Do your parents play favorites with their adult children?

[RoughCollie]

I don't think my mother has a favorite child.

 

My father's favorite child was my half-sister, the product of his second marriage. Perhaps it was a "love the one you're with" type situation. When he died, it had been at least a decade since any of his first family's children, other than me, had had any contact with him, AFAIK.

[Impish]

Interesting.

 

Growing up, my youngest brother was the favourite.

Then in their teens, it would bounce btwn my 2 younger bros.

 

Now, its probably my younger (but not youngest) bro...but in some weird way, it seems to be me too. Probably b/c younger bro works weird hours and isn't available, whereas I'm almost always home for them to talk to. My Dad has a bad back injury, so he and I have grown closer through understanding severe chronic pain.

 

Out of their 4 kids, only myself and my younger (#2 and #3 of 4) are even talking to my parents now. Our relationship has improved dramatically over the last year.

 

Wolf was raised as an only, so it isn't a problem...at least now, since I refused to allow MIL to favour *me*

[Heidi]

Yes. My little sister did "everything right" with her life. :glare: It gets really old.

[katemary63]

My mom needs to be needed (to a really sick degree) and thus she spends more time, money and recourses on the kids and grandkids who are willing to use her. My kids and I are not, so we don't get the attention. But she respects me more and trusts me more. She KNOWS I'm honorable and they.....sorry, but it's true....are not. She thinks more highly of us then of them. Doesn't matter though, they still get all the attention. But I'm not sure who I'd call her "favorite." I don't really care anymore. This has been going on since I was a child and I am used to it. I don't look to her as a mother but do enjoy her company when I have it.

 

My MIL is even worse. She litterally lies and gossips about my DH and our whole family. She is a narcisist and we don't play her game so she has to dismiss us. Her favorites in the family are truely those who patronize her and make her feel important even though they use her also. It's so bad she's caused a rift between my poor (sweet and honorable) DH and his sisters who listen to her lies. None of them talk to us anymore and we are better for it but DH is sincerely sad and heartbroken. He couldn't be a better son and brother and for his goodness (seriously, it's BECAUSE he is good - he's never had a cross word with any of them.) they have rejected him.

 

Though our earthly parents have failed us so profoundly we are more then covered as we look to our heavenly Father to meet all those needs!

[katemary63]

I don't play favorites and I think it's horrid. I love them all-even the PITA.

 

:iagree: Thanks for saying this. I have 1 PITA and I love him (now you know who!) every bit as much as the others. He is 23 and he's my baby boy no matter what. He'll get all of my love and devotion till the day I die, just as the girls will. All my DDs have been heaven to raise, and I adore them. But not more then I love him, no matter how difficult he's been. What he does can not change the way I feel about him. No favorites here. We will always feel blessed to be the parents of ALL our children and we will do everything in our power to make sure they ALL know it. Even with my youngest who gets all my attention now, I can not imagine loving her more then the others when they are all adults and treating her differently. No.

[swellmomma]

Yup. Baby brother is the favorite. Little sister is a close 2nd. I am the black sheep/failure (depending on the day) for the most part. That is for my mom at least. With my dad I have always been and will always be daddy's girl and know I am his favorite.

[KatieH]

Oh yes, my brother is my mother's favorite. Things like...we've borrowed money from her in the past and always pay her back. No problem with that, I'm okay with it. Yet my (single, childless brother) "borrows" money from her all the time, and never has to pay her back. Me, she literally keeps track of every penny, and expects it back within whatever time frame. Him? Ha! Never. I really don't mind paying her back, and I appreciate the help, it's just the huge discrepancy between my brother and me that bothers me.

[Guest Miss Understood85]

I am 25 (f), Live with my mom, no job, yet. Also, single (which ill get to in my lil life story..) I have a younger bro by 3 yrs. Parents divorced and both remarried. Dads remarried (2nd wife) she has 3 daughters.. Moms remarried (3rd) He has 2 daughters and a son (all moved away). Step mom and i have butt heads after a few years of her and my dad being married, i always kept to myself and was depressed since they've been married (i was 12) at the same time i lost my grandfather and moved to a different house to live with all of them (3 girls, dad, step mom , my bro and me) BIG "FAMILY". I quote, because its not as if im treated as one of them .. My mom is a great supporter of me living with her and helping financially while im in school and looking for work. Dad only calls or texts once in a while to see what im up to, he and my brother work together and see each other daily. My mom is going through a divorce. SO the part where i relate with you guys is i feel left out and when i bring up not being invited or involved in occasions they bring up the fact that i don't end up coming or that i leave(well, hello.. why do i want to be around when i feel tension!) . So i still fight in my mind about how to feel about all this.. All step sisters are in relationships Oldest is married has 3 kids, middle has been in a long relationship (due to be engaged soon, im sure) the bf has a daughter, youngest has been on and off in a relationship for a couple years.. ALL have jobs 2 went to college and got some degree. ALL of them have facebook and are always posting things on each others walls and my step mom doesnt seem to care about asking me (just deleted FB) how i am or if ill be coming over to visit.. They all have my cell number to my knowledge, my dad does of course. The f***ed up part i can see is, im not in any of the family pics and they said "i wasnt there" or "didnt show".. BULL! It just so happens im not around and they take pics with them all together(even my grandparents). Also, my step mom knows my dad has a bad memory so she always tells him to message me to invite me to something (birthday, holiday, whatever?) and he of course forgets and when i see her (after finding out theres something going on ) she asks "well didnt your dad tell you?" im like "NO"... HELLOO!! Suspicious? She can't text or call me herself to ask or invite me!? They accept my brothers gf more than me... I could go on..

Edited March 3, 2011 by Miss Understood85
Needed to adjust

[Guest Miss Understood85]

My oldest step sister was 20 when she got preg and moved back.. it didnt take much time for everyone to accept it but yet, i end up preg at 21 and told dad and step mom BIG BIG mistake .. she said something along the lines of " How could you do that or let it happen" ITs like ?? WOW. My mom was more supportive she told me that no matter what i decide to do keep or the other... that she would support me. (by the way my dad told me thats the worst thing that couldve happened to me and due to him saying that and my ex bf i had an ABORT.) I wasn't happy and still have not coped,over it.

 

Also, 2009 i had a dui, SO frowned upon by step mom, dad, gma (gma and dad) warn me and tell me not to drink. The same time i was arrested for my first my brother was in jail on his second... and yet he's a part of the "family"... I feel as if im the "FAILURE/ugly duckling". I know ill never be accepted into their "circle"