How often are neighbor kids at your house?

[FairProspects]

We are still having neighborhood kid issues. While it used to be asking my boys to play outside or just once in awhile/week, now one boy is knocking on the door all day everyday asking to come in and play. He is too young for K and is home all the time with a babysitter who I think just wants him out of her hair.

 

I finally told him today was family day and that he couldn't play here everyday. He argued with me and then started crying and left, which made me feel horrible, but quite honestly we sacrifice a lot for me to stay home, take care of, and school/play with my own kids, and he is not my responsibility.

 

How often are neighborhood kids in your house? Does it bother you? Am I the only one who doesn't want to watch, clean up after, and feed other people's kids for free all the time?

[GoVanGogh]

I actually just put my foot down recently and e-mailed a neighbor and told her that I was no longer doing *any* "play dates" Monday through Friday. Her idea of a "play date" is more like babysitting, in my opinion. When she e-mails me and tells me when she will be sending the child over and for how long he will be staying - Well, that is out of line. She is royally mad at me now and even 'gave me the bird' when I was outside the other day. But I no longer care. I am not the neighborhood babysitter.

 

In your situation, I would contact the parent and tell them. They are probably unaware that their babysitter is trying to push off her paid responsibilities. If she is willing to let the child ring your doorbell unsupervised, no telling what else she may be letting him do.

[Paintedlady]

There are neighbor kids here pretty much every day or close to it. But at my kids' ages, they are out and about the neighborhood a lot more and just as likely to end up at their friends' houses as well.

 

If it was only kids here all the time and my kids never went there, I'd go bonkers. I'm not crazy about the constant noise, mess, etc... but as long as the kids are being decent and their parents share in the fun :glare: of hosting, then I don't mind too much.

[prairiewindmomma]

Rarely. We don't do free daycare here either. Usually we invite whole families over when we want to socialize.

[fairytalemama]

When she e-mails me and tells me when she will be sending the child over and for how long he will be staying - Well, that is out of line. She is royally mad at me now and even 'gave me the bird' when I was outside the other day. But I no longer care. I am not the neighborhood babysitter.

 

Unbelievable! Good for you for putting down your foot!

 

Luckily, most of the parents in our neighborhood are very involved with what's going on with the kids because there aren't any fences. We only have one family that has always let their kids kind of run wild and now that they're older it isn't so much of a problem.

 

The one incident that sticks out in my mind is the younger daughter from the aforementioned family had her birthday party on the same day as my daughter one year. We were having a family only party, while they invited all the neighborhood kids. About midway through our party, she showed up at our house. No one from her party even realized she was missing! After about 20 minutes of her hanging out at our house, I finally walked her back home to her party. I probably should have done it right away, but I was kind of busy hosting my own party and kept thinking that someone is going to notice that the birthday girl is gone from her own party, right?

 

I took her back and apparently no one had even noticed she was gone. :confused:

[FairProspects]

I actually just put my foot down recently and e-mailed a neighbor and told her that I was no longer doing *any* "play dates" Monday through Friday. Her idea of a "play date" is more like babysitting, in my opinion. When she e-mails me and tells me when she will be sending the child over and for how long he will be staying - Well, that is out of line.

 

 

This is exactly what our neighbor does! He shows up at the door and says "I have to be home by 5pm (or whatever time she decides)." He never comes over and asks my kids to go back to their house (which honestly I don't know if they would do anyway because they never go to playdates by themselves, we generally socialize with families).

[KS_]

How often are neighborhood kids in your house? Does it bother you? Am I the only one who doesn't want to watch, clean up after, and feed other people's kids for free all the time?

 

The neighborhood kids are *never* in my house. I have a rule that they can play outside in the front yard, but I don't allow them to play inside, or in the back yard. If their parents are looking for them, I want the kids easily visible. I also don't allow my kids to play in the neighbors' houses or backyards - there's one family I feel fairly comfortable about, but I really don't know the rest of them well enough to let my kids play inside.

[Tarreymere]

I actually have a sign on my door that says 'No visiting, No Babysitting Monday through Friday 8 am to 4 pm due to homeschooling'. Saves time. If we want to go as a family and visit another family or have them visit us, it is done by invitation. But, my big problem isn't the neighborhood kids, it is my own grown kids and their tendency to drop by without calling with the intent of dropping off their own kids for me to babysit. Because I am at home with kids anyway, right?

[Tap]

Friends are here daily.

[LibraryLover]

We live semi-country, so no close neighbors the ages of my youngest, but we have friend(s) from ds' school, or a hs friend(s) over about 3 times a week. More frequently in summer. In our old house it was daily, unless I begged off.

[FaithManor]

4-H kids are here once per month. The rocketry team is here up to four times per month. Neighborhood kids - NOPE! We aren't fun enough. Our kids are not allowed absolutely limitless hours of computer, they don't own phones and therefore, cannot text, they don't have facebook accounts, we don't have a T.V. and only rarely watch a t.v. show on Netflix, we eat healthy food which unfortunately, many of them will not touch, we don't celebrate Halloween - the candy fest and higher crime in this area have turned us off to having anything to do with it - Easter baskets are not filled with mountains of candy, our don't attend public school, yada, yada...as three little boys have put it, "You people are REALLY WEIRD!"

 

But, the boys are like the Three Musketeers, all for one and one for all, so they haven't missed anything and between 4-H and rockets, they spend enough time with others. I'd go nuts if kids were always popping by...dh would go crazy because he works from home.

 

Now, our niece, nine years old, drops by or calls and asks to play quite often. But, that's really no big deal. She fits right in with the boys and they are VERY protective of her. Woe to the individual who ever touch a hair on her head....the boys will slay him with prejudice!

 

Faith

[laundrycrisis]

Does it bother you? Am I the only one who doesn't want to watch, clean up after, and feed other people's kids for free all the time?

 

Yes it does and no you are not the only one. I had a pretty bad time with one neighbor child for about four years. His parents and older sister were incredibly persistent in wanting DS1 to be the entertainment for their child whenever they felt like demanding it. They would get pushy and mean whenever I said no. It took several pretty assertive communications from me to get it to stop. A couple of these turned ugly. My DH was mad about me about this because he "doesn't want to have any problems with neighbors". These neighbors were completely taking advantage of us not wanting any unpleasantness and would push it to the edge every single time. I finally had to decide that I didn't care what he thought either...I am the one who is home, trying to teach the kids, and I already had a problem with the neighbors. It was a big blowup between us which I have no regrets about. Now things with these neighbors are civil but chilly, which is fine, and the boys still play but so far the daily harassment seems to have ended. I wish I had nipped things in the bud when our son was 3, and been quite rude about it if necessary, with no regard to who it p'd off. It would have saved me years of stress, anger, and being taken advantage of. Manipulative people who try to take advantage of you through your children fully deserve whatever you have to do to get it to stop. I would face-to-face with his parents and inform them that your kids are not available to play between the hours of x and x, and if it doesn't stop, face to face with their sitter too. And get a sign for your front door, hung at child level. The first time the kid shows up, point out the sign, tell him it means they cannot play any time it is up, and they will not be available until x o'clock today. If he comes back while the sign is up, do not answer the door.

 

I also had to screen my phone calls, and take the back way in and out of our neighborhood to avoid passing their house. The sad part is that I actually like their child, and our son enjoys the friendship. I am glad they still have some contact. But I could not live any longer being stalked by their kid, expected to provide entertainment and food and drinks, sometimes all day long, getting phone calls while we were out demanding to know when we would be home, and trying to lay guilt trips on me over their child's "disappointment". Yeah right. It was completely beyond reasonable. Don't let your situation become what ours did. Do whatever you need to do to extinguish it ASAP.

Edited March 4, 2011 by laundrycrisis

[Guest CarolineUK]

We don't actually have many 'neighbourhood kids', they're all oldies near us, and we're pretty much set away from most of the neighbours anyway. We have over the years had numerous play dates with friends of my eldest two, but it's not something I care to do much anymore, especially with all the work of homeschooling. I definitely don't do playdates when there's no reciprocity - I have been known to cool such friendships very rapidly when I feel I'm being used. Like you I've also felt pretty bad about it, especially if I feel the children are getting a raw deal, but not as bad as I'd feel about being used.

[QuirkyKapers]

Prior to last summer, we had neighborhood kids here a lot. Like every day. Than, things started happening, kids squabbling amongst themselves, kids feeling like they could just walk in our house. I put my foot down. No kids in the house. Squabbling, which I am not just talking verbal disagreements, I am talking I am going to fight you...., swearing and name calling, play time ends. I am not the neighborhood mediator. Problem? Go home to mom. I had a sister hit the other and was hiding and crying in my garage. I was sympathetic, but told her, you need to go tell your mother. I learned the hard way, parents of the kids who were coming over don't want you to discipline their kids. period. Let the kids work everything out themselves.....This coming from parents whose kids would be here 3-4 hours without anyone ever checking up on them. I also realized that if a child would punch another child, well, guess who would be liable?

 

I know I sound mean, but I reached my limit....Sounds like you have too :D I am not sure what this summer will hold, but I can tell you I already told my children, no friend in the neighborhood over here until after 5:00. This puts a reasonable time limit on the play....Oh- sorry kids have to come in, its time for dinner! Oh kids, dad's home....time to come in :)

 

I think it is great that you told the child, sorry it is family day...Nothing wrong there. You could try talking to the parents, but they may do nothing so make sure you have a back up plan!

 

Ok i am off my rant now and need to go :chillpill: This topic makes my blood boil.....

[Matryoshka]

There aren't any neighborhood kids here, and you're making me feel very happy about that!

[Jean in Newcastle]

Neighborhood kids might be over everyday or almost every day, including the weekends. Having said that, it is always after school and I decide (as do the other parents) when it is convenient for them to come in (or to play in the yard).

[KrissiK]

I do not allow neighbor kids in my house, and I do not allow my children in their houses. It's kind of an unwritten rule around here... another family feels the same way, so on nice days, there's like 15 kids out playing in the street, but they don't go in houses.

[kdeno]

I wish they could come over more.

[LibraryLover]

I have a cute story about an older child who was invited to stay for dinner on a night I was grilling. I served him a hamburger (grass-fed, local OK? LOL) I seasoned it, and put some fresh mozzerella in the center. Served on a whole grain bun...the whole deal. He took a bit...his eyes got huge. He said "What is that? It's the most delicious hamburger I've ever had!". I told him, and he said "How did you do that?" :lol:

 

We love turning people on to new and yummy. :)

[Barb_]

...He is too young for K and is home all the time with a babysitter who I think just wants him out of her hair.

 

Are you acquainted with the parents? They really should be made aware of the situation. They are paying a babysitter to sit around and text or watch TV or whatever while she sends their son to your house. If it were me, I'd want to know. Besides, if he's too young for K then he's what, 4 or 5? He's bored and lonely and really doesn't understand why you shooed him away. I'd let his parents handle it.

 

Barb

[Renee in NC]

Recently? Every day. Matter of fact, they are sitting on my couch right now eating lasagna and watching MegaMind. It's my 10yo's birthday. Besides that, we are leaving next weekend and with us goes the only view of normal family life these kids will have. I wish we could take them with us, as crazy as they make me sometimes.:crying: