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Curious about miscarriages


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This is going to be a strange question on a homeschooling board, but at the moment I am here and so are all of you. So...

I am curious if others have had miscarriages? And if you dont mind telling me how many? I have had what I think is a very large number, 7. Maybe there are others out there with several also?

I am fighting guilt and depression. Anyone else?

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I had two miscarriages between DS and DD losing 3 babies in all. The first was a single baby at 16 wks and then I lost twins separately at 11 and 13 wks.

 

I don't feel guilt but I do wonder who they would be. When the loss was more recent, I was mad, especially when everyone else seemed to be able to be pregnant but me.

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:grouphug: This is a painful subject for me as well. I had two miscarriages after two healthy pregnancies. I didn't even have to try to get pg with the first two. They just kinda happened. I had such easy pregnancies with the first two. Then I lost two. I was pi$$ed, devestated, angry, guilty, floored, guilty, and just sad. You know, I don't have any real talents. I never had a real career before I started having kids. The only thing I felt I was good at was having babies. Then I just couldn't. That stuff rocks your whole being. I was mad at God. I had people telling me I did something to anger God and he caused this to happen. It was just awful. Then, I woke up one mornig and realized God doesn't kill babies to make a point. Well, not the loving God I know. Sometimes things- bad things- just happen. There really wasn't anything I could do to change the outcome. It just happened.

 

Since I had my miscarriages, I've given birth to a wonderful, colorful, vivacious little girl. I thank God every day for her. It doesn't lessen my sense of loss for the littles that I lost. I had to deal with the guilt that surrounded that situation. Loving my daughter doesn't cheapen my lost babies, and neither does mourning my lost babies cheapen my love for my daughter. It just IS, and I am coming to terms with that.

 

It had been five years since my first miscarriage. I still think about my angel babies daily. I still carry around some small morsel of guilt. But I tell myself over and over again that these things just happen. Doesn't make it any less stinky, but they just happen.

 

:grouphug: momma. I wouldn't wish a miscarriage on my worst enemy.

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I have had 9. I have guilt about some of them b/c I wasn't expecting to get pregnant, and the timing was bad. When I lost one baby, I had tremendous guilt.

 

I get depressed about it as well. There isn't any one thing that is wrong with me so it isn't a solvable problem in that respect and that makes me sad.

 

I do trust in God and His sovereignty though and that is what gets me through those times.

 

I am so very sorry for your losses. Try not to feel guilty. [easier said than done] :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

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I've had one and thought it was something that would never happen to me (not sure why; okay, I know why, but I don't buy that reason anymore). Mine was a blighted ovum -- so maybe that's a little different? (There was never a baby, or a heartbeat; nothing developed after conception/implantation). It was sad, but I can't at all say I "know" what those of you who have gone through several, or those who have lost a baby that you saw on an ultrasound, or whose heartbeat you heard, have gone through. But I do feel for you. And send prayers. I'm sorry.

 

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

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Yes, and I never understood what could've caused it. I never felt guilt though so I'm wondering why you would be? :grouphug:

 

Not the OP, but I can talk a little about the guilt. The guilt for me came from the knowledge that my babies died on my watch. They were inside of me. I felt as though I failed them. I kept thinking maybe if I would have done ___ or maybe if I would not have done ___ my babies would have survived. It was my responsibility to bring these babies into the world, and I failed. That is where my guilt came from.

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I've had two miscarriages resulting in the loss of three babies. I'm very thankful for the dc I do have with me but still mourn the loss.

 

 

Not the OP, but I can talk a little about the guilt. The guilt for me came from the knowledge that my babies died on my watch. They were inside of me. I felt as though I failed them. I kept thinking maybe if I would have done ___ or maybe if I would not have done ___ my babies would have survived. It was my responsibility to bring these babies into the world, and I failed. That is where my guilt came from.

 

I understand this. It is hard not to wonder, "what if..."

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Not the OP, but I can talk a little about the guilt. The guilt for me came from the knowledge that my babies died on my watch. They were inside of me. I felt as though I failed them. I kept thinking maybe if I would have done ___ or maybe if I would not have done ___ my babies would have survived. It was my responsibility to bring these babies into the world, and I failed. That is where my guilt came from.

 

Yah, that about sums it up.

Even though I know God is in control. I keep wondering what part do we play in all of this. Did I do my best or do all I could do?

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I've not had any early miscarriages, but my 1st ds died in utero at 36 weeks. I had guilt, anger, depression--you name it. He was perfect--nothing obviously wrong -- best guess is a cord accident.

 

Tyler would've been 14 this past October.

 

Time was the only healer for me... :grouphug:

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I have had at least one (I suspect other early miscarriages but since I have very odd cycles I didn't know I was possibly pg until afterwards). I don't feel guilty about losing her, because we know she died due to a chromosome problem (trisomy 18). She was very, very sick and getting worse. New issues/deformities were being discovered weekly. Had she lived, she would of needed heart and brain surgery immediately after birth. Barring some serious miracles, she would have been profoundly affected and physically disabled. We lost her at 22 weeks.

 

 

14 years later, I still feel sad about losing her sometimes. We named her Katie and with the name becoming soooo popular, I have constant reminders when I hear the name (one of dd12s bff is a Katie).

 

I wonder what if.....but then I know dd12 wouldn't be here, so.....

Edited by Tap, tap, tap
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I had three healthy pregnancies and then 2 miscarriages. In fact I'm in the middle of my 2nd one right now. I have missed miscarriages - which means the baby dies and my body doesn't expel it right away. The first time it took 6 weeks from when it died before the baby was expelled and right now I am still in limbo land waiting. I lost the baby earlier this time - at 6/7 weeks so I'm hoping I won't have to wait another 6 weeks to complete. I wish my miscarriages would be immediate so they are faster to get over.

 

With my first I was a little shocked but figured many women have at least one miscarriage and I'll just get pregnant again. Well now that I'm on my second I'm very depressed. The first time I put down to a fluke - now I think there is something terribly wrong with me. I don't feel guilt but I do hate my body for failing the babies. I am also convinced I will not have another baby so as well as grieving the miscarriage I am grieving the reality of only having three children when I wanted many more.

 

I have auto-immune disorders as well as RH- blood type -so I can't help thinking that my body is killing off my babies even though I had all my RH shots and I shouldn't have antibodies anyway because all my previous children have negative blood groups.

 

Miscarriage sucks - plain and simple -but you should never feel guilt -it isn't your fault.

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I am so sorry for your loss. :grouphug: Today my sister had a miscarriage as well she was supposed to be 10 weeks and the baby stopped developing at 7 weeks.

I was the same way when I miscarried, my body just would not recognize the loss. I was so far along that I really wanted my body to do what it had to do and I actually waited 2 weeks. At the end of the two weeks (which has been the hardest things I have ever done) I had a D&C done. We were able to get our baby cremated there after.

I had 5 healthy pregnancies prior, and I will never know why I lost that one. None the less, I have a new found appreciation for all the mothers who have miscarried. It is so very hard and sad, but once you go through one it just becomes that much more real and you can relate.

What helped me also was reaching out to other moms that had gone through the same thing.

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My 2nd baby was IUFD... we found out at 22 weeks. We will never know for certain why he died. We suspect a cord anomoly, because outwardly, he looked perfect, but I was on Diflucan in early PG and have never been able to get past thinking that may have had something to do with it. I felt guilty for a long time, despite having failed a blood serum PG test before receiving and taking the prescription (I took a home positive urine test 2 days later).

 

I cried a lot.

 

Since the birth of #5, my cycles have been off...age & hormones I guess. Sometimes I wonder if my late cycles isn't due to an early MC... but I don't think I'll ever know.

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11 pregnancies:

 

7 living

1 to be here soon

1 stillbirth

2 miscarriages

 

The two miscarriages were this past year...last July and the December before that. And now I'm dealing with a sensitivity/allergy to the pregnancy hormones (PUPS) in this one on top of other issues. I think my body is saying it's time to quit...so this will be our last...almost 31wks and praying she gets here safely.

Edited by mommaduck
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My first baby was a miscarriage. I had been quite sick with a kidney infection right up until just before conception so when I miscarried at 7 weeks, I felt like it was my fault for being sick. It's crazy...I didn't have any control over being sick, getting sick, getting better, etc. and we were using birth control at the time so we were being responsible about not getting pregnant while I was sick. It took a while but I finally came to healthy terms with it. We've since had four children.

 

Things happen and our bodies aren't perfect. My aunt lost a baby at five months gestation after having two previous, completely uneventful pregnancies; a dear friend of mine has had nine mc's.

 

Please don't feel guilty. You don't have any control over this.

 

Faith

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I've had three miscarriages.

 

I did feel guilty because as my baby's mom, I felt I was supposed to take care of him/her and keep them safe...and failed.

 

God has been merciful and given me hope that I will meet them someday.

 

:grouphug:

I'm sorry for your losses.

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This is going to be a strange question on a homeschooling board, but at the moment I am here and so are all of you. So...

I am curious if others have had miscarriages? And if you dont mind telling me how many? I have had what I think is a very large number, 7. Maybe there are others out there with several also?

I am fighting guilt and depression. Anyone else?

 

Hi, I had one. I think we were almost 3 months. We had picked out a name and were getting ready to buy stuff for it. It was a horrible time.

 

7 is too many. You need to see a doctor! I'm sorry.

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Hi, I had one. I think we were almost 3 months. We had picked out a name and were getting ready to buy stuff for it. It was a horrible time.

 

7 is too many. You need to see a doctor! I'm sorry.

 

Depends on how many pregnancies altogether. The average is one out of four pregnancies will end in miscarriage.

 

However, if you do have a high rate, I would see a doctor. I did know one mama that had three living children and twenty-one miscarriages due to a blood disorder (she was against b/c).

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My first pregnancy was a partial molar. My second was DD1. My third and fourth pregnancies were miscarriages (6 weeks and 11 weeks). My fifth was DD2.

 

I'm guessing I'd have continued to have miscarriages if we'd tried to have more kids. I really wanted more kids, but DH didn't. In retrospect, I guess I'm kind of glad we stopped, because it was hard for me to be the mom I wanted to be while submerged in grief. My mom had 6 kids and 5 miscarriages, including one 2nd trimester loss. My grandmother had 7 kids and 6 miscarriages.

 

My mom and I have both had some medical workup done, with no cause found. She got as far as karyotype analysis, and all was fine. I was tested for auto-antibodies and clotting disorders. I actually do carry the gene for a clotting disorder (a pro-clotting mutation), but it isn't clear whether it could possibly have contributed. I've always been a bleeder, so that mutation might actually make me a little closer to "normal".

 

Like others have said, time was the best healer for me. :grouphug:

Edited by jplain
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I've had 5. We lost our first baby and that was beyond devastating. Then I lost one after my first child was born. Again, very hard. Then we went on to have 5 more healthy pregnancies/children. Then, for no apparent reason, I had 3 misses in a row (all before 12 wks) before finally conceiving #7. It gets easier, but you never forget. And once you have had a miscarriage, the first 3 mos. of pregnancy are never very joyful...you are always on pins and needles. :grouphug:

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I've had 2 (one about 12 weeks and 1 at about 7) and, while I often wonder if my past lifestyle (drugs, alcohol, the pill, etc.) factored in, I never felt "guilty." I was sad, I suppose, but I didn't even think I was able to get pregnant so I feel more grateful for the 2 boys I do have, than mourn the 2 that were lost.

 

I have a friend who has 4 healthy children, but also suffered 7 miscarries.

 

:grouphug: Don't feel guilty.

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So many of the women who posted here, also posted to me way back in November when my dd and her dh had an IUFD at 25 wks.........you are all so kind to share your info.

 

I have had 4 miscarriages.

 

The first was a blighted ovum at 10 weeks. (1978)

 

The second and third were at 12 weeks -- we had heartbeats, and then we didn't. (1997)

 

The fourth began as triplets - all with heartbeats. We lost #1 and #2 at 12 weeks, and #3 at 18 weeks - trisomy 13.(1998)

 

We then went on to have a healthy daughter, and healthy boy/girl twins.

 

:grouphug:

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I lost my first at 17 weeks due to triploidy. I went on to have DS and DD1. I had a miscarriage in the April 2008 at 7 1/2 weeks and went on to have DD2 in May 2009. I had pretty severe depression after my first miscarriage and needed counseling and medicine. I was angry about the second loss--an attorney came to court knowing that he was infected with chicken pox and I miscarried soon after. I know he didn't kill my baby but sometimes I wonder.

 

Christine

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We had dd #1, then 2 miscarriages and difficulty to conceive, then dd#2 5 years after dd #1, then a tubal prenancy that ruptured and I almost died. They told me that I would probably not be able to have any more children with all the issues and 1 tube. Well from then on I did not have any trouble conceiving. We had ds #1, ds #2, dd#3, 1 misscarriage, dd #4, dd #5, 1 misscarriage, ds #3, ds #4.

 

So 4 misscarriages, 1 tubal and 9 children.

 

 

 

I am sorry for your losses:grouphug: It is very difficult.

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Hard subject to discuss. (sigh) I'm past the point of trying to have any more children, but getting pregnant and staying pregnant was something I struggled with for so many years.

 

I've had seven miscarriages. The first three were in between ds and dd. The last four were after dd. I know in one case I had a blighted ovum. In another the ultrasound showed no heartbeat around twelve weeks. In most, I miscarried within a week or two of finding out I was pregnant. Barely enough time to determine what happened.

 

I had many tests done to see if there was a way to determine what, if anything, was causing this to happen. Nothing was ever found.

 

With my dd, they did determine that my progesterone levels had dropped below where they should be, and I was put on progesterone for quite a few weeks in the first trimester. No way to know though if that was a factor in other pregnancies. In later pregnancies I was put on progesterone and still miscarried.

 

My last pregnancy was a surprise and happened the same month I turned forty. Unfortunately, I started hemorraging around the seventh week. It took three weeks and two different doctors before they finally did a D&C. After that, I knew I didn't want to try anymore or even have to think about it. I was just done.

 

I'm very grateful for the two I have. I really wanted another one, but it just wasn't to be. I've made peace with the myself and the whole thing, but it was a very difficult time in my life.

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I've had 5 miscarriages, and spent almost 5 years and countless tests trying to conceive...fortunately, the month we started the adoption process was the month I found out I was pregnant with my son :001_smile:

 

On top of infertility issues, I discovered I have a balanced chromosome translocation that caused the miscarriages, as well as severe endometriosis. The endometriosis resulted in me having a total hysterectomy at the age of 38. We were really hoping we could have had 4 children, but it was not to be. Sigh..... Fortunately, God gave us 2 beautiful children before that surgery was scheduled. It is sometimes hard to talk about, but I've been able to use my experiences to help other women going through the same heartache.

 

I feel your pain!

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I am in the middle of my ?5th? None of mine have been confirmed. Take a test, get a faint + and start bleeding within 3-5 days.

 

This time is ROUGH, I have bled heavy and I feel really rotten. I am depressed, dh is working away, and I am trying to continue on with life...

 

I just told my first IRL friend she was like oh, ok well you can try again. Gee thanks.

 

It is hard, it stinks, and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

 

I feel guilt with this one because we stepped away from our grass fed no hormones added meat 3 wks ago. $$ were tight and friends were cleaning out their freezer and had around 50lbs of meat to giveaway...

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Not the OP, but I can talk a little about the guilt. The guilt for me came from the knowledge that my babies died on my watch. They were inside of me. I felt as though I failed them. I kept thinking maybe if I would have done ___ or maybe if I would not have done ___ my babies would have survived. It was my responsibility to bring these babies into the world, and I failed. That is where my guilt came from.

 

No words. Just :grouphug:.

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I had one between Dd1 and Ds. And then for the subsequent 3 pregnancies I couldn't get over the horrible fear of losing them until after 12 weeks. But the fear never really went away. Once you have a miscarriage it is impossible to not fear losing the baby while you are pregnant.

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I was only able to get pg with medical assistance. My first pregnancy was a blighted ovum. It would not miscarry on its own. My hormone levels were increasing the whole time. There was no growth. We finally had a d+c. That was the most difficult. After that, I had 3 confirmed miscarriages. We had genetic testing done on the second of those. It showed a female with no genetic problems. I have also had non-confirmed miscarriages. I had not had a positive pregnancy test, but recognized them because, well, a miscarriage is a bit different than just a normal period. I have since had 2 pregnancies that were achieved with the help of a reproductive endocrinologist. They were both preterm (1 single/1 twin). Then, I somehow became pg without the aid of the medical community. That resulted in a full term healthy boy. I am currently at peace with my bad pg past. It isn't something I would wish on anyone, but it did make me grow into the person I am.

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This is going to be a strange question on a homeschooling board, but at the moment I am here and so are all of you. So...

I am curious if others have had miscarriages? And if you dont mind telling me how many? I have had what I think is a very large number, 7. Maybe there are others out there with several also?

I am fighting guilt and depression. Anyone else?

I've had three and I thought that was a large number.

My first, before other children, about 10 weeks; my second, between #3 and #4, at 12 weeks. That was really hard to take. We saw the little person on sonogram on a Monday, but by Thursday, no life. The third was my last and final pregnancy, and I had mixed feelings about my ability to handle life with that one.

I needed time to grieve that loss and needed support. I didn't need to hear that I needed to "get back at it." I needed time to physically recover. I wanted some solitude. I didn't like being expected to attend a meeting three days later. Or the next week.

I will decide when it is time to get back to responsibilities. Yes, I had some folks trying to determine for me what my recovery schedule would be based upon what theirs had been. :confused:

So farmmom4him, :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:. Throw that guilt away. It makes it harder to heal. Of course you will grieve the loss.

 

***We have seven children and they grow up so fast.***

Edited by gingerh
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Thank you ladies so much for sharing with me. I felt like I was going out on a limb to request such private information, and I am relieved at all the responses.

Seeing that there are so many others has comforted me. I had been feeling a little alone in the matter.

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