How do you handle it with a brand new friend. . .

[Alicia64]

when she wants to sell you something like Amway? It's not Amway and it's not jewelery. But it's something pricey that I don't have the money for.

 

I've been invited to something where she said she'll talk for some time.

 

I don't know what to say.

 

Alley

[Jane in NC]

Friend? Hmmm....I question whether she truly is a "friend".

 

"No, thank you" is a fine response.

[Jen500]

If it's a brand new friend, I wouldn't really consider her a friend and I'd just move on.

[Tap]

I just tell them I am not interested. I also tell them that I don't go to and presentations by anyone, so to please not take it personally....Pampered Chef, Party Lite, Usborne, Amway, Advocare, Rainbow Vac.....all the same, I tell them all 'no, thankyou'.

[regentrude]

 

I don't know what to say.

 

 

"No, Thank you".

[Starr]

I just tell them I am not interested. I also tell them that I don't go to and presentations by anyone, so to please not take it personally....Pampered Chef, Party Lite, Usborne, Amway, Advocare, Rainbow Vac.....all the same, I tell them all 'no, thankyou'.

 

:iagree:

[Night Elf]

If she doesn't take 'no' for an answer, I'd stop hanging out with her. I'd screen my calls and if I had to talk with her, I'd keep it short and cordial. Who needs friends like that??

[Guest RecumbentHeart]

"No, Thank you".

 

 

This. :) Without feeling remotely bad or awkward. :)

[Gooblink]

I just tell them I am not interested. I also tell them that I don't go to and presentations by anyone, so to please not take it personally....Pampered Chef, Party Lite, Usborne, Amway, Advocare, Rainbow Vac.....all the same, I tell them all 'no, thankyou'.

 

:iagree::iagree: Just say no. If she pushes, she's not really interested in "friendship."

[Lainey]

I just tell them I am not interested. I also tell them that I don't go to and presentations by anyone, so to please not take it personally....Pampered Chef, Party Lite, Usborne, Amway, Advocare, Rainbow Vac.....all the same, I tell them all 'no, thankyou'.

 

:iagree:

[meena]

Maybe it's just because I was raised in the '80s, but I think I'd have to "Just Say No!" :tongue_smilie:

 

Then, if she still wanted to be friends, I would hang out and talk at a later time--minus the business spiel.

[secular_mom]

I've known quite a few people who sold things via parties and such, and they went out of their way to 'make friends' with people who they thought might be interested in the products they were selling.

If the topic is brought up every time you talk to this person, I'd question his/her intentions. I would say, "I'm just not interested in buying anything from you and even if I was it isn't in our budget so please don't ask me to attend any parties/presentations or ask me to buy anything again."

[simka2]

I'm a bit generous with these types as my sister in-law had to sell candles for awhile.

 

I will offer to host a "low key" party for them. Then I get product, or reduced product...and I get the chance to get my friends together. I also, tell everyone I invite that there is NO PRESSURE from to buy anything they cannot afford!!!

 

I've had a lot of fun at these little get togethers :D

[Alicia64]

I couldn't agree w/ you all more.

 

I meant "friend" somewhat sarcastically. Sigh.

 

We live very near each other and will run into each other. So I'm trying to figure out how to say it as friendly as possible.

 

Alley

[NicksMama-Zack's Mama Too]

I just tell them I am not interested. I also tell them that I don't go to and presentations by anyone, so to please not take it personally....Pampered Chef, Party Lite, Usborne, Amway, Advocare, Rainbow Vac.....all the same, I tell them all 'no, thankyou'.

 

I've been through this with both long-term friends and new ones. I tell them that I don't buy much stuff (I live a pretty minimalist life) and they don't ask me twice. I say the same thing about school fundraisers.

 

I also had a homeschooling friend that was big into co-ops and I told her that I don't do co-ops. I had to repeat myself a couple of times before she realized I was serious.

 

Keep in mind that I don't have that many friends! I tend to run them off with my straightforwardness.:lol:

 

K

 

K

[blakereese]

I couldn't agree w/ you all more.

 

I meant "friend" somewhat sarcastically. Sigh.

 

We live very near each other and will run into each other. So I'm trying to figure out how to say it as friendly as possible.

 

Alley

 

Just SMILE REALLY BIG while saying NO! ;)

 

I totally know the type, have one after me to have a "party". Oh, and yeh, "let's be friends"! :glare:

[simka2]

I couldn't agree w/ you all more.

 

I meant "friend" somewhat sarcastically. Sigh.

 

We live very near each other and will run into each other. So I'm trying to figure out how to say it as friendly as possible.

 

Alley

 

Okay, this changes my answer :D. Then I say, "Sorry, no thank you! and I will let YOU know if I am ever interested."

[Anita in NC]

Just say, "No thanks, it's not my thing."

[Night Elf]

We live very near each other and will run into each other. So I'm trying to figure out how to say it as friendly as possible.

 

Alley

 

Sometimes it's not possible to be gentle. She may take a timid "no" as you really saying, 'Oh I don't think I'm interested but perhaps I could be persuaded if you kept on talking about it."

 

Tell her No, thank you. If she asks why, say "I'm just not interested in [product name]." If she asks why, you say, "I'm sorry you're bothered by my answer but really, I'm just not interested in [product name]." If she continues asking why, end the conversation and leave. Really. Don't worry about hurting her feelings because she is obviously not worried about yours.

[RoughCollie]

I just tell them I am not interested. I also tell them that I don't go to and presentations by anyone, so to please not take it personally....Pampered Chef, Party Lite, Usborne, Amway, Advocare, Rainbow Vac.....all the same, I tell them all 'no, thankyou'.

 

This is what I say. I never deviate from that stance.

[Sue G in PA]

I just say no thank you. I don't have any disposable income and parties like that are too tempting for me. :D

[Guest RecumbentHeart]

Just SMILE REALLY BIG while saying NO! ;)

 

 

 

This works great. :D I totally used this approach when I called up to cancel a free trial with a credit monitoring company today. Even acted like I really appreciated their offer to halve the first month's fee if I stayed. Ended up being a pleasant experience. :D

[gardening momma]

I'm a bit generous with these types as my sister in-law had to sell candles for awhile.

 

I will offer to host a "low key" party for them. Then I get product, or reduced product...and I get the chance to get my friends together. I also, tell everyone I invite that there is NO PRESSURE from to buy anything they cannot afford!!!

 

I've had a lot of fun at these little get togethers :D

Everyone says there's "no pressure" to buy, but that's what the party is for. I don't have any hard feelings against someone who wants me to come to their party so they can get hostess rewards. I try to only go to the party if I can buy something. I have hosted these kind of parties, and it's very disappointing when you don't have much sales.

 

So to your friend, I would say, "I only go to these kind of parties if I can afford to buy something. I can't buy anything right now, so I can't go. I know there's "no pressure" to buy, but I just don't go if I can't spend anything. Thanks for asking me. Let me know the next time you have a home party. I may be able to go then."

 

ETA: some of these parties really do have things I'm interested in, but just can't afford now. So I am sincere when I tell someone to ask me again another time (at least if it's a product I'm interested in. If it's not, I'll mention another one I would like to go to, if she or a friend of hers ever hosts such a party).

Edited February 12, 2011 by gardening momma

[kalanamak]

I've known quite a few people who sold things via parties and such, and they went out of their way to 'make friends' with people who they thought might be interested in the products they were selling.

If the topic is brought up every time you talk to this person, I'd question his/her intentions.

 

Yup, this is common, and they are oh, so friendly. Say no. Don't expect much from the friendship (if you get something, great, if she dumps you ... par for the course.)

[Mommyof4ks]

I agree, just say no if you are not interested. Be polite, she is just trying to see if you are interested in what she sells. I ask my friends once if they are interested, and if the say no then that is the end of that. They will come to me if they change their mind.

[NoPlaceLikeHome]

Friend? Hmmm....I question whether she truly is a "friend".

 

"No, thank you" is a fine response.

 

:iagree:

[Susan in KY]

"I don't do those parties." Rinse, repeat.

 

Works for me every time.

[SonshineLearner]

I'd love to come listen, if you'd like... and you want the practice, but we have a tight budget, and I won't be able to purchase anything :)

[nd293]

"Thanks so much for the invite, but it's our family policy not to attend unsolicitated product demonstrations or talks. I'm glad to know you sell ................ . I'll research the products on the Internet, and if I want anything, I'll let you know."

 

We have been burnt making a purchase of something where the seller approached us, and I've just turned down a "free" carpet clean which I had "won" in a "promotion" when I realised that they were actually not a carpet cleaning company making their name known, but a company selling carpet cleaning machines - "free" meant "watch our demonstration".

 

The above is now my official policy - I'll take a pamphlet, and add the product to my research list, but I won't listen to product sales pitches.

 

Nikki

[NanceXToo]

I've been known to say things like:

 

"Ah, I'll pass, that isn't really my thing."

 

Or

 

"I'll have to skip that this time around, I don't really have the money for it right now."

[angela in ohio]

Half of the homeschooling population here seems to sell something. I have to say no often.

 

If the first "No" doesn't work, my standard line is: "I'm sorry, we don't buy items from MLMs."

 

That's what I say, politely but firmly. I refuse to get into it, I just repeat that.

[Alicia64]

Thank you, Everyone.

 

It's just so danged awkward. The "friend" thing is what makes it hard.

 

I'm such a dope and when she said, "hey, let's hang out," I was like, "great."

Within moments she was telling me about this product.

 

Don't these people realize how obvious this approach is??

 

I wish it were something like Avon or candles -- something I actually use. It's not something I use and it's very expensive.

 

Alley

[Laurie4b]

I just say that I'm on a budget and I don't do shopping parties. It's fine. Really.

[Alphabetika]

I just tell them I am not interested. I also tell them that I don't go to and presentations by anyone, so to please not take it personally....Pampered Chef, Party Lite, Usborne, Amway, Advocare, Rainbow Vac.....all the same, I tell them all 'no, thankyou'.

 

 

:iagree:Just make it a rule in your life not to attend these things. Then it's easier to say no without making it seem personal.

[kalanamak]

 

Don't these people realize how obvious this approach is??

 

 

I dealt with this with a close friend's daughter. I told myself that if my son ever got going in a MLM thing and talked to like that I was going to say:

 

A great salesman wants the customer to be happy.

A good salesman just wants a buck, but it doesn't show.

A bad salesman just wants a buck, and you can see this 10 miles away.

[Alicia64]

A great salesman wants the customer to be happy.

A good salesman just wants a buck, but it doesn't show.

A bad salesman just wants a buck, and you can see this 10 miles away.

 

This is great!

 

I hate to sound like a broken record -- I'm sure I do -- but it's just so awkward because we live close to each other. And our kids play.

 

Thanks again!

 

Alley

[gardening momma]

If you can't remember these, the really short one that works is, "I'm sorry, but it just won't be possible."

With a phone solicitor, I say, "Is it free?" "I'll take it if it's free." "Send it to me if it's free." "Can you lower the price--down to free?"

 

They give up. :D

[milovany]

1. Thank you for inviting me. I don't like to attend business-related parties, but it would be nice to get to know you over coffee sometime. Why don't you give me a call when your schedule opens up?

 

<quietly taking the UL samples and catalogs out of the suitcase I packed for the beach trip, and putting them back on the shelf.>

 

:D

[MaMa2005]

I just tell them I am not interested. I also tell them that I don't go to and presentations by anyone, so to please not take it personally....Pampered Chef, Party Lite, Usborne, Amway, Advocare, Rainbow Vac.....all the same, I tell them all 'no, thankyou'.

 

:iagree:

[Chris in VA]

I sold Discovery Toys for a couple of seasons, and I have to say

DON'T tell them you don't have money, because MLM folks are taught to handle this objection.

DON'T tell them you will come to listen, unless you can handle seeing tempting items that the seller will tell you how to earn for free.

DON'T tell them that you can't right now.

 

All these objections can be talked around--so, the best answer is,

NO THANKS< I'M NOT INTERESTED. Deliver it flatly. Look her right in the eye, and mean it.

If it doesn't work, say,

NO THANKS< I'M NOT INTERESTED.

 

(my public service for the day)

[Alicia64]

Thanks, Chris! Glad to hear from someone who has "been there." Ha, ha! I did do all of those things. But in truth, I'm interested to see how she'll handle it.

 

These words politely say, "no thank you." If she continues to push, well. . . that tells me something about our "friendship." And I won't have any problem saying. . . well, you know what I'll say.

 

I believe that if you have a good product, you don't need to do these hard sells.

 

Thanks again!

 

Alley

[Guest tish4rob]

Alley, you should go and listen to her. You never know what could amazing things your friend could bring to your life. You can always tell them you're not interested but at least here them out. It's your friend. Even if it's an acquaintance, we don't know everything and we could always use a clue on what's out there even if it's not for us. Hear your friend out and then decide! I hope this helps and you make the right choice.

[Veritaserum]

Thanks, Chris! Glad to hear from someone who has "been there." Ha, ha! I did do all of those things. But in truth, I'm interested to see how she'll handle it.

 

These words politely say, "no thank you." If she continues to push, well. . . that tells me something about our "friendship." And I won't have any problem saying. . . well, you know what I'll say.

 

I believe that if you have a good product, you don't need to do these hard sells.

 

Thanks again!

 

Alley

 

Yeah, I've got a "just say no" policy to selling parties. If I want one of the products, I know who I can contact. I detest the pressure to buy something (it's there, even if someone says it's "no pressure"). I generally avoid buying products from MLM companies.

[Aubrey]

"No, Thank you".

 

As long as she takes no for an answer, I don't see a problem. :001_smile:

[kalanamak]

Alley, you should go and listen to her. You never know what could amazing things your friend could bring to your life. You can always tell them you're not interested but at least here them out. It's your friend. Even if it's an acquaintance, we don't know everything and we could always use a clue on what's out there even if it's not for us. Hear your friend out and then decide! I hope this helps and you make the right choice.

 

Welcome to the boards! And friendly greetings to your first post, even though I disagree wholeheartedly with this. Most HS moms are busy. Plus, IME, once you leave out a crumb of hope, they persist for much, much longer in trying to "sell" you.

[milovany]

I detest the pressure to buy something (it's there, even if someone says it's "no pressure"). I generally avoid buying products from MLM companies.

 

Okay, so I see this all differently (obviously, since I sell something, LOL). I really do tell people "no pressure" and I mean it when I say it. From my perspective, I'm providing a product that they may be interested in buying and if they ARE going to buy in some form or fashion anyway why not buy it from a local person, or a friend, or the friend of a friend, or one of your kid's friend's moms, etc. instead of from a nameless website or chain store? Why not get great personal customer service and a good product at a competitive price (if comparing quality), while also helping this local person earn an income and that friend/family member/acquaintance get some free stuff too? Why not enjoy a night out? (Buy if you want, don't if you don't want!) I really don't care if people buy or not; but I do appreciate the opportunity to present what I sell.

 

I realize many people have had bad experiences at parties. I never have, so that's why I had no problem going into what I'm doing (nor defending this avenue of earning an income). I also enjoy going to the parties of friends, and I usually try to buy something, but am not always able to. I've also been asked to look at certain types of direct selling, a type which doesn't appeal to me, and after I've checked it out with an open mind, have said the infamous "No, thank you."

 

OP, if you're not interested in going, just say "No, thank you." It shouldn't be a problem. If you think you could help a friend out, either by buying something or by just going to the party, then do that. It's your call.

 

ETA - Re-reading, I think my answer might be more general, when it sounds like the OP is having more pressure placed on her than I would feel comfortable putting on someone.

Edited February 12, 2011 by milovaný

[tex-mex]

If it's a brand new friend, I wouldn't really consider her a friend and I'd just move on.

:iagree:

[tex-mex]

Alley, you should go and listen to her. You never know what could amazing things your friend could bring to your life. You can always tell them you're not interested but at least here them out. It's your friend. Even if it's an acquaintance, we don't know everything and we could always use a clue on what's out there even if it's not for us. Hear your friend out and then decide! I hope this helps and you make the right choice.

Sorry, but I wholeheartedly disagree. I simply do not have time to go here and there based on someone I barely know and sit through a marketing pitch that I am not interested in. I homeschool and it takes up a great chunk of my time. (BTW... welcome! You'll be joining a group with many opinions. LOL :D)

[Ginevra]

I don't do the sales parties type of things (although I have to confess, oddly I went to an Usborne and a Pampered Chef party on consecutive Saturdays in Jan, but that was a COMPLETE anomaly). I have had to say no to wonderful friends whom I love with all of my heart. Most demonstrated goods are far more expensive than their ordinary counterparts that you could get at Target, Michaels, etc.

 

I totally disagree with inviting people and then telling them there is no pressure to buy, because the entire concept is pressure to buy or turn the attendees into hosts themselves. I once sold Tupperware and I know the many tricks. When you fill out a card for a "door prize," you're just giving the demonstrator someone else they can bug for holding a party. When you fill out a "wish list," you're informing the demonstrator what the entry point is, your weakness, the item that will bring in another party. When the demonstrator shows you how a product works, she's trying to create in your mind the image of you using that product for whatever benefit it's supposed to confer: you will have more time, you will have a spa-like experience at home, you will be able to entertain friends because you own this gizmo, you will be able to make a cake in your microwave - see how simple? You'll be able to get dinner on the table in 22 minutes, your children will develop better eye-hand coordination, your carpet will be clean with barely any effort. The demonstrations and talks are meant to create that image in your mind, because it has to go there first before you'll put it on the order form.

 

I remember one time I was at a candle party and they were selling a huge, expensive candle-chandelier that one could hang from the ceiling. The demonstrator showed how you could hang this over your bathtub and have this amazing, relaxing soak in the tub with the wonderful candlelight glowing and I thought - HAH!!! :smilielol5: I can't even have an entire potty break without someone ferreting me out.

 

It's better to say no. New friend, old friend; no diff. My dh has a long-time friend who's been pecking on us about his MLM thingy he's into and it's a pain, I know. MLM and home-parties are the scourge of our affluent society. I wish they would evaporate.

[Anne]

I just tell them I am not interested. I also tell them that I don't go to and presentations by anyone, so to please not take it personally....Pampered Chef, Party Lite, Usborne, Amway, Advocare, Rainbow Vac.....all the same, I tell them all 'no, thankyou'.

 

This.

 

One of my dearest friends started selling something and she wanted me to have a party. I told her that I don't "do" parties - I don't have them, I don't attend them - never.

 

It worked out... :D

 

Anne