbits I'd miss when I took him out at the first sign of any sort of noise coming out of his mouth, lol. To me, it's a no-brainer!

 

Because this munchkin has turned out to be so high-needs, my plan has changed to leaving him home with dh and just taking my 12yo, and I'm pretty sure he won't cry ;). If you need a Philly bouncer, I'd be happy to volunteer.

[LND1218]

Why does any speaker need a bouncer?

 

At our convention, I have never seen an issue in person or heard one on a CD. There is seating in the back for moms with babies. And a comment is made before hand to remove a baby making any noises not just crying.

 

If that's not enough, the attendees will turn to the mom near them and saying something like your adorable little bundle of joy is distracting the speaker is there something I can do to help you? Most moms get the hint.

 

There are lot of convention attendees here. Why not help out?

It's the least we can do for speakers to who are coming to give to us. We should help them not just leave it to them to figure out a solution. If you have ever been to the theater there are lots of people willing to shush. I think we should be as courteous esp to those speakers we like and want to here. It may be uncomfortable to be the shusher, but it's helpful. If there is someone near you with a crying baby, just bring it to their attention. If they won't leave, well that could be an issue, but at least you tried.

Edited March 7, 2011 by Steph