Profanity

[Sophia]

When did profanity become an acceptable way of communicating?

 

I'm stunned by hearing that people want to hear profanity and not have it blocked out, and that it's ok for kids to sing it~albeit in private and only if it's part of a song.

 

The occasional epithet does escape my lips but I've always considered it a personal weakness to overcome. And singing swear words just seems...crass and juvenile.

 

Am I showing my age (46) and being a prude?

 

 

I think I'm in for it...:leaving:

[Kathleen in VA]

I'm in for it, too, Sophia, because I am equally mystified.

[Daisy]

When did profanity become an acceptable way of communicating?

 

I'm stunned by hearing that people want to hear profanity and not have it blocked out, and that it's ok for kids to sing it~albeit in private and only if it's part of a song.

 

The occasional epithet does escape my lips but I've always considered it a personal weakness to overcome. And singing swear words just seems...crass and juvenile.

 

Am I showing my age (46) and being a prude?

 

 

I think I'm in for it...:leaving:

 

Move over and make room for me right next to you.

 

I find it vulgar. What happened to, "If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all."

[regentrude]

I don't think the issue is that anyone wants to actually HEAR profanity.

I think the issue is rather the principle: how does anybody else get to decide what is offensive to me?

[KDoty]

I do think you're in for it here...but I am one who doesn't like it at all. I should, however, cut back on my watching tv anyway. I can't stand that music either. Hope people aren't too harsh. :)

[justamouse]

My 69 yo MIL drops the f bomb so much that her bird now says it. :D

 

I give her a lot of grace-she never did, but my FIL has been in hospice these past few weeks and it's been horrid-the nursing homes/hosp have been giving her quite the run around and as the stress levels rose, so did the f bombs.

 

It's an acceptable way to let off stress (not physically violent). It's increased, because as a country-our stress levels have increased. If things were puttering along, people had jobs, the youth had hope I'm betting you would hear its use decrease.

Edited February 14, 2011 by justamouse

[Barry Goldwater]

When did profanity become an acceptable way of communicating?

 

 

It's still not...and I'm younger than you! AND :iagree:

 

Usually it reveals a lack of imagination, a lack of class, a lack of respect for the hearer, a lack of creativity, as well as weak vocabulary skills.

 

Having said that, there are a select few that CAN employ profanity in a very witty, creative fashion (thinking Shakespeare, etc.). That doesn't make it appropriate for polite people.

 

FWIW, I was really going to pass this one by, but, what the heck...it's been a day or two since I've been blasted here :tongue_smilie:

[Kathleen in VA]

I'm not so much offended by it as saddened. It's just another sign of people getting dumber and dumber. I mean what does it say about you when your list of adjectives is limited to three words?

[Daisy]

I don't think the issue is that anyone wants to actually HEAR profanity.

I think the issue is rather the principle: how does anybody else get to decide what is offensive to me?

 

I think there are common standards of decency that most of are thankful for. I personally am very glad that people can't walk naked up and down the street. I'm glad the city assumed I'd be offended by that. I'm also pretty glad they assumed I'd be offended by my neighbor blocking my drive way or playing loud music at 1am.

 

There is balance in everything.

 

It used to be that the vast majority of people viewed the public usage of vulgar language unacceptable. I may be in the minority but I'd love to see it remain so.

Edited February 14, 2011 by Daisy

[Amy loves Bud]

 

Usually it reveals a lack of imagination, a lack of class, a lack of respect for the hearer, a lack of creativity, as well as weak vocabulary skills.

 

Having said that, there are a select few that CAN employ profanity in a very witty, creative fashion (thinking Shakespeare, etc.).

 

I agree. :) Normally I don't appreciate hearing it and don't understand the need for it to pepper every song or conversation in movie or tv. I would not go so far as to say I am offended by it, I just don't appreciate having to hear it.

 

However, it is occasionally used in a really witty fashion that it is so perfect for the situation, and in those cases the curser is typically imaginative, classy and respectful, and has an excellent command of English vocabulary.

[justamouse]

I think it's funny. I guess I just have a crass sense of humor. Oddly I myself very rarely swear.

 

 

heh-this is me.

[nmoira]

I'm stunned by hearing that people want to hear profanity and not have it blocked out, and that it's ok for kids to sing it~albeit in private and only if it's part of a song.

I'm not a child. If there's something I don't want to see or hear, I'm free to stop watching. So are you. Now, my kids are MY kids. They are permitted to use "bad" language (though they are encouraged to be creative, whether "good" or "bad"), but are also careful not to use it at inappropriate times and places.

 

I have a feeling that many around here would run out the room with their ears covered, chanting "La, la, la la," if they walked into the room while I was watching the final couple episodes of Peep Show last night (I can't believe I have to wait over a year for more). Me, I'm not feeling offended or morally compromised. :tongue_smilie:

[AlmiraGulch]

I don't think the issue is that anyone wants to actually HEAR profanity.

I think the issue is rather the principle: how does anybody else get to decide what is offensive to me?

 

I agree 100% with this.

[nmoira]

I don't think the issue is that anyone wants to actually HEAR profanity.

I think the issue is rather the principle: how does anybody else get to decide what is offensive to me?

:iagree:

[kamom]

I'm not so much offended by it as saddened. It's just another sign of people getting dumber and dumber. I mean what does it say about you when your list of adjectives is limited to three words?

 

:iagree:

[Pretty in Pink]

I'll admit it. I swear. :blush:

 

I don't swear in public. I don't swear when we have company over, or when I'm in church, or at the playground with my children. I am obviously able to control myself in certain situations.

 

I swear at home from time to time (more or less depending on who I'm speaking with). I swear when I drive. My kids have heard the F-bomb grace my lips quite a few times.

 

I'd like to believe that I do it because it's the way I grew up. It's a hard habit to break! If I get on the phone with my mother or my brother -- fuggitaboutit.

 

It's not a lack of education, vocabulary, or creativity on my part. At least, I'd like to believe that it's not. :D It's just one of those habits that dies hard. Really, really hard.

[Mrs Mungo]

It used to bother me a LOT when I was younger. I've loosened up a lot. It doesn't bother me so much unless they are extremely taboo words, the are racist/sexist or there is just way too much of it. I swear occasionally, but not among acquaintances.

 

One of the funniest things? We were at a party and one of the dads (who only had young kids) spelled out a curse word. Everyone stared at him and said "dude, her kids can SPELL!" It was hilarious. :lol:

[DarcyB]

I'm not so much offended by it as saddened. It's just another sign of people getting dumber and dumber. I mean what does it say about you when your list of adjectives is limited to three words?

 

That's how I feel about it.

 

Though I am offended when my Lord's name is taken in vain so easily...and not considered enough of a curse to block on a cable station, but other curses, which I find less offensive are blocked. But that's a personal offense that I don't really expect many other people to care about (cause, after all, it's just God lol).

 

But to listen to a lot of the kids in our neighborhood unable to come up with another adverb or adjective other than the f-word really is kind of sad LOL. They're smart kids..they could have some pretty colorful language if they tried!

[HRAAB]

I think there are common standards of decency that most of are thankful for. I personally am very glad that people can't walk naked up and down the street. I'm glad the city assumed I'd be offended by that. I'm also pretty glad they assumed I'd be offended by my neighbor blocking my drive way or playing loud music at 1am.

 

There is balance in everything.

 

It used to be that the vast majority of people viewed the public usage of vulgar language unacceptable. I may be in the minority but I'd love to see it remain so.

 

:iagree:

[justamouse]

Here's your answer

 

http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=why-do-we-swear

 

Why the #$%! Do We Swear? For Pain Relief

 

Dropping the F-bomb or other expletives may not only be an expression of agony, but also a means to alleviate it

By Frederik Joelving | July 12, 2009 | 103

 

 

Bad language could be good for you, a new study shows. For the first time, psychologists have found that swearing may serve an important function in relieving pain.

 

The study, published today in the journal NeuroReport, measured how long college students could keep their hands immersed in cold water. During the chilly exercise, they could repeat an expletive of their choice or chant a neutral word. When swearing, the 67 student volunteers reported less pain and on average endured about 40 seconds longer.

 

Although cursing is notoriously decried in the public debate, researchers are now beginning to question the idea that the phenomenon is all bad. "Swearing is such a common response to pain that there has to be an underlying reason why we do it," says psychologist Richard Stephens of Keele University in England, who led the study. And indeed, the findings point to one possible benefit: "I would advise people, if they hurt themselves, to swear," he adds.

 

 

Like I gave the example of my MIL-it's people in pain. And if you don't think society is in pain, then, well, I heartily disagree with you and I'll leave it at that.

 

To say it's lack of imagination is a lack of imagination.

[Mejane]

Well, sometimes it works in the context of what's going on. For instance, if I'm watching a police or gangland drama, I can't suspend my disbelief if a guy calls someone a "dirty, rat bunny" or yells, "Goshdarnit!"

 

Dh and I also curse when angry and at times for effect or humor. Our kids do the same and understand the nuance. We all manage to go out amongst other humans and behave ourselves properly. ;)

 

I'm stunned at people who seem, imo, fanatically concerned with shielding themselves and their kids from every curseword, even mild ones, to the point that they will refuse to read a great book or watch a fantastic movie because they might encounter one. Really, they're just words. Their only power lies in our reaction to them.

 

And now I'm in for it.

[BarbecueMom]

I don't swear and generally don't like to hear it spoken... but Robin Williams doing his stand-up bit on golf would not be nearly as funny without the profanity.

[keptwoman]

I'm stunned at people who seem, imo, fanatically concerned with shielding themselves and their kids from every curseword, even mild ones, to the point that they will refuse to read a great book or watch a fantastic movie because they might encounter one. Really, they're just words. Their only power lies in our reaction to them.

 

And now I'm in for it.

Not from me. Because :iagree:

[HRAAB]

Well, sometimes it works in the context of what's going on. For instance, if I'm watching a police or gangland drama, I can't suspend my disbelief if a guy calls someone a "dirty, rat bunny" or yells, "Goshdarnit!"

 

Dh and I also curse when angry and at times for effect or humor. Our kids do the same and understand the nuance. We all manage to go out amongst other humans and behave ourselves properly. ;)

 

I'm stunned at people who seem, imo, fanatically concerned with shielding themselves and their kids from every curseword, even mild ones, to the point that they will refuse to read a great book or watch a fantastic movie because they might encounter one. Really, they're just words. Their only power lies in our reaction to them.

 

And now I'm in for it.

 

Again, this might be me not having the same definition of profanity that others have. D**n, h**l, c**p are not unheard of around here. Lately, it's fat rat b******s that has escaped a few times. But what we term profanity isn't heard around here. But then somebody might think my h**l is a profanity. And that doesn't mean I want to hear even swearing all the time on TV. In context, and not overplayed, it's okay.

[Mrs Mungo]

I'm stunned at people who seem, imo, fanatically concerned with shielding themselves and their kids from every curseword, even mild ones, to the point that they will refuse to read a great book or watch a fantastic movie because they might encounter one. Really, they're just words. Their only power lies in our reaction to them.

 

Ultimately, I agree. Even though I understand why shows on the public airwaves are censored. I'm fine with both things. I'm just a walking contradiction, aren't I?

[DarcyB]

 

I'm stunned at people who seem, imo, fanatically concerned with shielding themselves and their kids from every curseword, even mild ones, to the point that they will refuse to read a great book or watch a fantastic movie because they might encounter one. Really, they're just words. Their only power lies in our reaction to them.

 

And now I'm in for it.

 

LOL - the only thing I'd disagree with here is because scripture says that life and death is in the power of the tongue..and while it is a reaction to control on your own to what you hear, some responsibility lies with those who speak it. But that's not a belief held by all, I get that.

 

I'm not saying I think swearing is bad, in and of itself. I think it's appropriate in some contexts and, darnit, sometimes a swear word just works better :D

 

(and thinking of King's Speech - a whole string of swearing that was definitely worth it :D)

 

Your passage also reminded me of my grandmother, who was no guiled lilly. She didn't swear around me, but my Dad says he'd been around her on a few occasions when she'd let it rip in anger.

 

Whenever we'd visit, when I was younger, we'd rent movies to watch after dinner sometimes. Invariably, if there was swearing in the first ten minutes of the movie, she'd make us turn it off (this was my whole family, not just kids). However, no amount of graphic violence (such as something like Rambo, etc), would make her turn off the movie, but drop an f-bomb or 2, and she was livid LOL

[nmoira]

 

I'm stunned at people who seem fanatically concerned with shielding themselves and their kids from every curseword, even mild ones, to the point that they will refuse to read a great book or watch a fantastic movie because they might encounter one. Really, they're just words. Their only power lies in our reaction to them.

I recall someone not wanting to read Little Britches with their kids because of this... and a thread about the shock from hearing "ass" (as in silly donkey) in Peter Pan or some like British classic. I never felt "out there" before coming here. :tongue_smilie:

[MIch elle]

dh curses when he gets mad and/or frustrated.

 

My boys learned it from dad! Now when older ds curses at his PS3 games, I tell dh, "Are you happy that you taught him to curse when angry and frustrated?"

 

I think it shows weakness to curse. But then again I tend to cry instead and people call that weak!

 

 

It's all gone TOO far! I'm embarrassed to watch TV with my teenagers!

[justamouse]

I don't swear and generally don't like to hear it spoken... but Robin Williams doing his stand-up bit on golf would not be nearly as funny without the profanity.

 

Or Chris Rock. :lol:

[TechWife]

When did profanity become an acceptable way of communicating?

 

I'm stunned by hearing that people want to hear profanity and not have it blocked out, and that it's ok for kids to sing it~albeit in private and only if it's part of a song.

 

The occasional epithet does escape my lips but I've always considered it a personal weakness to overcome. And singing swear words just seems...crass and juvenile.

 

Am I showing my age (46) and being a prude?

 

 

I think I'm in for it...:leaving:

:iagree: And for what it's worth, I don't think you are being a prude. You are being a mature adult.

[jplain]

I'm stunned by hearing that people want to hear profanity and not have it blocked out, and that it's ok for kids to sing it~albeit in private and only if it's part of a song.

As this is clearly a reference to my earlier post, I'll cut and paste my previous responses.

 

I'm sure I'm in the minority, but for some music, I prefer the profanity be left in. Pink's song F'ing Perfect has a genuinely positive message. She's using the F word for emphasis rather than to insult or denigrate. And I happen to like the message, so I used that song as an opportunity to talk to my kids about how words can mean different things in different contexts. Then I told them that they can sing that song as loud as they want in the car, but I don't want to hear them using the F word anywhere else. They were okay with that. :D

 

So, your dc are allowed to sing the "f" word in the car but not anywhere else?

Yep, as long as I don't believe the message of the music is inherently negative. They seem to be fine with that limit. I've never once heard them trying out profanity in everyday speech. I suspect that in their heads, profanity doesn't translate very well from singing to talking.

 

Neither DH or I swear, ever, except maybe me when I slam my hand in a door. But we both believe that words are just words, and there's nothing inherently wrong with any words. Words are just tools. It is how/when/why they're used that can be problematic, and we talk about that with our kids. We hope our attitude toward words will help defuse the power and allure of "bad" words.

 

On the other hand, while we're fairly casual about profanity in music, as long as the message of the music isn't negative, we're very particular about screen time. We don't allow them to watch video programming with casual use of profanity, or even schoolyard insults (stupid, idiot, etc.). In that case, it isn't the language, but the accompanying models of behavior that I object to. (Edited to add: I'm mostly referring to the 5yo here...the 7yo I don't worry about as much.)

Edited February 14, 2011 by jplain

[TechWife]

I don't swear and generally don't like to hear it spoken... but Robin Williams doing his stand-up bit on golf would not be nearly as funny without the profanity.

Actually, he's much funnier when he doesn't do profanity. He's a talented comedian, but one with no sense of decency. IMHO, of course.

[Sophia]

Having said that, there are a select few that CAN employ profanity in a very witty, creative fashion (thinking Shakespeare, etc.). That doesn't make it appropriate for polite people.

 

 

Ok.

I see your point here and agree.

A few other people have essentially said the same thing but I don't know how to multi-quote so...you know who you are ;)

 

I guess I'm not seeing Shakespeare and Cee Lo and various other artists in the same light.

[TechWife]

Usually it reveals a lack of imagination, a lack of class, a lack of respect for the hearer, a lack of creativity, as well as weak vocabulary skills.

 

 

Indeed.

[Barry Goldwater]

Ok.

 

I guess I'm not seeing Shakespeare and Cee Lo and various other artists in the same light.

 

Eminem ain't Shakespeare...:)

[Mrs Mungo]

Shakespeare was a lot more lewd in his own time than it is typically read now. There is only one friend of young Hal (Henry V) from Henry IV parts one and two who doesn't die by the end of Henry V. It was Pistol. He was the queen's favorite character. Part of the reason he was so popular is at the time his name sounded like p!ss.

 

You can say Eminem is no Shakespeare, but Shakespeare was just food for the masses at the time. There are Greek plays bemoaning the state of the younger generation. At one time Balzac couldn't be found on a decent library's shelf, and yet his works influenced *many* of the great modern writers.

 

eta: In short? This is the song that never it ends, it goes on and on my friends...

Edited February 14, 2011 by Mrs Mungo

[Karenciavo]

I am the daughter of a fisherman. I worked on fishing boats from age 12 to 19. I've heard sentences that contained more profanity than not. Never appreciated it, always saw it as a bad habit. 9 times out of 10 these people aren't cursing because they were in pain or telling jokes, it's how they communicate. I've observed the same thing on tv and in the movies. I don't see the need for it or the attraction. My father and brothers manage to control themselves in my presence, I'm thankful for that.

[simka2]

I've watched older movies and been blown away, by the amount of s*x and profanity (I can't remember specfically right now which ones...one was some Carribean adventure film).

 

I don't think it's anything new :glare:.

[Mrs Mungo]

I've watched older movies and been blown away, by the amount of s*x and profanity (I can't remember specfically right now which ones...one was some Carribean adventure film).

 

I don't think it's anything new :glare:.

 

I agree that some old movies are quite racy. Some of Bob Hope's movies are FULL of racy double entendres, for example.

[Barry Goldwater]

I am the daughter of a fisherman. I worked on fishing boats from age 12 to 19. I've heard sentences that contained more profanity than not. Never appreciated it, always saw it as a bad habit. 9 times out of 10 these people aren't cursing because they were in pain or telling jokes, it's how they communicate. I've observed the same thing on tv and in the movies. I don't see the need for it or the attraction. My father and brothers manage to control themselves in my presence, I'm thankful for that.

 

:iagree: and I worked for 10 years in steel mills, forging plants, and automobile manufacturers...relieved I don't anymore...it was enough already.

[simka2]

Shakespeare was a lot more lewd in his own time than it is typically read now. There is one friend of young Hal (Henry V) from Henry IV parts one and two who doesn't die by the end of Henry V. It was Pistol. He was the queen's favorite character. Part of the reason he was so popular is at the time his name sounded like p!ss.

 

You can say Eminem is no Shakespeare, but Shakespeare was just food for the masses at the time. There are Greek plays bemoaning the state of the younger generation. At one time Balzac couldn't be found on a decent library's shelf, and yet his works influenced *many* of the great modern writers.

 

eta: In short? This is the song that never it ends, it goes on and on my friends...

 

:iagree:I toured some 1st century italian ruins once. When we went into the sitting room off the main entrance there was a statue of a man with an erect p*enis as large as his body. Yeah, it's not new.

[Karenciavo]

I've watched older movies and been blown away, by the amount of s*x and profanity (I can't remember specfically right now which ones...one was some Carribean adventure film).

 

I don't think it's anything new :glare:.

 

I guess it depends on what you consider old. The Godfather is almost 40 years old.

[Mejane]

I worked for 10 years in steel mills, forging plants, and automobile manufacturers...relieved I don't anymore...it was enough already.

 

I can't imagine cursing being the worst part of any of the aforementioned jobs. Lobsterman, coal miner... curse away, boys, if it helps!

[simka2]

I guess it depends on what you consider old. The Godfather is almost 40 years old.

 

These were pre-godfather.

[Mrs Mungo]

:iagree:I toured some 1st century italian ruins once. When we went into the sitting room off the main entrance there was a statue of a man with an erect p*enis as large as his body. Yeah, it's not new.

 

There is an essay about Pompeii called "Phallustown," LOL! It was a good luck symbol to the Romans. They are EVERYWHERE in Roman art. When we went to Pompeii I told my sister I would buy the birdbirth with the thigh-sized penis sticking out of it for our mom if my sister would take it home on the plane with her. :lol:

[hillfarm]

This is a hard issue. I have a dear aunt who could make a sailor blush with her vocabulary (no offense to sailors). She is also incredibly kind and would back me up as Mama Bear II if anyone tried to harm my child. I love her just the way she is. Weak vocabulary, lack of class, and other shortcomings don't change that.

 

I do find it offensive when people use the name of my God in vain.

 

I don't use most so-called bad words very often, although hitting my thumb with a hammer may elicit a colorful yelp. While I consider vulgar those words that generally describe human bodily functions or general expressions of extreme distaste, dislike or surprise, I don't get all that excited about hearing them or about my dd hearing them. She knows that they are not appropriate for her to use.

 

I once had a 4H mother complain because her son told her X was using bad words after the meeting. She was irrate. I told her that while I hated to ask her, I needed her to give me an idea of what it was because I knew his mother would want to know when I talked to her. The complainer came back to the phone after a minute and sounded abruptly contrite. Apparently not such horrible words after all. X had called someone a dumb butt, stupid and butt head. Offensive and inappropriate, sure. A swear word, no. I guess it depends upon the ear of the hearer.

[DianeW88]

There is an essay about Pompeii called "Phallustown," LOL! It was a good luck symbol to the Romans. They are EVERYWHERE in Roman art. When we went to Pompeii I told my sister I would buy the birdbirth with the thigh-sized penis sticking out of it for our mom if my sister would take it home on the plane with her. :lol:

 

Thigh-sized??? :blink:

[simka2]

There is an essay about Pompeii called "Phallustown," LOL! It was a good luck symbol to the Romans. They are EVERYWHERE in Roman art. When we went to Pompeii I told my sister I would buy the birdbirth with the thigh-sized penis sticking out of it for our mom if my sister would take it home on the plane with her. :lol:

 

The real irony is that we visited as part of a "Church History" tour with a group from our VERY LEGALISTIC Seminary. Yup! That was exciting :w00t:!!! Let's just say that some of the Profs were ummmm....:svengo:

[BarbecueMom]

Actually, he's much funnier when he doesn't do profanity. He's a talented comedian, but one with no sense of decency. IMHO, of course.

 

If one is appalled by the profanity, a joke about a bunch of drunken Scots coming up with the rules of golf isn't going to be all that funny, with or without the swearing.

[Karenciavo]

The real irony is that we visited as part of a "Church History" tour with a group from our VERY LEGALISTIC Seminary. Yup! That was exciting :w00t:!!! Let's just say that some of the Profs were ummmm....:svengo:

 

Is your husband a pastor? If so does he deliver sermons laced with profanities? If not, why not?