BellaMama Posted February 18, 2011 Share Posted February 18, 2011 What do you treasure about your relationship with your daughter? I am having a difficult time appreciating the time spent with my daughter, I'm tense/exasperated when she is around. The time we spend together is filled with reprimands/correction as she tests limits constantly, it's exhausting! I don't expect parenting to be a walk in the park, I also have a son and our relationship is wonderful. I feel horribly guilty for having these feelings toward her. I don't want to look back on these years and feel like I missed my chance of finding peace and being relaxed around my daughter. So, what qualities do you love about your daugher? I need to see her in a more positive light. I'll start (since I badly need to do this exercise) When she chooses to: 1.She can play nicely with her brother 2.Her perseverance (piano practice,running) 3.She can be helpful 4.She is not shy (recitals) Could you please post what you enjoy about your daughter? Thanks, Isabelle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted February 18, 2011 Share Posted February 18, 2011 My relationship with my dd can be rocky too.:grouphug: I treasure my dd's: quick wit enthusiasm (even though it leaves me exhausted) loyalty to her friends Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KristinaBreece Posted February 18, 2011 Share Posted February 18, 2011 My DD is 2, and I am dreading the inevitable difficulty of a mother-adolescent daughter relationship in the future. I'm :bigear: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted February 18, 2011 Share Posted February 18, 2011 Both of my dd's are delightfully funny. They both share many private things with me. This is especially important as my dd18 has more serious things to consider in her life. To pull out individual things: Dd18 has a phenomenal work ethic at her job. She has amazed managers/owners at both jobs she's had. She's responsible and I've never had any cause to not trust her. She is amazing with her brother and sister. She respects me and even when we argue, she doesn't get ugly. She argues quite logically and can present her case in a way that I don't always see at first. She calls me when she's out to let me know what she's doing so I don't worry. The couple of times she forgot, she was so apologetic when she saw how worried I was. She truly cares about how I feel. Dd12 is a sensitive person, always worried about others. She's very independent. She never displays a bad or snobby attitude. I absolutely love spending time with my daughters. We usually have such good times and laugh a lot. I make a point to spend one-on-one time with each of my children, away from the house, even if we just go to lunch. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peela Posted February 19, 2011 Share Posted February 19, 2011 My dd is incredibly easy going and patient. If I get upset with her, she will be sorry immediately, and if she is upset with me, she will get over it soooo fast. I just wanted to say that my dd and I are quite different- but we get on well and respect each other. I often wonder if people who dont get on well with their daughters have personalities that might be quite similar to their daughter and their dd "mirrors" to them their less favourable characteristics. I have seen that in some families but of course every family is different. We always say that our dd inherited the best of both dh and I. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted February 19, 2011 Share Posted February 19, 2011 My dd is focused and determined. She has a long term goal of going to vet school and knows math and science are essential to this, as well as good grades in general. She works very hard on academics, whether or not the topic is of interest to her. Outside of school she seeks out animal related activities, lately helping in a rescue group and learning all kinds nondoctor level medical through her care of animals. She also recently decided to try cheerleading and is putting the same focus into mastering tumbling routines. She's also very helpful with her brother who has developmental disabilities and plays with him lovingly. I also love that at 13 she likes to watch movies with me. We have movie nights in my bed every few weeks and we paint our nails and talk (sometimes about the movie sometimes not). I never had that with my mom. I feel lucky and am grateful. The flipside of focused for her is high strung so everything is not charming, sometimes things are quite unpleasant, but I'm glad my dd wants to hang with me sometimes and so far she hasn't shown a limit to what she will open up to me about. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FO4UR Posted February 19, 2011 Share Posted February 19, 2011 My dd mirrors a lot of my unfavorable characteristics, Peela. Spot on. She is sensitive (cries with the crying/laughs with the laughing), stubborn, intuitive, self-motivated, curious, imaginative. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Embassy Posted February 19, 2011 Share Posted February 19, 2011 What do you treasure about your relationship with your daughter? I love her strong will, her individuality, her sense of humor, and her sensitivity. I love being able to parent a child with a strong will. I love her wanting to do things for herself. I love how she makes me laugh. I love how she hates getting into trouble. I'm blessed to be her Mama. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
delaney Posted February 19, 2011 Share Posted February 19, 2011 Oh there are days when "I hate you" gets screamed by an enraged daughter but 95% of the time we are great. My girls and I are so much closer now that I they are HS'd. I never thought my youngest DD would crawl into my lap to tell me she loved me. She is so much more cuddly and affectionate with me. My girls love me reading to them, love cuddling up on the couch to go over math corrections, afternoon tea, and just relaxing while we do work together. Both of my girls do competition dance and we just had a fun weekend together free of all boys. It's our time to do girl stuff only. Strive to keep communicating and be free of too much judgment. I wish I had the relationship with my mom that I have with my girls. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted February 19, 2011 Share Posted February 19, 2011 (edited) My girls. My heart aches with the gratitude. Both of my dd's are delightfully funny. They both share many private things with me. This is especially important as my dd18 has more serious things to consider in her life. To pull out individual things: Dd18 has a phenomenal work ethic at her job. She has amazed managers/owners at both jobs she's had. She's responsible and I've never had any cause to not trust her. She is amazing with her brother and sister. She respects me and even when we argue, she doesn't get ugly. She argues quite logically and can present her case in a way that I don't always see at first. She calls me when she's out to let me know what she's doing so I don't worry. The couple of times she forgot, she was so apologetic when she saw how worried I was. She truly cares about how I feel. Dd12 is a sensitive person, always worried about others. She's very independent. She never displays a bad or snobby attitude. I absolutely love spending time with my daughters. We usually have such good times and laugh a lot. I make a point to spend one-on-one time with each of my children, away from the house, even if we just go to lunch. Edited February 19, 2011 by LibraryLover Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mejane Posted February 19, 2011 Share Posted February 19, 2011 My dd is incredibly smart, disciplined, witty, compassionate, a true friend, a devoted sister, and a beautiful dancer. She's also spoiled and self-centered, but I blame her father for that. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BellaMama Posted February 19, 2011 Author Share Posted February 19, 2011 Thank you for those kind replies. I know I am critical and judgemental toward her. I worry about how she will "turn out" constantly. She is larger than life, so driven, competitive and perfectionnist. A gift, she is a wonderful gift. She teaches me exactly what I need to learn. I need to sit back and think about gratitude. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardening momma Posted February 19, 2011 Share Posted February 19, 2011 What do you treasure about your relationship with your daughter? I am having a difficult time appreciating the time spent with my daughter, I'm tense/exasperated when she is around. The time we spend together is filled with reprimands/correction as she tests limits constantly, it's exhausting! How old is she? I wouldn't say that our time is constantly filled with correction, but I do have some days that by the time dh gets home, I don't want to hear another word. I need them to go several rooms away where I can't hear them! :001_smile: What I appreciate about dd7: her smile, her lankiness, how fast she's growing (that amazes me), the changes in her face as she grows, the look on her face as she read to her 5 yo sister today, and showed the pictures after each page. Loved the look on her face as she watched her sister looking at the pictures. Dd5: she's still cuddly when she sits on my lap; I like her upturned nose and her pointy chin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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