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My friends think what I am majoring in is strange?


LuvingLife
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I am going to be majoring in music, and possibly get my degree in music therapy, but all my friends are wondering why I picked music as my major. I told them why a million times but they don't seem to get it or "want" to get it. They say that I am way too smart to be wasting my life on music when I could become a doctor or scientist and get into Yale. All of my friends are trying to push me into that direction, and although I love music to death, I sometimes think about my choices.

 

I like school, I get very good grades, I am attentive, and I don't have any problems really with learning anything new. It may take awhile, but I eventually get it.

 

Although it will be my decision in the end, what would you do in this type of situation?

 

Add: My friends are very supportive, and they don't usually say much about my decisions, but there seems to be something about my career choice that makes them go crazy. And then there is my music teacher and God telling me to go for it, go to music school. :confused:

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I am going to be majoring in music, and possibly get my degree in music therapy, but all my friends are wondering why I picked music as my major. I told them why a million times but they don't seem to get it or "want" to get it. They say that I am way too smart to be wasting my life on music when I could become a doctor or scientist and get into Yale. All of my friends are trying to push me into that direction, and although I love music to death, I sometimes think about my choices.

 

I like school, I get very good grades, I am attentive, and I don't have any problems really with learning anything new. It may take awhile, but I eventually get it.

 

Although it will be my decision in the end, what would you do in this type of situation?

 

Add: My friends are very supportive, and they don't usually say much about my decisions, but there seems to be something about my career choice that makes them go crazy. And then there is my music teacher and God telling me to go for it, go to music school. :confused:

 

There are two things you could do: ignore and "pass the bean dip" as many others on this board say, or tell them straight out exactly how you feel.

 

I hate confronting people, but if my decisions are too much of an issue for my friends to handle, I tell them straight out it is none of their business whatsoever and I would prefer if we just didn't talk about it. Sometimes, my friends will realize what I am saying is true and they weren't being supportive, and other times they'll just continue on thinking they're right, but do so quietly. If your friends can't respect boundaries you set or things you are comfortable discussing, then it may not be worth the friendship.

 

It sounds harsh, but there have been a few people I've had to cut out of my life for decisions they didn't like and just wouldn't let go.

 

With a subject so important as your major (you'll be living that major in a few years in college so it will ultimately be unavoidable) it may just be better not to talk to those people anymore if they won't respect your decision.

 

I've done the same thing unknowingly a few times, and when a friend has pointed out how unsupportive or unhelpful my comments have been, it made me reevaluate what I was saying to them about their decision.

 

Also, being academically inclined should not decide your career. You are smart to pick a career you will enjoy instead of one that others think you should do.

 

"Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life."

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Guest Dulcimeramy

By what method have your friends assessed your intellectual capacity, school performance, and career potential?

 

Have you applied to Yale? If not, do you think you would be accepted?

 

If God has told you to become a musician, are you prepared to tell Him that you would except that all your friends think you should be a doctor or a scientist?

 

Resist flattery. Flattery of friends will neither get you through school nor comfort you when you fall on your face. Better to do something that you believe in and that you desire for yourself, and then you will be better able to get through the hard times that will come in striving for any goal.

 

Assess your strengths and weaknesses realistically, not hypothetically. Listen to wise advisers who are in a position to correctly evaluate your options (in this case, your music teacher). Above all, to thine own self be true.

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I am going to be majoring in music, and possibly get my degree in music therapy, but all my friends are wondering why I picked music as my major. I told them why a million times but they don't seem to get it or "want" to get it. They say that I am way too smart to be wasting my life on music when I could become a doctor or scientist and get into Yale. All of my friends are trying to push me into that direction, and although I love music to death, I sometimes think about my choices.

 

I like school, I get very good grades, I am attentive, and I don't have any problems really with learning anything new. It may take awhile, but I eventually get it.

 

Although it will be my decision in the end, what would you do in this type of situation?

 

Add: My friends are very supportive, and they don't usually say much about my decisions, but there seems to be something about my career choice that makes them go crazy. And then there is my music teacher and God telling me to go for it, go to music school. :confused:

 

How wonderful!!! I soooooo wish that I was musically inclined..... I appreciate it and love to listen to all kinds of music but don't ever ask me to try and play....... or worse yet, sing. Scary stuff!!! :lol:

 

Follow your heart!! I did.... I got a degree in Biology and love teaching my children and hope to teach others in a nonacademic way someday (Audobon Clubs/ Birding Groups/ Homeschool Groups/ etc.

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There are two things you could do: ignore and "pass the bean dip" as many others on this board say, or tell them straight out exactly how you feel.

 

I hate confronting people, but if my decisions are too much of an issue for my friends to handle, I tell them straight out it is none of their business whatsoever and I would prefer if we just didn't talk about it. Sometimes, my friends will realize what I am saying is true and they weren't being supportive, and other times they'll just continue on thinking they're right, but do so quietly. If your friends can't respect boundaries you set or things you are comfortable discussing, then it may not be worth the friendship.

 

It sounds harsh, but there have been a few people I've had to cut out of my life for decisions they didn't like and just wouldn't let go.

 

With a subject so important as your major (you'll be living that major in a few years in college so it will ultimately be unavoidable) it may just be better not to talk to those people anymore if they won't respect your decision.

 

I've done the same thing unknowingly a few times, and when a friend has pointed out how unsupportive or unhelpful my comments have been, it made me reevaluate what I was saying to them about their decision.

 

Also, being academically inclined should not decide your career. You are smart to pick a career you will enjoy instead of one that others think you should do.

 

"Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life."

 

You are right Stephanie, it is hard for me to confront people sometimes though. I love my friends, they are great to be around and we don't cause any trouble like a lot of other people we know do.

 

Thank you very much for your encouraging words, I really enjoy music, and although it can be difficult, I am ready!:) I like the quote too!!

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There are two things you could do: ignore and "pass the bean dip" as many others on this board say, or tell them straight out exactly how you feel.

 

I hate confronting people, but if my decisions are too much of an issue for my friends to handle, I tell them straight out it is none of their business whatsoever and I would prefer if we just didn't talk about it. Sometimes, my friends will realize what I am saying is true and they weren't being supportive, and other times they'll just continue on thinking they're right, but do so quietly. If your friends can't respect boundaries you set or things you are comfortable discussing, then it may not be worth the friendship.

 

It sounds harsh, but there have been a few people I've had to cut out of my life for decisions they didn't like and just wouldn't let go.

 

With a subject so important as your major (you'll be living that major in a few years in college so it will ultimately be unavoidable) it may just be better not to talk to those people anymore if they won't respect your decision.

 

I've done the same thing unknowingly a few times, and when a friend has pointed out how unsupportive or unhelpful my comments have been, it made me reevaluate what I was saying to them about their decision.

 

Also, being academically inclined should not decide your career. You are smart to pick a career you will enjoy instead of one that others think you should do.

 

"Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life."

 

By what method have your friends assessed your intellectual capacity, school performance, and career potential?

 

Have you applied to Yale? If not, do you think you would be accepted?

 

If God has told you to become a musician, are you prepared to tell Him that you would except that all your friends think you should be a doctor or a scientist?

 

Resist flattery. Flattery of friends will neither get you through school nor comfort you when you fall on your face. Better to do something that you believe in and that you desire for yourself, and then you will be better able to get through the hard times that will come in striving for any goal.

 

Assess your strengths and weaknesses realistically, not hypothetically. Listen to wise advisers who are in a position to correctly evaluate your options (in this case, your music teacher). Above all, to thine own self be true.

 

I do think I would get into Yale if I applied, I am very smart academically, and that is why my friends said I should become a doctor. But I don't know if I would be able to pay for it financially unless I could get a full ride. It's also not something I want either, I like the medical field, but I never had a passion for it like I have for music. They are like "you can do so much better" but I feel that this is the better, it's just hard to tell them. My music teacher says if I continue to practice, I shouls have no trouble getting into a good music program. This is tough!! :001_huh: Thank you for your help!

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How wonderful!!! I soooooo wish that I was musically inclined..... I appreciate it and love to listen to all kinds of music but don't ever ask me to try and play....... or worse yet, sing. Scary stuff!!! :lol:

 

Follow your heart!! I did.... I got a degree in Biology and love teaching my children and hope to teach others in a nonacademic way someday (Audobon Clubs/ Birding Groups/ Homeschool Groups/ etc.

 

Thank you!! And right now, my heart is screaming MUSIC!! :001_huh: I am glad that you also enjoy your career!

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Hey sweetie -

 

You sound a little bit like me, about - um - well, a bunch of years ago.

 

I was also a pretty smart, academically talented high school student. I had dreams of being a doctor (and got into Yale - I think they needed bassoonists that year!!!) but ditched it b/c I didn't want so much schooling.

 

Instead, I got a full ride music scholarship and studied music ed (with some dabbling in music therapy).

 

What would I do in your situation?

 

Smile. Say, "Thanks for caring, but this is not open for discussion."

 

Then - "What do you think are the chances of the Red Sox getting the pennant this year?" ;)

 

You cannot be who you are not. And your friends - well meaning though they may be - don't have to live with your choice for the rest of their lives.

 

You do.

 

Hangeth thou in there.

:grouphug:

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I am going to be majoring in music, and possibly get my degree in music therapy, but all my friends are wondering why I picked music as my major. I told them why a million times but they don't seem to get it or "want" to get it. They say that I am way too smart to be wasting my life on music when I could become a doctor or scientist and get into Yale. All of my friends are trying to push me into that direction, and although I love music to death, I sometimes think about my choices.

 

I like school, I get very good grades, I am attentive, and I don't have any problems really with learning anything new. It may take awhile, but I eventually get it.

 

Although it will be my decision in the end, what would you do in this type of situation?

 

Add: My friends are very supportive, and they don't usually say much about my decisions, but there seems to be something about my career choice that makes them go crazy. And then there is my music teacher and God telling me to go for it, go to music school. :confused:

 

What we advised ds, who wants to major in music, was to go to a school that had a good music department and good academics and double-major. It's tough, but doable. That way, if he can't support his family with music, he will have another degree with which to pursue a career and music can be something he contributes to the church community and something he does for fun.

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Go to music school. Don't spend the rest of your life wondering 'What if I had done music school?'

 

But I would minor in something marketable that you don't mind too much and could also see yourself doing. One family member double majored in music and accounting, one minored in music and majored in agricultural management, something like that.

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Her passion is dance and when she told everyone she wanted to major in dance they thought she could and should do better. I was as supporting as I could be but not as much as I should have been. I was worried. She was doing a major that may not help much when it comes time to put meat on the table but this was her passion so I told her to go for it. It's much more important for you to do something you know you love than something that is okay and is more what others want. Your major will follow you for awhile and you're more likely to do well with something you like. Although the others think it's a bad choice you'll be happy while they'll probably end up stuck doing something they thought they'd like and paid money to learn but in the end it was for nothing. You can do like PP suggested and I required of my Dd. Double major. That way if you can't find a full time job for support you'll having something else to help fill the void. People laugh all the time when I tell them that Dd is a Dance and Japanese major. They just don't go together but they are her passion and one will be able to support her if the other can't or like most dancers she has to stop because of an injury. Go with what you love, it will take you to a better place and serve you longer.

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Here's some stats on Yale admission:

 

SAT (25-75th Percentile)

 

Total: 2080-2370

Critical Reading: 700-790

Math: 690-790

Writing: 690-790

 

% Submitting SAT: 96%

 

I'm not sure why friends would discourage you from something you want to do. I'd definitely be passing the bean dip as has been suggested. There are schools with great music therapy programs which have great academic courses. You won't be taking only music courses and can double major as has been suggested.

 

I'd suggest talking with local colleges which have music therapy programs and asking them if they could recommend any ways to shadow someone doing this work. You can also contact local hospitals, rehabs, nursing homes, etc. and speak with their music therapist to ask if you would be able to spend a day or two with them. That's the best way to see if it's what you'd like to do. If it is, then go for it. :) I think it's a great field and with the aging population, should have good job prospects in the future as well, but I'd check on that. :)

 

ETA: Looks good. http://www.brighthub.com/office/career-planning/articles/94112.aspx

Edited by Teachin'Mine
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Hey sweetie -

 

You sound a little bit like me, about - um - well, a bunch of years ago.

 

I was also a pretty smart, academically talented high school student. I had dreams of being a doctor (and got into Yale - I think they needed bassoonists that year!!!) but ditched it b/c I didn't want so much schooling.

 

Instead, I got a full ride music scholarship and studied music ed (with some dabbling in music therapy).

 

What would I do in your situation?

 

Smile. Say, "Thanks for caring, but this is not open for discussion."

 

Then - "What do you think are the chances of the Red Sox getting the pennant this year?" ;)

 

You cannot be who you are not. And your friends - well meaning though they may be - don't have to live with your choice for the rest of their lives.

 

You do.

 

Hangeth thou in there.

:grouphug:

 

This is such great advice, thank you so much, I am glad that I know some people who have been in the same situation I am in right now. I will go to music school, and thank you!!

 

Here's some stats on Yale admission:

 

SAT (25-75th Percentile)

 

Total: 2080-2370

Critical Reading: 700-790

Math: 690-790

Writing: 690-790

 

% Submitting SAT: 96%

 

I'm not sure why friends would discourage you from something you want to do. I'd definitely be passing the bean dip as has been suggested. There are schools with great music therapy programs which have great academic courses. You won't be taking only music courses and can double major as has been suggested.

 

I'd suggest talking with local colleges which have music therapy programs and asking them if they could recommend any ways to shadow someone doing this work. You can also contact local hospitals' date=' rehabs, nursing homes, etc. and speak with their music therapist to ask if you would be able to spend a day or two with them. That's the best way to see if it's what you'd like to do. If it is, then go for it. :) I think it's a great field and with the aging population, should have good job prospects in the future as well, but I'd check on that. :)

 

ETA: Looks good. http://www.brighthub.com/office/career-planning/articles/94112.aspx[/quote']

 

Thank you so much for the link, it has definitely lifted my spirits!! I know that this is the field for me, but then the world tries to come in and conform you to the "normal" society of today. And thanks for the Yale info as well, I am getting somewhere with the SAT, but I don't really want Yale.

 

Thank you all for the advice and help!!!!!!!!! I really appreciate it and I am feeling so much better now. I love writing posts on here, I get such good advice from all of you!!:)

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Here's some stats on Yale admission:

 

SAT (25-75th Percentile)

 

Total: 2080-2370

Critical Reading: 700-790

Math: 690-790

Writing: 690-790

 

% Submitting SAT: 96%

 

 

 

And to add to this' date=' the Yale Regular Admission rate was 5.8%. With these numbers, I think it is the rare individual that can count on acceptance to Yale. There is no harm in aiming high if you have other applications in to more likely colleges.

 

Regards,

Kareni

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Now, in my crueler, more competitive, not so enlightened younger years when besmirches were made about music majors, "not smart enough to major in anything else" (unfortunately nearly always from a very driven business student), my standard retort was, "Well, business majors are those not talented enough to do anything else!" Don't flame me....as I said, I was in a highly competitive department, survival of the fittest so to speak, and not nearly as mature or wise as I am now! LOL GRIN - notice that I am touchy about the disparaging of music majors! No offense to you business major moms. Your plenty talented. I was just a rather defensive pianist as a college freshman trying not to be eaten alive in a dog eat dog department.

 

Ignore it, really. There just isn't time in your life to deal with narrow minded people. True friends shouldn't be saying that stuff any way. True friends would be supportive. So, maybe you should limit your time with these neanderthals and then when they ask why you don't want to hang out, you can mention that you weren't real impressed with their lack of manners and support.

 

I know that sounds tough, but this is from the perspective of someone who majored in piano performance. I have BTDT and can tell you that your time is much better spent with those behind you not standing in your way. Music therapy is a marketable degree....children's hospitals are usually looking. Michigan State University dismantled their department and now children's hospital can't fill their position. So, you should be able to find meaningful employment and you could always double major in something music ed which makes you extra lucrative to schools. The music therapy puts you in a position to teach in the ISD and the mainstream classrooms.

 

I used to get $40.00 an hour for teaching music to special needs children in my home.

 

Faith

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As long as you don't carry any college debt and are aware of your potential for income, go for it. :-)

 

Most young people will have 3 or more full CAREERS in their lives. If it doesn't satisfy you in the long run, you can do something else.

 

As for nay-sayers...well, if you like it, you like it.

 

(BTW, I become a novelist, much to many people's horror. This month, I'm launching a comic strip on parenting with an Eisner-Award-winning friend. :-D )

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Thank you all so much for your help! I told my friends what I thought, and half are still my friends and appreciated that I told them what was bothereing me. The others, well they are gone!:tongue_smilie:

 

At least I know who my true friends are now! Thanks for helping me tell them how I felt!;)

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