trouble with 11 year old son

[vlgimmelli]

Hello,

 

Lately I have been having trouble with my 11 year old son. He has OCD and I believe a bit of Aspergers. He has been very hyper lately and just rebellious. It seems to me that he has lost respect to me, where he does not want to listen to what I say. And will do opposite and just give me a hard time. If I ask him to do certain lessons, he sighs and complains. He has been flapping hands lately more than ever and also his focus has been worse, he gets preoccupied with what his 5 year old sister is doing rather than paying full attention to his school work. I am at my wits end and just do not know how to handle this. It has been happening too often and I would love to know what other moms would suggest.

Thank you.

[Mission-Driven-Mom]

:grouphug: you're not alone!

 

Have you tried helping with diet &/or supplements?

 

I have had some marked improvements in the add/adhd behaviors of my children following a gluten-free, casein-free, artificial/additive free, low suger diet. Plus, high quality supplements...multi-spec vitamin, Cod liver oil.

 

The first 3 wks. HARD transition (although some symptomatic behaviors and physical signs showed improvement more quickly then what was reflected in their attitude behaviors) but overall both have now smoothed...not nearly as enhanced as before....and they are NOW all on board to getting healthy and "detoxed". DS10 still complains to do his work though...:tongue_smilie:....but I suspect that is more LD related now. Just gotta ignore it and push forward...I am working on making up a reward system for goal achievements which will include attitude hoping that this will make him a more of an active participant!

 

I LOVE this book...Healing the New Childhood Epidemics (Autism, ADHD, Asthma and Allergies) by Dr. Kenneth Bock. Very good read...highly recommend.

 

In the meantime, take a little rest and do some hands on stuff to smooth things out. Also, (since I have younger ones too) try and find a time where the 5yo is sleeping or with a neighbor to do the most important 1-1 teachings of the day or week. ALthough not always possible, this helps us.

[specialmama]

http://www.welltrainedmind.com/forums/showthread.php?t=245468

 

http://www.welltrainedmind.com/forums/showthread.php?t=245450

 

http://www.welltrainedmind.com/forums/showthread.php?t=236351

 

Have you read any of the books suggested or sought some help yet? It is frustrating because you have received lots of hugs and advice in many past posts, but I'm not sure you've got him any help yet, nor some respite for yourself. We want to help you, but you really have to want the help too. :grouphug: It also helps people to understand and give better advice if you continue to mention the autism in your posts. A child on the spectrum learns and responds very differently from "typical" children. :grouphug:

[vlgimmelli]

Specialmama,

 

I posted this in Special Needs because he is autistic. Therefore, I assumed that people would know that he is not a typical child. I did not post on the general forum since that is mainly for typical children.

 

Also, I have read and apply numerous ideas that others have suggested and obviously they have not worked yet, that is why I am posting again. Sorry if I am posting the same problem over and over but I really thought that the forum was here for support and also for when you have a bad day and you just need to talk and be able to express yourself. Unfortunately, I do not have family and friends that understand special needs children or understand about homeschooling so I thought I can come here. Sorry again. I will not post about it no more.

Thanks

[Nature]

You mentioned in previous posts that your son is going through puberty. That is such a tough time. Here are some suggestions that I have:

 

1. Get the book: Your Explosive Child by Ross Greene. It’s a practical guide to help reduce your and your son’s frustrations. Ross Green’s philosophy is that "Children will do well if they can."Treating Explosive Kids by the same author is also a great book.

 

2. Try to figure out where the behavior and anxiety is coming from. You mentioned that he is flapping his hands a lot. This can be a sign of anxiety. Until you discover the function of his behavior and get that under control, you will not be able to effectively teach him any academics. Seek professional help if you cannot figure this out on your own.

 

3. Look into diet interventions. Artificial food coloring, gluten, casein and other foods and additives often have adverse reactions in kids with autism.

 

4. Give him as many choices as possible. For example, ask him if he wants to wear the red shirt of the blue shirt. When there are things that you absolutely want him to do, instead of telling him to do it, give him a choice. For example, do you want to do the dishes now or in 10 min.?

 

5. Lower expectations, at least for now. Temporarily, don’t expect as much from him as you normally would. Relax and take a break. Tell him that for the next week, he’s on vacation from school. Tell him what your expectations are during this time, again giving him as many choices as possible.

 

Hang in there, it will get better. Don’t stop posting if you still need the support.

[vlgimmelli]

Thank you so much Nature for the great ideas. I will definitely try them and see how they work with him. Thanks also for the support and kindness.

[Misty]

I have to 2nd diet and supplements. Removing gluten and casein did wonders for my kids.. Such wonders that my youngest isn't even in the ballpark for Asperger's or ADHD any longer.

[vlgimmelli]

That is awesome. My son was gluten and casein free when he was younger and at around 7 years old I reintroduced gluten and at time he would have casein. I have removed all casein from his diet for the past few months and will remove gluten also, hopefully it will help him. Thanks for your thoughts.

Lillian