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Adoption--how to search for birth family


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My daughters were adopted through foster care when very young. They have 6 older siblings--1 adopted in Iowa and 5 adopted in Florida who are all older than they are. Those children and their adoptive families do not know my girls exist.

 

My girls would like to find their siblings. 5 of the 6 are over 18 and the other one is very close to 18. Any hints on how to find them? I do have birth names, birth dates, adoption dates for many of them and even an adopted name for 1 of them.

 

I don't want to upset them and am more than willing to go through an agency, etc. but don't know where to start. So many adoption workers are so overworked that they really don't have the time for the search.

 

Any ideas for me?

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A lot of times you can find them on the internet with the information you already have.

 

My husband is adopted and a few years ago we got a judge to unseal his adoption records so that we could locate his birth family. Even with all the information we had, we were not able to find them, so we hired a PI. (She lives in TX and we are in OK, but an Oklahoma PI told us she is the best!) She had all of the information and phone numbers for us within a week. It turned out his birth mother was deceased, which is why we couldn't find her, but we were able to make contact with his older brothers, uncles, and grandma. His older brothers did not even know he existed as they were also given up but adopted by a separate family. (My hubby was adopted at birth and the older boys were 3 & 4 when they were given up and adopted together by another family, which happened around the time of hubbys birth.)

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I did some poking around the internet to find ds's birth mom. I knew her last address so that helped some. You can use one of those online pay sites too but I just found her through the SSI death index :(

 

Have you tried Facebook or other social networking sites? Sometimes you can find a relative/etc and that leads you to the birth parents. Also, if they have a criminal record, you can sometimes (depending on the county) get court records (public record) and that can give you more insight too. Good luck!!!

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Any hints on how to find them? I do have birth names, birth dates, adoption dates for many of them and even an adopted name for 1 of them.

 

Note: I apologize in advance being rambling here!

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I would begin with the one whose adoptive name you know. I'd first run her name through veromi.net. Since she's young, she may not appear there yet. Also try USSearch. Can you find the person? Notice the "Related" names in the right columns.

 

Using the "Related" names, begin with the less common combinations. Go to Facebook and plug in a name. This is where you hope for not too many matches. Go to each match, search for the adoptive LAST name only of the person, and see if you hit on any of the other "Related" names, or any other possibility.

 

Names like Susan Brown are very difficult. An usual name would be much easier. I spent about 30 mins. looking for a Laura Dodge yesterday, and I was surprised how easy it was to narrow down. Although it's a more common name, I was able to figure that she's not searchable on FB (if she's there, or if she's even alive).

 

In addition to trying Facebook, go to classmates.com. (They've recently merged with another site, so that should take you to the new site.) Search for the person there. You don't have to have the exact high school; you can search within a state (or not include a state), where you may find more info.

 

It's to your advantage that this person is young. It's less likely they're cautious about privacy on the internet.

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