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Attention moms of MULTIPLES


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When my twins attended first grade they were allowed to be in the same class. I was very happy about that as they were not ready to be separated. The policy at the school was that twins had to be separated in third grade. The school thought by then they would be old enough to handle it, and it would be a good age to encourage individual growth.

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Echoing ask the mom. Definitely ask the mom.

 

There are many differing reasons and circumstances for twins to be together or separated. Only mom can know the dynamics. For my own, there are times I want them together and times I want them separate. Their best benefit comes differently based on the situation.

 

If it were my kids, I would want to know whether or not they might be able to meet up at recess or lunch. Half day or full day for K?

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I would leave it up to the mom. My twins (identical) were in the same class for preschool, kindergarten, and 1st- in my state it is up to the parent. I have other friends who separate their twins and they are happy with their choice to do it that way as well. I will say that most of the moms of multiples I know from our club keep them together at least through kindergarten. I chose to keep mine together for preK-1st, but if they had been in school past 1st grade I would have left the choice up to the girls for each year after 1st grade.

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So I have these twins in my preschool class... boy/girl... no other siblings...premies so they have been a bit behind in motor skills (but are catching up quickly!). In August they will enter kindergarten. We have 2 kindy classes.

 

Should I split them into different classes or keep them together in one?

 

 

What do the parents want????

 

For my twins... I kept them together (boy/girl) through kindergarten. For us it was mainly because the elementary school they were to attend, was still being built and the building didn't open until January. Since kindy classes were placed in a middle school gym for the first half of the school year, I kept my twins together. Then in 1st grade they were split up.

 

But I would have kept them together for kindy anyway. Just seemed to make sense for their first year in elementary school. Also, they weren't overly dependent upon each other. It just made going to kindy less stressful. But we weren't homeschooling back then either (well, still only homeschool for high school so far).

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When I was growing up, the common thought was to separate so they develop their own individuality. That's not the case anymore. Quite often, now they can be kept together, where they often do not feel as isolated, alone, and therefore have more confidence with their twin near them. However, that's not the case with all twins, and probably less so with boy/girl twins, but it depends on their personalities and relationship. If one hinders the other significantly, it can seem like a good idea to separate them. Of course, this can backfire and have the quiet twin pull even further into his or herself. Twin dynamics vary as much as any family situation.

 

For younger years, I am a fan of keeping them together unless there is a reason to separate. Mine only went to preschool and kindergarten before homeschool, but they were kept together. As they mature, they will naturally start to separate from different interests, middle and high school class schedules, etc.

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My husband's a twin and I just asked him what he thought (from a twins point of view) of being in the same class. He said being separated bothered him for the first week in kindergarden, but after that it didn't make much of a difference.

 

I imagine it would have made a big difference for the teacher though, because I've heard quite a few stories about how they were terrors when they were together!

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I would be honest with your experience and tell the parents your preference, but give them the final decision. You can also use this for the opportunity to say

 

"Our standard policy is that multiples go into different classes, but some families have a strong opinion that they should remain together. If you family prefers this, I am willing to have a conversation about it and consider your families needs while taking the school's policy into consideration. Please realize that the final decision will be mine and if you choose to have the students in the same room, and it becomes a problem in the future, one of them may be moved to another classroom."

 

This allows the parent to be heard, but still keeps you in control of the situation. It also sets a precedent for future children, that you can uphold for any family/situation that arises.

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As I am not a twin and do not have twins I don't have a true concept of what "splitting them up" before they are ready might do to them emotionally. In all my years working in public schools, twins were always separated as the school thought that would be "best" for the twins. But it always kind of bugged me that the parents did not get a vote. Now that I am here and I have more options it seems natural that parents should be the ones to make the decision but I thought I should check with those who have experience in this.

 

Thank you to all you twins and mothers of twins for your input!!!

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There's a very easy answer to that one. Ask the parents what they want, and they will let you know. I have twins in PS, and they ALWAYS call and ask me if I want them together or separate. (We keep them together...)

 

For Kindergarten, they are so small, I would think it would be better for them to be together, but the parents should have an opinion on this.

 

Okra

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