8th grade, 13yog, Essay, Comments Please

[Wildiris]

Assignment:Compare and contrast two short stories.

2/17/11

English

 

The Rational and Emotional Mind

 

“To Build a Fire†by Jack London and “The Secret Life of Walter Mitty†by James Thurber are two stories that are almost complete opposites. “To Build a Fire†is about a man who is caught in a snowstorm on his way to the Yukon. He is warned about the storm, but he does not listen. He does not think the storm will be as bad as he is told. It is stated at the beginning of the story that he is a man without imagination, and because of this, he cannot imagine how cold it will really be. “The Secret Life of Walter Mitty†however, is about a man who has too much imagination and frequently daydreams. These two stories are allegories about the balance between the rational and emotional mind.

 

“To Build a Fire†and “The Secret Life of Walter Mitty†both are allegories, stories that are meant to teach us something. “To Build a Fire†is trying to teach us that we should not always rely on reason in some circumstances. Our reasoning may be incorrect or the sources that we draw our reasoning from may be faulty. “The Secret Life of Walter Mitty†tries to teach us that while imagination and daydreaming can be good, too much of it is not. If you are off in your own world too often, you forget about the world around you and in some circumstances, that could be deadly as shown in “The Secret Life of Walter Mitty†when Mitty is driving while daydreaming.

 

These two short stories are also about balance. In “To Build a Fireâ€, the unnamed main character relies solely on his reasoning instead of instinct as he should have. However, one cannot rely on instinct alone. Your instinct may tell you to flee, but the right thing to do may be to stay. There needs to be a balance between the two, a little reasoning mixed in with your gut reaction. Likewise, in “The Secret Life of Walter Mittyâ€, Mitty needs balance between his dream world and reality. While it is perfectly good to daydream and you should do it, you can’t live in your own world so much that you lose your grip on what is happening in reality. You should not completely block out your imagination though. You need a little bit of both.

 

As different as they are, these stories both show how having too much or too little imagination can possibly be our downfall. In “To Build a Fireâ€, the main character’s small imagination really did kill him in the end. He failed to imagine how cold it would be to try to go to the Yukon and because of this he froze to death. Walter Mitty has an imagination that is too big and often distracts him from the task at hand. At several points in “The Secret Life of Walter Mittyâ€, Mitty is driving and daydreaming at the same time. As a consequence, he drives too fast and tries to enter a parking lot through the exit.

 

In contrasting the two stories, reason and rationality comes up again. The man in “To Build a Fire†acts completely out of reason and rationality while Walter Mitty acts out of instinct, or at least in his daydreams he does. In Mitty’s reality, he does not reason because everything is always chosen for him by his wife. Mitty says to his wife, “Does it ever occur to you that I am sometimes thinking?†In response, his wife says, “I’m going to take your temperature when I get you home.†His wife does not allow him to think, or thinks that he can’t. The man in “To Build a Fire†seems to have no instinct to act off of and uses only his mind. He thinks he can make it to the Yukon in the freezing cold, but he does not listen to his instinct telling him not to do it.

 

Now we come back to imagination. “The Secret Life of Walter Mitty†and “To Build a Fire†are complete opposites when it comes to imagination. While Mitty has too much imagination, the man in “To Build a Fire†has none at all. Jack London even says “The trouble with him was that he was without imagination.†Walter Mitty however, is always immersed in his own world. Almost every second of the day he lives in his daydreams because there he can be who he wants to be, not what his wife makes him.

 

Another difference between these two stories is the philosophical side of the characters. The man in “To Build a Fire†wouldn’t be caught dead talking about something in the slightest bit philosophical, while in one of Mitty’s daydreams, someone tells him that people only live once and he says, “Or do we?†He may ask this of himself because of how many different lives he lives in his daydreams, or the reason for this question may be the result of the context of his daydreams, life or death situations. The man in “To Build a Fire†has too rational a mind to delve into philosophy. He is always living strictly in reality and never venturing into the more abstract, for to venture there would involve imagination.

 

These two stories, I believe, express a need for balance in life. Both stories make a person think about different balances that must be maintained in life; the balance between instinct and reason and the balance between reality and dreams. It is interesting how the main characters in two stories that are almost complete opposites, yet the stories try to teach us almost the exact same lesson: Balance the rational and emotional mind.

[Kimber]

I read most of the paper, but honestly because I hadn't read the stories, I got a little lost. Also, I've been editing papers all day and, unfortunately, I'm not done yet. My eyes are rejecting anymore in depth grading at this late hour.

 

Did she use an outline? Did she have to produce so many paragraphs or word count? I'm just asking because this seems like a long paper, much longer than any of the assignments the 7th and 8th graders are doing at co-op. Basically, this seems like a hard assignment, which she evidently did without any trouble.

[Wildiris]

Thanks for taking the time to comment Kimber.

 

Yes, she used an outline. How could she improve the paper so the you, unfamiliar with the two stories, would be able to follow her thinking? The assignment was to choose a compare/contrast format, I gave her two to choose from, and compose a paper--No word count and no set number of paragraphs.

 

[choirfarm]

First of all, this is very, very good for an 8th grader. Did you give her the outline or did she compose it herself. The subject is quite deep for someone this young. She gives specific examples to back up her statements. I did not find it confusing at all, but then I am quite familiar with the stories. To be honest, I think the audience for this kind of paper is someone who has read them. I don't think you should write it so that someone that has never read them can understand. That would be a completely different type of paper. I'm going to make comments now in red.

Assignment:Compare and contrast two short stories.

 

2/17/11

English

 

The Rational and Emotional Mind

 

“To Build a Fire†by Jack London and “The Secret Life of Walter Mitty†by James Thurber are two stories that are almost complete opposites. “To Build a Fire†is about a man who is caught in a snowstorm on his way to the Yukon. He is warned about the storm, but he does not listen. He does not think the storm will be as bad as he is told. It is stated at the beginning of the story that he is a man without imagination, and because of this, he cannot imagine how cold it will really be. a little too much information about "To Build a Fire" A sentence like In "To Build A Fire" a man freezes to death in part because of his lack of imagination. “The Secret Life of Walter Mitty†however, is about a man who has too much imagination and frequently daydreams. These two stories are allegories about the balance between the rational and emotional mind. To be honest, I don't like the use of allegories here. I don't think they are allegories. You are using your interpretive skills. I don't think they can be read in the same way as Pilgrim's Progress. I love the balance between the rational and emotional mind, though. Keep that and work on the thesis.

 

“To Build a Fire†and “The Secret Life of Walter Mitty†both are allegories, stories that are meant to teach us something. I will only put this once, but it is a flaw throughout the paper. Do not use you ,we, I , us, etc. Once again, allegories don't just teach. A character stands for something like the animals in Animal Farm stand for Stalin, the common people, etc. "To Build a Fire" and "The Secret Life of Walter Mitty" teach the reader something about himself: that relying on reason alone can have disastrous consequences. “To Build a Fire†is trying to teach us that we should not always rely on reason in some circumstances. Our reasoning may be incorrect or the sources that we draw our reasoning from may be faulty. “The Secret Life of Walter Mitty†tries to teach us that while imagination and daydreaming can be good, too much of it is not. If you are off in your own world too often, you forget about the world around you and in some circumstances, that could be deadly as shown in “The Secret Life of Walter Mitty†when Mitty is driving while daydreaming.

 

These two short stories are also about balance. In “To Build a Fireâ€, the unnamed main character relies solely on his reasoning instead of instinct as he should have. However, one cannot rely on instinct alone. Your instinct may tell you to flee, but the right thing to do may be to stay. There needs to be a balance between the two, a little reasoning mixed in with your gut reaction. Likewise, in “The Secret Life of Walter Mittyâ€, Mitty needs balance between his dream world and reality. While it is perfectly good to daydream and you should do it, you can’t live in your own world so much that you lose your grip on what is happening in reality. You should not completely block out your imagination though. You need a little bit of both.

 

As different as they are, these stories both show how having too much or too little imagination can possibly be our downfall. In “To Build a Fireâ€, the main character’s small imagination really did kill him in the end. He failed to imagine how cold it would be to try to go to the Yukon and because of this he froze to death. Walter Mitty has an imagination that is too big and often distracts him from the task at hand. At several points in “The Secret Life of Walter Mittyâ€, Mitty is driving and daydreaming at the same time. As a consequence, he drives too fast and tries to enter a parking lot through the exit.

 

In contrasting the two stories, reason and rationality comes up again. The man in “To Build a Fire†acts completely out of reason and rationality while Walter Mitty acts out of instinct, or at least in his daydreams he does. In Mitty’s reality, he does not reason because everything is always chosen for him by his wife. Mitty says to his wife, “Does it ever occur to you that I am sometimes thinking?†In response, his wife says, “I’m going to take your temperature when I get you home.†His wife does not allow him to think, or thinks that he can’t. The man in “To Build a Fire†seems to have no instinct to act off of and uses only his mind. He thinks he can make it to the Yukon in the freezing cold, but he does not listen to his instinct telling him not to do it.

 

Now we come back to imagination. “The Secret Life of Walter Mitty†and “To Build a Fire†are complete opposites when it comes to imagination. While Mitty has too much imagination, the man in “To Build a Fire†has none at all. Jack London even says “The trouble with him was that he was without imagination.†Walter Mitty however, is always immersed in his own world. Almost every second of the day he lives in his daydreams because there he can be who he wants to be, not what his wife makes him.

 

Another difference between these two stories is the philosophical side of the characters. The man in “To Build a Fire†wouldn’t be caught dead talking about something in the slightest bit philosophical, while in one of Mitty’s daydreams, someone tells him that people only live once and he says, “Or do we?†He may ask this of himself because of how many different lives he lives in his daydreams, or the reason for this question may be the result of the context of his daydreams, life or death situations. The man in “To Build a Fire†has too rational a mind to delve into philosophy. He is always living strictly in reality and never venturing into the more abstract, for to venture there would involve imagination.

 

These two stories, I believe, express a need for balance in life. Both stories make a person think about different balances that must be maintained in life; the balance between instinct and reason and the balance between reality and dreams. It is interesting how the main characters in two stories that are almost complete opposites, yet the stories try to teach us almost the exact same lesson: Balance the rational and emotional mind. Overall , this is a great ending paragaph. Two things: Take out I believe. This is a cardinal sin in writing. The whole paper is what you believe. You only remind us of that fact and weaken the paper when you put it in. Why do I care what you believe? State it as fact. These two stories express a need for balance in life. Then take out the us: The two main characters in these two stories are almost complete opposites, yet the stories try to teach almost the exact same lesson: Balance the rational and emotional mind.

 

As I said, this is an awesom paper with great use of examples and quotes from the stories. Just point out the use of first person. Although using first person might be fine in a personal essay, it is not allowed in a formal paper of this type.

[Kimber]

I read Choirfarm's comments so I don't have much to add.

 

But I will add this one comment, I thought the final paragraph was way more direct about her thesis than the introductory paragraph. I used to have a high school student at a co-op class that was one of the best writers I have ever met, (including adults). And 90% of the time, his final paragraph was excellent and better at introducing his paper than the first paragraph.

 

Her paper reminds me of his.

 

The other thing I thought, and you can take this with a grain of salt or dismiss it entirely, is that this could have been two separate papers because she's discussing two separate ideas--the balance between instinct and reason and the balance between reality and dreams. That way she could have elaborated on one of the two, allowing her to go deeper, and preventing her from going back and forth between the two so much.

 

But my kids have not yet written such elaborate papers, and maybe I'm being too picky about a personal preference, when in fact that was, maybe, the point of the assignment? (One of the reasons I hate to give feedback on one paper, one time, without knowing what the student is capable of or was trying to accomplish.)

 

All in all, this paper is really really good and there's very little to actually correct outside of what Choirfarm has all ready said.

[Wildiris]

choirfarm~Thank you for the very specific corrections. I will pass them along to DD~13. I will remind her again about not using pronouns in an academic paper, and she will have to revisit the definition of allegory.

 

Kimber~Thank you for the additional comments.

[Capt_Uhura]

I have nothing to add but wanted you to know I read it. :001_smile: Tell your DD I really enjoyed reading her essay!