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I'm sad and grumpy and irritable and...


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I don't even want to be around me right now! I'm coming off of several really good days. We're back in the "school groove", dh has been home b/c of all the snow, I've been baking and cooking (which is a miracle in itself) and have been pretty happy and content. Then today...BAM! Mrs. Grump. I'm sad...still grieving a loss that I'd rather not talk about for fear somebody will think it "trivial". I just want to cry. I'm irritable b/c my house is a wreck, dh is nursing a slight concussion suffered after he and ds11 clashed heads playing football...WITHOUT HELMETS! :glare: Ds 11 was fine. I had a therapy session today which brought to the surface all those sad feelings and now I don't know what to do with them. I have a Bible study tonight that I don't want to go to b/c 2 of the women there make me very uncomfortable b/c they are very judgemental. I'm planning school for next year and can't figure out what to do for 2 of my boys, am sad b/c ds12 wants to go to public high school in 2012/13 and while dh and I have given him permission, I am just sad about it. I'm sorry to just ramble and if you have read this far God bless you. You are either very bored right now or a saint. :D Thanks.

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Skip the meeting that results in you experiencing more negativity. Sit with your feelings, experience them fully- cry, scream into a pillow, 'talk to god', etc. Then do something that feels NICE, and does not involve any negative input from anyone/thing else and do NOT let your self start with the negative mental tape. Think about good things and happy things. Hopefully that will help somewhat. Hugs.

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I agree with the PP who suggested you skip your Bible study group. I would take an hour to do something just for you - read a book, watch a DVD, take a walk, paint your toenails - whatever suits you. A little recharge time.

 

:grouphug: "weeping endures for a night, but joy comes in the morning."

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I really want to skip this Bible study but there are only 4 of us. The 2 women I mentioned are the hostess and her neighbor (both moms of friends of my children). The other woman is one of my neighbors whom I really like a lot. I feel like I need to get out. And I feel guilty skipping (this is only the second week). Perhaps I'll go and just leave early. Thanks for the hugs. I wish I had somewhere to go and somebody to cry with right now.

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I really want to skip this Bible study but there are only 4 of us. The 2 women I mentioned are the hostess and her neighbor (both moms of friends of my children). The other woman is one of my neighbors whom I really like a lot. I feel like I need to get out. And I feel guilty skipping (this is only the second week). Perhaps I'll go and just leave early. Thanks for the hugs. I wish I had somewhere to go and somebody to cry with right now.

 

I can see why it would be hard to skip such a small group. That said, I think your own emotional balance is more important. It's not like you're going to skip every other week, is it? Anyway, I hope you feel better soon, whatever you decide for today. :grouphug:

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Well, I went and I am sort of glad I did. Do you ever come to a point in your life when you stop thinking that YOU are the one who is crazy and just plain ignorant and start thinking that it is actually the people around who are crazy and ignorant? :D To clarify...I used to think that I was so far behind in my spiritual walk and that my relationship with God was inadequate or lacking or somehow inferior to that of most of my Christian friends. Tonight, I had an "aha" moment. My relationship with God is REAL...complete with doubt and anger and love and trust and pain and questions and "wrestling until I knock out my hip" and just plain RAW emotion. I am real. And I am real with God. I've had it with phony facades and pretending to be somebody that I am not or to feel something that I don't or to be more perfect than I am. I am who I am. Take me or leave me. Thank you, Hive friends, for accepting me for who I am...the good, the bad and the ugly and for listening and encouraging and validating and not trying to fix me or throw "Scripture darts" at me. I love you all. :D

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Well, I went and I am sort of glad I did. Do you ever come to a point in your life when you stop thinking that YOU are the one who is crazy and just plain ignorant and start thinking that it is actually the people around who are crazy and ignorant? :D To clarify...I used to think that I was so far behind in my spiritual walk and that my relationship with God was inadequate or lacking or somehow inferior to that of most of my Christian friends. Tonight, I had an "aha" moment. My relationship with God is REAL...complete with doubt and anger and love and trust and pain and questions and "wrestling until I knock out my hip" and just plain RAW emotion. I am real. And I am real with God. I've had it with phony facades and pretending to be somebody that I am not or to feel something that I don't or to be more perfect than I am. I am who I am. Take me or leave me. Thank you, Hive friends, for accepting me for who I am...the good, the bad and the ugly and for listening and encouraging and validating and not trying to fix me or throw "Scripture darts" at me. I love you all. :D

 

What a great 'aha' moment to have.

 

:grouphug: for everything you're going through. Hope you get a good sleep and things are brighter in the morning.

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Well, I went and I am sort of glad I did. Do you ever come to a point in your life when you stop thinking that YOU are the one who is crazy and just plain ignorant and start thinking that it is actually the people around who are crazy and ignorant? :D To clarify...I used to think that I was so far behind in my spiritual walk and that my relationship with God was inadequate or lacking or somehow inferior to that of most of my Christian friends. Tonight, I had an "aha" moment. My relationship with God is REAL...complete with doubt and anger and love and trust and pain and questions and "wrestling until I knock out my hip" and just plain RAW emotion. I am real. And I am real with God. I've had it with phony facades and pretending to be somebody that I am not or to feel something that I don't or to be more perfect than I am. I am who I am. Take me or leave me. Thank you, Hive friends, for accepting me for who I am...the good, the bad and the ugly and for listening and encouraging and validating and not trying to fix me or throw "Scripture darts" at me. I love you all. :D

 

Glad you're feeling happier. :001_smile:

 

I think I understand what you mean about being "real" with God. At times when everything around me is in chaos - emotional and mental chaos - and people are not what they seem, the one thing I can be sure of is where I am with God: I'm still His child, He loves me and cares for me, He knows who I am - He knows that I'm trying to please Him - and I am safe knowing that He accepts me as I am. Then it doesn't matter what other people think of me or what they do and say. Make sense?

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And to confirm my "aha" moment, I heard a message this morning on our local Christian radio station and while the preacher was praying, he was thanking God that He is big enough to handle our questions and our anger and our doubt in times or trouble and insecurity and tragedy. God didn't design us to stuff those feelings and He is certainly big enough to handle them. Thanks for the hugs. I feel better but am still rather irritable. Might be that time of the month. :D

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