ktgrok Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 I'm part of a local mothers group. Its a great group of women dedicated to living informed lives. Mostly AP, fairly crunchy. Well, as the topic of "tea" often comes up, particulary with tired moms not in the mood, I posted about how my husband had been the one not in the mood, because of a lot of stress, but had made a real effort to improve this area of our lives and we have both enjoyed the change. Well, one of the moms, someone fairly new to the group whose posts have been grating on my nerves anyway, replied that she doesn't know ANY man that would turn down "tea" and "you know, they say if he isn't doing it with you he's doing it with someone" and asked if I had considered that he might be cheating on me!!!!!! OH, and she prefaced it by saying she hoped I didn't take it "the wrong way". Um, what is the RIGHT way to take that??? This is how I responded. I'm trying not to take that wrong, but I'm not sure what the RIGHT way to take "sounds like your husband might be cheating on you" is. So I will simply say that I am 100% certain that my husband is faithful. I have to say, to imply that you know the behavior of all men that well to insinuate this is a bit ridiculous. This is NOT a topic men would discuss openly with casual aquaintances, or even friends most of the time. I am certain that my husband's male friends don't know that we have had this issue, and I am DARNED certain he isn't discussing it with his female friends. Men may laugh and say they always want it when in public, but what happens in private is a totally different issue. So yes, you sounded very insensitive to a real marital issue that is not often talked about but is very real. So yeah, I'll admit it, I'm offended. I followed it up with this: And to clarify, I'm not just offended on my own behalf, although that is part of it. I'm offended on behalf of all men, including the man my son will soon be, whom you are putting into a two dimensional stereotype. Men have emotions and issues just like women. They get depressed, they get tired, they gain weight and feel bad about it, they worry about another pregnancy, they have anxiety, etc. They are not a bunch of horn dogs willing to get it up for anyone that wants it. To assume so is sad. Now no one else is posting on what is usually a very busy list. Did I over react? Keep in mind I don't know this mom personally yet. Katie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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