Classical Country Mama Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 A dear friend of mine is pregnant with twins. At the 8 week u/s, they could not find heartbeats. She waited and went in again a few days ago, but still no heartbeats. At about 10 weeks they measured 8w6d. However, there is no cramping or spotting or any evidence she's about to miscarry. In fact, she is still experiencing strong morning sickness. The dr seems to be in a big hurry to do a D&C, but my friend isn't convinced yet. (She has had 5 healthy pregnancies before this, so she is not a newbie.) Would be so grateful for advice. What to say or do??? Is there hope? What should she look for or ask? Thank you so much for your help in this very difficult situation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wapiti Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 There is no harm in waiting. :grouphug: for your friend. At this point the ultrasound is almost always right, but I've heard of enough exceptions (tech error/bad luck) that if your friend's intuition says differently, she should wait. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dinsfamily Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 I think she should wait until she's comfortable with the d&c or spontaneously m/c. I had to have d&cs with both of my m/c because there was no evidence my body was going to do it. However, I waited until I was satisfied that the babies weren't viable. That was about three weeks both times. The first time I had to fight the OB as they wanted to schedule the surgery the day after my first u/s but this last time my OB (different state) said that she would do whatever I was comfortable with including more u/s and waiting. Because we waited, dh and I were fine with the d&cs. We still miss those babies but it's no different than if I spontaneously miscarried. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 I can't imagine any harm in waiting it out, but I'm no expert. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
renmew Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 It would not do any harm to simply wait. My bff lost her twins at 22 weeks and did chose an induction later that same day. About six months later I experienced very heavy bleeding and cramping at 10 weeks pg. My doctor said there was nothing they could do and put me on three days bed rest. I was braced for the worst, expecting to naturally m/c, but nothing happened and the pg continued. Your friend could just wait and see. Her body will naturally end the pg soon enough if it has, in fact, failed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kwickimom Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 I had about the same thing happen, although I was farther along. I did not get my D&C the next day as the doc wanted. I waited over a =week and went in for another u/s and saw no movement/growth/heartbeat yet again and I was SURE. If she is not in any physical harm by waiting, she should wait until she is sure so she never feels any guilt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnitaMcC Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 I would wait.... When I was pregnant with my twins... the tech couldn't get one of the heart beats the first few U/S. I think it was around week 10 that they got both heart beats. My twins also always measured smaller than their gestational age. Ds#2 (a singleton) was measuring almost a month behind, but when he was born he was 9 days early and weighed 7 lbs 8oz. The U/S calculations did not match up to reality. He was supposed to be under 6lbs according to doctor the week before I was induced. Maybe she isn't as far along as they think. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pink Fairy Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 I'd ask for an ultrasound. If there is any doubt in her mind, she should wait on a d&c. Otherwise she's always going to wonder. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wapiti Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 The U/S calculations did not match up to reality. Maybe she isn't as far along as they think. :iagree: This is a good point to keep in mind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DianeW88 Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 I miscarried twins. No heartbeat and not measuring up to size are pretty accurate. The OB will want to do a D&C because the risk of bleeding with a natural miscarriage is much greater with twins. My OB even made me have my D&C with that miscarriage (my 4th) in the hospital. I'd had the previous ones right in the OB's office. If I were her, I'd get one more ultrasound if it makes her feel better, then schedule the D&C. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bethben Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 I'm married to a man who's mom chose not to have the D&C due to thoughts that she had a miscarriage. Beth Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DesertDweller Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 While your hormone levels may still be high, the question is are they continuing to increase, staying the same, going down? Are they where they should be at this point in the pregnancy? I began spotting with my last pregnancy. Was sure I was miscarrying. Didn't need to have a D/C at that point. The following week I began bleeding quite heavily. I was sent almost every other day for bloodwork to check my hormone levels. Also had to have a couple U/S. Because my hormone levels weren't going down, it took almost three weeks before they finally did a D/C. Honestly, if you aren't satisfied at this point that one should be done, I would hold off a bit. Ask what the risks are in waiting. Ask to have your hormone levels monitored to see what exactly is going on. You don't want to put yourself in any danger from waiting although it doesn't sound like you are at this point. I would just want some more conclusive answers before I made a decision to have a D/C. You definitely need to have peace of mind about something like this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HLDoll Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 It's still very early and if she's not comfortable with the idea of a D&C, I think she's better off waiting. If your friend is young and healthy, there's something to be said for giving her body a chance to do it's thing. It took me over 3 weeks to naturally miscarry, but I'd read so many stories of the ultrasounds being wrong, of dates being off and I just wasn't comfortable emptying my womb and facing the accompanying risks of a D&C. My doctors certainly advised the D&C, but were very understanding about my decision to wait, and they monitored me weekly with hormone tests and ultrasounds. I don't regret my decision to let nature run it's course, even though I did end up in the ER due to extensive blood loss when it finally happened. Making the loss convenient and easy wasn't worth the cost of peace to my heart. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissKNG Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 At the 8 week u/s, they could not find heartbeats. . When I was 8 weeks pregnant with my small girl, my midwife said there's a small chance that we would hear a heartbeat because it's so early. Because I'm very slender, we were able to hear one. I would imagine depending on your friend's size, it just may be too soon to hear heartbeats. At my next appointment, another midwife who saw me was actually surprised that we heard a heartbeat at 8 weeks since it's so early. So I would wait. ETA: I don't even know what a D&C is??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Homemaker Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 I lost my first pregnancy. I found out at the 8 week appt that it didn't look good, went back in 2 weeks and I started bleeding and it took another two weeks (which included immense pain and lots of bloodloss) to mc. It was difficult to get through, but I am very thankful that I did it naturally. I needed that time to grieve and feel totally confident that it wasn't a viable pregnancy. I had a blighted ovum, so I had an empty sac, no baby developed. I hope your friend takes time to decide if she wants to do it naturally or a d&c and that she doesn't feel pressure to hurry it along. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 Wait. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom2J112903 Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 Both times my sister has miscarried, the babies measured 2-3wks behind what she actually should have been. She miscarries around 10-11wks however her babies do not survive past 7/8wks. She has never had to have a D&C. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AngelBee Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 A dear friend of mine is pregnant with twins. At the 8 week u/s, they could not find heartbeats. She waited and went in again a few days ago, but still no heartbeats. At about 10 weeks they measured 8w6d. However, there is no cramping or spotting or any evidence she's about to miscarry. In fact, she is still experiencing strong morning sickness. The dr seems to be in a big hurry to do a D&C, but my friend isn't convinced yet. (She has had 5 healthy pregnancies before this, so she is not a newbie.) Would be so grateful for advice. What to say or do??? Is there hope? What should she look for or ask? Thank you so much for your help in this very difficult situation. I had this happen with ds11 and he ended up still being there. I was told he never developed and they wanted to DandC that day. I would wait til she starts bleeding naturally. She should keep hydrated and keep her iron intake up. :grouphug: Praying for her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
herbalgirl Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 Definitely wait. If she's truly measuring 8wks6days on the u/s, which, at this point is usually pretty accurate, the PP was very true in saying that the heartbeat cannot always be picked up that early. Sometimes miscarriages just take a while to get going, too. If she's not running a fever, no horrible cramping pains, etc, there really is no harm in waiting. Some drs. seem like they just want to get in there and do a D & C so quickly. :( I suffered a miscarriage after 5 healthy pregnancies, and was blessed to talk to the OB on call at the hospital (I went there because I was bleeding a lot and it being my first m/c, had no idea what to expect) and he advised not doing the D & C. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blakereese Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 (edited) I would wait. :grouphug: Ask for another U/S in a week. Also have blood drawn every few days to check hormone levels. Just to be sure. My midwife did this for me when I had my m/c and my subsequent pregnancies, and the peace of mind it offered (in each circumstance, positive and negative) was priceless. In a week or two if the situation is the same, then I would go ahead with a D&C. Well, personally, I would try to wait to have it happen naturally, but I don't know your friend's complete medical history and how that would be different with twins. But it is always safer to have it happen naturally, especially if she hopes to be pregnant again (yes, I do realize that there are exceptions to this). Edited January 30, 2011 by blakereese punctuation! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardening momma Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 When I was 8 weeks pregnant with my small girl, my midwife said there's a small chance that we would hear a heartbeat because it's so early. Because I'm very slender, we were able to hear one. I would imagine depending on your friend's size, it just may be too soon to hear heartbeats. At my next appointment, another midwife who saw me was actually surprised that we heard a heartbeat at 8 weeks since it's so early. So I would wait. ETA: I don't even know what a D&C is??? 8 weeks really isn't early to see a heartbeat in an ultrasound. 6 weeks is about when you'd start expecting to see one. Maybe it could be early to hear a heartbeat with a stethoscope, but not to see it on ultrasound. My doctor was able to see a heartbeat at 6 weeks for both of my dc. Those were my 2nd & 3rd pregnancies. For my first, there was no heartbeat at 6 weeks, and my doctor had my hormone levels checked a couple of times. They were going down. After another ultrasound at 7 weeks, I had a D&C. I chose not to do the D&C right after that first ultrasound that showed no heartbeat. I wanted to be sure. I would wait. :grouphug: Ask for another U/S in a week. Also have blood drawn every few days to check hormone levels. Just to be sure. My midwife did this for me when I had my m/c and my subsequent pregnancies, and the peace of mind it offered (in each circumstance, positive and negative) was priceless. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
C_l_e_0..Q_c Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 I'm married to a man who's mom chose not to have the D&C due to thoughts that she had a miscarriage.Beth Wow, that's impressive! Kudos to his mom... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AngelBee Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 I'm married to a man who's mom chose not to have the D&C due to thoughts that she had a miscarriage.Beth That is wonderful! Someday some woman will say that about my son! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Giraffe Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 I also know someone who waited and then when she went in for the D&C asked for one more ultrasound, just to be sure. They found the heartbeat. The little girl is now 3yo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa in Jax Posted January 31, 2011 Share Posted January 31, 2011 When I miscarried, I found it *incredibly* comforting to do so in my own home. Having a procedure in the doctor's office/hospital would have been much more upsetting to me. I needed privacy and needed to be able to cry w/o others watching me. IMHO, barring any fevers or signs of infection, she should wait as long as *she* feels comfortable waiting. If she hasn't miscarried in the meantime and she becomes uncomfortable waiting, she can go in. Hugs to your friend. I hope the u/s without heartbeats turns out to be a mistake. Lisa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PinkInTheBlue Posted January 31, 2011 Share Posted January 31, 2011 Due to postponements and cancellations on my and my OB's parts, my first appointment with my first pregnancy wasn't until about 19 weeks. (well, appointment after the initial positive pregnancy test appt). At that 19week appointment they did an ultrasound and found no heartbeat and the baby measuring at only 9 weeks. I lived about 9 hours from "home" and left that day to come see my "home" doctor. He did a thorough ultrasound also and recommended an immediate D&C due to length of time. He said to have a nonviable pregnancy go on that long really threatened the chance of infection. I know your friend is nowhere near this, of course. My point is just that going through that D&C was much worse than the natural, at home miscarriage I had years later. If she can and wants to wait, I also highly recommend it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
littlebug42 Posted January 31, 2011 Share Posted January 31, 2011 I would ask for a second opinion. With my first pregnancy, we had ultrasounds at 6 and at 8 weeks, both of which showed heartbeats. I had a third at 10 weeks and there was no heartbeat. My doc saw it in his office but referred me to a perinatologist who had much more powerful ultrasound equipment. It was obvious to all in the room that the baby no longer had a heartbeat. For me personally, the 5 days I had to wait before the D&C were the worst of my life. It really messed with my mind knowing that my baby was dead. I couldn't really grieve and move on until after my D&C. If I had waited any longer, I would have ended up in a psychiatric facility. My dh and I had tried to get pregnant for over three years and then my first pregnancy ended this way. It was a dark time. Anyway, I would get a second opinion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alyeska Posted January 31, 2011 Share Posted January 31, 2011 I agree that she should wait. :grouphug: My best friend has a five year old dd who showed no heartbeat on an 8 week u/s. You just never know... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sewingmama Posted January 31, 2011 Share Posted January 31, 2011 Was there a heartbeat at the 10 week U/S? I had a miscarriage at 12 weeks. We don't get early U/S in Australia so you usually start miscarrying before you know there is no heartbeat. Anyway I started bleeding so I went in and had an U/S. There was no heartbeat and the baby measured at 8 weeks - I could see it was not viable - the baby was just lying there not moving. I've had an U/S before at 10 weeks - I knew it was supposed to be a lot more developed and moving around. I chose to miscarry naturally as I couldn't get anyone to watch my kids to go into hospital. It still took 2.5 weeks after the bleeding started to finally miscarry. So all up - it took about 6 weeks since the baby died till when it passed out. It sounds very likely that she has lost the pregnancy - but there is no harm in waiting if she wants to. It might take a couple weeks before she starts bleeding though - if she still has morning sickness then her hormones haven't come down enough to start releasing the pregnancy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted January 31, 2011 Share Posted January 31, 2011 We don't get early U/S in Australia . I beg to differ. I have had an ultrasound at around 8-9 weeks with just about all my babies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MyBlueLobsters Posted January 31, 2011 Share Posted January 31, 2011 Any update on your friend? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Classical Country Mama Posted February 1, 2011 Author Share Posted February 1, 2011 Thank you so much, everyone, for your kind words and advice. My friend's next doctor's appointment is Wednesday the 9th, and she has decided to wait and discuss (again) the situation with her doctor in person at that time. She is going to tell the doctor point blank that she will NOT agree to a D&C without absolute certainty that everything is over. There is still zero sign of miscarrying; she still has strong morning sickness, and she says actually her belly is growing. She's at about 11 weeks now. She says the waiting has forced her to confront her fears, and she is readier now to accept the outcome, whatever it is. Prayers would be very gratefully welcomed. Thank you again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 Thanks for the update - praying for the best for your friend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UnsinkableKristen Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 Thanks for the update - :grouphug: to your friend! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Classical Country Mama Posted February 9, 2011 Author Share Posted February 9, 2011 Just an update on my friend. She just finished at the doctor, where she insisted on another ultrasound. The u/s this time has definitely confirmed the pregnancy is over. She is still going to wait to let her body take care of things naturally. Thank you so much to all of you for your kind advice and prayers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama Anna Posted February 9, 2011 Share Posted February 9, 2011 :grouphug: So sorry! Mama Anna Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dancer67 Posted February 9, 2011 Share Posted February 9, 2011 I am very sorry to hear this. I am a mom who lost a twin at 30 weeks, and this is just devastating. Praying for her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LittleIzumi Posted February 9, 2011 Share Posted February 9, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Giraffe Posted February 9, 2011 Share Posted February 9, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Just went through this myself (not twins, though). I'm praying for her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
k2bdeutmeyer Posted February 9, 2011 Share Posted February 9, 2011 Oh!! The poor thing! I cannot imagine how she must be feeling right now! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PentecostalMom Posted February 10, 2011 Share Posted February 10, 2011 I went in for a 12 week u/s with a previous pregnancy & there was no heartbeat. I know how she feels! I had been having strong morning sickness as well. To make a long story short, I ended up having a m/c @ Target!!! Still had to have a d&c. Waited 1 month then got pregnant the following month. This is a difficult time. I cried and cried, it was devastating! :grouphug: to your friend. Be there to :bigear: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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