Anyone else have an Aspie like this?

[Misty]

My 7yr old daughter was diagnosed with Asperger's, ADHD, & severe OCD when she was five years old. She has always been a VERY high-needs, disruptive, hyperactive, impossible-to-deal-with child. But I was wondering if anyone else deals with what I deal with. Her brain seems to be in a constant mode of hyper-creativity and hyper-impulsiveness. She is constantly getting into everything, making messes, doing random impulsive things that are just unbelievable.. I'm left standing there thinking "Did she really just do that?" She constantly does things she has been told over and over again not to do.. She screams non-stop when things don't go her way. Her body is constantly moving, flailing, jumping, spinning, standing on her head, bumping into things. She doesn't walk. She spins, bounces, runs, or sideways-skips to her destination. She is extremely aggressive at times. She talks non-stop whether anyone is listening or not (in a very loud voice). She gets into things like she is a 3yr old.. She makes things constantly out of my craft cabinet, but she makes unbelievable messes that are almost shocking. Actually, she does this throughout the house with a variety of things (pet food, people food, toothpaste, water, dirt from outside, etc.)

 

When she was diagnosed, the psychologist told me she has a rare type of ADHD where her brain makes constant associations with things she sees and hears and takes off with random bursts of creativity because of it (does that make sense?). My 13yr old daughter is creatively gifted and she did similar things when she was this age, but she was not out of control like her sister is. She was not hyperactive and oppositional.

 

So the problem here is.. I am the most uncreative person I know.. So I am constantly challenged with keeping my 7yr old plugged in to creative outlets. Plus I am constantly cleaning up after her (she is asked to help clean up at times, but other times I just can't listen to her scream) so I no longer have energy or time to look for creative outlets or come up with something to engage her. Her brain needs CONSTANT engagement or else she is getting into trouble. And I just can't do that for her. What can I do?:confused: Do you think this could be sensory-seeking behavior more than anything? She stopped going to OT when she was six. Should I get her started back?

 

Her IQ is average and she isn't particulary advanced in creativity.. She isn't making anything that makes you say "wow".. She just needs to be doing *something* constantly.. Her brain cannot be idle, even for a second, or else she is doing something she isn't supposed to do. I find myself allowing her to play Wii or watch tv more than she should just to keep her out of trouble and keep her from hurting and/or annoying her siblings (her siblings are miserable much of the time because of her, BTW).

 

She is in behavior therapy twice a week, which consists of neurofeedback, biofeedback, Interactive Metronome, and Makoto. In the past, she has done ABA therapy (for nearly a year). She is medicated for the OCD, but that's it. Any ideas?:confused:

[Nature]

My son was similar to what you describe when he was your daughter’s age. He went through sensory integration for two years which was helpful. We also did the GFCF diet which made a huge difference. We eliminated other foods too, but artificial food coloring seemed to be a huge catalyst to negative behaviors. It took about 9 months after we started the diet to see a major difference.

 

I read somewhere that many kids with special needs are emotionally 2/3 of their chronological age. So you daughter would be like a 5 ½ year old.

 

Does your daughter exercise? Daily intense exercise could help her.

 

One book that I really liked for dealing with behavior issues is: The Explosive Child by Ross Greene. His philosophy is that "children will do well if they can." He offers a lot of helpful techniques.

[ClassicMom]

Wow! This sounds exactly like my son! The medications have helped his aggressiveness towards siblings (most, not all) and a lot of the screaming. However, he is constantly moving and talking. I give him plenty of art and craft materials to keep him occupied. While this makes a ton of messes for me, it does seem to calm him some to have something for his hands to do. He makes a lot of the same things over and over again and will pitch fits if I throw them away.

 

He also tends to gravitate towards Legos but I think this is a boy thing? I don't know.

 

I look forward to good suggestions. :bigear:

[Rebecca VA]

n/m

Edited March 7, 2011 by Rebecca VA

[Misty]

We also did the GFCF diet which made a huge difference. We eliminated other foods too, but artificial food coloring seemed to be a huge catalyst to negative behaviors. It took about 9 months after we started the diet to see a major difference..

 

She has been GFCF and soy free for about a year now. She was doing fantastic for several months, but then when she was in public school, her teacher gave her two donuts. This was about a month ago and she hasn't been the same since. She is back to homeschooling now. She also has small bits of dairy from time to time. We were strict with it for about 9 months and then we started allowing salad dressing and occassional cheese. But we NEVER EVER NEVER allow gluten. I need to get her back to 100% GFCFSF because she was doing soooooooo well when she was 100% before.

 

Does your daughter exercise? Daily intense exercise could help her.

 

She plays outside on most days.. We are fortunate to live out in the country so we have cow pastures and such all around us. But there are days when she can't play outside. I definitely don't have her on an exercise program. I will think about that..

 

One book that I really liked for dealing with behavior issues is: The Explosive Child by Ross Greene. His philosophy is that "children will do well if they can." He offers a lot of helpful techniques.

 

I have read many, many parenting books over the years, but I have not read this one. I've seen it recommended many times so I think I'll make it a priority to read it!

 

Thanks for your input!

[Mission-Driven-Mom]

I agree with the exercise...my ds needs deep pressure type exercises, like jumping on cushions (or a tramp.), lifting light weights, dancing, jumping ramps with his scooter. Most of the time he just puts on fun music and bounces around the room but sometims we put on Just Dance for the wii or something like that.

 

We've noticed that if he doesn't get this out of his system that he is so much more "in your face" and it really annoys everyone...especially his 3 yo sister who he can be ocd about kissing.

 

My neice, 8yo, started sewing projects which she seems to benefit her. I do think finding some specific skills that she enjoys and can keep her physically and mentally busy is beneficial...of coarse, you may have to work on teaching her some skills or taking classes or something.

 

There is also the book, http://www.amazon.com/Out---Sync-Child-Has-Revised/dp/0399532714/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1299465109&sr=8-2 ...I have been wanting to get it...it has good ratings and probably has some good ideas.

 

About the messes...I can relate...my dd5 is a huge mess maker...it drives me crazy and quite frankly I feel like I can't keep up. She is a pile maker and is constantly taking bits and pieces of everything from everywhere and creating piles or bags or whatever with remnants from all over the house and toy bins. She breaks down/melts down when asked to clean it all up and re-sort it all. She rolls around, sometimes she'll start but then I find her in a somewhat of a zone displaying behavior as if she doesn't even know where to begin or continue. A friend of mine told me I need to walk her through the process and have here do it as I talk her through it. I suppose it could be what's needed...uh...just alot of work, patience, and time. So therefore, I suppose that is where we step in and try to teach them organization and responsability for the messes...maybe one mess at a time! :tongue_smilie:

[Misty]

A friend of mine told me I need to walk her through the process and have here do it as I talk her through it. I suppose it could be what's needed...uh...just alot of work, patience, and time. So therefore, I suppose that is where we step in and try to teach them organization and responsability for the messes...maybe one mess at a time! :tongue_smilie:

 

Ugh.. This is what I dread with her.. She is sooo high-needs as it is.. Constant tantrums over the smallest routine change or sensory overload or the wrong food being served.. I just can't stomach more tantrums in one day.. And it seems like she is unteachable at times.. Like she just isn't there when I'm trying to teach her or show her.

 

But I know this is what I need to do.. Teach her to clean up, no matter how many tantrums I have to endure.. One mess at a time.. She responds well to positive reinforcement (as all children do) and I try really hard to catch her being good. I think I'm going to give her her own craft table and teach her that she can have that table to do what she pleases so long as she keeps it clean. But as soon as it gets out of control, it's gone.. Does that sound like a good way to change her habits?

[AK_Mom4]

I think giving her a craft table and her own supplies is an awesome idea. But I would not take it away when it gets messy. Maybe the table can be your "teaching table" for teaching cleaning up? Multiple little lessons in how to put things neat again.

 

I know my son gets overwhelmed with messes and also has trouble generalizing. It took quite a long time and many step-by-step lessons to get him to be able to clean up his toys. Helping you put "her" craft table in order every few days might be just the ticket.

[specialmama]

I think giving her a craft table and her own supplies is an awesome idea. But I would not take it away when it gets messy. Maybe the table can be your "teaching table" for teaching cleaning up? Multiple little lessons in how to put things neat again.

 

I know my son gets overwhelmed with messes and also has trouble generalizing. It took quite a long time and many step-by-step lessons to get him to be able to clean up his toys. Helping you put "her" craft table in order every few days might be just the ticket.

 

:iagree:

I'd also invest in a large tupperware tray with a lid and fill it with a huge bag of Bubber. The purple is an OT recommendation to help with calming. I'd also get another tupperware tray and fill it with Delta Sand (this is NOT that lame MoonSand, it's the original and MUCH better.) The 2 items above are awesome at pulling out on the kitchen table and have her go at it when she needs to create. You can get moulds and playdough carving tools for added kick. You don't need to be creative and she has an unlimited number of things she can mould and remould with these awesome materials.

 

I'd get a few tins of colour-changing Thinking Putty, a yoga balance ball, and a a wiggle cushion for the chair. Do you have a small trampoline in your home? What about a weighted vest and/or a tight spandex "hug feeling" shirt worn for 20 minutes to help her sit and concentrate. My son is always running around and these tools help immensely.

[Misty]

I'd also invest in a large tupperware tray with a lid and fill it with a huge bag of Bubber. The purple is an OT recommendation to help with calming. I'd also get another tupperware tray and fill it with Delta Sand (this is NOT that lame MoonSand, it's the original and MUCH better.)

 

This sort of thing she gets EVERYWHERE.. I don't know why.. She just gets too excited/impulsive.. I used to have a big bin of dry beans with funnels, spoons, bowls, etc... Every time I pulled them out for her, the beans ended up EVERYWHERE.. She does the same with Moon sand, etc..

 

I'd get a few tins of colour-changing Thinking Putty, a yoga balance ball, and a a wiggle cushion for the chair. Do you have a small trampoline in your home? What about a weighted vest and/or a tight spandex "hug feeling" shirt worn for 20 minutes to help her sit and concentrate. My son is always running around and these tools help immensely.

 

Does Thinking Putty ruin carpet? Because that is exactly where it will end up, LOL.. We did have a big yoga ball, but she took one of my sewing needles out of my sewing area and poked a hole through it.. We also used to have a mini tramp in our house, but she stood it up on end against the wall, climbed up to the top, and ended up in a cast for 6 weeks..:glare: I had to put the trampoline outside after that.

 

Now the weighted vest is something I have been looking into lately. I have instructions on how to modify a regular vest into a weighted vest.. I'm really thinking this would help her. But one thing concerns me.. She won't keep her clothes on while we're at home on most days.. What will make her keep a weighted vest on? Am I supposed to force her to keep it on? :001_huh:

[ink_junkie]

I have a friend whose son is just like your daughter. She had a therapist recommend getting the child involved with a musical intstrument. She went out and found a child sized guitar on craigslist and has had few regrets since. At that young of an age, organized lessons might be a mistake, so just let your child make thier own music. There is no right or wrong when it comes to creativity.

[teach3blessings]

If your dd will not keep a weighted vest on, maybe this would be another option. In an OT session, my daughter made a 'snake' to wear around her neck. They filled a sock with rice(about 3/4 full), sewed up the end, and decorated the toe end and the body to look like a snake. (felt, jewels, markers, etc.) She had a blast making it and would wear it during our school time.

I read in a previous post a recommendation for "The Out-of-Sync Child". This is a very good book, and I would also recommend "The Out-of-Sync Child Has Fun". It details lots of activities that are fun and help with sensory issues. We used these ideas alot when my dd was younger and were able to incorporate her siblings into the fun.

[Misty]

I have a friend whose son is just like your daughter. She had a therapist recommend getting the child involved with a musical intstrument. She went out and found a child sized guitar on craigslist and has had few regrets since. At that young of an age, organized lessons might be a mistake, so just let your child make thier own music. There is no right or wrong when it comes to creativity.

 

LOL.. We had a child-sized acoustic guitar and she broke that too.. LOL.. However, we do have MY guitar that I play and she does like to play on it sometimes too.. But I am so afraid she is going to break it!! My 4yr old son isn't even as destructive as she is!

 

We do have a piano and she loves to play it, but we have not had any lessons for a while (we do home lessons) so I think this is something I need to pick back up with her. It would definitely help with engaging her brain when she gets bored.. Thanks!!

[HeidiD]

My 7yr old daughter was diagnosed with Asperger's, ADHD, & severe OCD when she was five years old. She has always been a VERY high-needs, disruptive, hyperactive, impossible-to-deal-with child.

 

Oh YES, I can SO relate. :ack2: To the point that reading your post made me nervous (PTSD, maybe?!!! :)).

 

My dd is 14 now, and has improved enormously in the past 7 years. I think I've tried most of the books and suggestions offered by the other posters.

 

 

I find myself allowing her to play Wii or watch tv more than she should just to keep her out of trouble and keep her from hurting and/or annoying her siblings (her siblings are miserable much of the time because of her, BTW).

 

 

BTDT, and I don't regret it at all. In cases like these, it's sometimes the only way to survive!

 

She is medicated for the OCD, but that's it.

 

My daughter was medicated for the ADHD as well, because she was absolutely frenetic. A couple of years ago, her doctor decided to wean her off the ADHD med (Clonidine) and she is doing well without it - no sign of the manic behavior she displayed in her younger years.

 

The creative compulsion has actually developed into a calming outlet, I think. I got her involved in needlework, knitting and crocheting, and because of the OCD, she's put so much time into these areas that she's become highly skilled. I think she may end up in some sort of art/design career as a result.

 

HOWEVER, at 7 yo, this seemed so unlikely - we were just trying to survive the days. (Picture that cartoon character, the Tasmanian Devil, to get an idea of her frenetic, destructive, explosive behavior). :tongue_smilie:

 

I actually did take away her craft stuff as a disciplinary and training tactic, and for her, it was effective behavior modification.

 

Another thing that helped was giving her lots of books to read featuring female characters that provide good role models. She started modifying her own behavior over time after reading lots of these books.

 

I know it's impossibly hard, but hang in there - there's a light at the end of the tunnel. The very characteristics that bug you most at the moment might end up creating channels of opportunity for her in the future. Even hyperactivity can prove to be an advantage later in life (thought it's difficult to deal with in the here and now!:)).

 

Good luck!

[Misty]

If your dd will not keep a weighted vest on, maybe this would be another option. In an OT session, my daughter made a 'snake' to wear around her neck. They filled a sock with rice(about 3/4 full), sewed up the end, and decorated the toe end and the body to look like a snake. (felt, jewels, markers, etc.) She had a blast making it and would wear it during our school time.

 

Great idea!! I think I'll try that. Thanks!

[ktgrok]

I think she does need her own craft table, but DON"T make her clean it up. Let her keep it however she wants. Let her be as messy as she wants, but ONLY at her table. That way she gets her outlet, and you limit the mess to one area. As soon as you spy mess outside that area you instantly put her back at her table. Have wipes there for her to wipe her hands on before she leaves the table, every time she leaves the table. Have an apron or smock for her to wear, or a rain jacket or poncho or whatever, to protect clothes.

 

Also, I've seen the messy behavior with people with OCD. It's like if they start putting away the mess they will have to clean EVERYTHING, so being messy is their antidote.

[Misty]

Oh YES, I can SO relate. :ack2: To the point that reading your post made me nervous (PTSD, maybe?!!! :)).

 

Oh yeah.. I can feel the PTSD creeping up on me.. I'll be there at some point, LOL..

 

My dd is 14 now, and has improved enormously in the past 7 years. I think I've tried most of the books and suggestions offered by the other posters.

 

Oh, I can't wait for the day when I can say how my daughter "used to be like that".. It's so hard to enjoy her like this..

 

 

Another thing that helped was giving her lots of books to read featuring female characters that provide good role models. She started modifying her own behavior over time after reading lots of these books.

 

Another good idea! Thanks!

[Misty]

Also, I've seen the messy behavior with people with OCD. It's like if they start putting away the mess they will have to clean EVERYTHING, so being messy is their antidote.

 

This makes sense.. I do this so I know exactly what you mean.. Thanks!

[Mission-Driven-Mom]

I think she does need her own craft table, but DON"T make her clean it up. Let her keep it however she wants. Let her be as messy as she wants, but ONLY at her table. That way she gets her outlet, and you limit the mess to one area. As soon as you spy mess outside that area you instantly put her back at her table. Have wipes there for her to wipe her hands on before she leaves the table, every time she leaves the table. Have an apron or smock for her to wear, or a rain jacket or poncho or whatever, to protect clothes.

 

Also, I've seen the messy behavior with people with OCD. It's like if they start putting away the mess they will have to clean EVERYTHING, so being messy is their antidote.

 

This is a great idea....

 

In fact, instinctively my 3 that display add/adhd behaviors made their VERY OWN cubicle areas in our play/school area. Two of them behind an over-sized chair that is angled and nestled next to a couch so you can't see them at all. The other ds on the other side of the couch between the couch and cabinet...he uses a large 3-fold display board (science fair ones) to block off his area...and he uniquely has an i-pod and head phones stashed back there :). They call it their offices and if you look back there they have it all organized (in their terms of coarse) with milk crates (as their desk space), coffee cans (to hold supplies), their art books all lined up, dd has some tupperwares filled with random clothes and such (as mentioned previously) and a nice line-up of stuffed animals, etc. They have been spending time doing stuff back there and enjoy "their space"...my one ds even did extra homework, lol. Today there was some stuff that had creeped out in front of the chair so I told dd to clean it up and put some of the clothes away that she had brought back there...and surprisingly she did. Overall, as long as it doesn't get out of control then I am letting them use the space how they want to use it...but if it creeps into MY living space then they have work to do. Kind of like what was mentioned above...

 

SO I suppose the lesson here is that maybe there is something to be said about giving them their "OWN" creative outlets/space/zone and that it doesn't have to be anything extravagant....just theirs to do what they want, how they want.

 

Another idea that I do is I go to WalMart and buy a vinyl round table cloth...usually something seasonal or something clearance and use that as floor covering under their little work tables...easels..."offices"...if works really well!!!

Edited March 9, 2011 by Mission-Driven-Mom

[SweetMissMagnolia]

sounds alot like my 8yr old son...especially doing things that he's been told over and over NOT to do--and the screaming....we are trying behavior modification but mostly nothing is working for us in the way of discapline or him getting better at following the rules.......and i agree about waiting on the musical lessons--kiddo just got "asked to not come back" to music class because he was being disruptive.....can't say I didn't see it coming though....but yes I can definately relate.....:001_huh: