always cookin' Posted February 18, 2011 Share Posted February 18, 2011 I am wondering if any of you have experience sending dc to school when they did not want to go. My dd (12) does not want to go, but she makes life here unbearable for the rest of us. She yells, throw things, etc. She has been difficult for us since pre-K, but behaves great for other people. I have had her in counseling, but the counselor has not had any more impact than I have in helping her to control her temper. I have an evaluation scheduled for her through the school district. It might be due to depression so I am looking into finding a child psychiatrist at the recommendation of the counselor and Md. I am also looking into art therapy for her at a nearby college. I am hesitant to send her to school. I don't want to alienate her from the family. However, I can't take it anymore and it is not fair to the other kids. I am sinking deep into depression myself, and I don't know what to do. All the other options take so long to figure out, and I am having a hard time making it through each day. Any ideas are welcome. Thank you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sophia Posted February 18, 2011 Share Posted February 18, 2011 Can't offer anything but a :grouphug: and bumping this for you in the hopes someone who has btdt can help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TX Bluebonnet Posted February 18, 2011 Share Posted February 18, 2011 I don't have any advice either, I'm sorry. My 8 year old son is very disrespectful to me at times and tries to refuse to do any school work. He also does not want to go to school. I don't understand how this happens with an 8 year old. He is very smart, I don't want to say gifted but definitely smart. I have him working at least one grade level ahead in almost every subject. I thought he was bored so I tried to find more challenging work for him and then he got angry because the work was "too hard". I don't want to send him to school but it has gotten to the point that my husband says he doesn't want to hear me complain anymore and if I do it will be school for ds. At least you aren't the only one.:001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renee in NC Posted February 18, 2011 Share Posted February 18, 2011 Yes, I did, back in September. It was good for all of us for a little while. I got the time to deal with all the issues we were having, both related to school and just general life things. It was good for one of them, neutral for one of them, and very frustrating for the other. I am considering homeschooling again, now that things have changed quite a bit. I'm still not sure, though. I also sent my 12yo in January, mostly because he and I were butting heads constantly. Now that he has been there 6 weeks he is ready to do just about anything to come home!:lol: I think that one has learned his lesson.:tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest CarolineUK Posted February 18, 2011 Share Posted February 18, 2011 I hate to admit it, but early on in homeschooling that was exactly what I was prepared to do with DS10. We've only been homeschooling for 18 months, and we originally started homeschooling partly because of DS10's behaviour (there were other issues). At first his behaviour was difficult and I was very clear that if he wasn't prepared to work for me and be pleasant and cooperative then he would go back to school. Having been to school he knew very definitely that he didn't want to go back and so my threats had a miraculous effect on his behaviour; he is today, a completely different boy. Such boundaries can be very good for children; I don't think anyone wants to be unhappy, angry and out of control, and sometimes they need someone to say 'Ok, enough is enough, you do not need to act this way'. Sometimes, I know, it's not that simple, especially if there are other problems like depression (been there). Another thought is that if she has never been to school then it just may be that school would be good for her. My eldest son would never contemplate being homeschooled in a million years, even though he has had some very tough times with bullies at school. He's very much the extrovert who thrives on the buzz of being around lots of people all the time. He would be incredibly bored and quite a problem for me if I were to insist he stayed home. At least if it didn't work out for her then she just may appreciate what you're doing for her at home a bit more. Sadly, I will have to put DS10 back in school sometime over the next year or so, much against both of our wishes, and I really don't know how we're going to cope with that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom0012 Posted February 18, 2011 Share Posted February 18, 2011 I have not been in this position, but I don't think there's anything wrong with giving it a try and seeing how she does. She might actually like it once she gets there. I think you make a good point about being fair to your other children and realizing your own limitations. Even if it is just temporary, maybe it will give you a chance to rejuvenate and find a different way of dealing with her behavior. Lisa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hsmom Posted February 18, 2011 Share Posted February 18, 2011 I don't have any advice either, I'm sorry. My 8 year old son is very disrespectful to me at times and tries to refuse to do any school work. He also does not want to go to school. I don't understand how this happens with an 8 year old. He is very smart, I don't want to say gifted but definitely smart. I have him working at least one grade level ahead in almost every subject. I thought he was bored so I tried to find more challenging work for him and then he got angry because the work was "too hard". I don't want to send him to school but it has gotten to the point that my husband says he doesn't want to hear me complain anymore and if I do it will be school for ds. At least you aren't the only one.:001_smile: I could have wrote this! I don't have any advice, except do what you feel is best for your family. You never know it may work out to be the right thing for everyone. It would not hurt to try it, all else fails it is one more thing you tired and you will know whether it worked or not. Yes, I do agree it is not fair on you or the other children. I say try it out. Ps is not the end of the world. Some children thrive there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kalypso Posted February 18, 2011 Share Posted February 18, 2011 I put my ds11 in school for the first time in November. I spent 6 years pushing him to do his schoolwork. I was exhausted from it, and it was affecting all my other dc. My dh was also tired of hearing my complaints. Nothing dh did to help worked either. So, here we are 3 months later, and it is going well. Ds still complains about going and doing his homework, but I am not fighting with him all day. Dh and I share the homework duty. Even though I still wish I were homeschooling him, I know this has been the best thing for our relationship. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peela Posted February 18, 2011 Share Posted February 18, 2011 I am fighting my ds15 far less now that he is at school. And I love my more peaceful days. It wasn't his choice to go but he was willing. I think sometimes homeschooled kids develop an unecessary fear of school. It may be exactly what your daughter needs, and it doesn't mean she cant come home again one day, if that feels right- its not a decision that has to be forever. My son is realising the years of plenty of free time were a blessing he took for granted. But there are plenty of things about school that are good for him, like sport, that I wasnt able or willing to provide. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted February 18, 2011 Share Posted February 18, 2011 I haven't, but I would. The other kids deserve peace and protection just as much as she deserves to homeschool, kwim? I speak as a sibling to the kid who could make life unbearable ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LidiyaDawn Posted February 18, 2011 Share Posted February 18, 2011 I am wondering if any of you have experience sending dc to school when they did not want to go. My dd (12) does not want to go' date=' but she makes life here unbearable for the rest of us. She yells, throw things, etc. [/quote'] I think that if you do decide to go through with the public school route, you may need to consider how you'll handle the situation if she just flat-out refuses to go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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