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How Crazy Am I?


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DH is Turkish. His whole family (except for his mom) is in Turkey. We have a place from when we lived there when DD was an infant. I really like Turkey, but have never tried to live there all by my sweet lonesome. My Turkish is passable, but no one ever mistakes me for a native once I open my mouth.

 

MIL proposed that DD and I spend 6-8 weeks in Turkey this summer. DH would accompany us over, spend a week or so visiting family and getting us set up, and then come back to the US since he has to work. DD and I would stay in our place, with relatives nearby. DD would attend daycare/preschool in the neighborhood, immersing her in the culture and language. I would have a housekeeper and would get a break. It's hard for me to define the school she'd attend. I'd call it straight preschool if it was during the school year, but in the summer it might be more of a daycare situation, or a summer day camp. The point is to increase her language skills and immerse her in the culture.

 

Four years ago I would have said no way - I would have been too scared. But today I thought "why not?". I lived a year there, with DH. Surely I can manage a summer by myself. I do have family that could help if I got stuck. My FIL is there - doesn't speak English, but understands a lot more than he lets on. Other family would be nearby - about a hour away - and does speak fluent English.

 

Am I nuts?

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No, definitely not nuts! Do you have a plan for how you would make friends, or are you OK with your own company and only casual contact with other adults (shopkeepers, housekeeper etc)? Or are your family close enough to fill that need?

 

I think it would be an amazing experience. (I have "started over" in two countries, although as an expat/immigrant and do have some inkling of the challenges. I still think it's a fantastic idea.)

 

Nikki

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I think it would be something hard to say no to! Freedom to explore dh's culture with dd, while not having to worry about housekeeping? Yes, you will miss dh immensely, and so will your dd. Will you have the ability to Skype? That might help with some of the "homesickness." Also, will your housekeeper be someone who could share some cooking skills/recipes with you?

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Sounds like a great opportunity for you and dd. My cousin does this every 3-4 years. Her dh is from Macedonia. It gives the family time with their children and her dh flies over to spend time with them and see his family with as much vacation time as he can get from work.

If 2 months is too long away from your dh you can always shorten the time, but I think it is still worth pursuing.

Let us know what you decide! :)

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Has your dd ever been in daycare? Would you be comfortable leaving her all day in that situation, in another culture and language. Will you be able to communicate well enough to really know how her days go? The daycare part would be my own concern but they do learn the language quickly.

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Thanks everyone!

 

The daycare part does kinda freak me out - not the language - the whole point is to immerse her and I know that will be hard for the first part. I would probably check in on her more than the average mom. It would be walking distance to our place so I could drop in and check in on her. She attends Montessori 5 mornings a week already (and will move up to full days next school year most likely) so I don't think it will be that different for her. She already wants to spend more time at preschool.

 

Parrothead - I know the money, have my own bank account there, and can ask for the bathroom, so I guess I'm good! I laughed at loud at your comment - it's SO true!! Once I had those two things down I felt a lot more comfortable. That and being able to negotiate public transportation!

 

I will miss DH horribly. We've never been separated like this before. But both of us think it will be good for DD. She's just not learning Turkish living here in the US and she needs to know it to communicate with her family there. They're my in-laws, but they are her aunts, uncles, cousins, grandfather, and both GREAT grandmothers! DH can have dinner with his mom while I'm gone as she lives just 'round the corner. We would Skype regularly - my afternoon would be his morning. I grew up in a military family so I'm actually used to the routine. It would be harder on DH than me, I think. Hopefully he can get over to visit more than once.

 

I get along with my in-laws, though only two of them speak English. With the rest of them I just have to "Tarzan" my way through. Part of purpose of this trip is to immerse me as well and get me more up to speed on the language.

 

Someone asked about friends. Well, I'm a loner anyway, so I think it will be ok. When I lived there a few years ago I was good with talking with the housekeepers and seeing family once or twice a week. One thing that will be hard is that it will be summer when I'm there, which is when most of the families bail out of the city and head for the beach. I might do the same once or twice, but don't see that happening a lot as the going back and forth is a bit difficult logistically. Also, my BFF from here is contemplating coming for a week and that would be wonderful!

 

Is there anything y'all can see that I might be missing?

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I don't think you are missing anything, but have a small observation. If part of the experience would be to improve your language skills as well, I think you should consider making an effort to be social with others, either with adults while your dd is at preschool, or together.

 

You're right, and my MIL mentioned that as well. I do need to make more of an effort. I'm just so shy that it's hard for me. I'll just have to take a deep breath and stick my nose out. Ugh.

 

Pricing tickets!

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