Sue G in PA Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 he desperately wanted to go back and gave you the following reasons: 1. Wants to be with his friends 2. likes the lunch choices better than at home :glare: 2. teachers were able to explain "things" better 4. less distractions These were the 4 he came up with off the top of his head. I don't count #2 b/c it is bogus. :D This child will be in 8th grade. I'm not fond of the quality of instruction in this middle school. I know he will do well academically b/c there is such a lack of rigor. He "cruised" through ps last year for 6th, only doing enough to "get by" and his getting by was As and Bs. :glare: I could write a book about how difficult this is for me. I fear I am losing him b/c he honestly HATES being at home and THRIVES on being with his peers. He is a good kid. His friend choices have always been good. There ARE lots of distractions here at home. 7 children under one roof at one time with limited indoor space will do that. A challenging 9yo who requires a lot of attention will do that. A 2yo who is in to everything will do that. I hate that I am actually considering sending him back. But, i can't disregard the fact that he REFUSES to be taught (here at home, by me). I can lead the horse to water but I cannot make him drink. I can provide him with a good curriculum, good teaching, one-on-one attention when necessary but I cannot make the child learn if he refuses. As you all can see, I am really so torn. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pqr Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 No. Education decisions are not for children to make, they are the purview of the parent and if YOU believe that hs is better than ps then stick with it. If YOU believe the opposite then go with that, but do not let a child make the decision and do not let unwillingness to study at home be a deciding factor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacy in NJ Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 Because you say he's a good kid, I would listen to him and allow him to attend school. At his age, it would be difficult to disregard his strong feelings. Absent any character issues that are school related, he's telling you what he wants. You should listen and respect his choice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 (edited) That's the age. I sent my Dd back part time because she wanted to study she would have had to pay for after graduation when she could take it for free now. No brainer. Friends and lunches? Tell him he can invite people over and he can make lunch every day of school. :D But, if he is a good kid, and makes good friends and thrives there, then yeah, I would seriously consider it. Edited February 25, 2011 by justamouse Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*lifeoftheparty* Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 NO. I would put him in Private School, as we plan to do anyway (possibly, and it's a Classical Christian School) somewhere between Middle and High School.... but I would never send my child to public school, despite the fact that it rates a "10" on that Great Schools site. On the other hand, I have ONE child, not 7. So take my advice with a grain of salt. Seriously though, I would do anything humanly possible to keep from putting DS in a public school, ESPECIALLY during middle/high school. I would choose Private or charter, or SOMETHING before I resorted to PS. If he is having behavior issues now, I can't imagine that public school will make it better.... If money is an issue, please check things out b4 you make up your mind. A lady in my Sunday School Class works for our local Christian School, in the admissions office, and has always said that they give LARGE amounts of financial aid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoughCollie Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 (edited) Because you say he's a good kid, I would listen to him and allow him to attend school. At his age, it would be difficult to disregard his strong feelings. Absent any character issues that are school related, he's telling you what he wants. You should listen and respect his choice. :iagree: BTDT. DS refused to be taught at home, and nothing I did changed that. I suppose I could have beaten him within an inch of his life to get him to cooperate, but I'm not in favor of that approach. I expelled him from HS and DH enrolled him in a very small parochial school, and after 8th grade, to PS. We should have saved our money and sent DS directly to PS. He didn't need the transition and the PS was a much better school. Edited February 25, 2011 by RoughCollie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dangermom Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 IMO by this age he's old enough to have input on decisions about his education. That doesn't mean he gets the final say, but I think he wishes should be considered and respected. I think I would probably let him do it and keep an eye on him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SailorMom Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 We had always decided that if our kids wanted to go back for high school we would let them. DS 14 always wanted to go back, and really didn't want to wait for Freshman year. We allowed him to go back in 8th grade for an easier adjustment. We have extremely high standards for him - and he knows it. Higher than the school's - that's for sure :) He knows we expect straight A's and perfect behavior. If not - he comes back home. He is taking advanced classes, but I'll be the first to admit that most of his work is way too easy for him. The only challenge so far this year has been grammar (no one in our family is good at grammar....). Anyway - it was a good choice for us. My relationship with him last year was getting really rough. This year we have had a much better relationship - and are acutally closer. I think he and I needed a bit of distance (he was really starting to rebel - now he's fine). This is a very personal decidion. You are the only one who knows what is best for your son. Do what your gut tells you :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redsquirrel Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 That is so hard. I would be giving it some serious consideration. I might make him wait until next year and start in september..but that might make the rest of the year horrible, lol. Given how you describe him and his friends, and the distractions at home, I would give it very serious thought. I do think he is old enough to have some input. If my son said that to me, knowing him and his friends, I would be hard pressed to say no. It would break my heart, but I know and trust my son. It sounds like you know and trust yours. Good luck to you. This is a hard decision. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suzanne in ABQ Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 My son is going into 8th grade next year, too, and we do plan on him going to school. It will be his first time ever in school, so I don't plan on putting him in the huge, rather rough public middle school. We are trying to get him into a charter school, but admission there is by lottery, and the drawing pool is huge, so we're not getting our hopes up. There is a small private school that is our second choice. Either school would be a good transition to high school (again, hopefully at one of the smaller charter schools). We just both feel that it has become too hard at home. There are so many things that draw him away. He whines and complains about everything I ask him to do. He is capable of so much more than he does at home. He has grown through most of the issues that led us to keep him home in the first place. I feel he would do better for someone else than he does for me. He should be a lot more independent than he is, but he is lazy and distractible, and I spend way too much time watching over him, making sure he stays on task. And, besides all that, I'm just tired. I will be 48yo next month. I've been homeschooling for 11 years, and have a rising first grader that I will be homeschooling. I simply can't give her the intensive, classical, one-on-one instruction that I gave the older two when they were younger if I'm still babysitting my 8th grader. I have recently been toying with the possibility of putting him in school for the remainder of this year (maybe just part time), just as a sort of test, and as a transition to full time school next year. I'm going to go talk to the private school next week, to see if this is a possibility. Anyway, I know my situation doesn't exactly match yours. And, I have no idea what your public school is like. But, in your shoes, I would certainly consider it, for his 3rd and 4th reasons. I would also make my expectations clear to him, and let him know that it would be on a trial basis. If he didn't make the grades, or if I saw behavior or character problems come up, or whatever, he would be coming back home. Then, I'd stand back and give him a chance to shine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 Yes. I would be concerned about the lack of rigor, too and would try to reach a compromise with my child about possibly afterschooling. But if he does not want to be taught at home and feels the atmosphere not conducive to learning, I'd let him go to school. I can sympathize with his need to be away from his siblings for a few hours. Btw, I would have let my DD go back to school if she wanted to. I am strongly of the opinion she should remain homeschooled for high school, but not force her against her will. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melmichigan Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 He "cruised" through ps last year for 6th, only doing enough to "get by" and his getting by was As and Bs. :glare: No, for the reason you stated above, compounded by the fact that you mention that now that he is home and held to higher standards he refuses to learn. I "cruised" all through school and it wasn't in the least bit helpful when I hit the real world. Leave it to DC to pull the socialization card. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HSMom2One Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 (edited) Wow, it is a tough decision. I believe I would explore all other possible options for this young man to have a change in his education, but I would personally not send him to school where the academic program is not up to your standards. You have invested all these years giving him the very best you have to offer, so think of the next step as building on top of those things. We as parents are preparing our children for life, which is much more important than the reasons he listed for wanting to go to ps. He obviously needs to connect with other teens, but like others pointed out, there are ways to do that without having to enroll in the school. I believe there is a way to meet his educational needs and his need to connect with peers. Best to you as you weigh all this out. Blessings, Lucinda Edited February 25, 2011 by HSMom2One Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kate CA Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 No. Education decisions are not for children to make, they are the purview of the parent... I 100% agree with this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peela Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 Yes, I would consider it very seriously. Ultimately the choice rests with you but I found I couldn't teach a child who refused to learn from me. Seems to be the age, too. I delayed it a year longer than I perhaps could have, but ultimately, mine had to go. Homeschooling is not a religion and cannot possibly always be best for every child in every situation, just because it is so great for so many, much of the time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest CarolineUK Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 Because you say he's a good kid, I would listen to him and allow him to attend school. At his age, it would be difficult to disregard his strong feelings. Absent any character issues that are school related, he's telling you what he wants. You should listen and respect his choice. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LidiyaDawn Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 No. Education decisions are not for children to make, they are the purview of the parent and if YOU believe that hs is better than ps then stick with it. If YOU believe the opposite then go with that, but do not let a child make the decision and do not let unwillingness to study at home be a deciding factor. :iagree: "teachers were able to explain things better" - yeah right. That sounds like a "oh I'd better give mom a good school-ish sounding reason or she won't let me go". ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catherine Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 By that age, I think the child should have some input, if not the final decision-making, into his or her educational choices. But I also agree that maintaining high standards for performance and behavior is important. My son wanted to go back to school after only homeschooling seventh and eighth grade, and I allowed it. He had never liked school and was definitely headed in the wrong direction before homeschooling-behaviorally and academically. With some trepidation, I allowed it, at a much better school. Ironically, like Roughcollie, our ps (a math-science magnet high school) was a far better option than the Waldorf school where he had spent sixth grade. He really thrived there, academically and socially, but he left after ninth grade to finish out high school at home! In the end, he realized that he didn't want to give up his freedom, and he wanted to follow his interests more closely. Now my current eighth grader wants to go there in the fall, and I think we'll probably allow it. He's a good kid and I trust him. Best wishes Sue. It's not an easy decision. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 Yes. In no particular order: You say he's a good kid and makes good friend choices. Inviting friends over everyday is just not a realistic option. Most middle schoolers have things to do afterschool and no transportation. Additionally, you would have to say it is realistic for you to support that option--I know I couldn't have kids over everyday (many not from my neighborhood, so not able to walk home). You say he's refusing to learn at home. This fact can lead to destroying your relationship with him and alienating him from the family. Plus, not doing work at home when he's supposed to be homeschooling, really makes it hard for his teacher (you) to advance him academically--that will not help him in the future. Set standards for his behavior, friends, and friends behavior. Set standards for work quality and grades. Require afterschooling something that's not good enough at school or not available at school (eg Latin), back it up requiring he participate in a contest or competition based on the subject (eg National Latin Exam). You will need to resolve the distractions issue at least for the short period of day he is home if you expect him to afterschool and expect him to do work for school the is more than getting by. Perhaps the distractions are part of the reason he didn't put forth effort before--he just needed to get through it fast because working at home is hard. (I don't have 7 kids, but I do have a 9 yo with disabilities who can be quite a distraction to his siblings. I do understand resolving the distraction issue is a big order) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margo out of lurking Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 I would not do it for the reasons you posted/he gave. But, i can't disregard the fact that he REFUSES to be taught (here at home, by me). I can lead the horse to water but I cannot make him drink. I can provide him with a good curriculum, good teaching, one-on-one attention when necessary but I cannot make the child learn if he refuses. I would be very concerned about this aspect of his personality. He will not get far in life by refusing to respect authority, and he needs to begin at home. He's not adhering to the rules while he's with you; how will you enforce them if he's a ps, or refuses to do any homework? (Even if you think he'd follow through appropriately, I'd use this in an effort to motivate his work at home--if you don't do it, you don't get ANYthing.) But honestly, Sue, you have a lot of things going on, and if I were in your shoes, this might not be something additional I could feel that I could take on right now. If I believed that, if I believed that my home would be a more peaceful place without him, and in my heart really believed he would perform better in ps, I would begin praying big time about it to see the path that God wants you to take. :grouphug: I'm praying for you this morning. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joyofsixreboot Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 I would with provisos: bad behavior or slipping grades mean home so fast your head spins. That has been our deal with our older kids. So far they've shone academically and have not been in any trouble. They admit they only go for the friends and actually 'learn' what they want to know on their own. I do admit that I was secretly glad to turn chemistry and trig over to someone else. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MIch elle Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 yes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paisley Hedgehog Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 nm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 With all you've got on your plate, and given that he's a good kid who isn't easily swayed by peers, I'd consider it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 (edited) With all you've got on your plate, and given that he's a good kid who isn't easily swayed by peers, I'd consider it. :iagree: Though I admit, I would consider a private school for several reasons, but #1 being that they may challenge him more academically than the PS (of course that can vary from private school to private school...there are some that are just as lax a various PS's). Yes, he needs to learn to respect you more at home, but that can be worked on in other areas. With education, especially with a large family and a teen boy, sometimes it works best to have that area attacked by someone that isn't "mom". If there are male authorities at school, they can shoulder part of that burden (this is normal if you look at it...teen boys moving to male authorities rather than "mom"). I don't believe he will lose respect for you because of this, but rather, I think with the way males compartmentalise, it will remove that battle hill. I've been there, had friends spend a lot less time speaking to me because I committed the homeschooler's crime of sending a child off to school...but in the end, you do what is best for your child and your family. Weigh the options (and his #1 and #2 are garbage...the other two I would consider). Yes, it's YOUR decision, but I would not just turn a deaf ear to what he has to say. This is the age where we, as parents, have to listen and contemplate what is being said as well. The two I'm sending are because they are ready, the schools are challenging and can help with any gaps I have left (and I can afterschool, if necessary...I definitely keep close contact with them and their teachers), and I know that at this point in their lives, they will focus better out of the home than in (due to having a large family like your's...I understand the chaos). I refuse to see it as giving up, but rather that we've prepared them for slowly moving out to independence...and the other options can help us in carrying this load...they aren't the enemy (okay, I still struggle with that one when it comes to public schools, but you know what I mean). Edited February 25, 2011 by mommaduck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 (edited) :grouphug:You know we love you Sue, and given your set of circumstances...Yes, I'd send him..:grouphug: he desperately wanted to go back and gave you the following reasons:1. Wants to be with his friends 2. likes the lunch choices better than at home :glare: 2. teachers were able to explain "things" better 4. less distractions These were the 4 he came up with off the top of his head. I don't count #2 b/c it is bogus. :D This child will be in 8th grade. I'm not fond of the quality of instruction in this middle school. I know he will do well academically b/c there is such a lack of rigor. He "cruised" through ps last year for 6th, only doing enough to "get by" and his getting by was As and Bs. :glare: I could write a book about how difficult this is for me. I fear I am losing him b/c he honestly HATES being at home and THRIVES on being with his peers. He is a good kid. His friend choices have always been good. There ARE lots of distractions here at home. 7 children under one roof at one time with limited indoor space will do that. A challenging 9yo who requires a lot of attention will do that. A 2yo who is in to everything will do that. I hate that I am actually considering sending him back. But, i can't disregard the fact that he REFUSES to be taught (here at home, by me). I can lead the horse to water but I cannot make him drink. I can provide him with a good curriculum, good teaching, one-on-one attention when necessary but I cannot make the child learn if he refuses. As you all can see, I am really so torn. Edited February 25, 2011 by Tammyla Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JessieC Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 Yes, I would send him to ps if that is what he wanted to do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmyinMD Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 I had to laugh a little about wanting to go for the lunches. Our school menu has the choice of chicken nuggets or pizza pretty much every day. There was an article in the paper awhile back how the nuggets are even more unhealthy than the ones from McDonalds. I almost never let my dd who attends school buy lunch. Luckily she thinks the lunches are nasty and prefers to pack her lunch. I would definitely consider it for the situation you describe. We sent our oldest for 7th this year and she knows if she misbehaves or causes any trouble she's home again very quickly. My oldest has always been very well behaved and isn't the type to get caught up in what others are doing. Her report cards have been mostly As and she has gotten nothing but positive comments from teachers. She may come home next year but I think it's been good for our relationship to have some time apart. She has also become a much more independent worker which is wonderful. Last year at home she needed me sitting with her the entire time she did school work. With 5 younger kids I just didn't have the time and couldn't figure out how I was going to homeschool my twins this year with her at home. Now my dd who will be in 6th next year wants to go to school next year. She is the type of kid to go along with the crowd. She wants to go to school mainly to just socialize and eat lunch with her friends. I will probably not let this child go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 nope. My dd (13) would give the same reasons as to why she wants to be in school, but she's still here. However, that said I would try to address the explaining things better with a video/computer style schooling and the distractions by providing him with a room where he would work uninterrupted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mejane Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 Yes, I would. I would allow him X amount of time to prove to me that he really was going to learn, then we would re-evaluate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HRAAB Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 I have and I would consider it again. My older dd went to ps for high school. It was the best decision at the time. She and I did not work well as student and teacher; I found I was much better at just being her mother than her teacher. She did quite well, made friends. No horror stories. She ended up leaving early - with her guidance counselor's blessing - to start college. She wasn't overly challenged. All in all, I'm very glad we listened to her. Now what to do with my next dd.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chiguirre Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 I think I'd let him go, but I'm not in your place. I would let my dd go to school if she told me that she wanted to escape her brothers' chaotic behavior. Having an aggressive, disruptive sibling can be very draining and, while public middle school wouldn't be my idea of a calm oasis, it's probably the best practical solution for your 12 yo. I would establish a minimum gpa requirement and let him know that if the principal calls me, he'll be home again. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
May Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 Yes, I would send him with some very specific ground rules, good friends, good grades, no behavior issues. When we moved, our dd asked to go to a traditional highschool. We listened to her reasons and agreed to it. She's now attending a smaller Christian highschool and doing well. She has developed a passion for science because of the wonderful Chemistry teacher she had. Good luck with your decision. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 No. Education decisions are not for children to make, they are the purview of the parent and if YOU believe that hs is better than ps then stick with it. If YOU believe the opposite then go with that, but do not let a child make the decision and do not let unwillingness to study at home be a deciding factor. :iagree: *gently* It sounds like he's trying to manipulate you. I'm not saying he isn't a good kid...I think most, if not all kids, at one time or another attempt to manipulate parents to get what they want. As far as distractions at home...Around here, there's about 30 students per class. I don't see how that's less distraction than your littles. What happens if he doesn't work at school? Ime, grade 7 is where things really start to ramp up. He may not find that he can cruise as he did before. At the end of the day, its your (and your dh) decision. Have a long talk with dh, pray if you're so inclined, and take it from there. I think that I would have to mull it over for a few days, because it is a big decision. I wish you all the best. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen in CO Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 I'd step back and start with, "Why are we homeschooling?" and "Why am I homeschooling this child?" Answer those questions for yourself and with your husband first. I homeschooled my ds because he was getting lost in ps. It was very wrong for him. When he was ready for highschool, he wanted to try again so I let him and kept an eye on him. When he finally came home for good, it was because he wanted a better education than he was getting at ps, and he wanted to be in aplace that was healthier for him emotionally. He and I have no regrets about the path we took although it wasn't easy at any step of the way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsMe Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 No. It's not up to my child to make his school choices. :001_huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teachin'Mine Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 (edited) Probably not. But I wouldn't discount his negatives either. I'd find a way for him to have reasonably quiet time for school work. Maybe he can have a desk set up somewhere where he can close the door and have that room off limits to everyone else. Lunch - take a can of spam, some left over meat and a few other things and mix it together - make a patty and call it mystery meat. Serve it with an ice cream scoop of mashed potatoes (don't use any milk), a few graying canned green beans, and some white bread with butter. Serve it on a tray. :D Make sure he has enough activities or occasions to get together with his friends. Ideally some of these would also be homeschooled kids so he doesn't feel alone and can get together with them at different times that ps kids can't. Regarding the teaching style you may want to have a math lesson where you stand at a chalkboard or white board and explain the lesson. Make sure you go over each step and ask questions throughout. Then do multiple samples of the same type of problem and have him come up to the board and complete the problems. Then say that since some of them aren't catching on, you'll need to review some of the underlying concepts. No matter how many times he interrupts and says that he gets it, can you just move on, just keep repeating the same lesson. :D He'll feel like he's in ps in no time. :lol: Then at the end of this stellar day, give him a big hug and tell him how much you love him and love being his teacher. :) Sit down with him and see if there's anything you can tweek to make it even better for him. Edited February 25, 2011 by Teachin'Mine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristusG Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 Probably not. I don't believe that a child that age can make the best decision about their education. Also, it would depend on exactly WHY you are homeschooling. For the reasons we are homeschooling, I would not let my child attend public school. As for his reasons, I would disregard #1 and #2. School is not all about friends, he can see them at other times. I don't put high priority on friendships for children....it's great if they do have friends, but I would much rather focus on the bonding of sibling relationships instead. For lunches, that sounds just like something a kid would say LOL! #3 and #4 sound pretty easily fixable. Maybe you could try to give him a private area and time to do his school work without as many distractions. However, there WILL be lots of distractions at school as well. And maybe you could take a different approach to explaining things.....try different ways and see if it helps. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom-ninja. Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 No. A good education and strong bond to family are more important than friendships with peers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RanchGirl Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 I wouldn't do it for the reasons he listed, and I would be really concerned about his peer driven attitude and general whining/blame game. At his age and apparent intelligence level, he should be able to pursue learning on his own if you have given him the resources. Refusing to learn and then blaming it on mom would not fly around here. If he refuses to learn at home, I would assume he is not going to do any additional work in school. But, I would consider it if *you* think it is the right place for him at this time. I might also try to use his desire to go to ps as a motivator. As in "you accomplish x in academics and display y in attitude/behavior and work with me to improve z family relationships this year, and then you can go for 9th grade to ps because then I will know you are responsible enough to handle it". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WTMindy Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 For reasons 1 & 2-nope!! For reasons 3 & 4-I would evaluate the truth in these and see if I needed to do something differently. If I could NOT fix the problem for him, then maybe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kwickimom Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 No, at least not right at this point. I would not allow my child to simply not do work or learn from me and then get rewarded by going to PS because they wanted to. If my child worked hard for me and really wanted to go to PS, I might give it a thought (if this ever happened after schooling would be required, so MORE work because there is no way the education there is as good as what she is doing here) I dont think sending back to PS simply for the reasons your child stated is enough. I dont want to work all day by HS'ing. I would love to hang out with the moms who have all their kids in school. I would love to socialize and go out to lunch, but I know thats not what is best. I will make it through and so will the kids! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bookfiend Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 No, at least not right at this point. I would not allow my child to simply not do work or learn from me and then get rewarded by going to PS because they wanted to. QUOTE] :iagree: I would never want to send the message that the way to get what you want in our home/or in life is to refuse to do what is asked of you. OTOH, if you feel there is validity in what he is saying, I would challenge him to prove his maturity at home by doing the hard job of succeeding there first. The reward of maturity is having a stonger voice in the direction of your life because you have shown yourself worthy. Perhaps he is unwilling to apply himself at home because he fears if he does "well" (by your criteria), the social aspect won't be enought to persuade you that he should be allowed to return to PS. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wendi Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 Before I'd consider public school, I'd look for a good academic co-op or other option. I'm blessed to have a great place for ds (8th grade): it's kind of like a university model school. He's there two days a week, eats lunch with his friends, there are social and service activities, etc. But he's still home three days a week. It's been a great middle ground. Do you have anything like that for your ds? Or a homeschooling friend with a quieter house :D, where ds might study with her kids at certain times? My ds has trouble with math, so he goes to a friend's house once a week so they can do their math homework at the same time (his friend is two years ahead of ds in math, and can help when ds needs it). Wendi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sue G in PA Posted February 25, 2011 Author Share Posted February 25, 2011 It is a tough decision for sure. I am agonizing over it and dh is "mulling it over". Neither of us want to make any snap decisions. Dh said he is "considering it". My ds told me last night that he "wouldn't hate me" if we decided to keep him home next year as we had planned. He maturely said he wouldn't be happy but he wouldn't "hate me" nor would he "make my life miserable". :D Nice, huh? Honestly, he is such a good kid but does have issues with authority and can be quite rebellious. BUT, he has a good moral compass. He has "promised" to do all of his schoolwork w/out complaint for the rest of this year (we shall see). Now we must work on sibling relations. Ugh. I wish somebody else could make this decision for me! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tristangrace Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 I'd definitely consider it. I don't think 12 is at all too young to start taking some ownership in his education, so if he's up for demonstrating real ownership, I'd say he gets real input in some of the bigger choices. If he follows through on taking better ownership of his at-home education for the remainder of the school year, that's a good sign that he is ready for some degree of decision-making and, IMO, should be given a shot at the education he's interested in. Sounds like your only substantive objection is that public school will not be challenging enough. I'd talk with him about your concerns along those lines and see where the conversation takes you. Again, if he's as mature as he sounds, he may be ready to do some problem-solving with you along those lines. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justasque Posted February 25, 2011 Share Posted February 25, 2011 One thing to consider is that he *will* be leaving home at some point! For some kids, doing it step-by-step is a good path; for others, college may be their first "on their own" experience. Whether he goes to PS or not, consider giving him more experiences where he needs to be responsible for his own needs, such as coop classes or community college classes. Little things, like talking to the teacher if he has some kind of problem with the material or with the logistics of his schedule. Remembering to pack up all the books and papers he needs before going to class. Figuring out what to do if he forgets his lunch. Winging it when he has a test he forgot about, or a pop quiz. Keeping track of his schedule and assignments. For some kids, all this comes easily; for others, some experience is useful. If you don't have a local hs co-op, and you figure he will be headed to PS eventually, the advantage of starting in 8th is that he will have some room to mess up before his grades "count" on the transcript that the colleges will see. As previous posters have mentioned, also look into hs coops, private schools, etc. Every kid's path is different. There are many choices, each with pros and cons. Every family has a different mix of local and personal resources. Good luck!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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