Night Elf Posted March 6, 2011 Share Posted March 6, 2011 I agree. When I read the title, I was thinking big bushy down to the middle of his chest kind of beard. This was my father's appearance at my wedding. I always thought his beard was funny. It looked really funny on top of his nice suit. I have an awesome picture of my dad on that day. It was typical Dad and I can't imagine having pictures of him not looking like himself. But I'm not like the bride in this thread. I didn't care one iota. This post just made me remember it. My dad died within the first year I was married to my ex-husband, so the picture is just extra special. I just thank God that my ex-husband wasn't in that picture!! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted March 6, 2011 Share Posted March 6, 2011 I love my daughter; why wouldn't I want to make her happy in such a small way, on what some women consider the happiest day of their lives (me included)? Hmm.. what kind of mom does that make me? I love my daughter but I would be beyond hurt if she wanted to change my entire look. I'd be embarrassed and humiliated to not change it and I'd be hurt and humiliated if I did change it. Either way, that would likely be a very unhappy day for me. Obviously it wouldn't be MY day but it is MY self-identity. I imagine our relationship would change. I'd always be self-conscious around her and wouldn't feel accepted into her future life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aggie Posted March 6, 2011 Share Posted March 6, 2011 Well, the update is that she is hinting away about doing it SOON so he won't show up there with "a big white spot where your beard was". And he's thinking of doing it. As much as he's made a deal about refusing it, I think some part of him is really happy she gives enough of a hoot to be calling him about it. At this very moment he's hunting for a special birthday present to send with the check for the dress.:tongue_smilie: Takes all kinds to make the world go round, as my dear departed mother used to say. I've not had a strong opinion either way. Until this. This crosses the line for me, for some reason. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oops, duplicate account :/ Posted March 6, 2011 Share Posted March 6, 2011 Hmm.. what kind of mom does that make me? I love my daughter but I would be beyond hurt if she wanted to change my entire look. I'd be embarrassed and humiliated to not change it and I'd be hurt and humiliated if I did change it. Either way, that would likely be a very unhappy day for me. Obviously it wouldn't be MY day but it is MY self-identity. I imagine our relationship would change. I'd always be self-conscious around her and wouldn't feel accepted into her future life. You know, I can very much see why there could be hurt feelings. OTOH, I think I would just chalk it up to having an immature, selfish daughter and know that she'll grow up someday, hopefully, and just make it happen for her. But that's just me, and I wouldn't judge anyone else otherwise. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted March 6, 2011 Author Share Posted March 6, 2011 This crosses the line for me, for some reason. Yeah, me too. I am officially stepping out of the negotiations. :001_smile: Interesting how people take this.One of the nice parts about this board is getting *honest* feelings about things. Sometimes there is a little ruffling, but a lot less than if I said these kinds of things to my neighbors, IYKWIM. My favorite line was how a goatee looks like a strip of p$bic hair down someone's face. It sort of does. I recall a surgeon, a beloved surgeon, who had one and chewed gum aggressively. I recall a comment on "watching a woman walk from below". He laughed it off, and said he had one so he didn't have to shave around his mouth. He was a traumatologist and often sprinted into the hospital to open up a gun shot wound in the wee hours of the night, shaving later in the men's room. Every beard has a story, I guess. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haiku Posted March 6, 2011 Share Posted March 6, 2011 OTOH, I think I would just chalk it up to having an immature, selfish daughter Which is part of the reason I wouldn't do it. Indulging selfish people's selfishness just adds to their sense of "me-firstness." Tara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haiku Posted March 6, 2011 Share Posted March 6, 2011 Obviously it wouldn't be MY day but it is MY self-identity. Precisely. Well put. It basically comes down to this girl thinking that her preference for no facial hair is more important than her father's self-concept. Tara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Dulcimeramy Posted March 6, 2011 Share Posted March 6, 2011 Well, now that she's also calling for perfectly even complexions, I think we can say she's turned the corner. Off to Looney Land. It is smile-and-nod time for dear old Dad. Yes, dear. Anything for you, dear. (With no intention of submitting to her craziness, of course.) Is it too late for him to act as if he's going to do it so she'll drop the topic, and then the day of the wedding he can say you all thought she was joking? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kari C in SC Posted March 6, 2011 Share Posted March 6, 2011 Haven't read the replies, but I say she is being nuts! It is HIS FACE! If he is not over the top looking, then she needs to get over it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NanceXToo Posted March 6, 2011 Share Posted March 6, 2011 Daughter is out of line IMHO. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KristinaBreece Posted March 6, 2011 Share Posted March 6, 2011 Well, now that she's also calling for perfectly even complexions, I think we can say she's turned the corner. Off to Looney Land. It is smile-and-nod time for dear old Dad. Yes, dear. Anything for you, dear. (With no intention of submitting to her craziness, of course.) Is it too late for him to act as if he's going to do it so she'll drop the topic, and then the day of the wedding he can say you all thought she was joking? Love it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tex-mex Posted March 6, 2011 Share Posted March 6, 2011 Um. No. Asking an adult to change their hairstyle for wedding pictures is over the top, IMO. :iagree::iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jld Posted March 7, 2011 Share Posted March 7, 2011 Hmm.. what kind of mom does that make me? I love my daughter but I would be beyond hurt if she wanted to change my entire look. I'd be embarrassed and humiliated to not change it and I'd be hurt and humiliated if I did change it. Either way, that would likely be a very unhappy day for me. Obviously it wouldn't be MY day but it is MY self-identity. I imagine our relationship would change. I'd always be self-conscious around her and wouldn't feel accepted into her future life. Always? Really? It may be selfish and immature of the dd to make a request of her dad, or even a demand, that he feels uncomfortable with, but, once again, it's not illegal, immoral, or unhealthy, and no one is dying from it. Who is in a position to be the mature one here, the daughter . . . or the father? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Dulcimeramy Posted March 7, 2011 Share Posted March 7, 2011 A demonstration of maturity on the part of the father would be to decline input from his offspring about his grooming habits. It would be very immature of him to try to cater to her selfish whims by doing something he has no desire to do to his own body. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jld Posted March 7, 2011 Share Posted March 7, 2011 A demonstration of maturity on the part of the father would be to decline input from his offspring about his grooming habits. It would be very immature of him to try to cater to her selfish whims by doing something he has no desire to do to his own body. Maybe it would be . . . an act of love? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KristinaBreece Posted March 7, 2011 Share Posted March 7, 2011 Is the attachment your DH?! He looks soooo young to have marriage-aged daughters! And I like his facial hair. It really suits him! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missesd Posted March 7, 2011 Share Posted March 7, 2011 So I have seen this thread for days, and knew my basic reply would be that it was rude, and though it's her day she should love him just the way he is. But tonight I am feeling a little loopy from all the allergy meds, so I asked my 17 yr old... "what would you do if you daughter told you you had to shave off your goatee (he has one) to walk her down the aisle?".... His reply... "Hello no... This goatee helped make her, this goatee will help give her away." I just started :lol: .... sorry, had to share ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KristinaBreece Posted March 7, 2011 Share Posted March 7, 2011 So I have seen this thread for days, and knew my basic reply would be that it was rude, and though it's her day she should love him just the way he is. But tonight I am feeling a little loopy from all the allergy meds, so I asked my 17 yr old... "what would you do if you daughter told you you had to shave off your goatee (he has one) to walk her down the aisle?".... His reply... "Hello no... This goatee helped make her, this goatee will help give her away." I just started :lol: .... sorry, had to share ;) :lol::lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mejane Posted March 7, 2011 Share Posted March 7, 2011 "Hello no... This goatee helped make her, this goatee will help give her away." There it is! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardening momma Posted March 7, 2011 Share Posted March 7, 2011 Is the attachment your DH?! He looks soooo young to have marriage-aged daughters! And I like his facial hair. It really suits him! Did I miss a picture? I know someone else posted a pic of her dh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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