Godzilla, my 14 month old ds... HELP!

[Manhattan_Mom]

BTDT mothers please tell me this too shall pass.

 

My almost 3 year old ds love snuggling with Mom to read books (right now he's super into Abe Lincoln and frontier life) and his train set and pretending an old utensil organizer is a bakery -- he's just at a great place right now.

 

His little brother worships him. Anything big brother does, little brother MUST do, except at 14 months old, he can't do much (sit still for a story beyond board books, do train track construction play, etc.)

 

Soooo little ds gets into the mix of whatever big ds is doing but (rips a book page, topples a tower, disrupts train service, etc.) then big ds pushes him away and they get into a dust-up.

 

On the one hand, I do not tolerate violence one bit and big ds get's a time out for hitting/rough housing etc. On the other hand, I feel his pain and just am at my wits end about how to manage them.

 

I've tried getting little ds-only toys (e.g. duplo blocks) but he wants nothing to do with baby stuff. He just wants to be part of whatever big ds is doing.

 

HELP. HELP. HELP!

 

Words of wisdom?

[Parrothead]

You are probably going to have to get on the floor with him. When you can't directly supervise a play pen with his own toys might come in handy. The other option would be for older to play in his room or in a separate toy room while younger is with you.

[Aubrey]

Mine just had to be taught how to play together. At 3, my oldest LOVED making block towers for #2 to knock over. The problem? When he *didn't* want them knocked over, he got mad.

 

It's a great opportunity to teach *both* kids to think of others, be patient, find joy in siblings. The latter is a skill, & once it's taught, it's possibly the finest gift in life. After all, once we're gone, what do our kids have? Each other.

[AK_Mom4]

[/quote=Parrothead;2428267]You are probably going to have to get on the floor with him. When you can't directly supervise a play pen with his own toys might come in handy. /QUOTE]

 

Nope - this is backwards! Put the 3yo in the playpen with his toys to keep them safe from Monster Baby. We actually ended up building a barricade of baby gates across one corner of the room to keep my very determined dd from destroying every toy her brother had.

 

Having some alone time made it much easier for big brother to play nicely the rest of the time.

Edited February 14, 2011 by AK_Mom4

[Parrothead]

[\QUOTE=Parrothead;2428267]You are probably going to have to get on the floor with him. When you can't directly supervise a play pen with his own toys might come in handy. \QUOTE]

 

Nope - this is backwards! Put the 3yo in the playpen with his toys to keep them safe from Monster Baby. We actually ended up building a barricade of baby gates across one corner of the room to keep my very determined dd from destroying every toy her brother had.

In this case I would suggest a more sturdy "floor" be made for Olders trains and blocks. A piece of 1/4 inch plywood or MDF cut to size would do the trick.

[msk]

We were able to find a baby gate that my older daughter (almost 4 when we bought it) could open, and my younger (now 14 months) still can't open. It has a latch at the top that requires more thumb strength than the little one has. We bought it to keep the baby away from the choking hazard toys in her big sister's room, but it also provides a place to escape to for some big kid time. As others mentioned, having her own space available seems to make it easier for her to be nice to the baby the rest of the time.

[Manhattan_Mom]

Thanks all.

[Murphy101]

My youngers are removed for being disruptive. It is just as mean to rip books and knock things over as it is for older ds to shove him for it.

 

I would simply repeat ad nautsem:

 

Play nice

Play softly

Instant removal for ripping, knocking down.. So forth.

Distract with something else

Repeat probably every few minutes for what at the time seems like your entire life, but eventually you will find you have an 18 month old that MOSTLY understands they can't play unless they do it nicely.;)

 

At 14 months, they usually know what no means and they are starting to learn that even tho they are just too cute, they aren't so cute that anyone appreciates them tearing things up or being mean.

[AuntieM]

When my oldest was near three and I had twins, we called them the crawling babyzillas. They would destroy and attempt to eat every little people town scenario the older created. He would get so upset! It really wasn't fair to him. So, I started gating him into his room in the afternoons, and he loved the private space. When he was ready to let the little critters in on the action he called me to open the gate and "let the destruction begin!" In the proper timing, it became part of the fun.

 

Your challenge is to keep little brother either napping or otherwise occupied during big brother's quiet play time. Before you know it, this stage will pass as little man gets older. I like what another poster said about getting down with them and modeling proper play manners. That will be more useful to you in a few months (jmho).