Dmmetler Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 DD (6) loves to dance, and with two of her dance friends, joined a competitive (rec) cheer/pom team this past year. These two girls are probably DD's best friends, in large part because they're the other two in her age level who are really serious about dancing and for whom dance trumps being in the same school class. The problem is that the team is divided by age, and that 7 is a boundary. Which, this season, will split the girls. The coach says that if I want to move DD up, it's fine with her-DD has the focus and the concentration, and she has had beginners start in the 2nd level, so is able to manage skills discrepancies. My concern, though, is that DD is a perfectionist, and tends to compare herself to others even when it's not warranted. Since the teams typically have a 3 year age span already, she'd be with girls as much as 4 years older than she is-and DD's strength in dance isn't natural talent-it's that it's what she wants to do, and that she really works hard to master skills. I know determination can make a big difference, but I'm not sure it can bridge that gap. And I'm afraid of what that could do to DD emotionally. Any advice? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pippen Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 My daughter has been dancing for 9 years and started out in a class with girls who were 2-3 years older than she was. That gap has widened as the years have passed since she made the senior dance company when she was quite young, but as time went on there were also more girls her age. There's been some ebb and flow in the class makeups, but she was the youngest for years. Overall I have to say she's been the happiest when in a class with the older girls. From the beginning she was serious about dancing and wanted to do her best, so the challenge was good for her. What I found was that it was really critical for me to really tune in and listen, to support her, and make adjustments when needed. That's looked different depending on what's going on. She was very unhappy when she moved to her second year of ballet and what I realized was that the longer class which met at bedtime was too much for her so we dropped her back. For a lot of years she was very tiny compared to the older girls, so I had to learn to fuel her body properly before and immediately after because it was such a workout for her. This year it's been a lot of emotional support because most of the girls she's danced with for years moved up to Pointe II class and because she's still young she's in Pointe I--she knows she doesn't belong in the next class but she really, really misses them. So yes, I think it can definitely be a positive experience, but know going into it that the situation won't always be the same year to year, and know that she'll probably need plenty of mom-support. Oh, and I'd suggest trialing the other class before committing if you decide to go that route. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dmmetler Posted February 4, 2011 Author Share Posted February 4, 2011 I think we'll try both classes for a couple of weeks and then make a choice. That way, she won't be missing any choreography in whichever group she's in. Even if I end up paying the cost for a month of classes in both, I think that would still be less costly than making a decision too fast. And DD won't mind in the slightest having two classes instead of one :). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pippen Posted February 5, 2011 Share Posted February 5, 2011 That sounds like a good plan. You're very wise to look at more than just the friends aspect. The thing with dance is that if they stick with it, the reality is that there will be times when girls will move up or out for various reasons, so there will be (at least temporary) seperation from friends. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jujsky Posted February 5, 2011 Share Posted February 5, 2011 (edited) DD (6) loves to dance, and with two of her dance friends, joined a competitive (rec) cheer/pom team this past year. These two girls are probably DD's best friends, in large part because they're the other two in her age level who are really serious about dancing and for whom dance trumps being in the same school class. The problem is that the team is divided by age, and that 7 is a boundary. Which, this season, will split the girls. The coach says that if I want to move DD up, it's fine with her-DD has the focus and the concentration, and she has had beginners start in the 2nd level, so is able to manage skills discrepancies. My concern, though, is that DD is a perfectionist, and tends to compare herself to others even when it's not warranted. Since the teams typically have a 3 year age span already, she'd be with girls as much as 4 years older than she is-and DD's strength in dance isn't natural talent-it's that it's what she wants to do, and that she really works hard to master skills. I know determination can make a big difference, but I'm not sure it can bridge that gap. And I'm afraid of what that could do to DD emotionally. Any advice? Wow! Are you talking about MY kid? Your daughter sounds so much like mine. I had to make a similar decision last year with an upper-level class DD wanted to take. I talked to the teacher about my concerns and we both talked to my daughter. We were all in agreement that it was a "challenge class," and that if the teacher felt DD wasn't able to keep up or if DD became overwhelmed that she would drop the class and try it again the following year when she was a little older. If anything, it motivated DD (also NOT a natural, but very, very driven) to work even harder. She stayed in the class, and although she wasn't the best dancer in the class, there were older girls in the class who weren't as good as she was. I'd say she fell into the middle lower-half of the class when it came to ability level. This year they made a pre-team class at her school for her and another little girl who wanted to join company, but were too young. They were worried they wouldn't fill the class, and made it open for kids 6-10. They had a wait list! There are 16 girls in the class through that entire age-range (one just turned 11, DD told me) and she is keeping up with even the older girls without a problem. I say work it out with the teacher and your daughter. As long as you have an understanding with both of them ahead of time so your DD isn't shocked or upset if she needs to move back down a level, it should be fine. I find with my DD that the higher you raise the bar, the better she does. She tends to bring herself up to the level of the people around her. Edited February 5, 2011 by jujsky Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mejane Posted February 5, 2011 Share Posted February 5, 2011 When my dd was a young ballet dancer, she was much more focused and serious than her peers, but the school she was in at the time would not move her up because they did everything by age. We found a new school. I think it's great that your school gives kids the opportunity to advance, and I'd definitely let her try. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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