alpidarkomama Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 What are some things a family can do to help ease the burdens of others? Anything from small to large. Things you've received yourself that were helpful, things you've done for others, or things you'd imagine would be helpful. As a family, I want to see that we've done at least one thing each day, however small, to make someone else's life a little easier. Looking forward to lots of great suggestions! :bigear: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jld Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 Listening, really listening to other people is a great gift. Just try to see where they're coming from, try to understand why they feel the way they do, and imagine yourself in their shoes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 Calling or sending a card to someone - esp. the elderly or shut-ins. One neighbor asked if he could come over and edge our lawn last year when he knew that our family was ill and it was getting overgrown. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sasharowan Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 We have given rides, picked up stuff from the store, or watched kids for friends as needed. People have given us rides, watched kids for us, picked up stuff for us. We borrow back and forth with the neighbor for tools so neither one of us have to have a full shed. We take extra food over to our neighbor who has difficulty getting around and a sick wife. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 being one of those folks who say "If you ever need anything..." and mean it. Calling when someone is having a hard time and saying..."I'm going to keep your kids, bring you a meal, clean your house, whatever...when is the best time? Would it be better today or next week." I have a hard time calling people, but when they call me and they seem determined to help out and are heading over here ready or not, it is easier for me to accept help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flux Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 Comfort food. I grew up in a small LDS community and whenever anyone had a baby, the Relief Society would organize dinners for the family for 1-2 weeks. I was just a child then and not the momma, but it was still so nice to have people show up with a casserole, bread, salad & a dessert! So I think dropping off a meal to someone with a new baby, when there is a sick family member, death in the family etc. does a lot to ease their burden, even if not part of a widespread effort. My dad would shovel snow from a widow's walkways when his back wasn't hurt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amy g. Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 I'm not sure I can put this into words, but the most helpful thing to me is knowing I have friends who would do ANYTHING for me. My best friend and I used to live next door to each other. Everything we own is basically community property. I can have anything of hers, and she can have anything of mine. I have another friend who treats me the same way. They would happily give... even something that do not have enough of for themselves. Our relationships work, because we are also hyper respectful of each other. For me, there is nothing more comforting than to know that if I need something, there are people who will be glad to drop everything, and come to my rescue in the middle of the night...in a thunderstorm...on Christmas eve...when they are sick... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flux Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 (edited) Also, my mom (widow) has had Boy Scouts come and do tree trimming and yard work for her. Not that everyone can do money, but I have also received cash gifts before that were very helpful. My mom was shopping in a thrift store once and had someone she didn't know walk up to her, smile, and give her $100 cash. My mom called me sobbing. My sister also called me crying when she had called to get their oil tank filled and she couldn't afford it and was trying to arrange payments, when the guy just felt so bad for her especially since she had been dealing with near zero temps with just a couple of space heaters, that he gave it to her for slightly better than half off. He wasn't giving away someone else's property either. He was the company. It was akin to him giving her money. The kindness of strangers can sometimes be so powerful. Edited February 4, 2011 by Flux Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catalinakel Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 We've received cash gifts over the years on occasion. As folks on a very tight budget, this has always been appreciated. Last Christmas I received a grocery gift card for $200. I knew of folks in much worse condition than me, financially, so I passed it along to them. I like to call and ask folks how they are doing to give them a chance to talk about their lives and know that someone cares. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hannah C. Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 As a teen especially, I received countless car rides from various people, mostly to and from church and youth group events, since my family no longer went to church together and I went to a different, farther away church than my siblings did. Actually, those rides were what made it possible for me to go to that church. It was a huge blessing. Even now, car rides are a huge blessing. We only have one car, and rides made it possible at times for me to go home from wherever I was instead of waiting for dh to get done with work. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mejane Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 Not waiting to be asked as some folks' pride won't allow them to ask. I have family members who are hurting financially, and I have paid their fuel bill and sent them grocery cards. I ask them here often so they can get away from their situation for awhile and just breathe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dobela Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 I love receiving small notes or emails with someone saying, "Just wanted to let you know I thought of you and remembered you in my prayers today." Sometimes for me it is the really little things that make a difference - like someone holding a door open for me while my arms are full. Just a small kindness that has sometimes made me less weary. I remember a lady once who took time to sing to my dd in the grocery store line so I could unload my groceries and pay. Before the lady started singing my dd was screaming, clinging to me and having a huge meltdown. I even remember that the first song she sang that calmed my dd. I like it when I have just 2 items and the person with more tells me to go first at the check out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TXMomof4 Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 I think the biggest thing is knowing people well enough to know what they need, KWIM? I have been the recipient of so many gestures of kindness, small and large, that it is overwhelming sometimes. I have received financial gifts, I had women from the church bring me meals, twice a week for months while dh was deployed, one of the women came a picked up all of my laundry and returned it too me washed and folded once a week for about half of the deployment (she didn't find out how bad I was at laundry until that point). I had friend arrange nights out so I could visit with friends while they paid for childcare. My friends arranged childcare once a week, even when their kids were in school during the day so I could go grocery shopping without the herd with me. When dh was on TDY an anonymous person transferred enough airline miles so I could fly to visit him while my parents watched the kids. A group of people at church donated airline miles so my brother and his wife could fly home from Germany for a visit before he deployed the second time. Hopefully there are some ideas in there that might be helpful. The biggest thing was the childcare when I was handling it alone and food. Even though our budget wasn't tight at the time, someone bringing a warm meal that I DIDN"T COOK was delightful. I had one friend who didn't cook that would bring over bags and bags of cereal. I'm talking maybe 10 boxes of cereal - all different kinds, none of it very nutritious I'm sure. The kids loved it, it was something I would never have done and was exactly perfect. All of these people knew me and did things whether I asked or even wanted them to or not. I wasn't given the choice of whether I was going to be blessed, just did I want it on Tuesday or Thursday. It removed the embarrassment of admitting I couldn't do it all and gave them the joy of giving. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alpidarkomama Posted February 4, 2011 Author Share Posted February 4, 2011 Comfort food. I grew up in a small LDS community and whenever anyone had a baby, the Relief Society would organize dinners for the family for 1-2 weeks. I was just a child then and not the momma, but it was still so nice to have people show up with a casserole, bread, salad & a dessert! So I think dropping off a meal to someone with a new baby, when there is a sick family member, death in the family etc. does a lot to ease their burden, even if not part of a widespread effort. Our Jewish community does that too. Everyone who moves in, gets sick, has a baby, or any other need is fed for at least two weeks. :) I think when we moved here, we had food deliveries for a MONTH! :) :) :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alpidarkomama Posted February 4, 2011 Author Share Posted February 4, 2011 I love receiving small notes or emails with someone saying, "Just wanted to let you know I thought of you and remembered you in my prayers today." Sometimes for me it is the really little things that make a difference - like someone holding a door open for me while my arms are full. Just a small kindness that has sometimes made me less weary. I remember a lady once who took time to sing to my dd in the grocery store line so I could unload my groceries and pay. Before the lady started singing my dd was screaming, clinging to me and having a huge meltdown. I even remember that the first song she sang that calmed my dd. I like it when I have just 2 items and the person with more tells me to go first at the check out. I love the singing lady. I think every store should be stocked with a singing lady! I remember the store tantrum days all too well... :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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