What do you do when you find your child didn't complete the work you assigned?

[merry gardens]

I'm frustrated and angry with my 12 yo son.:mad: I discovered a few moments ago that he did not complete the vocabulary workbook assignment from last week. :willy_nilly:

 

It's like this often. Every week, I assign a unit of vocabulary from "Words on the Vine". I put those vocabulary words on his personalized spelling test, along with other words gathered from his spelling mistakes. I go over the vocabulary book and the words with him each week. It's a predictable pattern. Yet, I frequently find that he hasn't completed the work. He usually does poor on the spelling test too. Besides not doing the vocabulary book, he didn't write out the spelling cards or do any of the other various activities I have gone over with him to help him with his spelling.

 

BTW, the amount of work I assign him is very reasonable, possibly too light. He often makes excuses for not doing it. I usually just tell him to finish the pages, write out the spelling cards, etc. but today I got tougher. I told him he couldn't go to his Boy Scout meeting tonight.

 

What do you do when you discover your middle schoolers didn't finish an assignment?

[Elfinlady]

I have had this problem with my 14 year old. Now he must show me his completed assignments each day, so I can see that he has actually done the work.

[Guest]

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Edited January 31, 2011 by Guest

[mcconnellboys]

With my older son, whenever I discovered any undone work, it got done immediately after school time, during what would otherwise have been free time. And sometimes extra work was added, as well.....

[2cents]

We have very firm rules about completing work before any free time. Mine have to show it to me for grading daily so that is how we avoid any problems.

[Daisy]

I check all work daily. If it isn't done to my standards they redo it. Mostly this is because my 8yo son would get NOTHING done if I didn't check his work every single day.

 

I don't really think I'd need to check my daughter's work daily. She's in 6th grade. I could probably go to weekly with her, but with the clear understanding that if the work wasn't completed by Saturday am, she'd be spending the day doing it then. But then I have to ask myself if I really want to be the enforcer on that one. I'd rather just check it every day.

 

Whenever you decide to check it, there needs to be established consequences for not meeting expectations.

[elinnea]

I also correct my kids' work every single day. I would love it if they were more responsible but we just aren't there yet. Actually I try to look over each of their subjects before we move along to the next. My oldest ds has the problem that he will do the work....well some of it...but he skips things or isn't as thorough as he should be. All work has to be completed to my standards before we are done for the day.

[Sebastian (a lady)]

I'm frustrated and angry with my 12 yo son.:mad: I discovered a few moments ago that he did not complete the vocabulary workbook assignment from last week. :willy_nilly:

 

It's like this often. Every week, I assign a unit of vocabulary from "Words on the Vine". I put those vocabulary words on his personalized spelling test, along with other words gathered from his spelling mistakes. I go over the vocabulary book and the words with him each week. It's a predictable pattern. Yet, I frequently find that he hasn't completed the work. He usually does poor on the spelling test too. Besides not doing the vocabulary book, he didn't write out the spelling cards or do any of the other various activities I have gone over with him to help him with his spelling.

 

BTW, the amount of work I assign him is very reasonable, possibly too light. He often makes excuses for not doing it. I usually just tell him to finish the pages, write out the spelling cards, etc. but today I got tougher. I told him he couldn't go to his Boy Scout meeting tonight.

 

What do you do when you discover your middle schoolers didn't finish an assignment?

 

I have had this happen too. Generally it's with a topic that the kids don't enjoy or find tedious. And I've had to be honest that frequently, the shortcutting assignments have most often occured when I've been distracted and not following up on checking their progress.

 

Occasionally we have all just forgotten, like when I realized that I'd waived completing science worksheets for one book that I thought was overkill and forgot to remind them to start up again when they hit the next book. That time I said that they needed to start doing them again, but didn't have to complete missed weeks.

 

When they have just stopped doing something, like Latin, then they have extra homework until they are caught up. I don't keep them home from sports or scouts, because they have obligations to others within those groups. I might consider keeping them out of an extra activity like a merit badge weekend or a campout, but I'd be careful how that negatively impacted the rest of the unit (One of the scouts in our troop would pull out of campouts the night before or morning of departure and would have forgotten to mention to his parents that he'd been responsible for food or to the unit that his attendance was in question. This really caused more mayhem than was necessary.)

 

What I have restricted is any free reading, all electronics, non-school access to computers, family tv time and any playing with friends until they were caught up.

 

Now if I had a kid who was being dishonest, ie marking something complete that was not rather than just forgetting about something, then it would be a different issue. But I sort of have the opinion that it is my job as teacher and parent to make sure that the work is checked. If weekly isn't often enough for a pre-teen who is still learning how to self-motivate and schedule his time, then I need to model time management as well as provide more frequent checks.

 

Just my $0.02. YMMV:rant:

[regentrude]

I check assignments daily. If something they HAD to do is not complete, they have to redo it immediately.

[NanceXToo]

I agree with checking work daily.

 

In fact, you might even need to start out by being aware of what he's doing at the moment, i.e. "It's time to do vocabulary, right now" AND checking his assignment right after he's done it, i.e. "Come show it to me/Call me when it's finished so I can check it."

 

Then have him move on to the next thing.

[nd293]

I have to remind myself that it's my responsibility to check dd's work daily. At school the teacher would be checking daily, and as a conscienscious parent, I would be checking homework, yet somehow as a homeschooling parent I sometimes forget that I need to follow up!

 

If I discover work that is undone, it would need to get done in free time, i.e. no TV time today etc.

[Paisley Hedgehog]

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[abbeyej]

Two things: more frequent check-ups and immediate feedback from me, and more accountability for him.

 

The first allows me to catch problems early. It's a lot easier to catch back up and be where we need to be if I notice a problem within hours (or at most a single day) rather than days or weeks.

 

The second means that he knows he's responsible for getting work done in a timely manner, or "extras" start disappearing. We already don't do screen time during the week (I find it's just too distracting -- and my children are not highly distractible), but if reasonable amounts of work are not being completed in a timely manner, there's no playing with the neighbors or going to fun youth group activities, etc. (Certain extra-curriculars stay in place.) He knows that there's just no going off to do his own thing while there's still work to be done -- and if I'm doing *my* job, I *know* when there's still work to be done.

 

I also make it very clear that *lying* to me (even by omission) is a big problem. If he's genuinely working hard and having trouble getting everything one on a particular day, that's something we can discuss and figure out a way to work around. But if he's slacking off *and* implying to me that he's gotten everything done?! That's a serious problem (and likely to be a rather unpleasant one for him).

[redsquirrel]

My son has a white board with the daily list of assignments. he asks that I be very specific as to page numbers etc. As he finishes he may wipe them off. I check for correctness as he goes along.

 

I have offered to let him give it to me once a week and he says no. He doesn't trust himself, lol.

 

I think the middle school years are PRIME time for this behavior. I wouldn't take it personally or as a failing of the student.

 

I don't think I would allow my kids to go for more than a day without a visual check in of completed work until starting in 9th grade. I am guessing that once they are that age, it can progress to weekly checks very quickly.

 

As a repercussion, I would have the work done during a time that is usually spent doing a fun activity. I would also plan some type of reward activity for when he does complete his work in the desired fashion, but that is just me.

[EKS]

When I discover undone work, it gets done after school time or on the weekend.

 

But I also find that this sort of thing starts happening when I'm not paying enough attention to what he is doing. Things go much better if I make a point to check for completion every day rather than once per week.

[PeterPan]

She has a regularly scheduled activity on Saturday, and she doesn't go out the door for it till everything is done, plain and simple. And yes, many Saturdays she is up at 7 am finishing her work so she can go out the door on time. It's just how it is. It's a firm deadline I hold to and mean it. And I tell her so repeatedly, that I'm very serious about it.

 

I think the key is to have enough structure (daily checklists, whatever) so he knows what is expected and you know if it got done. It's a process, but yes by this age there should be some end points he bumps up against. I don't think it has to be *punitive* so much as *motivating*. See the difference? If he loses his Wii for a week because he didn't complete all his work, that's punitive. If he EARNS his Wii for the next week because he completed his work this week, that's motivating.

[Mom22ns]

The only way I have fixed this is too check work daily and ds's life ends until the work is done to my satisfaction. Period.

 

:iagree:

 

This is the way our world works. It is rarely an issue since they know I check, but if they aren't getting work done I consider it my fault for not holding them accountable.

 

If they want greater freedom, they have to earn it - consistently.

[KS_]

We have very firm rules about completing work before any free time. Mine have to show it to me for grading daily so that is how we avoid any problems.

 

Same here - I have to sit down and check their work daily, and I started keeping a gradebook. They have to keep at least a 75 average (including an attitude grade) for general privileges. If they don't, they lose privileges until their grades come back up (and dh and I give them the opportunity on math and grammar to correct their work and earn 1/2 credit on the corrected problems).

 

So it's not difficult at all for them to keep privileges, but it does make them think twice about being lazy and not doing an assignment at all.

[MomsintheGarden]

I agree with all of the above. You are modeling diligence by keeping up. Showing your children that you work hard to stay caught up is at least as important as the schoolwork itself. Naturally there are going to be extenuating circumstances, such as sickness and emergencies, that will keep you from checking all work every single day, but this should be the exception rather than the rule.

 

GardenMom

[merry gardens]

Thank you to everyone for your responses. Well, it sounds like the concensus from the hive is that I should check all his work daily.

 

That's probably what he needs. I do check his work daily for subjects that we cover daily, like math and grammar. I go over with him the previous day's assignment before moving onto the next lesson. But some subjects (like vocabulary) I assigned the work by the week. We cover one unit of vocab per week, and I typically go over it with him on Mondays. It was then that I discovered he hadn't done last week's work. I don't neccesarily care what days he does the assigned workbook pages as long as he does them each week. I remember my fourth grade teacher did something similar to that--my teacher assigned the work at the begining of the week, we could do the work in any order we wanted, and the assignments were due on Friday.

 

I really liked the weekly assignment style I had as a fourth grader, and I expected my sixth grader would be able to handle that type of freedom. I expected more from him by age 12, but maybe I was expecting too much from him.

Edited February 1, 2011 by merry gardens

[KS_]

 

I really liked the weekly assignment style I had as a fourth grader, and I expected my sixth grader would be able to handle that type of freedom. I expected more from him by age 12, but maybe I was expecting too much from him.

 

He may need his assignments broken down more - it may be easier for him to have a small portion due everyday to keep him on track and so it doesn't feel overwhelming to him (at least that's how my ds perceives a large assignment).

[TKDmom]

We cover one unit of vocab per week, and I typically go over it with him on Mondays. It was then that I discovered he hadn't done last week's work. I don't neccesarily care what days he does the assigned workbook pages as long as he does them each week.

 

Maybe you could assign his vocab to be completed by Friday, and require that it be done before any weekend activities. That way, he could still have flexibility, but you don't have to wait until you're ready to move on to next week's work to find out that he didn't do last week's work.

[PeterPan]

Merry, that's good to have a weekly assignment that he is responsible for having done by Friday!!! That's not the issue. The issue is that you have to CHECK at the end of Friday to make sure it was done. After all, that's the point of it being DUE, that it was required, not a suggestion. And if it isn't done, life ends till it is. So a simple change. But by all means your thoughts were good. The trick is just to figure out how to implement them.

[merry gardens]

He may need his assignments broken down more - it may be easier for him to have a small portion due everyday to keep him on track and so it doesn't feel overwhelming to him (at least that's how my ds perceives a large assignment).

That's what I decided to do. I'm breaking up the assignment into one page per day, plus I have added an assignment to look up each word in the dictionary and write out the definition. That makes for four days of vocabulary assignments, with one day for the test. I'll check each day.

 

Since we have a homeschool co-op on Fridays, I had been doing the testing and reviewing of the previous week's work on Mondays. I also want him to remember the words for longer than five days. I'm going to stick with that Mon-Mon pattern, but breaking up the assignments into daily assignments instead of weekly assignments should help.

 

I just checked his work a little while ago, and he's re-doing it right now. :glare: This assignment is taking him far longer than it should take, but he'll get it right eventually. :D

[Sebastian (a lady)]

I think sometimes when I think back to my own junior high days and how various teachers handled things, I tend to forget that my parents were also in there asking what homework I had and was I ready for the next day. (I definitely remember morning spelling word quizzing before school.)

 

It can be more challenging, I think, to be both teacher and parent. I know that sometimes I really wish that I could just give the assignments and then have them come rolling back in, completed on time. But I think that I still have a lot of training to do with my kids on how to break down an assignment into managable chunks and get it done.

[justamouse]

that age is *notorious* for not doing work 'independently'. I check mine after each lesson. Less work for me, immediate feedback for them. And you sit next to them and make sure it gets done. Even when I'm juggling 4 different math levels. I'm there at the table, going round to each one as they need help.

[Ohdanigirl]

I have a weekly list for my dc. All work needs to be done before TV or Any other fun activities. If all their assignments aren't done at the end of the week, they lose all video game privileges for the week-end and must work on any missed work during their time. This works really well, since video games are a weekend only activity. They really don't want to lose those.;)

 

Also, the list helps them to see how much they have done and what they have left.

 

Danielle

[beezus]

I still do a weekly checklist that has assignments to be checked off for every single day. I had hoped by this time that my dd would be able to manage her time and work more independently, but that's not the case yet. I have have to check her work daily. No screen time or friend time until the work is done. Sometimes I have to insist that she do her work at the dining room table, because if she's in her room with the door closed, she will sometimes put on a book on CD and listen to that instead of doing her work.

 

If she is working on an assignment and truly thinks the work is too much, she can ask me about changing it or giving her more time, but only if she approaches it in a non-whiny way and only if I'm sure she's making an effort rather than simply trying to avoid doing something.