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WWYD? (one final gymnastics issue)


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So, the session at DD's "old" gymnastics goes until later this month. It was my plan to just bow out gracefully and say we couldn't afford it anymore (which is true....just leaving out the part about how we couldn't afford it because we were paying somewhere else, lol). I wanted to avoid any potential confrontation and leave things peaceful between the gym and I. I still sub there once in awhile, and like the ability to use the gym if I want to (for a birthday party, or even just to work with DD). But, I wasn't taking into account the fact that the session wasn't over (we pre-pay) and it wouldn't make sense to quit mid-session. I also know if we go this morning that DD WILL say something about her "new gymnastics", because she is so proud and loves it.

 

So...do we go this morning? Do I play dumb and say I don't know what she's talking about? Do I tell the truth and potentially burn that bridge? I just don't know what to do. I didn't plan this very well.

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I don't remember whether this is your 10yo or your 4yo - sorry -

 

I think - if you want to avoid any possible embarrassment, you might be better off not going and just consider the money lost to experience.. or something..!

 

If you're brave enough to face any possible questions, then go and make the most of the money you've already spent.

 

Actually, what does your DD want to do?

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So, the session at DD's "old" gymnastics goes until later this month. It was my plan to just bow out gracefully and say we couldn't afford it anymore (which is true....just leaving out the part about how we couldn't afford it because we were paying somewhere else, lol). I wanted to avoid any potential confrontation and leave things peaceful between the gym and I. I still sub there once in awhile, and like the ability to use the gym if I want to (for a birthday party, or even just to work with DD). But, I wasn't taking into account the fact that the session wasn't over (we pre-pay) and it wouldn't make sense to quit mid-session. I also know if we go this morning that DD WILL say something about her "new gymnastics", because she is so proud and loves it.

 

So...do we go this morning? Do I play dumb and say I don't know what she's talking about? Do I tell the truth and potentially burn that bridge? I just don't know what to do. I didn't plan this very well.

 

Don't go this morning, and tell them the truth. They will find out your dd is at a different gym, and if you're using their gym to give your dd private lessons, they're going to feel used and lied to (because that would be using them and lying to them.)

 

They also won't look kindly upon you & your daughter "spreading the word" about a "better" gymnastics school. Even if you don't intend to send that message out, that's what the other parents are going to think. And it would be cruel to your dd to ask her not to talk about something she's so proud of.

 

Just be honest. If they take that as burning a bridge, at least they are the ones burning it and not you.

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Don't go this morning, and tell them the truth. They will find out your dd is at a different gym, and if you're using their gym to give your dd private lessons, they're going to feel used and lied to (because that would be using them and lying to them.)

 

They also won't look kindly upon you & your daughter "spreading the word" about a "better" gymnastics school. Even if you don't intend to send that message out, that's what the other parents are going to think. And it would be cruel to your dd to ask her not to talk about something she's so proud of.

 

Just be honest. If they take that as burning a bridge, at least they are the ones burning it and not you.

 

I know you're right. I just don't want you to be, LOL. I avoid confrontation at all costs (which is NOT always a good policy) and was hoping to avoid this issue for at least the next 2yr until she starts competing. Because truthfully, nobody would know until then.....

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I know you're right. I just don't want you to be, LOL. I avoid confrontation at all costs (which is NOT always a good policy) and was hoping to avoid this issue for at least the next 2yr until she starts competing. Because truthfully, nobody would know until then.....

 

I'm a gymnastics coach. Believe me, they will find out through the grape vine before your dd starts competing. I would be willing to bet they figure it out within 2 months.

 

You have a right to choose the gym that you feel is best for your dd. If you don't want confrontation, send them a letter. I know some gyms take these things personally because their feelings are hurt, but that's not under your control.

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I know you're right. I just don't want you to be, LOL. I avoid confrontation at all costs (which is NOT always a good policy) and was hoping to avoid this issue for at least the next 2yr until she starts competing. Because truthfully, nobody would know until then.....

 

You might be surprised. I have often been surprised when the director of our dance studio often finds out that someone left to go to a different studio even though the family that left didn't say anything. I know the director there understands if someone feels the need to go somewhere else (even if she doesn't like it), but she has been hurt when people haven't told her. I would just be honest. I think you are less likely to burn a bridge if you are honest.

 

Janet

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I guess I hadn't thought about the option of the new gym saying something at a meet or something. If it gets back to the old gym, that would be how. At the old gym, we're just in a typical preschool class, and nobody would think anything of it if we dropped out. We aren't well known....well, we are, but only because I coached for 15yr, not because of DD. To them, DD is just a 4yr old preschooler (which is a large part of the reason we're leaving).

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I vote for talking to your dd before you go- explain how it's rude to talk about another gym while you're at this one. Kind of like having a playdate at a friend's house and spending that time talking about another friend being much more fun.

And when someone notices/mentions signing up for the next session, just say you're trying out another gym. If you say you cannot afford gymnastics, they might very well offer you a job or a scholarship. You don't want that!

If you just act casual like it's no big deal, and then they make a big deal out of it, then they look bad. If you try to hide things or lie about them, you run the risk of them spreading rumors about you. No need to burn a bridge that you might want to use one day.

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I vote for talking to your dd before you go- explain how it's rude to talk about another gym while you're at this one. Kind of like having a playdate at a friend's house and spending that time talking about another friend being much more fun.

And when someone notices/mentions signing up for the next session, just say you're trying out another gym. If you say you cannot afford gymnastics, they might very well offer you a job or a scholarship. You don't want that!

If you just act casual like it's no big deal, and then they make a big deal out of it, then they look bad. If you try to hide things or lie about them, you run the risk of them spreading rumors about you. No need to burn a bridge that you might want to use one day.

 

Interesting thought. I already know I have a job there if I ever want to take it. They know I'm not interested in working as anything more than a sub right now. And....they aren't interested in making any major efforts to keep DD or they would have done something already. Again, she's just a 4yr old....one of the 100+ 4yr olds in the gym. With enrollment over 700 kids right now, he isn't concerned about a few leaving here and there (though he certainly should be). I could get into a character assasination right now, but I won't. It'll just suffice to say that he doesn't care.

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