Annie Posted February 15, 2011 Share Posted February 15, 2011 My little guy is growing up, and while my mom and sister start wanting to talk about first birthday party ideas, I want to start talking about which books I should read. ;) Story of my life. Anyway... There are about six million parenting books to stumble through, all of them seem to have mixed reviews, and it's sometimes hard to know which general parenting philosophies the author has based on summaries. For a little background, my favorite baby book was The Baby Book by Dr. Sears. We don't plan to stop bedsharing or breastfeeding any time soon, and we would generally describe ourselves as "AP." We know we don't want to spank, but that's about all we know. My little guy has been very intense and high needs since the day he was born. I'm reading Simplicity Parenting, and I like most of the material. I have to run out for an hour or two, but I really appreciate any recommendations. Thank you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jplain Posted February 15, 2011 Share Posted February 15, 2011 (edited) We'd describe our family similarly. I actually found the Sears discipline book annoying, though The Baby Book was a trusted friend. Here are the ones I liked best. Unconditional Parenting by Kohn (a must read) Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline by Bailey Playful Parenting by Cohen Raising Your Spirited Child by Kurcinka (or Kids, Parents, and Power Struggles by Kurcinka) Buddhism for Mothers by Napthali (not overly religious, mostly parenting philosophy) How to Talk So Kids Will Listen, and Listen So Kids Will Talk by Faber and Mazlish (or, if appropriate, Sibling Rivalry by Faber and Mazlish) My highest recs for the toddler/preschool years go to the Kohn (for parenting philosophy), Cohen (for strategies), and Napthali (for sanity) books. Edited February 15, 2011 by jplain Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie Posted February 15, 2011 Author Share Posted February 15, 2011 Thank you! I have a Boarders gift card to use before it becomes worthless, and I should be able to do that easily now. Does anyone have an opinion on the Parenting with Love and Logic books? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jplain Posted February 15, 2011 Share Posted February 15, 2011 (edited) I'm not a fan of Parenting with Love & Logic. In a nutshell, the positive techniques they use can be found elsewhere, and there are too many negatives mixed in for my taste. They've backed off of their spanking advice, but I still think their approach is not appropriate for younger children. I'm firmly of the opinion that redirection, hands-on parenting (being physically near to provide guidance, even when you'd rather be across the room or in the kitchen), and providing models of behavior are really all you need for the toddler/preschool set. I also find the tone of their writing and some of the examples they give to be a bit harsh/mean/sarcastic/adversarial. I don't need those attitudes in my parenting, so I'll stick with writers who express respect for children and their fallible parents. (Actually, I'll admit to using sarcasm, but only lovingly and jokingly. :D) With an older kid, I think Parenting with Love & Logic can provide useful material. But if you've already read Faber's, Mazlish's, and Kurcinka's books, you may find that Fay and Cline don't add anything you didn't already know. Edited February 15, 2011 by jplain Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melissel Posted February 15, 2011 Share Posted February 15, 2011 We'd describe our family similarly. I actually found the Sears discipline book annoying, though The Baby Book was a trusted friend. Here are the ones I liked best. Unconditional Parenting by Kohn (a must read) Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline by Bailey Playful Parenting by Cohen Raising Your Spirited Child by Kurcinka (or Kids, Parents, and Power Struggles by Kurcinka) Buddhism for Mothers by Napthali (not overly religious, mostly parenting philosophy) How to Talk So Kids Will Listen, and Listen So Kids Will Talk by Faber and Mazlish (or, if appropriate, Sibling Rivalry by Faber and Mazlish) My highest recs for the toddler/preschool years go to the Kohn (for parenting philosophy), Cohen (for strategies), and Napthali (for sanity) books. As another AP-oriented mama (though not a huge fan of Alfie Kohn), I give all the above a thumbs up, for the toddler years and above. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happypamama Posted February 15, 2011 Share Posted February 15, 2011 Kurcinka is great if you have a spirited child. Might I also recommend Clay Clarkson's Heartfelt Discipline? If you're not inclined to spank, he'll really help you form your discipline theory, especially if you're likely to encounter close friends/family who feel otherwise. (He's a little slim on the "do X when your child does Y" though.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted February 15, 2011 Share Posted February 15, 2011 I second the How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk suggestion. Good classic. If you're interested in an activities sort of book, I liked Slow and Steady Get Me Ready. It's older and I didn't "use" it like you're supposed to by doing certain activities with kids from birth almost like a curriculum of rolling over and discovering your toes, but after skimming through it, I found a lot of good simple ideas about interacting with my kids when they were 2 yos or so that I found really useful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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