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My son had a sleep over last night, and 2 of the mothers were here at the same time picking up their boys. One of the women had given me "The Help" to read, and she had given it rave reviews. I had said it was O.K., but that I didn't understand all the hype. In a sort of jokey-jokey way, she commented that I am a book snob, and the other woman chimed in and agreed. I do read light material, but I also read quite a bit of "meaty" material. I was offended and I stated that, but they kept on with the whole snob bit.

 

Do friends make these kind of statements? Why would a "friend" say something like that? My friends list is dwindling down.

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My son had a sleep over last night, and 2 of the mothers were here at the same time picking up their boys. One of the women had given me "The Help" to read, and she had given it rave reviews. I had said it was O.K., but that I didn't understand all the hype. In a sort of jokey-jokey way, she commented that I am a book snob, and the other woman chimed in and agreed. I do read light material, but I also read quite a bit of "meaty" material. I was offended and I stated that, but they kept on with the whole snob bit.

 

Do friends make these kind of statements? Why would a "friend" say something like that? My friends list is dwindling down.

 

Her initial response sounds like it was intended as friendly teasing. Going on after you stated you were offended was not the nicest thing to do. Friends do sometimes tease each other. Sometimes things get out of hand. I would not remove her from a list of potential friends based on one incident. I also would not borrow books from her in the future. When offered, simply jot down the title (or not) and say that you have other reading lined up at the moment.

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Maybe she was a bit offended that you said you didn't understand the hype of a book she was highly recommending? I say let it roll off your back and not worry about it!

 

:iagree: Some people take such things personally. Sounds like she's one of them. You can still be friends. Just don't discuss books. :)

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Just laugh it off. I think sometimes we can be too sensitive. If they do something really non-friend worthy then revisit taking them off your friend list.

 

:iagree: I would tease a friend about being a book snob - all in fun and joking around. We they smiling? or actually being mean to you in a serious way? I think they were just teasing. I tease people all the time. I hope they don't take it seriously!

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My son had a sleep over last night, and 2 of the mothers were here at the same time picking up their boys. One of the women had given me "The Help" to read, and she had given it rave reviews. I had said it was O.K., but that I didn't understand all the hype. In a sort of jokey-jokey way, she commented that I am a book snob, and the other woman chimed in and agreed. I do read light material, but I also read quite a bit of "meaty" material. I was offended and I stated that, but they kept on with the whole snob bit.

 

Do friends make these kind of statements? Why would a "friend" say something like that? My friends list is dwindling down.

 

As a fellow book snob, I say just blow it off. A lot of people can't understand that pop fiction is light reading, because it's so deep and meaningful compared to People Magazine!

 

I have friends like this. I don't discuss books with them. When they rave about a book that I don't find inspiring, I just smile and nod.

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My guess is that she (and maybe the others) are intimidated by your willingness to tackle heavier reading, and may have been hurt by your remark. IME, many people read primarily for emotional enjoyment not intellectual stimulation. They either don't know how to handle analysis and context discussions or do but think it's hard work when they're reading primarily for relaxation.

 

I'm telling you...this classical education business can ruin your social life. I stepped into a minefield with friends over coffee at Starbucks before the holidays. One of our group had been told prior to a visit from family with young children that Harry Potter gifts etc. were not ok. Grandmother was perplexed and felt that since they do approve of and love the Narnia books, that HP should be ok too. She did not want to have an analytical discussion of why that might be. Mrs. Dashwood's standby topics of the weather or roads are always good in a pinch. ;)

 

Pam's approach is good; smile and nod. Sometimes I try to get my friends to talk about what they like so I don't have to say much. I once read several of a popular series of so-called Christian themed books just to understand why some of the ladies in my Sunday school class raved about them. That was a mistake.

Edited by Martha in NM
clarity & add thought
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My friends would say it about me, and I would generally agree. :D it definitely would not offend me, and it would not occur to me that this might offend someone.

 

Me too.

 

Sounds like they were joking. They probably thought you were joking back when you said you were offended and didn't realize that they were really hurting your feelings. I'd let it go and avoid future book discussions with these ladies.

 

Cat

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Totally agree that she was offended, and was just trying to make light of an awkward moment.

 

:iagree: Next time tip your nose up, affect a ritzy Boston accent, and announce that you'll take your next book on a platter with some Earl Grey tea, and then laugh.

 

Sorry you were caught off guard.

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My son had a sleep over last night, and 2 of the mothers were here at the same time picking up their boys. One of the women had given me "The Help" to read, and she had given it rave reviews. I had said it was O.K., but that I didn't understand all the hype. In a sort of jokey-jokey way, she commented that I am a book snob, and the other woman chimed in and agreed. I do read light material, but I also read quite a bit of "meaty" material. I was offended and I stated that, but they kept on with the whole snob bit.

 

Do friends make these kind of statements? Why would a "friend" say something like that? My friends list is dwindling down.

 

I wouldn't care, but I do NOT think you overreacted or are overreacting by having feelings about it.

 

It's not the most polite thing to say to a person, but it's pretty hard to find perfectly polite friends.

 

Unless they are otherwise jerks, I'd let it pass.

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Next time someone does this, you could always do the suffering artist routine: "Oh, yes, you know, it's SO hard to find good books to read these days! So few of them are printed with the gold edges anymore!" (Spoken with the back of the hand raised to the forehead with a pained, forlorn expression on your face.) :lol:

 

Wait, where's svengo when I need it... Ah, there we are!:svengo:

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My son had a sleep over last night, and 2 of the mothers were here at the same time picking up their boys. One of the women had given me "The Help" to read, and she had given it rave reviews. I had said it was O.K., but that I didn't understand all the hype. In a sort of jokey-jokey way, she commented that I am a book snob, and the other woman chimed in and agreed. I do read light material, but I also read quite a bit of "meaty" material. I was offended and I stated that, but they kept on with the whole snob bit.

 

Do friends make these kind of statements? Why would a "friend" say something like that? My friends list is dwindling down.

 

No, I wouldn't have been offended. I think it sounds like just good natured chiding that friends do.

 

I also agree that she may have been a bit annoyed that you commented about the "hype" after she recommended it to you.

 

Lisa

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IMHO, these friends felt intimidated by your book tastes, and were trying to make light of it. They could have / might have taken offense at your opinion of the book.

 

IMHO, you shouldn't have dissed the book at all (jokey jokey is not an excuse) since your friend had recommended it highly. You should have simply thanked her, said nice things about the book, and moved on (remembering to discount her book advice in the future). Sort of the same way you'd show appreciation for a meal your friend prepared, even if you didn't really love it. . .

 

So, yes, you're taking it poorly. . . If she can tolerate you dissing her book recommendation, then you should be able to tolerate her calling you a book snob.

 

FWIW, I am a book snob, so I do get it. Just embrace it, and lighten up on your friends.

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IMHO, these friends felt intimidated by your book tastes, and were trying to make light of it. They could have / might have taken offense at your opinion of the book.

 

IMHO, you shouldn't have dissed the book at all (jokey jokey is not an excuse) since your friend had recommended it highly. You should have simply thanked her, said nice things about the book, and moved on (remembering to discount her book advice in the future). Sort of the same way you'd show appreciation for a meal your friend prepared, even if you didn't really love it. . .

 

So, yes, you're taking it poorly. . . If she can tolerate you dissing her book recommendation, then you should be able to tolerate her calling you a book snob.

 

FWIW, I am a book snob, so I do get it. Just embrace it, and lighten up on your friends.

 

 

:iagree: Totally agree here.

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I'd only tell a best friend that the book she leant me was lame. Anyone else would be thanked. "I enjoyed it. Thank you for lending it to me!"

 

I am not sure it's a great thing to be snotty to people who dont truly now you. I mean sure, yeah, but don't be surprised.

 

I've never read The Help as book friends have told me it's predictable. (I would probably like it... as often I just really want 'lite'.)

 

But!

 

I do have experience with Harry Potter. I really like Harry, and a lot of people do not. :tongue_smilie:

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:iagree: I would tease a friend about being a book snob - all in fun and joking around. We they smiling? or actually being mean to you in a serious way? I think they were just teasing. I tease people all the time. I hope they don't take it seriously!

 

Me too! I am blunt and love to tease my real friends without any meanspiritness behind it. Do you feel they were being mean-spirited or just joking with you about something that is actually true from their perspective. It's okay to be a book snob.....I am a restuarant and food snob!!

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I take it that you are here on these boards because on some level you are a classical educator. So of course you are discerning about your reading material and deep down a book snob.

 

If it comes up again, just good naturally agree that yes, you are a book snob. Make a bit of fun about it. Enjoy it.

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I take it that you are here on these boards because on some level you are a classical educator. So of course you are discerning about your reading material and deep down a book snob.

 

If it comes up again, just good naturally agree that yes, you are a book snob. Make a bit of fun about it. Enjoy it.

 

Yes, I'd take it as a compliment and thank them! :D

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Yep. What she said was no more offensive than what you said to her.

 

:iagree: I don't mind someone not liking a book I recommend but I would be offended by the 'hype' statement. It comes across in a snobby manner, as if the OP was saying that the book was stupid. The person who liked the book would then be made to feel stupid. Of course not everyone has that type of perception but I would, so I'm assuming others might as well.

 

In that situation, I told someone I thought the book was interesting and then changed the subject because I didn't want to discuss it. I don't see that as a lie. I found it interesting that she would love it so much and it didn't do anything for me. :) She felt the same way about a book that I find highly inspirational in homeschooling. Only she wasn't so nice about it. It definitely hurt my feelings.

 

FWIW, I'm not a reader of serious things. And I resent someone thinking that my reading habits are a way of judging my character. I just don't have the skills to read a serious book without getting all bogged down in it. For example, I'm reading a book for one of my classes right now that is just making me miserable. It has interesting information but each chapter is so flipping long and the information is often redundant from one paragraph to another. This takes away my ability to concentrate and retain what I'm reading. I'm just about finished a 40 page chapter that I started over 3 hours ago. I have to reread pages to really understand the material, and I have to take breaks because my brain is befuddled. It's not a textbook either. This book is going to take me a really, really long time to get through.

 

*sigh* Back to reading.

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:iagree: Next time tip your nose up, affect a ritzy Boston accent, and announce that you'll take your next book on a platter with some Earl Grey tea, and then laugh.

 

Sorry you were caught off guard.

 

Or a British accent would do nicely. ;) And don't forget the biscuits, darrrling.

 

I think I'd just laugh it off!

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