My DS 5 is driving me insane with his lack of diligence

[kgreenaz]

My first year of home educating my son was the more miserable one for us because I thought I had to do "school" and "home." Once I got over that, things went so much better for us.

 

I am now, four years later, a very relaxed home educator. I became relaxed by reading a variety of books that challenged me. I might want to be classical but I don't have the consistency yet. I can't even be Charlotte Mason-style because I want to play too much. I LOVE being an unschooler but feel too guilty despite how well I've seen it work. Read books like John Holt's Teach Your Own. It will offer some perspective. Read THE ELEMENT by Sir Ken Robinson. I think it should be required reading for every parent & every teacher. I can't recommend it enough.

 

I have three boys: 9, almost-8 & 5. My two youngers (esp Mr. 5yo) enjoy worksheets. My 9yr old would rather clean toilets than do worksheets. So, since I do this for them rather than me, I find what works for them.

 

Peace & Grace, Kim

[ThatCyndiGirl]

My son learned to read at 4, but just started learning handwriting now at age 6. I'm not worried about it in the slightest. His hands were not ready to hold a pencil at 4, but his brain was ready to learn to read. (asked for it, wanted to know, etc.)

 

Honour his development.

[happypamama]

My 5yo DS1 (6 very soon) has about two worksheets a day from the kindergarten BrainQuest workbook. One is a writing worksheet, where he's writing a few letters. He was interested in writing and wanted to know how to write different letters, so this has been a good fit for him. I let him decide how many of the letter he wants to write -- 3 is enough for practice, but he doesn't necessarily need to make 6 like the books suggests, though sometimes he does if he wants to. Then there is one other worksheet, which is sometimes math (count the pennies and write how many there are), sometimes phonics (out of 6 pictures, circle the ones that start with a particular sound), or sometimes science (draw a line matching each animal to its habitat). It takes him only a few minutes and is pretty fun for him.

 

He does do memory verses each day -- again, very quick. I also do a reading lesson with him each day from 100 Easy Lessons (minus the writing part). All told, his work is less than 15 minutes, usually less than 10, and half of it is oral. He also participates in whatever history and science we do as a family, though he doesn't write or narrate (though he occasionally pops in with additional details if DD narrates). He generally listens to our literature selections as well; it's up to him, but he is expected to listen or to play quietly so as not to be disruptive. I do choose supplemental books for history and science that I think will appeal to him as well, and he usually likes those.

 

Focus -- he's a bit quieter and calmer than most 5-6yo boys, I think. Maybe his focus is better? I don't know. If it is, it's just his personality and not anything I've done. I'm not big into lots of formal academics early, but I think this small amount has been good for him, in terms of setting up a routine and good habits and self-discipline. He's also my non-squeaky wheel, my middle child, so having a few minutes of focused attention from me is good for him. He asked for the next BrainQuest workbook for next year, so we'll do that, maybe alternating with some short copywork a few days a week. I think he'd like the Miquon math program too, and he's likely to be reading simple books on his own by then too. I will probably start including him in some narrations too.

[FO4UR]

:iagree: He's 5yo.

 

Look at written seatwork like prime real estate. It's in limited supply, and costs a fortune (it takes a LOT of concentration for a little guy). What is the MOST important thing for him to do sitting down with a pencil in his hand? For me, that's handwriting. So, we start with 3 excellent "a"s and tomorrow do 3 more...and the next day try "t"...and the next day we can write "at" 3x...and it build very gradually.

 

Don't take breaks! Once he starts gaining some skill, keep it fresh...even if only for 5min a day.

 

Math and phonics can be done w/o writing...and sometimes without him knowing he's learning math and phonics.:001_smile:

 

Another thought: My ds8 has always been allergic to worksheets. It turns out that, though his vision is 20/20, he has some visual processing issues. It was a LOT of work just to figure out if this digit *9* is a nine or a six...but away from the worksheet he really is very good at math.

[Laurie4b]

I thought it was a typo of 5 that was meant to be 15, too at first. Got some teenagers here.

[amyrjoy]

I should have used the words "difficulty in concentrating on his assignment that requires 5 or 10 minutes" instead of diligence! Lol! Oh well.....please don't get the idea we have no fun at our homeschool! I keep thinking it's more of a discipline issue, but will try to get his energy out before we do a worksheet in math or part of one or writing down a word or two! I really feel that those couple things are important! I understand the idea that he is just five, but, i can't help but think that he SHOULD be able to do a short easy assignment!

[NanceXToo]

I'm sorry, but I don't agree that in the case of a five year old that this is a discipline issue. I see it as more of a development issue. Perhaps he is just not developmentally ready to do these things! There are a lot of "experts" out there who swear kids aren't at that age.

[dragons in the flower bed]

I put my little one in my lap, ask him the question, and do the writing. Sometimes I write something silly to see if he's paying attention.

[sbgrace]

I should have used the words "difficulty in concentrating on his assignment that requires 5 or 10 minutes" instead of diligence! Lol! Oh well.....please don't get the idea we have no fun at our homeschool! I keep thinking it's more of a discipline issue, but will try to get his energy out before we do a worksheet in math or part of one or writing down a word or two! I really feel that those couple things are important! I understand the idea that he is just five, but, i can't help but think that he SHOULD be able to do a short easy assignment!

I get that doing some math and writing are important. What makes you feel they are important to do at age five, though? Do you really feel he has to do this stuff at age five? I would say they aren't important at this age, play is much better for him cognitively, and you run the real risk of making him feel "sit down school work" is a negative. That attitude could stick with him. I don't see the risk as worth the payout.

 

If you do feel this is vital at this age, why is the form (worksheets) important to you? You could do active math as others have mentioned, act as a scribe, have him write on a whiteboard or in salt, etc.

 

Boys really are different from girls in maturity and readiness for sit down stuff as a whole. Beyond that, some kids thrive with worksheet type approaches and others really need something more active. The beauty of homeschooling, to me, is that you can adjust both expectations and methods to fit your child. As a teacher I met so many boys who turned off and tuned out in K or 1st grade and remained that way for the duration of their schooling. With school if a child isn't ready for "sit down" in K or doesn't fit the curriculum it can be a real disaster for the child. It doesn't have to be in a homeschool situation.

Edited February 6, 2011 by sbgrace

[ktgrok]

I really appreciate all the advice....it's been so frustrating. What I'd like to have him do with a pencil: one math worksheet, short writing ( just a few words or short sentence), and phonics page. ( abeka, bju and bju, respectively). We've been reading aloud a lot, and he will do whatever science and history we do with DD. As well as art. I would just like him to do those few things without totally taking a whole stinking hour to write down a few words! Argh! I've done short lessons occasionally but i get into this rhythm with my other DD ( who is a second grader) and it's been difficult enough to balance the two this year ( besides the toddler).

Lol!

 

I think that is way too much seatwork for a 5 year old boy. Maybe at age 6, but only if broken up with long breaks.

 

Been there, done that, kicking myself now.

[texasmama]

The writing may be a fine motor developmental issue, as well. Most kids this age struggle with pencil control. My five year old does. Even though she loves worksheets, I have to help her write the numbers on the math ones (hand over hand). She has a simple handwriting book which concentrates on one letter per page. The only word I expect her to write (because she knows it and enjoys writing it) is her name. This is technically her pre K year since she turned five in October, but she is an eager learner, loves working on anything school related and as of yet, does not have the fine motor coordination to write very much at all. It will come in time.

[Soror]

My son wasn't ready at 5, another reason we hs'd, ps would have been horrible for him. We didn't do any Math worksheets but he learned plenty. Lots of board games, we tried to play different ones every day. On writing he wasn't ready to take a pencil to paper until a bit past 5.5 then it slowly built up. Before then I had him practice w/ chalk outside or inside, writing in the driveway w/ a stick or in sand. He has more than caught up in writing now and is finishing up his 1st grade writing book next month at 6.5.

[Peela]

I can relate to the desire for a child to get on with it.

But may I suggest that you listen to the women here...I wish I had, more than I did.

They grow up fast.

Doing worksheets at 5 is not a hill to die on.

[Once Again]

Five is very young for worksheets. Little guys like that can only be still and focused for short periods of time.

[hooahwife]

OP: I understand the idea that he is just five, but, i can't help but think that he SHOULD be able to do a short easy assignment!

 

You may think it's short and easy, but to him it may be difficult. If he can't sit still, work with him, not against him. Give him things to develop fine motor skills, like sorting out beads of different colors and shapes and then stringing them together in a pattern. Do puzzles, use clay, fingerpaint, etc. Those activities will help him develop skills to write and do math.

 

My youngest is not ready to do worksheets but likes to color. Youngest can identify letters but won't sit for a phonics lesson. A session on counting coins will happen but only if it's a short session. I'm not going to push just because someone says there's a curriculum out there that some kids that age should be doing. Don't trap yourself and your son by pushing too hard. The beauty of homeschooling is that the only 'should' involved is that you should do what works.