RanchGirl Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 We had to fire our chosen guardian. That was fun... :glare: We need to do this... how did it go? I was thinking of writing a letter to be opened along with the will, though I know it's cowardly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Belacqua Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 We need to do this... how did it go? I was thinking of writing a letter to be opened along with the will, though I know it's cowardly. Actually, it wasn't as bad as I'd feared. We were able to come up with several valid (though by no means the primary) reasons for the switch; new choice had more room now some of their children were grown, they were geographically closer, the mom was a SAHM, etc. This allowed for face-saving, even though it was pretty obvious that the real reason was You People Are CRAZY. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nd293 Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 I don't think about this, because it seems impossible for us. We don't have friends of that level of closeness, and anyway, friends that we do have differ in religious background. My mother is the only parent who could step up, and she is 65yrs old and lives in a different country from us. I have two cousins who might be possiblities, one is a single teacher living in a different country, and the other lives in the same country as us, and has two similar aged children. My sister has similarly aged children but lives in a different country. I would not like the children to leave the country we have migrated to. That's 4 possibilities, 4 separate countries (4 separate continents too, for that matter). The only one my children have any real relationship with is my Mom. The way it stands it would be a mess for my Mom and the immigration department to work out, I guess. I think I need to talk to my cousin who lives here... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kari C in SC Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 We have made this decision three times. At first, we chose my mom. The ask you to choose a back-up and we never really could decide on that. When our oldest turned 18, we changed it to him with my mom being our back-up. I was actually really happy that he was our younger kids guardian and it gave me great peace that if something ever happened - he was now old enough to care for them. Not because my mom couldn't. We love her and she is an excellent choice, but she is getting older. When our oldest son passed away, we were forced to redo a will. I HATED IT! We felt we needed to do it rather soon because my husband has crazy parents. Our son left us with some inheritance money. As awful as it sounds, we could see his parents trying to take our kids from my mom because of the inheritance. So... we put my mom back as primary and we named my niece and her husband as secondary. We thought we would struggle with the decision for a secondary again, but we really didn't. Since the first time many years ago, my niece had married a wonderful man and they have a 1 year old boy. We love her husband as our own family. He and our oldest son are very similar people. I have 3 grown nieces that we are very close to, but it came down to their husbands. Of the three, we loved one husband the best and felt the most secure leaving our children with him. I used to believe that we didn't need such things. I used to believe that bad things only happen to other people. Then my sister-in-law was killed. In the state of SC, if you do not have a will - your house is divided 50/50 between your spouse and your kids. My brother-in-law cannot sell his house without settling with his adult children first. Even then, I still didn't have a really great will - just something I drew up. Then my son died. It cost us $500, but we got something that tells me my children will be secure, my assets will go to them (and their guardian) and I have peace of mind for it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momofkhm Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 Would things such as whether they have any children currently, are married, age, financial security, parenting style, where they live, job security, political affiliation, discipline beliefs, religion, ability/desire to continue in hsing your kids matter to you? The people we initially named as guardians were friends of dh's from grad school. They have two dds on either side of our oldest. But as the kids got older, we drifted from them. It was an easy drift, we live 200 miles apart. We named new guardians in the last year or so. They are a couple we see every week for dinner so they know the kids and the kids know them. Without being guardians, they would invite our kids over for sleepovers - all three kids. Their kids are 16b and 13g, ours are 16g, 13g and 10b. It's actually more than knowing each other, they love my kids and my kids love them. Specific to your criteria - they are married, a couple years older than us, kids about the same age as ours. They are financially secure. He has a secure job (as secure as you can get in this economy). They homeschool their own children and would continue to homeschool ours. They do have similar beliefs as regarding politics and religion and discipline. Similar but not the same. I would be completely comfortable with them watching over my children. However, once my oldest turns 18, I'll ask her if she would be guardian of her siblings. Then again when middle turns 18 if she would guardian her brother. They may not say yes. But I'd still be comfortable with the current guardians. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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