Only me Posted April 30, 2008 Share Posted April 30, 2008 I've mentioned before about my carpooling issues. I'm definitely not going to give the one girl rides next year. I've mentioned her before: the one whose parents were very rude to me. She is also the girl who wouldn't buckle up. This past week my dd has had to stay after school for pom tryouts. I called and left a message for her parents and emailed them this weekend. Monday I heard that she was furious because she didn't have a ride home. I really don't want to do the carpool thing at all. I have been driving the other girl all year. For a few months her older sister also took turns driving. I really like this family and I am happy to help out. I'll admit though that at times it can be a real hassle. For instance if I can't drive one day (if my dd is sick or we need to go to an appt.) I have to worry about transportation for this girl. I can never stop somewhere on the way home because I have her in the car. Sometimes my dd doesn't even want to stay after school to talk to a teacher, etc. because she knows the other girls are waiting. Next year her mom says that she can drive the girls home after school but will need someone to drive her daughter in the morning. My husband drives my dd to school every day and they really enjoy the time together. They seldom get one on one time. Both of them have stated that they really don't want to give that up. My dd will also be getting her driving permit in a few months and by next fall I'm hoping to get in some driving time for her to and from school. She won't want to drive with the other girl in the car (at least at first). The bottom line is that I feel guilty if we say that we can't carpool next year. I'm really not sure how this girl will get to school. My husband wants me to tell them that we can't but I'm not sure how to word it. I know that they will ask for reasons but I feel like my reasons aren't good enough. Any suggestions? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JFSinIL Posted April 30, 2008 Share Posted April 30, 2008 The bottom line is that I feel guilty if we say that we can't carpool next year. I'm really not sure how this girl will get to school. My husband wants me to tell them that we can't but I'm not sure how to word it. I know that they will ask for reasons but I feel like my reasons aren't good enough. Any suggestions? Not your problem!!!!Just tell them that car pooling will not work out next year. You owe them NO explanation - do NOT go there (or they will try and find ways around your arguments.) Just keep smiling and repeating "It won't work out next year" until they get the point. I had a similar situation with daily kidkare for some neighbors - sometimes you have to say "NO" and not discuss it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sophia Posted April 30, 2008 Share Posted April 30, 2008 You are just too nice for your own good. Consider this: Your dh and dd have made their preferences clear. To whom do you have an obligation, your family or these other people? You mentioned feeling guilty, I'd feel more guilty about taking away father/ daughter time than providing a ride for someone who's not my responsibility. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Only me Posted April 30, 2008 Author Share Posted April 30, 2008 I need to become more thick skinned. It is one of my many weaknesses. I've just formed somewhat of a friendship with this girl's mom. I don't really know her but we've had several conversations over the phone this past year about school, kids, etc. I hate to make life more difficult for them if they won't have a ride for their dd next year. On the other hand I'm thrilled that dh and dd want to have this one on one time in the morning. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted April 30, 2008 Share Posted April 30, 2008 If the mom will only be nice to you if you are taking her child to school, then she is using you. I know that it is tough to work out some of these logistics. But it really is their problem and not yours. I understand feeling guilty about stuff like that too, though. In the immortal words of Bob Newhart - STOP IT! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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