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Question about verbal/cognative skills development

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I'm wondering if this is something that I need to address with my DD's doctor or if this is still within the normal range for her age.


Boo will be 7 in April. She is a ps student and attended a daycare center when she was younger.


My issue is that many times she is not able to verbalize thoughts, especially when they involve her emotions or personal feelings/opinions.


Some examples:


When asked questions like: what was her favorite part of a special day, or her favorite food, or what she wants to be when she grows up- almost always gets the response "I don't know"


Today I asked her about going to Girl Scout residential summer camp and she keeps saying "I don't wanna go" but cannot give me a single reason why she doesn't want to go. (She been toi a weekend GS camp before so it's not a fear of the unknown) She's also said the same thing about another fun day camp for dancing (which she loves). She knows and understands that I work, and she is looking forward to two weeks out of state with my parents and sister's family - a trip she has done the last three years, so it's not a separation anxiety thing - she is usually very independent.


She can answer concrete questions, but questions that require more than a rote answer is very hard for her.


I know it's not good to compare her to her peers - but emotionally she acts more like a 3 year old and still has meltdowns and is very hard to reason with once she gets something in her head. I find the other girls in our girl scout troop to have much more maturity in general when it comes to expressing themselves.


Oddly, don't know if this is relevant, but she's never been able to name her dolls or toys, even when I give her suggestions. She's also not one for independent pretend play.


I'm not sure if this is an emotional issue, communication issue, a verbal issue, cognitive issue or just a maturity issue. But something's got to give, it's not like we're asking her to give a monologue or dissertation just a simple answer. It's starting to effect her ability to finish her homework in writing stories and stuff about herself.


Other wise she's a normally well-behaving child - ornery, but not to the point of hurting herself or others.


Any advice would be greatly appreciated, even it's it's just "she's normal don't worry"

Edited by piraterose
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What you describe is how I was as a child. I don't know if it's normal, but I mostly outgrew it. I still struggle at times when I'm very emotional, but at least I can recognize it and work through it. What my mom did was coach me to verbalize what I was feeling or thinking when I got stuck. She would ask questions, like, "Are you mad? Sad? Angry? Upset? Disappointed? Afraid? Nervous? Excited?" etc. Then she would help me find the words to say how I felt. She was very patient with me. Over time I got better at expressing myself. As I said earlier, I have no idea if this is normal and should be brought to the attention f her Dr. I don't think it would hurt to ask about it.

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This could have been me discussing my son 12 years ago. i didn't think it was a learning disability, he just needed coaching on how to express himself.

My tips

On the favorite thing- he was very literal and honest-I did better if I said name some things you enjoyed, rather than pick out his favorite


Describing why he doesn't want to do things(or other problem) I tried and make it as stress free as possible. He shut down if he felt he had to answer many questions. Instead maybe just talkingabout the experience (the camp or whatever) as a whole. Than after talking about it she might know what is bothering her.


My Classical learning plug. I believe that classical learning is one of the best methods to teach someone how to communicate. Classical education is rich in language. It teaches how to think and communicate. Following THE Well Trained Mind (even loosely) was I believe what gave my son the ability to express his thoughts and ideas,

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I think it's hard for some kids to say things like "I'm apprehesive about attending summer camp. I might miss you or feel left out." Those are emotions a lot of older people can't express. I think modeling that kind of thing is helpful for some kids. "It's normal to be nervous about trying new things? Are you a little worried about meeting new people or being away from home?" Or "My favorite part was when we were laughing togetther about chapter 3. That was so silly." or "Do you remember when we had mashed potatoes for supper? I really like mashed potatoes.' She may need a little reminder about some things. It's ok to try and trigger the memories.


Of course, if you think there's a disconnect, you may be right. Some kids need more help than others with this sort of thing. It might well be nothing is wrong. Or it might mean something...I wish I could play a Dr on TV...or be one. :) It's ok to ask someone you trust, your Dr., fi, about your concerns.

Edited by LibraryLover
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