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Custody and HS'ing question


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I have a friend who wants to pull 2 of her kids out of the PS and HS. She has 50/50 legal custody with her ex but she is the primary caregiver. She is in TN and the ex is in VA. He says she can't HS. It's not for any reason other than control/spite. He's mad because he is having marital troubles with his new wife because his ex gets 50% of his military retirement and the new wife is mad about it. He is also refusing to go to TN to see their oldest graduate stating he thinks the ex should pay for the ticket.

 

Anyway, legally can she HS anyway? She isn't asking for any money for curriculum, she just wanted to include their father in the decision.

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In Michigan, the divorce decree states which parent makes educational decisions. If her divorce decree specifically states that educational decisions are made by the parent with primary physical custody, then she would have the right to make that decision though he could use it as an excuse to sue her for custody and battle it out in mediation or in the court.

 

My brother shared 50/50 physical custody, meaning he had his sons for two weeks then they went to their mother's for two weeks. Despite this, their divorce decree (settled in mediation) stated unequivocally that all educational decisions rested with him. He offered her two snowmobiles in exchange for agreeing to that...she was all about the money. This allowed him to keep his sons in their private school instead of having to haggle over which school districtt he kids would attend.

 

She probably needs to have her lawyer read the court documents.

 

Faith

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I have a friend who wants to pull 2 of her kids out of the PS and HS. She has 50/50 legal custody with her ex but she is the primary caregiver. She is in TN and the ex is in VA. He says she can't HS. It's not for any reason other than control/spite. He's mad because he is having marital troubles with his new wife because his ex gets 50% of his military retirement and the new wife is mad about it. He is also refusing to go to TN to see their oldest graduate stating he thinks the ex should pay for the ticket.

 

Anyway, legally can she HS anyway? She isn't asking for any money for curriculum, she just wanted to include their father in the decision.

 

Well, that was her first mistake. :glare: J/K. Sort of.

 

I believe as another poster stated she and XH are suppose to be in agreement or a judge has to decide. But hey, if he doesn't have enough money to come see his dd graduate then I doubt he has enough money to hire an attorney to stop her from hs'ing.

 

This is one of the main reasons I wanted full custody.

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Under TN law, you're only homeschooling if you're registered with a public school. My DD is officially private schooled, in a school that just happens to have DH and I as (unpaid) faculty and has a satellite campus that just happens to match our home address. So does she have the right to transfer the kids to a private school? If so, that might be the loophole she needs. And it might be that if she chose a more structured cover school, that would give the dad the comfort he needs.

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I think the kids fall under Tennessee law. You can come up with all kinds of ideas but she has two choices. One is to try it and see what happens and the other is to contact a lawyer. She could second guess this forever and make herself crazy. If it were me I would have a good lawyer give me advice.

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I think the kids fall under Tennessee law. You can come up with all kinds of ideas but she has two choices. One is to try it and see what happens and the other is to contact a lawyer. She could second guess this forever and make herself crazy. If it were me I would have a good lawyer give me advice.

:iagree: I would rather be safe than sorry later. Even if it costs money, it would be worth it for the security.

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I think the kids fall under Tennessee law. You can come up with all kinds of ideas but she has two choices. One is to try it and see what happens and the other is to contact a lawyer. She could second guess this forever and make herself crazy. If it were me I would have a good lawyer give me advice.

 

Family law can vary quite a bit from one state to the next. In my state, even if you have joint legal custody one parent may have authority to make certain decisions, including educational ones. However, the rule could be different in another state, or the custody decree between these two parties could provide otherwise. Taking a chance could be risky, because if she oversteps her legal bounds, the other party could move to modify and seek sole custody. Even if he doesn't get custody, she will have to incur a lot of legal expenses. It's probably worth spending a few dollars to get proper legal advice now. Then she can make a decision with knowledge of what the scope of her authority actually is.

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In Texas, it's specified in the divorce decree specifically who gets to make educational decisions, and it is usually just the parent with primary physical custody not both.

 

This is not accurate. I've just been through a 4 year long battle over custody that ended in an educational setting battle.

 

The default Texas standard order is a custodial parent/non custodial parent and equal choice in medical, educational and religious training.

 

OP, no, she likely can not homeschool without going to court. It's also true that the courts mostly side with the mainstream/normative choice when there is a dispute between co parents.

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This is not accurate. I've just been through a 4 year long battle over custody that ended in an educational setting battle.

 

The default Texas standard order is a custodial parent/non custodial parent and equal choice in medical, educational and religious training.

 

That is not accurate either... My husband has custody of his kids... his ex can not make any educational decisions for them, can not give permission for them to marry, or make medical decisions without him. His decree is from 2001.

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She needs to read the wording of her original divorce decree, which is the ruling document, legally speaking, until another legal document takes its place regarding the children. I don't think it matters what state anyone lives in at this point. The fall back legal position is whatever is stated in the original decree. If she wants to change that, she can go to court and try to do so.

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That is not accurate either... My husband has custody of his kids... his ex can not make any educational decisions for them, can not give permission for them to marry, or make medical decisions without him. His decree is from 2001.

 

His decree is not the standard order. It's not the default; it was negotiated, agreed to or arbitrated.

 

The post I was responding to was inaccurate in terms of Texas.

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His decree is not the standard order. It's not the default; it was negotiated, agreed to or arbitrated.

 

The post I was responding to was inaccurate in terms of Texas.

 

And how do you know that?

 

They used a paralegal who used whatever standard TX do it yourself type paperwork there was at the time. Trust me, she would have never agreed to that, she just didn't want to cause problems and wanted the divorce done quick so she didn't make a fuss since it was standard. The only thing arbitrated was his ability to leave the state should he need to for work. You stated your divorce has been ongoing for 5 years, well this was 10 years ago, things may have changed since then.

 

In any regard it's moot because the OP's friends decree is from Alaska anyhow.

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