I know I have over-eating tendencies...what to do?

[Dianne-TX]

I know I do and my parents are the same way. I have lived hearing about losing weight all the time, but seeing the over-eating. I love to cook and make my family happy with their favorite foods. We are not obese people here, but def. overweight. (height does help, but it doesn't hide what I know about myself) Are there any books I can read about how to help overcome this, help this, get past it? I live everyday with saying I'm going to do it different and even buy good things from the store, but every day ends the same. Funny enough, I have a big interest in health and am always researching about health and nutrition, etc., etc. I know what to do, I just don't do it. I need to get a grasp on what's going on and I think I need to start with over-eating and getting a hold of that. Anybody else understand where I'm at? What did you do? I am going to do Jenny Craig starting in Feb. simply because I need the personal, weekly accountability and someone to already make the food decisions for me. The anxiety I have about losing weight becomes more calm when I think of being accountable to someone.

Edited January 29, 2011 by Dianne-TX

[IsabelC]

Something that has worked for me that you might like to consider. Get a notebook and record a food log listing everything you eat. Next to the time and food columns, make a column to list the reason you think you're eating. Hungry? Or is it bored, tired, stressed, procrastinating, craving chocolate, thirsty, etc? Do this for a few days to get a picture of why you're eating if you're not hungry. Then you note down one or two alternative activities you could do instead of eating for each scenario, (eg stressed - breath deeply, phone a friend, pray; or tired - exercise for a few minutes, stretch, go outside for a break; or whatever options might work for you). I actually printed mine out and stuck it to the inside of the pantry cupboard so I'd see it when I went for food.

 

The above is to work on breaking the habit of starting to eat when we're not hungry. You also might need a strategy for developing a habit of stopping eating when you've had enough. Many of us were trained as kids to clear our plates, or we have a scarcity mentality that tells us to eat the good stuff while it's there in case we can't get it later. I'm still working on that one, but my techniques are (1) serve smaller portions and (2) practice leaving something on your plate. The first one is contradictory to some books, which advise cultivating the French habit of never taking seconds. But personally I find that if you know you can't have any more, the tendency is to take heaps to start with, and then want to finish it off. There was a famous experiment where they rigged up bottomless bowls of soup, and the diners ate ridiculous amounts because they were trying to finish their bowls rather than picking up on satiety signals.

 

If you feel that Jenny Craig will work well for you, I wish you all the best with it. However, I believe that most diets or eating plans just hinder us from learning to listen to our own bodies. Sure, eating a calorie controlled portion is better than eating 5 times as much as you need. But enjoying the food until your body lets you know you've had enough is better still, imho.

 

Anyhow, whatever you think about the above (which are just my experience/thoughts, so you might totally disagree!), don't forget this: you don't overeat because you're bad, or lack willpower, etc. There's always some reason why we behave in ways that aren't good for us, but we need to focus on helping ourselves, not blaming ourselves.

[Truscifi]

I have a 'clear the plate' mentality too - my parents referred to it as a happy plate, as in, it is not happy if there is still food on it. I found that simply switching to 8" salad plates instead of 12" dinner plates helped me reduce food consumption.

 

Now I'm working on putting the food away as soon as the meal is done, so I don't eat 'just a few more bites' every time I walk past it. Our previous habit was to wait until the end of the evening and clean everything at one time because dh often goes back to get more later in the evening (he is skinny as a rail, of course).

 

I think you need to keep a food log as pp said so you can see when, why, and what you are actually eating. Once you know what your problem areas/times/whatever are you can target them more accurately.

[Parrothead]

I know I do and my parents are the same way. I have lived hearing about losing weight all the time, but seeing the over-eating. I love to cook and make my family happy with their favorite foods. We are not obese people here, but def. overweight. (height does help, but it doesn't hide what I know about myself) Are there any books I can read about how to help overcome this, help this, get past it? I live everyday with saying I'm going to do it different and even buy good things from the store, but every day ends the same. Funny enough, I am a big interest in health and am always researching about health and nutrition, etc., etc. I know what to do, I just don't do it. I need to get a grasp on what's going on and I think I need to start with over-eating and getting a hold of that. Anybody else understand where I'm at? What did you do? I am going to do Jenny Craig starting in Feb. simply because I need the personal, weekly accountability and someone to already make the food decisions for me. The anxiety I have about losing weight becomes more calm when I think of being accountable to someone.

Do you have any idea how much of your post sounds like something an person with a drug or alcohol problem would say. Every night when I went to bed I made a vow to quit smoking the next day. The next day the first thing I did was light up. Every day I'd think about how I needed to quit and try to devise some system of quitting.

 

It finally took medication for me to quit. Unfortunately there isn't a medicine to quit eating.

 

When you say you overeat are you talking about portion size? All day grazing? Excessive snacking? Input more than output (no exercise to counteract the excessive calories)? Do you turn to food in an emotional way? All of the above?

 

What is your motivation for eating? Find out what that is first. You need to get to the point that food is nothing but nourishment for your body. It doesn't offer comfort. It isn't a sign of stability. That whole making your family happy with food is a destructive behavior. It is quite possible that you are teaching your family to find comfort and love in food.

 

Maybe you can talk to a counselor. I don't know anything about this group but maybe you can get some answers and insights from Overeaters Anonymous.

[melik]

I could have written your post! I have been working one on one with a counselor for the last few months it has been eye opening and very helpful. The problem is much more complex and deep than I would have imagined. Get help it's so worth it!

 

Meli

[MotherMayI]

I just reached my goal weight with Nutrisystem. I think that Jenny Craig may be just what you need. You will keep a food diary, you will learn portion control and you will break old bad habits. I too have switched to smaller plates for most meals (sometimes my veggie portions are so large that I need a large plate) and that does seem to make a difference. I look at snacking differently-and I don't find myself needing to binge on sweets. I do stock my freezer with low calorie frozen treats and I keep well stocked on "free" foods. I am never hungry and I feel better than I have in years. While I have been on NS I still eat out on occassion- I just make sure I continue making good choices and I watch my portions. I do eat when I am hungry, but I don't gorge and I generally will have a pickle or something "free"... I also frequent the NS community boards which has a wealth of support and knowledge. Jenny Craig has a similar board. You can do this! I really thought I was just going to have to learn to be happy with myself as I was 35lbs ago. I am so glad that I went this route. It has changed so much more for me than my weight. Best wishes!

[Dianne-TX]

Thank you so much for your input and time. I do, even now, practice chewing gum instead of eating something when I know I don't really want it. I've not nailed down the exact reasons why I eat sometimes, but I know boredom is way up there. I will also just think of something and then want it. Being home all day with kiddos doesn't help. I do better when I'm out doing something or if we are busy here at the house. I'm at a wall and I can't break throught it, but I'm chipping away at it slowly.

[Rosie_0801]

The solution probably depends what and why you are overeating.

 

I need grains and some fat in each meal. If I don't get them, I will go on rampage through the pantry no matter how much of anything else I've eaten.

 

If I'm binging on sugar, and the above isn't the problem, I'm either not getting enough sleep and using food to compensate or I'm low on calcium.

 

I'm coming to believe most food issues (for me anyway) are salad deficiencies ;)

 

Rosie

[Dianne-TX]

Oh, wow, more posts after I responded to the first one. Thanks everyone. To answer one poster, yes, dh and I talk all the time about how food habits are much like other addictions. I just tend to be more thoughtless about my eating or get side-tracked with the "you know what sounds good" statement made by my dh or children or myself. We are like most families, I'm sure, and love to cook together, find new recipes together and just share memories and closeness with our meals. I don't think there's anything wrong with it. I want my kids to want to come home to momma's cooking. When I said I want to make my family happy with food or cooking something they love, I don't mean gorge city. It is in a normal way. My personal tendencies do not jump onto them. It's very much like a grandmother who always made your favorite meal. I also know the "clean your plate" thing and have never done it to my kids. We just tell them to eat until they are full or feel done and that doesn't mean you have to clean your plate. I do not overdo it with the food love thing with my kids. I have one friend who gives her kids a cookie every time they get hurt or sad. I KNOW that is creating all kinds of misplaced comfort. I've never done that and I don't eat for emotional reasons except for happiness (meaning a celebration and then I don't think about portion size). I'm not one who eats a whole tub of ice cream when I'm sad. I actually don't eat when I'm upset. Weird. I don't hide and just gorge on food. I just eat more than I should in a sitting and then will pick on my kids plate later if they didn't finish. I just feel like it's a problem because I keep doing it and don't want to.

Edited January 29, 2011 by Dianne-TX

[Dianne-TX]

I just reached my goal weight with Nutrisystem. I think that Jenny Craig may be just what you need. You will keep a food diary, you will learn portion control and you will break old bad habits. I too have switched to smaller plates for most meals (sometimes my veggie portions are so large that I need a large plate) and that does seem to make a difference. I look at snacking differently-and I don't find myself needing to binge on sweets. I do stock my freezer with low calorie frozen treats and I keep well stocked on "free" foods. I am never hungry and I feel better than I have in years. While I have been on NS I still eat out on occassion- I just make sure I continue making good choices and I watch my portions. I do eat when I am hungry, but I don't gorge and I generally will have a pickle or something "free"... I also frequent the NS community boards which has a wealth of support and knowledge. Jenny Craig has a similar board. You can do this! I really thought I was just going to have to learn to be happy with myself as I was 35lbs ago. I am so glad that I went this route. It has changed so much more for me than my weight. Best wishes!

 

Good for you!!!! :party:

[Dianne-TX]

I could have written your post! I have been working one on one with a counselor for the last few months it has been eye opening and very helpful. The problem is much more complex and deep than I would have imagined. Get help it's so worth it!

 

Meli

 

What type of counselor do you go to?

[Greta]

Just throwing this out there as one possibility . . . What if the problem isn't emotional in nature, and has nothing to do with "will power" but is simply physical/biological?

 

I think there are a number of problems with the modern diet that make us chronically hungry for two reasons. One is that our bodies are NOT getting the nourishment they need. And another is that our diets are FILLED with foods that stimulate the appetite!

 

Here is what I have learned from personal experience: my body tells me very clearly when I have eaten enough fat and/or protein, by shutting my hunger off like a switch. I mean, it's profound. I can be happily eating along, and all of a sudden with one bite, I know it's my last. Carbohydrates on the other hand? Totally different story. I could eat my weight in tortilla chips, or mashed potatoes, or popcorn, (or bread or brownies or pasta back in the days when I could eat gluten), and still not feel like I've had enough. Carbohydrates are not only not filling for me, they actually make me want to eat MORE!

 

Sweets are also highly stimulating to the appetite. I do not drink sweet beverages with a meal, because it makes me eat more. You mentioned the chewing gum thing -- I tried that on the advice of some friends and it completely backfires for me. The taste of anything sweet makes me want more food! Caffeine also stimulates the appetite. And MSG is a powerful appetite stimulant - and that stuff is in almost every processed or packaged food out there!

 

If you go low-carb, you will be amazed at how your appetite decreases! It is like night and day for me. When I let my carbohydrate intake get too high, it's like I become obsessed with food. When I keep it low, I enjoy my food very much, but I don't think about it between meals. It is a joy, but it's not my raison d'etre.

 

I feel best physically and emotionally when I eat "primal". http://www.marksdailyapple.com/definitive-guide-to-the-primal-eating-plan/

[Rosie_0801]

Get chooks or a worm farm or something. I'll bet you find it easier to leave the leftovers you don't really want if you have something to do other than bin them.

 

Rosie

 

Edit: chooks means chickens in case you're Australian dialect knowledge is lacking :)

[Dianne-TX]

Get chooks or a worm farm or something. I'll bet you find it easier to leave the leftovers you don't really want if you have something to do other than bin them.

 

Rosie

 

Edit: chooks means chickens in case you're Australian dialect knowledge is lacking :)

 

We have a dog! She'll be happy to get the leftovers! Do it immediately and it's forgotten, right?!

[Julie in CA]

...but I just wanted to chip in with a few comments.

First of all, I *completely* understand where you are with this, because I've battled the same thing, and I'm not through with it yet either. I love feeding people, and I'm very good at it. In some ways, my self worth has hinged on feeling good at taking care of people, especially with food.

 

There are a few things that have helped--a little.

One thing is to take a new pride in learning a new technique for cooking. Instead of thinking of your cooking skills as focusing on "comfort food", try taking a class or doing some specific self-study so that your culinary specialty becomes something like "cooking for fitness & health" or "cooking to heal body & soul". Devote some time & effort to learning special techniques for that method of cooking. Make it your culinary masterpiece, kwim? Learn to take such pride in the presentation of the food that you excel and become an undeniable expert. It helps to still feel pride in what you're serving, even after the food focus has changed from decadently yummy to healthfully yummy.

 

Another thing that {duh!} really helps, is actually paying attention to how many servings you're preparing when you cook. Rather than using 3 lbs. of ground beef when making tacos, I now purposely figure on 4-6 oz. of meat per person, and only make that much. It has been an adjustment for my family, and I still have to remind them not to help themselves to more than their share, or someone won't get to have any because there simply is not enough there for anyone to take more than they should. When I'm doing the serving, I give each person what is technically *one serving*, rather than automatically assuming that my big guys will want two servings and dishing that up for them on the first go-round. As someone else already mentioned, using smaller plates is helpful, especially when you take special care to present meals in a way that shows you care, not by the quantity of food you present, but by the quality of the food and your care in it's presentation.

 

My last suggestion is that if you have the time, find another venue within which you can serve large quantities of food to many people, and feel satisfied in doing so. Then go home and cook sparingly for your family. My food motto has always been, "Go big, or go home!". That works fine when I'm planning a church congregation dinner, and keeps me from the urge to provide food for my family the same way. I'm also a pastry chef, and I now *pretty much never make dessert for my family*. That's my profession, and I do it well, but only at work. At home I pride myself on making the best dadgum smoothie I can, in a beautiful frosted glass, with a strawberry on the rim, and a colorful flexi-straw to drink it through. It's better for us all, but still allows me to show I care by feeding people. :001_smile:

 

Anyhow, it's a process I'm still going through, and here's a :grouphug: for other folks going through the same thing. I still think I might eventually need some counseling to help me figure out how to comfort & show *myself* I care without feeding myself too much, but all of the outside trappings of healthy family eating are in place for when I'm ready. One of my dd's has lost 65 lbs. since we've made changes a couple of years ago, so I know I'm on the right track for my family.

 

Blessings on you as you figure this out,

Julie

[Rosie_0801]

We have a dog! She'll be happy to get the leftovers! Do it immediately and it's forgotten, right?!

 

And you'll have given another creature great joy! I've never met a dog who took leftovers for granted ;)

 

Rosie

[melik]

What type of counselor do you go to?

 

She is just a family counselor but she does have some background in eating issues. She has helped me just get started on really managing the behavior because I was gaining weight, quickly! Now that I have dropped some weight and feeling a little better in the day to day we are really working on the issues causing my overeating.

 

I didn't want to go on yet another diet only to gain all the weight back and then some. I want to change! I so do not want to pass this stuff on to my kids, so now it is time to deal with it.

 

It's not easy and the habits run really deep. I am making progress and I feel sooooo much better. Most of all I am just more hopeful that I can change and live a more healthy life for me and my kids.

 

So worth it!

 

Meli

[Negin]

Edit: chooks means chickens in case you're Australian dialect knowledge is lacking :)

I always love that. Heard it before. :D :lol:

 

Just hanging out here since I struggle with this also. :confused:

 

Hcg is the only thing that has worked for me in a very long while. I need structure at this point in my life and lots of it. I'm very much not at all a diet person. But again, this is do-able. This has jump-started my weight loss. I needed that. I was tired of the slow or non-existent losses on other plans. I needed something radical.

[jplain]

Just throwing this out there as one possibility . . . What if the problem isn't emotional in nature, and has nothing to do with "will power" but is simply physical/biological?

 

(snip)

 

Here is what I have learned from personal experience: my body tells me very clearly when I have eaten enough fat and/or protein, by shutting my hunger off like a switch.

 

(snip)

 

Carbohydrates on the other hand? Totally different story. I could eat my weight in tortilla chips, or mashed potatoes, or popcorn, (or bread or brownies or pasta back in the days when I could eat gluten), and still not feel like I've had enough. Carbohydrates are not only not filling for me, they actually make me want to eat MORE!

:iagree: This seems to be true for many people.

 

 

If you go low-carb, you will be amazed at how your appetite decreases!

:iagree: The first couple of weeks can be a little uncomfortable as your body adjusts, but after that it is great.

 

Along with browsing the website GretaLynne suggested, Mark's Daily Apple, try to get your hands on a copy of Why We Get Fat: And What to Do About It.

[Laura Corin]

Do you snack? I find that I graze all day and, without realising, take in a lot of food between meals. I find that the No S way of eating is the only way to break that cycle, for me.

 

Laura