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Do you limit your teen's video game playing?


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Ds15 is obsessed with his XBox and the game Modern Warfare. He's in school this year, but he doesn't get much homework. He spends all his spare time playing this game. He plays online, so he can play his school friends. The problem is that he doesn't do anything else (unless we make him). We make him do chores on Saturday, piano lessons, and homework. That still leaves an awful lot of time playing on the XBox. I think he should pursue other interests, like reading, sports, or another instrument, but he resists because it's his free time. I do want him to start organizing his own time, but I feel like he's wasting a lot of time.

 

Do you put limits on video games?

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Yes, we put limits on video games. We save them for weekends only, but I always reserve the right to say, "Maybe not this weekend."

 

I used to say, "After everyone's schoolwork is done," but I found that they would rush through their work to make more time for the game systems.

Even if they have no homework there is always at least one subject that they could stand to study a little more, a book to read, instrument to practice, or board and card games they can play with the rest of the family.

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Well, my boys are 13 and 15. They are allowed to play for 2 hours total on the weekend, no more than 1 hour a day. So they normally play one hour on Friday and one hour on Saturday. Sometimes for school holidays or if friends come over, they get to play more, but for the most part that is it. They would play for hours if I let them, but I don't.

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Yep. 2 hours per day, after school and other responsibilities have been met. It's been this way for a LONG time, but we are very generous with giving more time for extra chores being done or on days when new games come out and such. :) I think it also helps that we have 6 kids and do NOT have 6 tv's or computers. LOL Everyone has to share and you'd better deal with it.

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We don't, but I'm the one with the video game problem. I have ditched school so dd and I could play a new game for a week.

 

That said, the Wii hasn't been played in weeks. So there are other interests pursued.

 

I think if it were us there would naturally be other things going on. Dinner at the table can be as long or short as you make it. Family game time, Family movie night. Watching the family's favorite TV show. Walks after dinner. Stuff like that would get in the way of computer/Xbox time.

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My ds 14 is in school also. We put the gaming controllers away during the week M - Th so they have no access to video games. We also encourage them to be good stewarts of their time and limit Fri/weekend gaming to 2 hours a day.

 

We also had to password the children's computer several years ago. This was while my ds was hs. He would get up in the middle of the night and game after we went to bed. Video and computer gaming can be very addicting.

Edited by Ferdie
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I don't have a limit for my 17yo, because he doesn't play that often. It doesn't grab his attention like it does my 12yo. My 12yo can only play for 1 hour per day after chores, schoolwork, etc. are done. Most weekends he doesn't play at all because he has friends over or we are busy doing something. If he has a friend over, they rarely play video games. They usually end up outside.

 

ETA: My girls have no interest in video games.

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Yes. Calvin gets an hour on Saturday and an hour on Sunday. He also gets two hours a week of TV time and an hour for web surfing - we sometimes let him swap out some of this time for game playing. If he seems to be getting obsessive, however, we don't let him swap any more.

 

Laura

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My youngest does not care much for video games but does like to surf the net (as do I). What I try to do is set aside a scheduled time for it. When time is up, computer goes off. My son does the same.

 

I read about the following study from Iowa State on Dr. Weil's website. Here is a link, if you're interested:

 

http://www.news.iastate.edu/news/2011/jan/addiction

 

Once they become addicted, pathological gamers were more likely to become depressed, have increased social phobias, and increased anxiety. And they received poorer grades in school. Therefore, it looks like pathological gaming is not simply a symptom of depression, social phobia or anxiety. In fact, those problems seem to increase as children become more addicted. In addition, when children stopped being addicted, depression, anxiety and social phobias decreased as well.

 

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Of my three boys, he is the one who would have gladly lost himself for hours in video games and barring that, mindless tv. We didn't have video games, but he liked computer games, and I set limits.

 

My younger sons (newly 13) are too busy. By the time they do school and music practice and play sports, there just isn't time.

 

But I don't buy his argument that "free time" means "free to do whatever I want."

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I did limit my ds's time. He had an addiction to games too. He never really got over it until after he was in college and had more to do. I don't think teens are able to overcome an addiction like this on their own. They need help to find other activities until they are mature enough to make wise choices with their time. It is an easy, stimulating activity. We need to teach them to make better choices, and if they can't we need to limit them.

 

I don't let my kids choose to not exercise or choose to only eat cookies for everymeal. Why would I feel guilty about not letting them make equally bad decisions about how to spend their free time?

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I've become more and more relaxed about video games. My kids read a lot and play games with each other, and pull out the art supplies on a whim. Games are just another interest they gave. They'll sit down and play for a couple hours straight, just like they'll sit down and peruse any other interest for several hours. We're snowed in right now and they sat on the couch for four hours straight yesterday while my oldest read a Harry Potter book to my youngest. I couldn't believe she was willing to read out loud for that long.

 

Obviously some kids have addiction problems and if that's the case, that limiting it is probably a good idea, but I think so long as a kid has multiple interests that can occupy their time, extended video gaming isn't a problem. But I don't view video games as inherently a bad way to spend time.

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Theoretically we limit. My ds plays Xbox live with his friends, mostly online only friends. We also try not to be hypocritical because dh and I use our computers a lot. He goes in spurts where he'll play for a while, then not play for days. He never watches TV unless it's with us, by choice.

 

He also has another game he is building some world as part of the game, so he's learning more than playing.

 

He has no issue stopping when we ask so he is allowed more time. IOW we hold ultimate control, but we're fairly liberal.

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We have computer/video game days. If they complete chores and homework the previous days they can play Tue/Thurs between 6 and 730. They are also allowed to play in the car on long distance trips.

 

Screen time is a privilege. Anyone not doing their jobs around here (that includes me) doesn't get recreational screen time until they are a contributing member of the house again.

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We don't limit it, but it also hasn't been a problem. Sometimes ds gets a little deeper involved than I like, but then he pulls his head out and starts working on a new project doing something else. He ebbs and flows, so as long as I see him having other interests...we're okay. If it became a problem, I wouldn't have a problem setting limits.

 

That being said ds16 carries a fairly heavy load in community college, works 3 days a week, goes to church 3 days a week, (had a girl friend until a week ago), is on a competitive sports team 9mths of the year, reads and paints models. If I started seeing gaming interfering with his life, it would be pretty obvious by cutting into one of these. LOL I don't mind him spending his free time doing what he wants...but he also doesn't have a lot of it to waste.

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